


The First Punch

by starksparker



Category: tom holland - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Boxing, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, boxer, underground boxing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-06-27 12:14:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 97,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15685236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starksparker/pseuds/starksparker
Summary: 2 Underground Boxers. Biggest underground competition in Chicago. Both are the ones to watch, expected to win. Bet on by everyone who knows of the league. Neither can afford to lose. One champion. Only one problem: they fall for each other.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know Tom personally nor I own him. What’s written is just fiction and should be thought of as such. I do not directly associate the actions, activities, or emotions with Tom himself. He is being used here as a character should be thought of such.

Music blared through Tom’s earbuds, loud and throbbing helping him block out everything around him. His gloved fists connected with the large bag hanging from the ceiling while grunts and heavy breaths fell from his lips. His chest heaved as he stayed on his toes, eyes focused and trained, readying himself for his first match in the new city. His arms flexed with every hit he took and damp curls fell onto his forehead with beads of wet falling down his face.  Determination radiated from him.

That’s the thing. Determination always radiated from him when he’s in the ring or training. He’s always focused and keeps his eyes open, always on alert. He’s won match after match after match back in England but that never stirred any of his focus or determination to win. He’s confident in what he does but it doesn’t go to his head. Of course, Tom can have an ego, one would have to in order to win as much as he does but it’s always confidence, not arrogance. That’s just how he is.

A tap on Tom’s shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts, his fist nearly colliding into his best friend.

“Can you watch it? Scared the fuck outta me.” Tom groaned, ripping the white wire from his ears with his glove.

Harrison chuckled with a one-shoulder shrug. “Turn your bloody music down and you won’t have that problem.”

Tom’s eyes roll as he undoes the strap of his glove with his teeth. “What time is it?” Tom questions, realizing Harrison isn’t supposed to be at the gym until it was time to leave.

“Just after five.” Harrison says, handing Tom his water. “We gotta head out.”

“Already?” Tom’s brows raised before he squirted water into his mouth.

“Yeah, Arthur wants you to see your competition first.”

“Why?” Tom presses.

“No clue. Do  _you_  wanna ask him?” Harrison scoffs.

Tom shakes his head knowing too well that Arthur isn’t one who likes being questioned. “I’m good.” Tom chuckles.

“Nervous?” Harrison eyes him, watching Tom’s finger tap on the top of the bottle.

“Nah,” Tom shakes his head. “It’ll be like every other time.”

Harrison doesn’t respond for a few seconds, allowing the air to stiffen between the friends. “Yeah, sure.” Harrison agrees but his words are unconvincing.

Tom’s competed in plenty of different cities and the only thing any of the competitions have in common is that the rules are sure to be different. Tom doesn’t know exactly what or who he’s up against. He’s not sure of the rules or regulations. Arthur has just told him this is the only way to repay him. This competition. He wins, the slate is clean and Tom is free. Tom loses, and well, it won’t be very pretty for Tom. That’s it. That’s all either boy knows and it’s only slightly unsettling. At least with every other competition Tom has competed in, he’s aware of the rules and regulations, even a basic guess as to who he’d be up against at least a few days before the fights started. Not this time, however. Tom feels like he’s going in blind and Harrison feels like he’s the blind leading the blind. It’s a mess.

“Convincing.” Tom remarks.

Harrison groans. “I just wish I had more information to give you so you could be prepared.”

“I'll be alright.” Tom grins, holding his head high.

Harrison sighs, shaking his head as a smile comes to his face. “Alright, let’s get back and you can shower. We’ll head to the office after. We’ve to be there by six so you gotta make it quick.”

Tom nods and gathers his things, following Harrison out of the gym. He’s nervous for what’s to come but saying he’s’ not, makes him believe he’s not. Tom sometimes can hold the fake it till you make it attitude when it comes to nerves. Pretend he’s not nervous and eventually, the nervousness fades away and he can turn it into strength and willpower. He can only hope that attitude will help him tonight especially with Arthur betting on him. It’s a good thing he has a few hours to turn his nerves into excitement.

* * *

The familiar taste of iron trickled through SJ’s mouth. Her hands gripped the edge of the bathroom counter as her legs dangled and music played through the bathroom. The counter is cold, a nice contrast to her warm hands. There’s a soft ringing in her ears, only slightly distracting her from the ache of her face and ribs. Just slightly.

“Ow, fuck off Matty!” She hisses as her friend tried cleaning the wound that was still partially bleeding.

“Shut up. Do you want it infected?” Matty snaps.

“No.” SJ grumbles. “But you could, I dunno, warn a person.”

“I did. Did you not hear me?” Matty rolls his eyes going back to cleaning her face.

“Apparently, not.” She mumbles against him, her breath brushing against his exposed skin of his arms. The stinging continues as he dabs the alcohol covered gauze across the gash at the top of her hairline. “It’s a good thing you dropped med school.” SJ narrows her eyes.

“Damn straight because your hair would be just as fucked as your face if I didn’t.” Matty pulls away, cocky his head to the right, snark in his words. “For the record though, I’m still certified so  _shut up_.”

SJ sighs and lets him continue to clean the wound. He finishes and moves onto the looking her nose. She winces as his delicate fingers feel around the outside and then move to the bridge. Pressure under her skin builds with every soft touch of his fingers and she winces every few seconds.

Matty stops for a few seconds, a scolding expression boring into SJ’s bored one. “I don’t think it’s broken.”

“There’s a plus.” SJ lets out a sigh of relief.

“Why?” Matty lets out a dry chuckle. “It’ll be broke by the end of the night anyway.”  He hands her a wash rag to start cleaning the dried blood under her nose.

“Have a little faith, will ya, Matty?” SJ’s voice changes to one of a teasing manner. “And besides, you’re my fixer upper so if it does break, I got you.” SJ gives him a toothy smile.

“‘S a little hard to have faith when you get your ass kicked outside of the ring.” Another voice pulls the two’s attention to the door frame.

A smirk tugs at SJ’s lips as she shakes her head, taking in her dark-haired friend. The skin is darkening on his cheek and she knows he’ll have a story to explain later. A white shirt clings to his skin accentuating his arms. His hair is perfectly gelled and styled to give his hair more volume. No matter what he’s doing or where he’s going, his hair always seems to be perfect and with the growing bruise on his face, SJ has to stifle back a laugh knowing him too well.

“Look who’s talking.” SJ quips, looking back to Matty.

“Your nose is broken and,” Mikey pushes off the doorframe, approaching SJ. He squeezes her ribs, a yelp falling from her lips as she punches his arm in reflex. “Seems like you’ve got a nasty bruise forming.” The challenging grin drops as his jaw squares.

“Her nose isn’t broken, Mikey.” Matty defends, sass in his voice as he continues cleaning the gash.

“Might as well be.” Mikey says and takes SJ’s chin in his hands when Matty moves away. “Really, what the hell happened?” Mikey looks over the bruising and the cut, trying to read SJ’s face.

SJ pulls away and brushes him off. “Making sure I  _‘get the big picture’_  or whatever.” SJ changes her voice to a mocking tone.

Mikey looks to Matty. Matty gives him a disapproving glance with the shake of his head. “How much does he have on you tonight?”

“Probably a lot.” SJ squints an eye. “He’s a fucking imbecile. He’ll bet a fuck ton of money on the first night just to raise the fucking stakes.” She rolls her eyes. “He’ll paint a bigger target on himself which paints one on me which I already have a big enough target as it is. I swear, the logic he has is that of a child.”

Mikey chuckles. “And yet, you got involved.” His chuckle comes to a dead halt with his words.

SJ’s jaw drops and she looks to Matty who just puts his hands up. “Sorry, he’s right.”

“Thanks, Matty.” SJ glares at him.

“You didn’t have to do any of this but you did. So, Mikey is right.” Mikey gives SJ a confident grin.

“Thank you.” Mikey says to Matty.

“I wasn’t done.” Matty states. “But Mikey can chill. She got the idea from you.” Matty points to Mikey, pursing his lips with a soft shrug and tilt of his head.

SJ laughs at the appalled expression on Mikey’s face, granting her a deadly glare from Mikey. “Alright.” Mikey sighs. “Just don’t lose.” A challenging grin comes to Mikey’s face and SJ just beams.

“I won’t.” SJ smirks with confidence. “First fight is always easy and I-I-I can totally win this year. Why are you doubting me?”

Mikey lets out a sigh and dodges eye contact. SJ wasn’t asking to be serious. Her tone was sarcastic and playful but the look on Mikey’s face expressed he had a genuine worry, something he rarely had for SJ. SJ can handle herself fine in the ring. Mikey has seen her a thousand times and he helps her train. She’s damn good and Mikey knows as well as SJ does that she does have the ability to win, if she’d get out of her head. If things worked out for her, she’d win but this is different. He olds faith in his friend to pull it out, she has to, but he’s worried this year.

“Okay, really? Sup?” SJ looks to Matty.

“Um,” Matty takes a seat on the edge of the white bathtub. “There’s supposedly a new fighter this year.”

“There’s always someone new.”

Mikey shakes his head as he licks his lips and gestures his hand out. “Rumor has it that he’ll be the one to beat after this match.”

“Well, who is he?” SJ presses, brows pulled together. “And that’d be a good thing. I’ll beat him. Ian will bet more money on me and he’ll end up with double. I’m off the hook.” 

“I have no idea.” Mikey admits. “That’s just what was going around last night when shit was getting pulled together for tonight. They were saying this dude is unlike anyone they've ever seen before but, that’s all I got.”

“Wow, you’re a great investigator. Remind me to hire you the next time I need a P.I.” Sarcasm drenches SJ’s words.

“Oh, okay, I’ll go sticking my damn nose where it doesn’t belong next time? We see where that lands everyone, yeah?”

“What the fuck crawled up your ass, Mikey? Matty is usually the one giving me shit!”

Mikey rests his hands on her shoulders. “You’re my best friend, Rocket. You have to win this time.”

Sj hangs her head and guilt starts to seep into her veins. “I know.” Her voice comes back down to a speaking level. “I know.” She points to her face as she sighs, an indication this was only a warning of what happens if you don’t win

“Well,” Matty lets out a sigh, standing up from his seat. “We gotta dip or we’ll fall behind.”

“Can’t wait to see this new competition.” SJ laughs as she hops down from the counter.

“Kick his ass.” Mikey chuckles, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as the three exit to the bathroom and grab their things to head over to the ring.

  Time for the first match of the season.  


	2. match one

The air of the spare room is muggy, almost suffocating with the horrendous ventilation. Muffled cheering is being heard from the center of the basement. Rumbling could nearly be felt through the thing walls and makeshift door. The crowd is rowdy. It's always rowdy the first night. That's something everyone can count on opening night. Rowdy, loud, the entire room filled with excitement to watch desperate people beat the hell out of each other as if their lives depended on it. The excitement of a crowd like that is both accelerating and nerve-wracking.

An indie song SJ isn't familiar with plays from Matty's phone while her hand is stuck out. Mikey wraps the off-white wrap around her hand and wrist, making sure to keep it snug but not enough to cut off her circulation. SJ opened and closed her fist on the opposite hand, as if the movement would disperse the ever-growing nerves.

"Good?" Mikey asks, letting go of her now wrapped hand.

"Good." SJ affirms, opening and closing both fists. Her eyes watch her fist, distant and concentrated.

"SJ," Matty starts. "There is another way."

SJ rests her hands in her lap, narrowing her eyes slightly at Matty. "Yeah? Beg your rents, right?"

"They'll loan you the money." Matty urges.

Mikey hangs his head, shaking it and running his hand through the worn gel of his hair.

"Yeah, they'll loan it to me, Matty and then what? I'll still be in debt to someone."

"Not Ian." Mikey scoffs.

"Look," SJ sighs, standing up and grabbing her gloves. "End result, still the same." SJ's calm as she shrugs her shoulder, Mikey and Matty glancing between each other. "You don't have to be here and I wouldn't blame you if you left." Sj's eyes are solely on Matty for a few seconds. "You either." SJ looks to Mikey. "Not yours, not your shit."

Mikey and Matty both groan, annoyed with their friend but understanding her point of view, Mikey more so than Matty.

"What's that thing you say-" Matty starts.

"You do for family...and sometimes your two best friends...and the homeless guy on ninth." Mikey rolls his eyes but there's a reluctant smirk tugging at his lips.

"Homeless guy has cool stories." SJ laughs and bites her lip.

"Yeah, yeah." Matty says. "Point is, not going anywhere." His eyes are soft with worry but he stands up.

SJ looks at Mikey who's already getting to his feet. "I was never out of it. I disagree with everything you do but I'll be damned if something happens to you and I'm not there to help." Mikey smirks, flicking SJ's forehead. She hisses in pain as a response. "Well, let's go." Mikey laughs, resting a hand on her shoulder.

The three of them make their way down the long, cold hallway, a strange contrast from the room they were in. The ceiling above them produced muffled music and thumping from the club dancers but SJ's focus was on the growing sound coming from the center of the basement. The rumbling of feet hitting the floor grew louder and the cheers escalated. SJ's palms sweat as they got closer and her heart ached in her chest with every step she took. The ringing in her ears is barely noticeable over her nerves.

Confidence doesn't mean the inability to be nervous. It was now or never. She had a shot here. This is her shot and if she wins, she's off the hook. It's a hook she's been dangling on like a catfish, waiting for her cheek either give way or someone to just remove it. One's a death sentence and the other is a hail mary. There is no next year. It's this year and she knows it. Brave face or not, SJ is terrified.

They reach the crowd of people in chairs, some standing from lack of seating, just in time to watch the winner of the second match exit the ring. SJ and Mikey leave Matty to make their way towards the ring, Matty always choosing to just try and find somewhere to stand or sit if they'd choose to stay after SJ was done. Mikey spends a few minutes reassuring SJ, his pep talk not doing much pepping but getting it's point across. "Just don't lose." And before they know it, it's time for SJ to enter the ring.

She goes under the ropes and Mikey stands outside the ropes in her corner with a water bottle, his heart picking up its pace as he's finally allowed to feel nervous for his best friend. But, he maintains a straight face as SJ and the other fighter take their stances. The guy SJ is fighting today is bigger, as they usually are. His veins protrude from his neck and his arms. His muscles are flexed and he's nearing six foot three. The guys is big but, as SJ has found, the bigger the better. She can dodge them easily and they tire out faster. She's faster and she can stay lower, their fists missing her face almost every time.

With the sound of an announcer through an old mic and a bell chiming, the fight begins. SJ's fists block her face and she remains on her toes while the man she's facing swings. He misses and his green eyes darken to a shade of forest green. His teeth grit against his mouth guard as he goes for another jab and SJ dodges. He's one of the smug boxers. New to the game but thinks he's better than everyone around, especially a girl, a girl smaller than him.

The fight continues when SJ sees her opportunity and punches him in the ribs, black and blue glove connecting with tan skin. The man grunts while SJ resumes her position, fists in front of her face. But, the man recovers quick and is on SJ. He lands a few punches to her head. Her vision blurs for a few seconds and the ringing in her ears becoming more noticeable but, with blood dripping from her nose and the wound Matty had stitched up earlier, she recovers. She only recovers long enough for the round to end, declaring your opponent the winner according to the ref.

SJ moves to Mikey for water and a short breather. SJ takes her mouth guard out while Mikey squirts water into her mouth with the water bottle.

"What the hell are you doing, Rocket?" Mikey's eyes are dark and narrowed, jaw squared.

"Winning." SJ retorts when he pulls the water away.

"Looks like you're losing to me." Mikey challenges, putting the water down and grabbing a rag to wipe the blood and a few beads of sweat from her forehead.

"New plan. Trust me." SJ gives him a half-cocked smile before putting her mouth guard back in.

"SJ." Mikey groans through gritted teeth but she's turned away from him, making her way to the center of the ring.

The next round ensues and it's almost the exact same dance, but SJ keeps track of how long the rounds are. She can focus on her opponent and she can count a clock. With less than a minute left, she starts throwing punches, catching the bigger and meaner fighter off guard. Her punches are low first and then come up high. She's punching and dodging at the same time, her eyes trained on the opposite fighter. Her vision is tunneled and while the crowd is cheering and surrounding the ring, the only thing she can see is the fighter. She can't hear anything besides her own breathing. She lands another punch to his face, knocking his head back and the crowd erupts, some pissed and others happy but SJ doesn't notice. It's just this.

And SJ wins the round.

She keeps the half-cocked smile as she walks to Mikey, taking out your mouth guard. Her chest heaves as Mikey squirts the cold water into her mouth, Mikey's eyes narrowed at you.

"Here." He mutters, swapping the water out for the rag to wipe the blood and sweat.

She lets him wipe her face again before she leans in to whisper. "I got this. Chill, would ya?"

Mikey shakes his head, teeth locked together in a mixture of annoyance, anger, and worry. "I swear-"

"Trust me." SJ's eyes are soft as she puts her mouth guard back in and goes to take her place for the final round.

The rumbling of voices bounced and echoed down the long cement hallway of the basement of one of Chicago's many nightclubs. Tom's hands went from fists to flat out, stretching his fingers as he followed a man and his best friend to where the yelling was coming from. Tom held his head with confidence, not needing to see or know about his competition. He's good, and he knows he's good. There's a reason he doesn't lose but the stakes have never been this high before.

Tom was lead through the crowd, able to see the ring in the center of the open basement. Two boxers were moving about the ring, one looking steadier than the other. Tom glanced from the ring and to the man, waiting for him to explain how the night would take place.

"One match after this one, and you're up." The man by the name of Arthur says, his attention on Tom.

"No problem." Tom nods, glancing to his friend, Harrison, and back to Arthur.

"Good." Arthur stifles a chuckle. "You win, you make it to the next round.

"Figured that much." Tom remarks.

Arthur shakes his head, displeased with Tom's comment. "Look," Arthur's strong hand grips Tom's shoulder, making him look into the ring. " _She's_  your competition."

Tom's brows furrow and his eyes widen as SJ's glove connects with the side of her opponent's face. She's a girl, he's not supposed to fight someone of a different gender. That's not very fair and as far as it seems, SJ wouldn't even be in the same weight class. Tom's never fought professionally, it's always been underground for him but there were always strict rules on weight and gender roles. But, those were different competitions than this one. This one is grimy with rules maybe a little too lax.

"That's a girl." Tom points out.

"Yes and she's made it to the championship match these past two years. She would have been close her first year but was kicked out the second we got wind of her being under eighteen. Following year, she was caught. You get caught, you're out." Authur's stare moves to Tom, it's hard and warning, making Tom understand it's a threat to him not to make the same mistake. "She came back and she's beat almost everyone she's been put up against, until the final match. This year she's the one to beat and you," Arthur looks back to Tom. "Are going to beat her."

"Don't think that's much fair, do ya?" Tom questions

Arthur shrugs nonchalantly, a voice starting to echo above them counting down the last seconds. "This isn't fair. That's why the money is good and I do believe you're in need of it, are you not?"

Tom's jaw clenches, glancing back to Harrison whose eyes haven't left the ring. "Yeah." Tom answers shortly.

"Good. So, it's simple," Arthur continues just as SJ was declared the winner of her match. "You win, you're off the hook. You lose," Arthur pauses and a sinister smile just barely graces his face. "I  _own_  you."

Trickles of fear run through Tom's blood as he nods. "Got it." Tom says.

"Good." Arthur chuckles, his tone changed to one of cheer and excitement. "Let's get you in one of these rooms and get you ready." Arthur places a hand on Tom's shoulder and leads him back down the long hallway, Harrison walking side-by-side.

Harrison's eyes scan every room they pass, every pipe above them. Tom's distracted with trying to psych himself up for the fight but also not get his ass kicked by Arthur. He's trying not to ruin everything and get himself into more trouble. He needs to listen to whatever Arthur is rambling on about it. It's Harrison's job to look at the building and watch out for whatever he can and he hates the way this place looks.

It looks like a basement that would have been used for the movie Hostile. It's grimy and probably hasn't been cleaned properly since the nightclub above them opened. A few pipes seem to be leaking which Harrison can only hope is just water. Leaking water probably means mold. It's not a good building and given who Arthur is, it only sparks more confusion in Harrison. But, that's not everything that's making him feel uneasy. What if something happens?

In other fights Tom has been in, other competitions, people have been severely injured. People make a run for it while an ambulance is called, if it's that bad. But, looking at where they are and how loud the music above them is, Harrison's best guess is that if something happens, it happens. The person on the ground is just going to hope someone helps them and gets them out of the basement. Tom's been hurt, bad, and so has Harrison when Harrison used to fight, it's unnerving.

"What'd'ya think?" Tom asks, wrapping his hands now that Arthur has left the two to their own for a minute.

"Not a fan." Harrison mumbles.

"Why's that? Fought in worse places."

Harrison shakes his head, his expression pondering. "I dunno. I can't put my finger on it. Seems dangerous."

"Course it does." Tom chuckles. "Always is."

Harrison remains silent, a clear indicator that there's something eating at Harrison's mind. Tom's the talker of the two of them but Harrison tends to speak his mind. He's holding back but based on the curious expression, he's holding back because there really is something just off.

"What?" Tom asks.

"Nothing." Harrison shakes his head. "Just don't lose."

"You got it." Tom smirks, looking back to finishing wrapping his hands.

SJ and Mikey make their way to Matty. Mikey helped SJ clean up the blood from her face and watched the door to make sure no one would come in while she changed back into her street clothes, a pair of black track pants and a hoodie she borrowed from Mikey ages ago. Her bag hung from Mikey's shoulder and Matty pulled SJ in for a hug, congratulating her on the win. But, he was quick tp pull away, wanting to look over her face. SJ rolled her eyes and pulled her face away from his hand.

"Food?" She asks.

"Portillos?" Mikey offers.

"We always go to Portillos." SJ groans.

"What do you suggest then?" Mikey questions.

"We stay here." Matty pipes up, looking to ring behind them.

SJ and Mikey follow his gaze and their eyes land on Tom. His black and red gloves clinging to his fists and his black shorts hanging nicely off his hips. His fists are in front of his face, accentuating his toned arms. Tom's abs are chiseled, even in the horrible lighting and distance, every crevice of his torso is visible. While Tom's hair is messy from the long day, it still seems to lay perfectly, complimenting his face nicely.

"Wipe the drool." Mikey rolls his eyes, staring at his friends.

"Huh?" SJ and Matty sigh simultaneously, looking to Mikey and back to Tom.

"Who's he?" Matty asks.

"Dunno." Mikey says.

"He's cute." Matty says.

"Yeah, that pretty face of his isn't gonna last past this first round." SJ chuckles, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I think he can pull it off." Matty remarks.

SJ sighs, leaning her head on his shoulder. "You only think that because you think he's cute."

"You only think he won't because _you_  think he's cute." Matty retorts.

"True." SJ shakes her head against Matty's shoulder. "Alright, I gotta a five on me."

"Mikey you in?" Matty asks.

"He'll make it past this round but second one he's out." Mikey says, eyes on the ring.

SJ picks her head up and three shake hands on the petty bet. It's something the three of them have done over the few years they've been involved in the league. If they see a boxer the three don't agree on, they bet whatever they have on them which usually is no more than a ten. It's all out of fun and if one of them needs the money back, it's no worries. Betting between the three, while their reasoning is usually something as petty as the way someone looks, it's fun.

They watch the fight take place, SJ watches every move both boxers make knowing she'll likely be against one of them. While she's betting Tom won't make it out of the match, her focus is divided. She's confident but not stupid. It would be dumb not to watch how her potential opponent performs. It's not all about who can hit the hardest, there's a strategy.

"Fuck me." SJ rolls her eyes, seeing Tom's won the first round.

Mikey snorts. "Can I change my bet."

"Nope, might as well pay up now." Matty holds his head up high.

"You shouldn't be able to bet on someone because you think they're cute." SJ remarks, bitterness in her voice already knowing Tom's opponent doesn't stand a chance anymore.

"That's the exact reason you're against him winning." Matty retorts. "Now sh, enjoy the show."

Mikey and SJ look to each other, trying to conceal their laughter. Their eyes go back to Tom and they both observe the way he moves. SJ watches that Tom's light on his feet, similar to her. He waits for his opponent to get tired. He's thin, not super tall. His arms aren't large. It's his stamina that will win his rounds, just like SJ. But, the way he moves around his opponent is almost like it's dance, calculated and drawn out.

Sj shakes her head as Tom wins the second round, declaring him the winner of the match. That's when he sees her. Tom's eyes went from Arthur who was lightly clapping in approval to SJ. He wasn't looking for her, of course. He just happened to be scanning the crowd and his eyes fell on her with her not being surrounded by people. He flashes her a toothless smile, subtle but a smile nonetheless. SJ rolls her eyes and looks to Matty.

"Get you your money at Portillos." SJ says, jerking her head for them to leave.

Tom brushes off SJ's eye roll, knowing he'll see her again and exits the ring, Harrison helping him to the floor. He only got hit good once but it'd likely only leave him with a bruise across his cheek. Tom's relieved to have his first match done and over with. It wasn't that bad, in fact, if he didn't know any better, he'd say it were easy. However, by the way Arthur speaks and given how much money is being spread around for the championship winner, not including side bets, Tom knows this is only getting started. It's going to get worse so he can't get too far ahead of himself. Stay confident but don't get cocky.

"You alright?" Harrison asks.

"All good." Tom nods, the two of them walking towards the hallway, Arthur meeting them.

"You did well, Holland." Arthur says, taking Harrison's place beside him. "Keep that up and you'll have nothing to worry about."

"No problem." Tom says, confidence in his voice.

"We'll see." Arthur says, a sinister tone just coating his words. "I will see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Tom looks up to him, brows knitted with confusion. "We're off tomorrow."

"I'm aware." Arthur chuckles, squeezing Tom's shoulder. "My assistant will text you with address and you'll both meet me there." Arthur's words don't ease Harrison's previous concern and now Tom's excitement from winning is starting to match Harrison's concern. "It's a good thing, dress for a meeting."

Harrison watches Arthur with careful eyes but doesn't say anything. "We'll be there." Tom assures.

Arthur nods to both boys, congratulating Tom for winning once more before he started making his way down a separate hallway, towards an exit. Tom and Harrison exchanged confusion glances but went on their way to the room they were in previously. Harrison handed Tom his bag, Arthur having instructed the boys not to leave their things unguarded, for him to change into clothes while he worked on getting the two an Uber to take them home.

"What do you think he wants tomorrow?" Harrison asks.

"Fuck if I know." Tom shrugs. "Probably another contract."

"Another?" Harrison questions. "What? Neither of us have the money to sue him as is, fuck's he need this much shit for?"

"Why're you asking me, mate?" Tom groans.

"I just don't trust him." Harrison slides his phone back into his pocket.

Tom nods his head to the side slightly. "Sorry."

Harrison nods, pursing his lips. "It's alright."

"Got you into this." Tom says, guilt taking over the uneasiness he felt about Arthur and the excitement he felt for winning.

Harrison squints, a look of 'oops' crossing his face. "Got you into it first."

There's a smirk tugging at Tom's lips as he rests the wrap beside him. "That mean you're admitting this is your fault?"

Harrison scoffs, a laugh following right after. "No, this is your fuck up still."

"Fuck." Tom chuckles, looking to his beaten up knuckles.

"You ready? Could go for some food?"

"Yeah, yeah." Tom nods quickly, tossing a shirt over his head and grabbing his bag, stuffing the two wraps into an open compartment.

The boys make their way from the room, finding the exit. The walk to the front of the building felt nice against Tom's skin, the chilled breeze of the coming fall cooling him down. The music from the nightclub plays behind them as a black SUV pulls up to the curb. Harrison does the talking to make sure it's their Uber while Tom just looks around, something he didn't do much of with having arrived with Arthur.

There are bars across the street with a few other businesses. People in dressed from hoodies and jeans to short skirts and crop tops walked along the sidewalks as if it's all a regular night to them. Friday nights were just people walking to get their alcohol fix or people just trying to get home. And then there's Tom, bit of a different night compared to everyone else.

Harrison signals for Tom and the two get into the car, Harrison asking just to be dropped off at the McDonald's near their apartment complex. They get dropped off not fifteen minutes later and they get their food, allowing their night to proceed. They go home and follow the same routine. Eat, watch whatever they can find, shower, bed. Friday nights weren't anything special.

The next day rolled around and the morning was slow for SJ. She went to her usual job at the diner a few blocks from Mikey and Matty's house. It might have been Saturday, but there are fewer customers today, most likely from the start of the school year and everyone taking their chance to sleep in. Either way, SJ wouldn't dare complain about a slow morning. If only the early evening could be just as pleasant.

"You're looking...." A main, likely in his late forties starts. "Ravishing." He looks SJ up and down as she pours him a cup of coffee.

She puts on her best fake smile. "Thank you."

The man smiles, a bit too warm for SJ's comfort. "Why don't we get out of here?"

"I'm sorry, sir." SJ's words are soft and kind, but her blood is boiling. "I'm working."

"After." The man says. He says it rather than asks and his face is tinting the softest shade of red.

"I'm not interested. I'm sorry." SJ apologizes again, trying to keep her anger from showing.

"I'll pay you." The man releases a chortle, not making his stare on her any less obvious. He's eyeing her like a piece of meat he owns.

"I'm not a prostitute and I'm still not interested. Go to twenty-fifth and green." SJ directs him to a once popular prostitution spot she's passed a thousand times, hoping it'll get him to leave her alone. The spot is now being used to catch men like this guy. She cannot afford to lose this job, not by telling some asshole off.

"I'd rather get you out of that outfit." He reaches out to hook his fingers between the band of her apron around her waist but she dodges her touch.

"Please, don't touch me."

"C'mon." The man almost growls as he reaches out again but his hand is blocked by someone bigger than SJ.

"Get out or I'll kick your ass right here." Mikey demands, arms crossed over his chest as he looks down at the man. SJ rolls her eyes from behind Mikey but doesn't interrupt.

"Hey, I was having a conversation." The man stands up, standing at the same height as Mikey.

"And I'm telling you to shut the fuck up and move on." Mikey gestures for the door and the man huffs.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Does it look like I give a shit? Can't be anyone too fuckin' important to be eatin' here." Mikey remarks while SJ rolls her eyes again, wishing Mikey would just stop talking.

The man mumbles but pushes past Mikey and leaves, likely realizing that Mikey wasn't going to back down and no one else was going to step in. The man didn't stand a chance and he knew it. SJ was already making her way to the counter, resting the warm pot back in its place. Mikey followed her, taking an empty seat.

"You're not really mad, are you?" Mikey groans.

"You don't have to do that shit." SJ mumbles, attending the register.

"You're my friend."

"I know." SJ says, glancing to Mikey and back to the register. "I can handle myself though." Her tone is soft but bored, getting the point across without snapping.

"I know." Mikey chuckles. "Ready? Need to get going."

"Lemme clock out and I'llbe out there." SJ says, moving from the register and starting to remove her apron.

Mikey nods and the two part ways. SJ goes to the back where she clocks out and goes to her locker, retrieving her belongings. With SJ being one of the diner's longest working and best employees and her picking up holiday shifts, she gets lucky and is able to clock out before six on Saturdays. It's a nice trade-off, especially with the given boxing times for the next few months. Working two legal jobs isn't exactly easy but throw in another one that almost no one can know about it, that's just hard. It's trying to explain to bosses why she can't work after a certain time and only on Fridays and Saturdays and only for a few months. It always seems weird but she always bullshits that it's something and they don't question it. It's always better not to question. What they don't know, can't hurt them.

SJ came out from the back, her black and blue backpack clinging to her shoulders. She waves to her manager before exiting the small diner and meeting Mikey who's straddling his motorcycle. SJ lets out a soft laugh as she approaches him.

"Got it running?"

"No bike or car I can't fix. Here." Mikey says with a proud grin, handing SJ a helmet to match the black and blue backpack.

"Black and blue?" SJ quirks a brow.

"It's like your signature." His eyes widen jokingly as he points to her hair. With Matty getting his cosmetology license, he’s been doing her hair. For the moment, she's chosen thin blue streaks to compliment her naturally dark hair.

"Fair." SJ shrugs, putting the helmet on before getting on the bike. Her arms wrap tightly around Mikey's waist before Mikey gets them on their way to the gym.

Meanwhile, Tom and Harrison were seated at a nice restaurant on a different side of the city. This restaurant, in contrast to the diner SJ works at, had black and white accent pieces through the entire place. The tables are black and sleek, clearly made of expensive wood. The chairs are all white and almost so comfortable anyone could fall asleep. White candles decorated every table and recessed lights complimented the all black ceiling. The entire restaurant read modern and expensive.

However, the look and feel of the restaurant didn't ease Tom's or Harrison's nerves. They've met with Arthur two other times for dinner or a lunch or a breakfast. Once was for Tom to borrow money and the other was to sort out the boxing agreement when Tom couldn't pay Arthur back. Both of those meetings weren't exactly good so it's only right that the two of them have their guard up. But, what really has them suspicious is the two other men sitting with them. They're dressed in black and navy suits, both in their fifties and looking very similar to Arthur. Business.

"These are the two I was telling you about." Arthur says to the men, gesturing to Tom and Harrison.

"Arthur's spoke highly of the both of you. You've seemed to be doing his company quite well where you stand." One of men compliment.

"We're just doing our jobs, sir." Tom says, nodding his head.

"Richard." The man corrects him. "What exactly are the both of you doing right now?"

"We're just doing the filing and keeping everything organized," Harrison explains.

The other man chuckles, looking to Arthur. "They're more like your assistants."

Arthur shrugs. "I couldn't have them be out doing the real business just yet."

"Mmm," Richard hums, eyeing Tom and catching glimpses of a bruise decorating his cheek. "Understandable."

Tom's brows furrow but he quickly relaxes his face, choosing not to pay much attention to the man's words. There's something eating at the pit of Tom's stomach. Of course, when him and Harrison took up the job with Arthur, both of them didn't have a good feeling about him. There always seemed to be something off, not quite right but it was a job and a nice one, it's one that could lead them to a life of success and good fortune if they play their cards right. But, now, sitting with these other men, Tom is questioning if he ever had any cards to play.

"Well, we'll be in touch." The man Tom and Harrison never caught the name of says while he shakes Arthur's hand.

"I look forward to your call." Arthur says, shaking Richard's hand. Arthur, Tom, and Harrison watch the two men leave before any of them start talking. "They're investors."

"Why did you have us meet with you and two investors?" Tom asks.

"You'll find out." Arthur answers, sending Tom a quick glare. "Now, you're both going home to change. There's a car out front for you and you're going to this gym." Arthur hands Tom a piece of paper with an address and information on the gym.

"We have a gym." Harrison says.

"You have a new one." Arthur says. "I will know if you go or not so don't try anything stupid, understand?" Arthur warns, his green eyes darkening with venom.

"Yeah." Tom says, with a single nod. Arthur looks to Harrison and Harrison nods in agreement.

"I'll see you both tonight, then." Arthur says.

"Alright." Tom says and him and Harrison get up to leave.

They make their way outside where, just as Arthur had said, there is a car waiting for them. They get in and without instruction, they're brought to their apartment complex. The ride was quiet, Tom and Harrison not wanting to speak inside one of Arthur's vehicles. Arthur might have told Tom that if he loses, he'll own Tom but if Tom didn't know any better, he'd say he was already owned. Arthur is demanding he train at a gym without a second thought, Tom has to compete in this competition, he needs to meet for dinner with men he isn't aware of and still work for Arthur. Harrison has to come with. It feels like Tom is already being owned and it's filling him with anxiety but also more determination to win and get the fuck away from whatever this is.

They quickly got changed from the dress attire and got their things ready. While Tom and Harrison were set to make their way to the new gym, SJ was at the gym, helping Mikey. They moved around the ring, SJ had the punching mitts on her hands while Mikey was throwing the punches. Beads of sweat dripped down his face and his breathing labored. Soft grunts fell from Mikey's mouth as SJ lead them about the ring.

"Breathing a bit heavy, Mikey." Matty chortles as he walks up to the ring.

"Fuck off, Mat." Mikey grunts as he punches SJ's mitt.

"He's not wrong." SJ chuckles before Mikey lands another punch.

"Fuck off." Mikey grits his teeth.

"Well, come on then." SJ taunts. "Put some fuckin' muscle in your punches then. I could punch harder than this when I was ten." Mikey throws another punch, SJ winces with the hit. "Okay, ow."

Mikey smirks, continuing his hits until they're once again interrupted.

"SJ, Mikey." A voice pulls their attention. SJ's second boss, Maurice, grabs their attention as he's walking up to them, two people with him and one looking far too familiar. "Like you to meet two new members." He gestures to Harrison and Tom.

SJ could almost feel her head explode with the sight of Tom. She doesn't interact with any other boxer. Most of them don't and none of them train at this gym. It's part of why she picked this gym to apply for a job. Free membership and it distances herself from her competition but now, she's face-to-face with someone she knows is going to be a pain in her ass to beat.

_Oh, fuck me._


	3. kindling

The few feet of space between everyone becomes stiff as they glance at each other. Matty might as well have a bowl of popcorn to watch everything unfold. He knows SJ can't stand to interact with other boxers and it looks like she'll have to at least be around Tom fairly often. Matty wants SJ to win and keep her head on straight but he can't help but find amusement in SJ's luck.

Mikey doesn't know how to react. He doesn't want Tom anywhere near SJ. Mikey's seen enough boxers and trained with SJ long enough to know he's gonna be hell to beat. Tom being in the same gym might distract her and then there's Harrison. Harrison knows Tom too well and he doesn't want Tom near SJ for the same reasons Mikey doesn't want them around each other.

But, of course, there's Tom. His eyes are a bit wide, not fully expecting to actually run into anyone from the club's basement. Chicago is a big city. What are the odds Arthur would pick this gym, the one SJ trains and works at, for him and Harrison to attend? Not as small as Tom would like. That said, Tom isn't pissed or worried when he sees SJ. He's pleased because to say he didn't want to talk to her, would be a lie. She's exactly his type and he's all for playing with fire.

"SJ, Mikey, this is Harrison and Tom." Maurice gestures to the blond and brunette. "And Matthew." Maurice nods to Matty who gives Tom and Harrison a wide smile and a short wave.

"Nice to meet you." Tom says first moving to the ropes of the ring to shake SJ and Mikey's hands.

Mikey shakes first but SJ narrows her eyes while removing the boxing mits. Her mouth is pressed into a hard line and her teeth grit together in pure annoyance. Tom gains the softest touch of a cocky with the look on SJ's face. It's the one he's received before, the one that says he's real competition. Sure, he saw her fight her first match of the season so he knows she's going to be hard to beat if she lasts that long but he can beat her. So, his hand remains extended and SJ steps forward, shaking it once and pulling her hands back before crossing her arms.

"You, too." SJ mutters.

"You a trainer here?" Tom gestures to the boxing mitts.

SJ scoffs shaking her head. "No."

Tom raises his brows, waiting for more of explanation but SJ just blinks, not wanting to talk to him. Tom sighs and the smile falls. It's not that he thinks he's irresistible or anything like that, but he's not done anything to SJ and she doesn't seem to care for him. He'd be lucky if she gave him the time of day and by the harsh glare on her face, he's lucky she said anything to him at all.

"SJ helps with our computers and machines, mostly." Maurice explains.

Tom quirks a brow. "You do?"

"Someone has to do it." SJ quips.

Tom nods, not wanting to piss her off more he clearly already has. Maurice shakes his head, not surprised by SJ's coldness.

"Don't mind SJ. You get used to her." Maurice says.

"Hey, I'm nice when I'm working." SJ says as she exits the ring, Mikey following right after.

"Are you?" Maurice squints but there's a smile on his lips.

SJ laughs softly nodding her head and licking her lips. "Usually!"

"Exactly." Maurice says, joking smile still on display. "Well, I'm gonna give them the rest of the tour but Tom's told me they're both boxers so I figured you would like to meet them." Maurice explains.

"I'm good with Mikey, but thanks."

"You sure?" Maurice points to a bruise near her jaw.

Maurice is always onto SJ. He doesn't think she's into the underground competition but that's only because he thinks she's too smart for it. SJ can get herself into plenty of trouble and always has but she's always been able to get herself out of it. According to Maurice, SJ couldn't have gotten into anything bad enough to end up in an underground league. She's just too smart for it, on the surface. But, he does have his suspicion of her fighting somewhere that isn't legal. She comes in with random bruises far too often and Mikey isn't one to just rough her up for training. But, Maurice isn't stupid and doesn't ask many questions.

"Mhm." SJ hums.

"We were headed out anyway." Mikey says, unwrapping his hands after exiting the ring.

"Uber should be here soon." Matty says, putting his phone into his pocket.

"We'll leave you then." Maurice says but Tom doesn't start walking.

"Can I have a minute?" Tom asks, eyes on SJ.

"No." She says but Mikey nudges her.

"We'll be outside." Mikey says, gesturing to Matty. SJ's eyes go wide and her jaw clenches in frustration but she keeps silent, not wanting to cause a scene.

"Yeah, outside." Matty scoffs, nodding to Tom. "It was nice meeting you."

"Let's go." Mikey throws his bag over his shoulder and his hands on Matty's shoulders, pushing him towards the door. "Let her tell him off." He whispers to Matty as the two leave.

Maurice and Harrison leave SJ and Tom to themselves. SJ stays silent, putting her things back into her bag and tossing the same black hoodie that was originally Mikey's over her head. She reaches for the rubber band holding her hair up and tugs it loose, allowing her hair to fall messily past her shoulders. Tom's brows furrow when he catches glimpses of the blue stripes in her hair, something he didn't notice with her hair pulled back. She's sweaty, no makeup, bags under her eyes, but Tom is looking at her a little bit in awe.

"What're you doing here?" SJ breaks the silence, annoyance laced in the word.

"What?" Tom asks and SJ doesn't even have to look at him to know his expression has confused written all over it.

"People who do what you do, only do it when they need the money. If you're here, you don't need the money that bad." SJ's voice is a harsh whisper, wanting to know exactly why Tom is at this gym.

"My boss recommended it." Tom shrugs as if it were nothing.

SJ loses the harsh expression and her brows furrow. "Boss?"

"Yeah, why?"

SJ remembers two other times a boxer has shown up at this gym and she knows how they got there. There are cheaper gyms to train at and this one isn't one of them. The boss always seemed to be in on the underground league. She knows who the guy is and what he's about. It seems the only people who don't know are those that get involved with him. Maybe they never know because they're blinded by the luxuries or maybe they don't know because they're not usually from the city. If they are from the city, they don't travel in the grimy circles that would allow them to hear the rumors. But, then again, it is all just rumors.

"Have fun with that." SJ remarks.

"What's that mean?" Tom asks.

"You'll see, I'm sure." SJ says, her backpack now clung around her shoulders. "Now what'd you want? I've got shit I need to do."

Tom has more questions but given SJ's attitude, he's not going to badger her. "Well, was thinkin'," Tom starts, rubbing the back of his neck. "Since we're both...boxers..." Tom uses the word carefully. "Maybe we could hang out, ya know?"

SJ laughs and quickly shakes her head. "Not even in your dreams."

"Why not?" Tom asks, genuine curiosity across his face.

"I don't hang out with competition, Pretty Boy." SJ grins and goes to turn around.

"But you think I'm pretty." Tom challenges, keeping his stance.

SJ faces him and if he were anyone else, she would take that. She would take it and nod to it, then agree to have dinner or lunch or just catch a movie but, he's him. Her competition who she can't allow to get inside her head.

"It's not a compliment." She says.

"I think you're pretty." Tom says softly.

"You should." SJ smirks before starting for the door.

"That's it?" Tom asks and there's an amused smile on his face.

SJ bites back her smile but keeps her back to him, holding her hand up as a motionless wave. He's cute and charming. There's a cockiness to his voice and words but it's not over the top. There's a gentleness and sincerity. SJ's making the right choice to leave him in the gym and not let him speak or hear him out for another second. He will, without a doubt, distract her from her goal.

SJ meets the boys outside, an Uber ready for Matty and SJ while Mikey had his bike.

"To the house and we'll go from there?" Mikey asks when he sees SJ.

"Yep." She nods once and her and Matty get into the Uber, allowing Mikey to head out first.

Meanwhile, Tom catches up with Maurice and Harrison, the two of them signing up Tom and Harrison for membership by the register. Tom doesn't interrupt, knowing Harrison can handle everything and he doesn't want to be rude. So, while he waits, he can't help but question what SJ had said. She told him to have fun with his boss. There isn't a way she could know who his boss even is, at least, not that Tom knows. The way she spoke of needing money suggests she's never even worked for him. Yet, SJ still seems to know something Tom doesn't. It's all a bit weird and it's leaving Tom completely lost.

"We're set." Harrison hands Tom a small card. Tom takes the card and pulls out his wallet, placing the card inside. "She turn you down?" Harrison chuckles.

"Yeah," Tom shrugs a shoulder. "But she sais something 'bout having fun with Arthur recommending this gym."

"So?" Harrison asks, stuffing his hands in his jeans pockets.

"Weird, I guess."

"Don't go digging into whatever conspiracy theories you're thinking. You've a match to win, tonight." Harrison jokes as the two head for the exit.

"'Course." Tom remarks with a scoff before his phone goes off. "'S Arthur, says there'll be a car to pick us up."

"Better get back then." Harrison says and the two start the short walk to Tom's and Harrison's apartment.

With their apartment not too far, Tom had started to brush off Arthur telling them to go to this gym. He brushed off every strange and terrible thought that crossed his mind assuming that maybe Arthur was just being nice and allowing them to attend a closer gym, recommending it. It made sense but now it's going to bother him.

"Dude," Harrison catches Tom lost in his head. "Don't let her get into your head. She's hot and shit but so what? Plenty of other girls and she's probably fuckin' with you to get in your head."

"Yeah, yeah." Tom nods quickly, brows knitting together. "I know. It just caught me off guard."

"Right." Harrison rolls his eyes. "Seriously, don't bother fucking with her."

"She's not interested anyway." Tom laughs. "Think she might be with...what's his name? Mikey?"

Harrison shrugs. "Probably. So, forget her and focus tonight, please?"

"Yeah." Tom gives Harrison his infamous cocky grin, one that shows his determination and willingness to win.

Tom and Harrison make their way to their apartment and get their things together, Tom changed from his street clothes and into athletic clothing. Harrison helped pack up Tom's boxing stuff for him and before they know it, there's a car pulling up for them and it's show time.

Already in the club's basement was SJ with Matty and Mikey, the three of them getting ready just as they were the night before. Matty is playing the usual music and Mikey is wrapping SJ's hands. SJ is focused but tired from her day of working at the diner. She stretches her neck, her neck cracking in the process. Her shoulders roll and crack.

"You alright, Rocket?" Mikey asks.

"Fuckn' exhausted." Sj sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Hey," SJ starts before Mikey could start on his reassures spiel. "What happened to the other two boxers that went to our gym? The ones that were there like two weeks?" 

Mikey shrugs, giving SJ a knowing look. "What do you think?"

"That's what I was thinking."

"Why?" Matty asks.

"Tom said his boss recommended the gym." SJ confesses.

"Okay? So?" Matty says.

Mikey turns to face Matty, shaking his head before looking back to SJ. "You think he's that stupid?"

"I don't think he knows and I don't know for sure."

"Why do you care who his boss?" Matty pushes.

"The more I can know about him, the better my chances." SJ mumbles. "I gotta know who has got him here in order to know his technique and strategy. Look for him in the crowd. We'll stay for the fight with Tom and look for him."

"Got it. If I see him?" Mikey asks.

Sj shrugs a shoulder before standing up. "I don't know." SJ closes and opens her hands. "Ready?" She asks and the boys stand up.

"Are you?" Mikey asks.

"Always." She nods once and gives him a confident smile.

"Go get 'em, Rocket." Mikey chuckles, grabbing SJ's gloves for her.

SJ, Mikey, and Matty walk out into the grimy and cold hallway, making their way to the center of the basement. The crowd is just as big as it was the night prior. Just as loud, just as rowdy. It's still a little nervewracking but it's also an adrenaline rush. SJ thrives on it and she's going to win. Her eyes are set on winning the second Mikey helps her into the ring. She wins and that's it.

While SJ was taking the ring, Tom, Harrison, and Arthur were seated front row of the makeshift seating arrangement. Tom's fight, just like the night before, is after the fight after SJ's so he has time to watch SJ and Arthur seems keen on him watching her.

Tom feels uneasy sitting on one of the side of Arthur while Harrison is on the other. Harrison is right, Tom shouldn't be hung up on something SJ said because  _Tom doesn't know her_. All he knows is that she can throw a punch and handle herself inside of a ring. That's it. She could very well be the cruelest person to ever exist on the face of the planet and she  **could**  just be fucking with him but, her words are in the back of his head. She's either a good actress or she really is onto something.

The round proceeds and Tom's elbows are rested on his knees, one hand over the other as he watches. He might be attracted to her and he might just want to watch to watch, but he's going to also use it to his advantage. He's going to watch and try and see if she has a pattern to how she fights. If he has to fight her, he might as well try and get one step ahead of her.

Arthur notices Tom's stare and it doesn't sit too well, especially when SJ wins the first round and he sees Tom's face lift with a smile. The last thing Arthur needs is Tom getting distracted and happy that someone won. Every single person that wins is just another obstacle for Tom to face later on. Arthur is not happy and he glances to Harrison who looks for more uneasy than Tom and that's when Arthur knows how to get to Tom.

The next round proceeds and SJ gets hit hard in the ribs, immediately followed with a hit to her face. Tom winces as he watches the blows and SJ stumbling to regain her footing. His focus is fully on her, so much so that he doesn't notice Arthur gauging Tom's reactions to everything SJ does.

However, Arthur's anger only intensifies when SJ manages to regain her footing and pull herself together, winning the round. She's declared the winner of her second match and Tom's gained a telling smile. His eyes are bit brighter and it's as if he's proud of her. And he is but it's not exactly just pride, Tom is simply impressed with SJ's ability to just regain and hold her focus to win. To hold out and just win as if she's been doing it her entire life, like she's meant to be inside of a ring. She might be viewed as an underdog as the only girl in the entire competition and she's small, but she's no one to fuck with and she will prove it. Arthur doesn't want her to prove it to Tom and he's pissed that Tom might let her if he doesn't pry his eyes from her.

Arthur leans in to whisper to Harrison. "IF he fucks up, it's your ass on the line as well. Remember that, Osterfield."

Harrison's blood runs cold and he gulps with Arthur's words, almost certainly confirming Harrison's fear. "Understood, sir." Harrison says clearly but quietly.

"Good." Arthur rests a hand on Harrison's shoulder, squeezing it a bit too tight. "Time to get ready, Holland." Arthur releases Harrison's shoulder, turning to Tom.

Tom wipes the smile from his face as if he knew it'd be bad if Arthur noticed. It's a shame Tom didn't notice before Arthur did. Had he, the ice wouldn't be thinning and the stakes wouldn't be rising but Arthur chooses not to tell Tom what he's in for right now. It would only distract him. Arthur is a man who waits for just the right time to relay information and to use it t his own advantage. Threatening Tom would do no one any good at this exact point.

SJ exits the ring with the help of Mikey. Matty is quick to approach them, grabbing the towel Mikey had for her and putting it to her bleeding nose. The three of them walk back to the room SJ had gotten ready in. There's a terrible ache in SJ's ribs, an ache she knows she'll have for at least a few days and an ache she knows will end up a giant bruise. She has an arm crossed over her stomach and her hand holding her side while her other hand is holding the now bloody towel to her face. It's only the second fight and she's already tired and hurt. This year is going to be literal hell and all she can think is that it better be worth it.

SJ takes a seat in the room and Matty is quick to pull his backpack from his back and pull out of a first-aid kit. SJ shakes her head slightly, smiling at Matty. He's always been the mom friend, first-aid kit on hand at all times and he always has a little extra cash just in case someone needs it. He's the friend that makes sure SJ and Mikey are drinking enough water. Matty can be quite the lifesaver.

"You see him?" SJ asks, pulling the rag from her nose to let Matty get a look.

Mikey shakes his head. "No, I was a little busy watching you get your ass handed to you that second round. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." SJ groans while Matty presses against her nose to make sure it's not broken.

"Not broken." Matty says, pulling SJ's hand back to her nose before digging in te kit. He starts cracking a little blue pack and hands it to SJ. "Here, put it on the bridge of your nose."

"Who carries icepacks with them?" Mikey questions.

"I do, obviously." Matty snarks. "Ribs?"

"Hurt like a bitch." SJ mumbles.

Matty presses against her bare skin, his fingers brushing over old bruises. SJ flinches for a second but just a second.

"Good, I think." Matty says. "Now, take this gauze." Matty hands her some gauze to replace the towel. "It should stop bleeding soon."

"Good because we have to watch Tom's fight." SJ says, swapping out the bloody towel.

"You sure? You can get some rest, ya know." Mikey crosses his arms over his chest.

"You have to look for Romano and I need to figure out what Tom's rhythm and method is. Watching one fight isn't going to help." Her words are slightly muffled with her hand blocking her mouth.

Matty and Mikey share concerned expressions but Mikey nods. "Alright, yeah." He runs a hand through his hair and SJ rolls her eyes.

"I have the rest of the week to relax and rest anyway. You need to relax."

"I need to relax?" Mikey raises his voice. "I'll relax when you start using that genius brain of yours instead of your fucking fists."

"Would you fuck off with the genius bullshit? I am using my brain. That's how this works. If you don't like it, fuckin' leave, Mikey!" SJ stands up, gesturing her hand with the icepack toward the door.

Mikey sucks on his teeth, clearly holding back from whatever he wants to say. "Don't get yourself killed. I'll meet you out there." Mikey mutters as he heads for the door, slamming it shut behind him.

SJ huffs as she plops back down, readjusting the gauze to see if her nose has nearly stopped bleeding. Matty is still crouched on the floor, his eyes showing his disapproval for her outburst. Matty wants everyone to get along but he agrees with Mikey. SJ is too smart to be here but she is. There are other ways but she's too stubborn and paranoid to look at it from a different angle. She should have looked at her situation from a different angle years ago.

"He just gives a shit about you." Matty says softly. "We both do."

"I know." SJ says.

"It's just your first time getting hurt this year, just like last time. Let him calm down and don't push him, okay?"

SJ nods, handing him the icepack back. "He just bugs me, sometimes. I love him but he bugs me."

Matty laughs. "Everyone bugs you."

"People suck." SJ laughs, taking the gauze from her nose.

"Not everyone." Matty says, taking the gauze from her hand and tossing it the trash as he gets up.

SJ nods but only slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

Matty takes out his small bottle of hand sanitizer that smells like vanilla and gives SJ a drop before squirting some into his hands. "Come on. We should get out there." Matty digs through SJ's bag and hands her the hoodie. SJ tosses it over her head while Matty carries her backpack. "You should take it easy this week though." Matty says as they leave the room.

"Yeah, yeah, okay,  _Mom_." SJ quips, just barely nudging Matty's shoulder with hers.

They make their way through the hallway and to the ring. They glance around until they find Mikey. Mikey isn't one to stay too mad for too long, especially when it comes to SJ. They've been friends forever and she knows how to push his buttons better than anyone but he can never stay mad at her. He'll always have a soft spot for her.

"Nose feel better?" Mikey asks as SJ stands next to him.

"A bit." She says, allowing a soft smile to tug at her lips. "Sorry."

"Yeah, me, too." Mikey wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her in for a side hug. "Haven't seen him." Mikey states, releasing SJ.

"No?" SJ asks, looking up to Mikey.

"Nope. Not yet anyway."

"Well," SJ starts as she looks towards the ring, Tom now going under the ropes and Harrison standing in his corner. "Pretty Boy's just entered the ring so maybe he'll turn up."

"You watch Tom and I'll watch out for Romano." Mikey says, looking around the basement in a search of a man who might look slightly out of place or a man who will look too focused on the brunette standing in the ring.

The group of three watches the fight and around the entire basement. SJ keeps her focus on Tom, trying to figure out his pattern. What she's learned from fighting is that everyone has a rhythm, a pattern to how they fight. They take their swings when they can, obviously, but they all move a specific way. If she can figure out exactly how Tom moves around a ring, she can outsmart him and win when she has to go against him. If SJ can stay one step ahead of him, she'll be able to lay him out in seconds. At least, that's what she thought.

Tom wins the first round, not even taking a single hit. SJ's confidence falters for a second. She's standing in the grimy, dirty basement with terrible lighting and molding ceilings injured and Tom's standing perfectly fine with an easy win. So far, she's underestimated him and when she thinks she can figure out how to beat him, he throws her off guard. If everything she loves wasn't on the line, she'd actually find it endearing and impressive but now, now it's just worrisome.

The next round moves on and Tom takes a hit to the ribs but he doesn't even budge. He moves out of the way and then takes his shot. His arms are flexed, veins showing, and his abs become defined as he swings, fist connecting with his opponent's ribcage and then face. With those two punches, Tom doesn't lighten up. His opponent isn't sturdy so Tom just goes for it. Punch after punch Tom hits, breathing heavy and soft grunts fall from his lips. SJ watches in a state of silent fascination.

"SJ..." Matty whispers. "Can I think that's hot?"

"So hot." SJ mumbles, glancing to Matty who just smirks. "I hate him."

Matty almost laughs at SJ's words. Mikey overhears them and rolls his eyes but there's a smile coming to his face, amused that two are both watching the fight and finding Tom attractive. He expects nothing less from the two but it still makes him smile.

In just a few more seconds, Tom is declared the winner. SJ nods a few times, when Tom's eyes fall on hers. She doesn't want anything to do with him....well, not right now but she can nod to him. He gives her the smallest smile but it's one that shows his thanks and pride. But the moment of SJ looking not annoyed with Tom only lasts a few seconds before she feels her phone vibrate in her hoodie pocket. When she pulls it out, a sense of panic runs through her.

"Travis, be back." She mutters quickly before making her way out of the crowd and to the nearest exit.

Tom watches her leave before he exits the ring. He notices Mikey and Matty not following her and while she actually hasn't been anything but rude to him, he questions it a bit. But, he has to brush it off as Harrison congratulates him on the win and the two meet up with Arthur.

"Well done." Arthur says.

"Thank you." Tom says.

"You seemed focused up there tonight, much better than last night." Arthur continues as they make their way to the room.

"Just tryin' to win." Tom states.

"Keep at it then." Arthur says and his tone is harsh, stern even compared to the uplifting one he had the night before when he was congratulating Tom on winning. "I will see you both on Monday." Arthur nods to Harrison and Tom before he leaves them.

Harrison opens his mouth to speak but Tom beats him to it. "Aye, I'm gonna go-"

"No." Harrison shakes his head. "Whatever you're gonna say, no." Arthur’s words reply in Harrison’s head.

"Come on, she took some hard hits and her friends stayed."

It takes everything in Harrison not physically explode from Tom's sentence. "Dude, no."

"It's fine. I'm just making sure she's alright." Tom grabs his bag from Harrison, digging through it and grabbing his hoodie.

Harrison rubs his hand over his face. "Just make it quit, ya? I wanna get home." Harrison knows there’s no convincing Tom and he can’t state his worry for what Arthur said with people around. It doesn’t feel safe.

"Gimme five minutes." Tom says, handing his bag back to Harrison.

"Yeah." Harrison sighs, gesturing his hand out for Tom to leave.

Tom doesn't waste any more time before making his way back into the center of the basement. He moves around the crowd of chairs and standing people until he reaches the exit he saw SJ use. The door creaks open and Tom steps out into the chilly air. He looks around and he spots SJ slouched against the wall with her legs pulled up and her forearms resting on her knees. She's gripping her phone while her head is hung.

"Hey." Tom says, pulling SJ's attention.

She looks at him and Tom gets a little closer look at her face, the damage from the fight that night. There's a bruise already forming around her eye. But, she doesn't look too upset which Tom finds relief in. With her posture, he expected to find her eyes puffy and red but they're not. They're cold, just as they have been towards him. Her mouth is pressed into a hard line and she looks ready to snap at him for even daring to approach her.

Tom expects her to tell him to leave her alone but he takes a few steps forward anyway and she says nothing, she just watches him. His steps become more hesitant as he closes the distance between them, unsure of why she's not telling him to leave her alone. She should, most people would in his opinion. But she doesn't. She's just completely silent but visibly pissed off which is further proof Tom's got a thing for everything dangerous.

Tom leans against the wall and slides down it, keeping a distance of about a foot between them. SJ watches him, eyebrow raised in a sense of surprise and curiosity. Her friends leave her alone but Tom doesn't and while she wants to tell him to go fuck himself, she's curious to know why he followed her. Most guys don't come back when they're rejected but Tom is now sitting on the cold asphalt beside her. SJ isn't sure if he's just a genuine person who cares about random people or if he just likes to make bad choices but either way, she'll let her curiosity win this time and let him explain why he's out here with her.

Tom's not the only one with a habit of playing with fire.


	4. hold your breath

Tom is almost visibly holding his breath. He's just waiting for SJ to say something snarky, pushy him away from her just something but she does nothing. She says nothing. The only sounds surrounding them were those of the city and club. Tom barely knows her name, and by barely, he doesn't even know what the hell her name stands for so it really isn't his wisest decision to be sitting outside in the middle of the night with his competition. 

He shouldn't be doing it because he doesn't know what she'll do or say, or worse, what Arthur will do or say if he sees them. Arthur hasn't said anything about Tom getting to know other boxers or dating or messing around with people but by the man's demeanor and strictness on where Tom can even train, Tom can bet Arthur wouldn't be happy.

So why is he even bothering?

"Hey." Tom finally breaks the silence.

SJ looks away from him, leaning her head against the brick wall. "Hey."

"You alright?" Tom asks and SJ swears his accent is stronger than it was earlier.

She looks to him and he looks tired. Damp hair, curls popping from under his hood, blue and yellow decorating his face, and traces of blood stains near his nose.  _He looks tired._

"I'm fine." SJ says, looking away from him.

"Are you sure? You can-"

"What?" SJ scoffs. "Tell you about whatever may or may not be wrong?"

SJ's quick response and suddenly snappy tone catches him off guard. "Well...yeah. If you wanted."

"Competition." SJ mumbles. "Wouldn't tell you anyway, how I am, just for the record."

Tom sighs. "Why's it matter that we're competition?"

SJ resituates, crossing her legs and looking Tom up and down. "Underarmor hoodie, what're those? Hunder'd dollar NIKE's, right?" Tom looks down to his shoes with her words before she continues. "Your hair still lays pretty nice which means you probably use decent product. That means you're in the beauty industry which is doubtful or you spend some nice money on it. American Crew? Woody's? Big Sexy? Those are at least the professional ones that aren't insanely expensive. Your pants look to be brand new, three strips, Adidas, right? Your accent is still incredibly thick which means you probably haven't lived here very long."

"Okay." Tom shakes his head, a knot forming in his stomach as he senses where she's headed with this, looking over her own attire.

A plain black hoodie that's clearly a bit faded and a little too big, track pants with a few paint stains and a brand logo Tom doesn't recognize. Her hair has the blue stripes but he's not sure the cost. Her nails aren't done and maybe that's just because it'd be hard to keep up with her boxing or maybe she can't afford to have them done. She has on a pair of NIKEs but they look like she's been wearing them for years. Their financial standpoints are very different.

"You can afford to lose. I can't. You can afford to maybe get distracted. I can't. You're cute. I'm not stupid."

Tom wants to argue with her but, truthfully, he can't because she makes a good point. He grew up with money. He did have a trust fund. He blew nearly every single penny but he still has a job. Arthur doesn't take the money from his paychecks because of taxes but he definitely has Tom pay him back some of the money later. He leaves Tom with enough to live comfortably. FRom what Tom knows, SJ has to work two jobs and if she's here, she's barely making it. He doesn't want to lose because he's afraid of what Arthur has planned but if it weren't for Arthur, Tom could afford to live without this money. And that's just what SJ is willing to tell him.

"I'm sorry." Tom apologizes, his voice soft and genuine.

"You're sorry?" SJ asks, clearly taken aback. She's never heard of anyone apologizing for having money.

"I can't afford to lose but not for money reasons, you're right. I should have thought it through."

SJ's face contorts as she looks over his facial features. Why was he being nice? Apologizing for something SJ knows he can't actually control much of? Something she knows damn well she's just bitter about? Maybe he's got it a little harder than she thought.

"Are you just saying that to get me to like you?" SJ asks, voice a little airy and amused.

"Depends," Tom says, a playful smile coming to his face. "Is it working?"

"No." SJ laughs, shaking her head but her eyes are soft when she looks at him. "You're endearing but no, it's not working."

"I'm going to make it hard for you not to like me." Tom remarks, smile dangling at the corner of his lips.

SJ was going to respond but her attention was pulled to a man dressed in a black suit. Her eyes went wide like a deer in headlights as her mouth fell open at the sight of the man. They were looking for the wrong person.

"Uh...Mr. St. Claire." SJ says, glancing between him and Tom.

"Witter." Arthur says flatly.

"You're right," SJ whispers to Tom as she goes to get up. "You can't afford to lose."

The banter is fun and for a second, SJ was thinking that she could play into Tom's game a little. She could use her own charm, maybe convince him that he'll have next year. LEt her have this year. Of course, SJ wants to win because she's the best but this isn't to win some medal to show off to everyone. It's blood money. She will lie, cheat, steal, and scam if that's what it takes and if batting her eyelashes would get Tom to let her win, she'd be all for it. But, now that she really knows who Tom is working for, her intelligence and experience won't let her do that. She'll find another way that doesn't involve her asking. It'd be a waste of breath.

Tom watches her get to her feet, expression changing to one of uncertainty. How the hell would she know who Arthur is? And what fuck does she mean? Tom is finding himself with more questions the longer he talks to SJ and he's only talked to her twice. He racks his brain for any type of clue or answer but he's coming up blank. She makes no sense. A walking Rubix cube.

"What's that-"

"I gotta dip, Pretty Boy." SJ sighs giving him an apathetic look before walking back to the front of the building where she's hoping Mikey and Matty will be waiting for her.

Tom gets to his feet, feeling all the more confused but his expression quickly changes when he starts approaching Arthur. Arthur looks like he's about to have an aneurysm which cannot be good on Tom's end.

"What the fuck was that?" Arthur says and his voice is scarily quiet given the death-like-glare he's giving Tom.

"Was just talkin' to her." Tom shrugs nonchalantly.

The corner of Arthur's lips curl into something only reeking of sinister intent. He grips the fabric of Tom's hoodie on his shoulder, pulling him with him as they walk. "You do nothing without my say. You speak to no one from here without my say. Do you understand?"

If Tom could bite his tongue, he would have nodded along but, Tom's a fighter.

"Why would you send Haz and me to the same gym, then?" Tom snarks.

Without a word, Tom is thrown into the wall, passersby ignoring the scene while Tom hisses in pain. "To observe her you insufferable, moron."

"I'm not a moron." Tom grits his teeth, his jaw squaring and nostrils flaring.

Arthur huffs, letting out a dry chuckle. "Morons get themselves into debt. That's you, Holland." Tom looks away, gathering that maybe it's best he just shuts his mouth for once. "Now, what did she say?"

"Nothing." Tom says dryly.

Arthur smiles before gripping Tom's hoodie and slamming him against the wall once more. " ** _What did she say_**? I'm not asking again."

"Fuck." Tom groans, head starting to throb. "Nothing." Tom insists and for the life of him, he doesn't know why in the moment. "She doesn't wanna fuckin' talk to me. Was just asking if she was alright."

Arthur releases his grip, Tom slouching slightly. "Did you tell her anything?"

Tom's brows pull together in a state of wondering. "Tell her anything about what?"

"Stay away from her. You observe her and that is it unless I tell you otherwise. Understand?" Arthur points his long, chubby finger in Tom's face.

"Yeah, got it." Tom says, a mix of emotions falling into his voice.

"Good boy." Arthur pats the side of Tom's face making Tom's skin crawl with the two words that leave Arthur's mouth. "I'll see in the office on Monday."

Tom nods and watches as Arthur leaves him to himself. He takes in a few deep breaths, allowing the wall to support his weight. No one has ever stared Tom down like the way Arthur had. Tom was almost certain Arthur was ready to start beating the hell out of him for a second, or worse. Arthur, while a nice looking man who seems to be well put together and even kind to those who don't know better, is horrifying. Tom never realized just how horrifying until just now. He's gotten himself in too deep but there's nothing he can do. It's too late to turn back and his stomach turns with the thought. What is Arthur going to do with Tom if he loses?

Tom goes to push off the wall as his name is being called. Harrison moves to him, look of worry consuming his face knowing Tom didn't get hit too hard. He places a hand on Tom's shoulder but Tom brushes him off.

"You alright?" Harrison asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Tom says as he starts walking.

"Tom," Harrison catches up. "What'd she say? What's she  _do_?"

"She didn't say or do anything, Haz." Tom says, stuffing both hands into the front of his pocket. "Just another boxer, 's fine." Tom shrugs it off, lightly nudging Harrison with his shoulder.

Tom tells Harrison everything. It's part of what keeps them close. Tom tells him everything and Harrison tells Tom everything. It's how they've always worked but, after Tom started getting mixed in with the wrong people, he would hold off on telling Harrison certain details, as Harrison did with him when Harrison was in a similar position. What either of them doesn't know, can't hurt them. Harrison already has his reservations with Arthur and Arthur getting angry enough to slam Tom against a wall, there's more to that. Tom doesn't need Harrison worrying more and digging into it. Harrison has the habit of digging into things he should just leave alone.

"Shouldn't we ring an Uber?" Harrison asks as they get further away from the club.

Tom glances to him and shrugs a shoulder. "Figured we'd just walk it if ya wanted."

"You wanna walk?" Harrison asks, voice littered in confusion.

"It's not that far." Tom protests.

"Okay, yeah, sure. We'll walk." Harrison drops it.

Harrison knows something is up. Boxers threaten Tom all the time and he always finds a way to just walk away, laughing it off even if there's blooding gushing from his nose. It's just who he is and how he is. He doesn't let any competition faze him, not outwardly. That would give them exactly what they want and Tom doesn't cave that easily. But, what is Harrison supposed to do? Argue with him? It wouldn't do him any good. If Tom isn't telling him something, it's for his own good.

"But," Harrison starts. "She  _did_  turn you down,  _right_?"

Tom sighs, readjusting the hood on top of his head. "Yeah." Tom says but Harrison can see the forming smile coming to Tom's face.

"Please," Harrison starts, closing his eyes for a few seconds. "Just keep it in your pants this one time."

Tom chuckles softly. "Yeah."

"Dude, I'm serious." Harrison says, losing the airy tone of his voice and gaining Tom's full attention. "Arthur said if you fuck up, it's my ass, too. Not you just yours. Can't control you but...just keep your shit together, ya?"

Tom nods. "Got it." Tom's voice is filled with a soft annoyance, some towards Harrison but most of it towards Arthur. They might be friends and Tom should have expected this because this is what happens. It's never just one of them on the line. It's the two of them. Common knowledge is to go after someone they care about, someone close. But it never stops pissing Tom off. "I'll hold off until after this."

Harrison starts laughing. "You can go fuckin' wild after this if you want and she's down."

"Girls have never distracted me before, though." Tom counters, just to point out his previous track record.

"You've never competed against them and this much hasn't been on the line. You've shit luck so she'd be the one to distract you."

"I get it." Tom groans, ending the conversation between them.

While Tom and Harrison made their way home, SJ found herself back inside the basement of the club. She met back up with Mikey and Matty who were right where she had left them. There were still plenty more fights left and while SJ was confident she could beat them, she did need to stay to watch at least a few fights to see what she's up against. That was the plan for the night anyway but after seeing who Tom is really working for, all she wants to do is leave and figure out a new plan. But, she doesn't voice it.

She can't immediately tell Mikey and Matty that it's Arthur. They'll start freaking out with every conspiracy in the book and she's just too tired to deal with it. Arthur has been known to have insanely good boxers but, if they lose, they all seem to just...disappear. There's only been one that has shown up here and there but the rest all seem to just drop off the face of the earth. SJ might be mixed up with someone she shouldn't be but at least if he snaps and kills her, her body will be found. No one really knows what Arthur does with the boxers who lose or even how they get involved, but what everyone does know is that Arthur is a scary dude. But, that comes with the fact he's untouchable. One of Chicago's biggest CEO's. He has the cops wrapped around his fingers. Untouchable.

"Haven't seen Romano." Mikey says as the next fight starts to take place.

"Maybe we're wrong." SJ plays coy.

"Do you have another name in mind?" Mikey looks down to her.

"Do you?" SJ counters, looking back to him.

Mikey sighs. "Yeah, but I didn't see him."

"You weren't looking, Mikey." SJ states. "I could be wrong. Maybe it's just a coincidence."

Matty looks to SJ and then to Mikey, the two of them seeming to share the same thought. "You never say you're wrong."

"I said could and maybe." SJ points out, holding a finger up.

Matty chuckles. "Why's it matter anyway?"

SJ shrugs. "I just like to know what I'm up against, Matty." SJ states but it's almost like a plea for Matty to just leave it alone. "Now, we gotta watch otherwise I'll get fuckin' rocked eventually. Strategy."

"Right, right." Matty sighs, quickly raising his brows and showing a look of disapproval but not bothering to dig any deeper.

The three of them watch the next few fights, SJ keeping track of who wins and who loses and exactly what they do in the ring just as she did with Tom the first night she'd watched him. Seeing that Tom is working with Arthur might have caught her off guard and it might have shaken her a bit but watching other boxers is a good distraction. It keeps her mind occupied and keeps her on her toes. She likes to figure out what their next move will be and how she could use it to her own advantage when she goes against them.

After the fourth fight, the group of three decided to head home. It was late and Mikey and SJ had to work in the morning. It was Matty's turn to call them an Uber home which SJ was happy about because unfortunately for her, her tips from earlier that day were anything but good.

"Staying with us tonight?" Matty asks and they stand outside the club.

SJ groans. "No," She rolls her eyes. "Travis is by himself tonight so I should go home."

"What happened to Charlotte?" Mikey asks.

"She was called into work, apparently." SJ sighs, tugging her hair down from her ponytail.

"What's he gonna say?" Maty asks, pointing to SJ's bruised face.

SJ chuckles, shrugging dramatically. "What he can't prove, won't kill him."

Mikey laughs and shakes his head. "Tell us how that goes for you." Mikey's words drip in sarcasm.

"Will do." SJ states, throwing him finger guns.

The Uber pulls up seconds later and the three get in, directing them to the two different locations on the two streets apart. It's past midnight but SJ watches the city lights shine bright through the SUV with her head against the window. Chicago has its ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups, but something she'll always love is how pretty the lights are at night. Of course, she knows it doesn't look much different compared to other cities but this one is her home so it's different. It's a little comforting even with the weight of the world resting on her shoulders.

SJ is first to be dropped off and while she really doesn't mind living with Travis, she's dreading going back inside. She hates lying to him. He lied to her and her parents and everyone and it just lead to all of them getting completely fucked over. She's his younger sister and she's not supposed to make the same mistakes. As a younger sibling, she's supposed to learn from him but lying to him about everything she does, that's setting herself for making a similar mistake. But, the consequences he could endure if she told him, it's not worth it. It's bad enough Mikey and Matty know but she won't let Travis know. She can't watch him get hurt again.

"Need a ride tomorrow?" Mikey asks.

"That'd be great, yeah." SJ says as she hops down from the SUV.

"Time?"

"Gotta be there by eight."

"Pick you up by seven-thirty." Mikey says while Matty takes over SJ's seat.

She gives him a thumbs up before turning to go up the walkway to her house, Matty shutting the door before they drive away. She takes a deep breath as she climbs the stoop steps to her faded blue door with chipping paint. She digs out her black painted key from her bag and unlocks the door, trying to be quiet. Travis tends to be asleep by eleven and the last thing she wants to do is wake him up.

As she walks through the house, she uses her phone's flashlight. If she flips on any of the hall or living room lights, she's likely to wake up Travis. So, she creeps through the dark home and up the stairs to her bedroom. Her bag goes gently to the floor as she steps inside, turning on her light.

The room illuminates to show white walls with a few posters of marine life, all of them with small descriptions about whatever is on the poster. A desk rests by the window, a few sharpened pencils sticking out of a mason jar beside her desk lamp. A few books rest on the opposite corner and off-white blinds cover the window. A black and blue comforter falls over her full sized bed and a few medals and small trophies hang and rest from a shelf above her bed. It's not much, but it's hers.

SJ walks to her dresser on the opposite side of her room and grabs a pair of pajama pants, ones decorated with penguins. She opts for her own hoodie with a local band logo scribbled on the fabric on the upper left. She grabs the clothing and makes it for the shower that's luckily right across from her bedroom. SJ allows the warm water to wash away everything from that night, taking deep breaths. Blue spills around her feet as she brushes shampoo through her hair. The only downside to letting Matty color her hair. She wraps her hair in a large towel while drying off with another. SJ follows her normal routine of washing her face and getting her hair down, not bothering to blowdry it with the late hour.

SJ makes her way back downstairs and to the kitchen where she's able to eat and use the lights. She searches the cabinets to see hardly any food. A whispered groan comes from her throat as she just opts for off-brand Frosted Flakes with the last of the milk. She pours her cereal and hops onto the counter, taking her seat while her feet swinging softly. She's comfortable eating her cereal in silence, just being by herself and sitting beside the fridge but that wouldn't last long.

"What are you doing?"

SJ jumps with the sudden voice, spilling a little bit of milk to the floor. "Warn a person!" SJ yells, looking over to Travis who was coming in from the living room. "Did I wake you up?"

Travis shakes his head. "I was up. You got me hooked on The Walking Dead."

SJ smirks. "Who's dead?"

"Fuck off." Travis rolls his eyes. "Where have you been?"

"Mikey and Matty's." SJ says, shoving a spoon full of cereal into her mouth.

Travis nods. "Not...ya know, fighting again." Travis crosses his arms as his voice turns from one of joking to one of knowing and disappointment.

"Nope." SJ says, popping the 'p'.

"Why is your face bruised?" Travis challenges.

SJ shrugs. "How does someone's face get bruised, Travis?"

"So, you are fighting?"

"Your insipid questions are wasting the air I so desperately need for survival." SJ remarks, taking another bite of food.

"What would dad say?" Travis says and it takes everything in SJ not to combust in pure annoyance.

"Why don't you ask him?" SJ retorts, eyes boring into Travis.

"You're not funny."

"Not trying to be." SJ puts her bowl down and hops down from the counter. "Not fighting so why don't you just go to bed and text me if you need shit." SJ snarks as she starts rinsing her bowl.

Travis scratches under his nose, shaking his head. "Char is staying tomorrow."

"I'll be at Mikey and Matty's then." SJ says, starting to move past him but he grabs her arm.

"You can stay here."

SJ scrunches her face. "I love Char but I'd rather not be here with the two of you. I'm only here because you can't live alone." Travis looks at her with wide eyes, clearly ready to fight back. "It's true and I don't mean it as an insult. If it were up to me, I would be on my own by now but you do for family so I stay when Char isn't here and you're not with her. Nothing personal." SJ pulls her arm free and heads for the stairs.

"Sarah!" Travis yells after her but SJ ignores him.

Sj goes back to her room, shutting the door and locking it behind her. She takes in a few deep breaths, regretting even eating in the kitchen. She loves her brother, it's who she has but he has a way of pushing her buttons and every time she looks at him, she's reminded of what he put them all through. Everything she does is her decision but that doesn't stop her from putting some of the blame onto him. Had he not lied, she wouldn't have gotten into this. She wouldn't have a record. Nothing. But he lied. And now she's stuck here because you do for family.

SJ takes a seat at her desk and reaches under the table top where there's a key taped. She gets the key and unlocks the bottom drawer, pulling out an old notebook with coffee stains over the blue cover. She opens to a spare page but before she can start, her phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" SJ says into the phone, annoyance in her voice.

"Do you have my money?" SJ rolls her eyes, pulling the phone from her head to see it's Ian's caller ID.

"I just got home a-"

"Money or not?" Ian demands.

"Would you fucking chill, man? You're getting your fuckin' money this week. I haven't gotten it yet. It's not always instant."

"I want it by Friday."

"You will have it by Friday, just like last time."

The line goes dead and SJ just stares at her phone before putting it beside her notebook. She stares at her closed blinds before grabbing a pencil. The pencil taps as she thinks. Ian is snipping this year, impatient as all hell. She already knew it's do or die with this year's competition but the urgency and rage of Ian's voice just confirmed it. SJ needs to play dirty and she knows exactly how she'll do it.


	5. flirtatious diners

The following morning came around and Tom wakes up to an unfortunate phone call. His original plans for the day were to get a little more sleep and rest up from the fights over the past two days. He'd hit up the gym later but the morning and afternoon would be spent just lazying around with Harrison. That was the plan but Arthur called and when Arthur calls, Tom answers.

Arthur wanted Tom and Harrison to meet him at a diner the two had never heard of. It was a little bit away from them, not quite walking distance and not exactly in an area they're in very often. But, Tom got out of bed and woke up Harrison to let him know which it was no surprise when Harrison started asking questions about  _why_  Arthur wanted to meet up. And as expected, Tom didn't know.

Truthfully, Tom was still on edge from the night before with Arthur. There was something with Arthur's words and mannerisms that seemed to stick to Tom's skin. A feeling in his gut that wouldn't go away. It just turned his stomach and he hated it. He hated that last night was a real inside look on how serious Arthur is about Tom listening to him. He doesn't want to piss off Arthur anymore than he has the night before and asking questions would start the day off with a pissed off Arthur. Not something Tom wants to deal with.

So, Harrison and Tom make their breakfast and eat it in relative silence besides the tv playing in the living room and when they're done, they take turns getting ready. Before either of them knew it, it was time to head to the diner Arthur had directed Tom.

On the way there, thanks to Harrison driving, Tom couldn't help but think this was some type of set up. A set up for what, he wasn't quite sure. But it didn't feel right and it was weird. Arthur doesn't do this and when they met up last time, it was a nice restaurant, expensive, close to the lake. This diner....was not. It's a Sunday and that just seemed to throw Tom off more but when Harrison was finding the place to park, Tom snapped out of his thoughts, convincing himself he'd just been listening to Harrison talk too much and it was just in his head.

"You alright, mate?" Harrison asks as he puts the car in park.

"You're gettin' in my damn head." Tom shakes his head but a laugh escapes his throat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harrison asks as he cuts the engine and starts exiting the car.

"Startin' to think this is a weird set-up which doesn't make sense." Tom rolls his eyes as he meets Harrison around the back of the car.

Harrison chuckles and gives him a shrug. "Hey, we know nothing about this guy. It could be a set-up."

"Yeah? And what're you thinking?" Tom challenges as the two head towards the entrance.

"I don't know. You brought it up." Harrison laughs, pulling out his phone to check the time.

Tom keeps a straight face and Harrison knows whatever happened last night has been eating at him. Tom doesn't stay quiet and he's a terrible liar. He let it die because it was better than badgering him last night but now, as they walk into the door, he's regretting it. Maybe Harrison should have made Tom tell him what exactly happened. It's eating Tom and Harrison hates seeing him twisted with unease.

Arthur is seated with one of his assistants in a booth along the windows. Tom and Harrison walk over and thanks to the way Arthur and his assistant are sitting, Arthur is quick to make sure Tom knows he's to sit next to him, not Harrison. Tom slides into the booth beside Arthur and Harrison on the other side.

"Afternoon, boys." Arthur greets.

"Afternoon." Tom and Harrison say simultaneously.

Arthur looks them over and catches their uptight demeanor, the two looking as if they're holding their breath and waiting for something terrible to come. Tom really is but Harrison is in his own head, confused as to why they're even here.

"What has the two of you so uptight?" Arthur chortles as he passes a menu to each Tom and Harrison.

Harrison looks to Tom who's eyes are just scanning over the menu. "Why did you have us meet here?" Harrison asks bluntly, Tom's eyes snapping up to Harrison and silently scolding him.

Arthur chuckles. "You always think there's an ulterior motive, don't you, Osterfield?" Harrison says nothing. His jaw squares while his brows twitch up, as if to be taunting Arthur to prove him wrong. "You'll see." Arthur says, calmly.

Harrison's eyes go to Tom and he slightly shakes his head, warning him. Harrison makes a mental note to make sure he badgers Tom about last night until Tom tells him. Tom normally wouldn't have a problem with him speaking up against anyone. Harrison is perfectly capable of handling himself and if Harrison wants to say something, it's likely Tom was already thinking the same thing. But, now Tom seems against Harrison asking why they're there which they did last time. Asking, that's not out of the ordinary but by the look on Tom's face, Harrison would think he'd just stepped way out of line.

While Tom and Harrison really start looking over their menus, SJ is on the other side of the diner taking care of the table. She gets their order before making her way to the front counter and placing the order. It's been a relatively busy day which isn't too surprising and while SJ isn't a fan of dealing with so many people, especially after a weekend like the one she's had, she can do with the tips. SJ won't complain if she's getting tipped well and she definitely is today.

"Hey, table three requested you." One of SJ's co-workers said.

"Why?" She asks, not looking up from the computer.

"No clue but I'd take it." The older woman jerks her head and SJ looks up to see three people she least wants at her workplace.

"You've got to be fuckin' with me." SJ rolls her eyes, shifting her weight to her right foot. "Of course they did. Are you sure you don't-"

"I'm not telling St. Claire no." The woman laughs and pats SJ's shoulder, a nice gesture wishing her luck.

"This is my life." SJ mumbles to herself before brushing her hands down her apron and brushing off the annoyance, readying herself for her new so-called strategy.

SJ makes her way to the table, making sure to put a little more of bounce her step, her ponytail swinging side to side with every step. Her hips sway and there's a graceful smile on her face with bright eyes. When she reaches the table, she stands up straight, feet together and the smile almost completely stuck to her face.

"Good afternoon, what can I get you today?" SJ says in her waitress voice.

Tom's brows furrow and Harrison's eyes are wide while he looks to Arthur. This is why Arthur wanted them to meet here, the actual point of it is still up in the air to Harrison but not Tom. Arthur brought them there that way Tom knows and understands Arthur can and will have eyes everywhere. Arthur can find out anything and this is him sending the message loud and clear to Tom. He's not to fuck with SJ.

"Hey, Tom." SJ chimes, seeming to be more than happy to see him but all he does is nod, completely brushing her off. "How're you?" SJ remains kind, seeing if he'll talk to her. Even with Arthur, she expects him to talk to her but he doesn't. He nods again, that's it. So, SJ moves on.

Arthur says his order which was a list for SJ to write. She really didn't know they served burgers the way he wanted but she wasn't going to argue. Job or not, she's not stupid enough to argue with him. His assistant is next, then Tom who, unfortunately for him, still looks at SJ with the utmost adornment. His stare lingers a little and he stuttered once, and SJ still thinks he's cute but she turns her attention to Harrison who tells her his order.

"Right, well, your order will be done soon." SJ nods, holding the same smile before turning back to Harrison. "And by the way, did you do something to your hair?" Harrison quirks a brow and the entire table's attention is on SJ.

"No, same old." Harrison says, the confusion laced in his words.

"Well, if you ask me, you're looking remarkable today." SJ bites her lip, a smirk playing at her lips.

Tom's jaw nearly drops as he watches SJ put her pad of paper into the pocket of her apron and start twisting her hair. She's flirting with his best friend, right in front of him. And Harrison is just looking at her like a deer in headlights. And it's taking everything in Arthur not to start smirking himself at the sight, an idea coming to his mind as he watches Tom and Harrison shift in their seats.

"We should hang out sometime, yeah?" SJ offers.

"Uh," Harrison stutters, looking to Tom. "Um."

"You can think about it. I'll be back." SJ's eyes scan Harrison over before she walks off to the counter, smile dropping immediately.

Does she think Harrison's cute? Of course but does she really want to flirt with him? Not so much but if it's going to piss Tom off, she'll do it. It's a horrible thing to do, use Tom's infatuation with her against him by using his best friend. She knows that but she's desperate. Desperate people do desperate things. Desperate people don't see the obvious solution because they're too busy just trying to fix their problem rather than slowing down. SJ is smart, she's too smart but she doesn't stop to think sometimes.

Back at the table, Tom's ego has completely deflated. Girls like him, they do and he thought maybe she would be into him if it were for the whole boxing thing but now she's flirting with Harrison, in front of him. If that isn't a slap to the ego, he doesn't know what is.

"Bathroom." Tom mutters, pushing from the table and exiting the booth. Arthur watches him go but doesn't say anything, instead, his attention goes right to Harrison. Arthur has a full-blown sinister smile, one reeking of only pure malis.

"She's flirting with you, Osterfield. You could flirt back."

Harrison's jaw squares once more, an almost permanent position when Arthur talks to him. "I think you know why I won't do that."

Arthur moves to Tom's place. "I know why you're going to."

Harrison bites his tongue as he can feel his skin start to heat up and blood boil. "What?"

"If she's into you, you could take advantage of that."

"Fuck over my best mate, you mean." Harrison corrects him.

Arthur shakes his head and points a finger. "He'll get over it when he's winning."

"No, he won't." Harrison says.

"He didn't tell you about our little talk, did he?" Arthur holds back a terrible chuckle while Harrison just shakes his head. "Exactly. So, he'll get over it. Distract her."

"No." Harrison says plainly. "I don't use people."

"Do it. She has her brother and those friends of hers. She has no one."

Harrison's heart is pounding in his chest and he wants to reach over the table and deck Arthur right there. "If I don't?" With Harrison's words, Arthur's assistant looks up from their phone, fear and panic in their eyes.

"Ask Derek." Arthur nods to his assistant.

Derek gulps before looking to Harrison. "You're gonna wanna do it, man."

Harrison has never heard this guy talk before. Harrison wasn't even sure he could talk. But now that he is, Harrison's skin starts to crawl. There's a panic, a break in Derek's voice. It's a warning but a warning to what, Harrison only wishes he knew.

"If your friend loses," Arthur leans over the table, getting a little too close to Harrison. "You'll  _wish_  you were dead when I'm done with you."

Harrison sighs and he hates himself already. "When?"

He knows this is stupid. He knows Tom better than Arthur does and if anything, Harrison trying to get with SJ will distract him not her. He'll be pissed, of course, but he'll feel betrayed. He'll be hurt more than anything. They don't fight over girls, they never have and Harrison doesn't want to start now.

"You have until we leave." Arthur says.

"Not gonna let me discuss this with Tom?"

"Oh," Arthur laughs. "You tell him nothing. This conversation, never happened."

Harrison nods. "Yeah, alright but if he loses because of this, it's on you." Harrison snarks.

"If he loses because he can't control his feelings, that's on you. He's going to be pissed off. He does better when he's pissed."

"Yeah, at you." Harrison retorts in a scoff.

"Watch it." Arthur warns.

Tom is a much better fighter when he's pissed off. Anything can set him off and all he sees is red. His fists connect fast and hard and before he even knows what's really going on, he's winning the match. Tom takes minimal hits when he's pissed. Getting him to be angry about something before a match actually isn't such a bad idea but using his infatuation and best friend, that's not exactly the best way to do it. But, Harrison will do it. He'll do it because he's afraid of what Arthur will do if he doesn't and, at the end of the day, if Harrison has to, he'll tell Tom. If Tom isn't getting pissed off enough to win like Arthur thinks he is, Harrison will rat Arthur out in a heartbeat and Arthur didn't specify exactly what Harrison has to do other than get with SJ. So, he'll agree and he'll hang out with her. Ask her on a date. He doesn't technically have to do anything else.

"Fine." Harrison says, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'll ask her out and I won't tell Tom anything."

"Atta boy." Arthur chimes, reaching across the table and patting Harrison's crossed arms.

Harrison shakes his head and diverts his attention across the diner where SJ is walking to a table with food and Tom is exiting the restroom. He hates to admit it, but Tom does look less than pleased and even more on the annoyed side as he walks over.

Tom glances to SJ and his stare lingers a little but he keeps walking to Harrison. SJ catches a glimpse of Tom as he walks by before she goes back to placing food on the table. There's guilt in her veins already.

SJ goes back to the counter where she's to wait for the next order and to her delight, Matty walks in. His hair is freshly dyed an almost white and he strides right to the counter, confidence almost radiating off of him while he takes a seat. SJ grins happily as she moves to stand in front of him on the opposite side of the counter.

"Hair dying day?" SJ giggles while she works on getting him his usual pop.

"Like it?" Matty asks.

"Always." SJ says, pushing the glass to him and handing him a straw. "Here for lunch?"

"Yeah, I'm bored now. Mikey wanted food." Matty puts the straw into the glass and takes a sip.

"How's it goin' for 'im?"

"He's bored, too." Matty laughs. "And hungry."

"Yeah, yeah, get you your damn food." SJ rolls her eyes with a smile as she goes to put in the usual order for her two friends.

"How's it going for you?" Matty asks.

SJ jerks her head towards Tom's table where the four men seated look to be having some type of discussion. Matty turns, drink in hand as he looks. As he sips his drinks, his eyes land on Tom, Harrison, and the back of Arthur's head. Matty immediately starts coughing, spinning back around quickly.

"Yeah?" SJ asks, a soft grimace on her face.

"That's-" Matty points his thumb over his shoulder. "Like...."

"Mhm." SJ hums. "I'll tell you about it later with Mikey so I don't have to repeat myself but yeah." SJ's eyes roll as she leans against the counter. "Seems he's still keeping tabs."

"What're you gonna do?" Matty asks, leaning closer with interest.

"About St. Claire or Tom?"

"Both?" Matty inquires.

SJ sighs, giving Matty a sad expression. "St. Claire, ignore him. He won't touch me. Tom," SJ takes in a breath, knowing she'll be getting a hell of a lecture from Matty later. "How would someone I find attractive distract me? Try and seduce you or Mikey."

Matty's face drops and he just pushes his drink towards her. "You're a horrible person."

"Yep." SJ says, popping the p. "I put myself, you, Mikey, and Travis before everyone else and sometimes that means I gotta be a horrible person. It happens."

"Why don't you just...ya know? Date Tom? Seduce him and get inside  _his_  head. It's not such a horrible idea." Matty challenges but SJ doesn't say anything. She pulls her lips together, curling them under her teeth while her eyes go to Tom's table. Matty lets out a loud laugh. "Really? You're afraid you'll actually be into him, huh?" Matty looks over his shoulder and back to her. "He's  _cute_. Just go for it, for once in your life." 

"I have to work, ya know?"

"That's it, isn't? What did I miss when you took your call last night? I missed something if you're suddenly not wanting to knock his damn teeth in. I saw him follow you when he was done." There's a smirk forming on Matty's face and his eyes seem to light up. "Is it the accent?"

"Shut u--he followed me?" SJ's face starts to heat up as she looks to Tom's table.

"Mhm." Matty gives her a knowing smile. "So, c'mon, what'd he say that has  _you_  changing your mind?"

SJ rolls her eyes. "Not changing my mind." She states as she pushes away from the counter but Matty is eyeing her, giving the look that means he knows she's full of shit. "Okay, long story short, he apologized for having money. He's cute. He's charming and endearing. Really nice...good at what he does and if it weren't for  _this_ , I'd go for it." SJ rambles as the order become ready.

Matty simply shakes his head. "So what you guys are, ya know, whatever? People don't get in your head."

"Well, if pattern remains, neither of us will be making it out alive and free anyway so, nothing to lose." SJ remarks as she goes to walk off, not catching any of what Matty was going to say.

She continues her walk to them just as she did before, tray held up with her right hand and the blue streaks dangling in her hair just catching with the light. Harrison catches her eye and he keeps his stare with hers as a horrible burning sensation starts in the pit of his stomach. He breaks eye contact and looks to Tom, convincing himself that him asking her out isn't that big of a deal. She's told him she's not interested. Tom hasn't directly stated that she's "off limits" not that either of them has ever needed to. It's always unspoken but Harrison needs to convince himself that it's not as horrible as it seems. She's not interested in Tom. As far as Harrison knows, she's interested in him. Tom can't be mad and he'll forgive him.

SJ arrives at the table and starts placing the plates in front of their rightful owners, Harrison being the only one to thank her. Derek gave her a gentle and courteous glance, however.

"I hope you enjoy your food." SJ says, words smooth and graceful as she looks at Harrison.

"Thank you." Harrison says and there's a sudden glint his eyes.

"Of course, just lemme know if you need anything." SJ looks to the entire table before moving back to Harrison. "Especially you." A tempting smirk tugs at her lips.

Harrison takes another look at Tom and Tom is just watching SJ flirt with Harrison. It's a line. An invisible, unspoken line and he has to cross it.

"Actually," Harrison sucks in a breath, eyes apologetic towards Tom before moving to SJ. "Care to go on a date with me?"

Tom's eyes nearly bulge completely out of his head as he just stares his friend down. The unspoken rule has just been broken and Tom can't figure out why or even how. Harrison hasn't said a single word about SJ other than Tom needing to avoid her. Now, all of a sudden, Harrison is the one asking her out. Of course, Tom isn't the type of friend to just "claim" people. If Harrison were interested and had said something, all would be good but this, this seems spiteful like Harrison is just asking her out to make sure Tom will leave her alone.

SJ's jaw nearly drops as she stares at Harrison. She's not sure how their friendship works but she was sure she'd have to be the one asking and pulling out every stop to try and get with Harrison. This, this was almost too easy. But, it's what she wanted so she's not going to pass it up.

"Yeah, I'd like that." SJ blushes, sweetly smiling at Harrison. SJ pulls out her pad of paper and a pen, scribbling on it before ripping off the paper and hanging it to Harrison. "Just, text me."

Harrison nods, taking the paper. "I will." Harrison smiles.

"Okay." SJ says. "Well, enjoy your meal. I'll check back later." SJ says quickly before leaving them to their food.

Harrison avoids Tom's eyes as he adjusts and puts the paper in his pocket. He resituates and rests a forearm on the table, picking up a fork to pick at his food. Arthur is watching him with an approving smile that only makes Harrison's stomach turn. Tom is completely oblivious and Harrison hates himself.

Lunch goes by and the only person really up for conversating is Arthur. He's got Harrison and Tom right where he needs them. The full idea running through Arthur's head is that, sure, maybe Harrison asking out the girl Tom finds interest in will distract him but maybe it won't. Maybe it will get him so pissed off at not only SJ but Harrison. Arthur is relying on their egos to break up their friendship. Tom will be so pissed Harrison didn't bother to discuss it that Tom will cut off ties. If Tom cuts off ties with Harrison, that's one less person to distract Tom from winning. And if Tom has no one, he'll have Arthur. Arthur will have Tom to himself. IT's a gamble, of course, but it's one Arthur is willing to take.

Arthur and Derek leave the boys to part ways, Derek remaining eerily quiet as he was most of lunch. Tom and Harrison head to their car, Harrison taking the driver's seat again and Tom not saying a word. The car fills with tension as Tom's thumb taps against the door where his arm is rested.

"Look, I'm sorry." Harrison breaks the silence.

"Could have said something." Tom mutters.

"I know."

"Why didn't you?" Tom asks. "You've always said somethin'."

Harrison has two options. He can just shrug Tom off and let him cool down or he can actually try and lie, make it sound believable. Both have their pros and cons.

"She's not your property." Harrison states.

"What?" Tom looks at Harrison, face twisted with frustration. "I never bloody said she was."

"You talk about her like she's just an object. And...everyone likes you but she was flirting with me. Thought the same as you so I went for it. I'm sorry I didn't bring it up before. Didn't think I had a chance."

Tom huffs, looking away but then he starts thinking. Harrison isn't wrong. Girls do tend to go for Tom. Harrison is a second choice, always. It's not Tom's fault either. It's just how it is and Tom has felt guilty for it on countless occasions. It's not fair to either of them. Harrison deserves a person and Tom knows that and maybe Harrison makes a good point. He doesn't mean to refer to SJ as just some type of object. She's a person and maybe he has made her seem like just some object when he talks about her. It's not his intention. He's genuinely interested in her, especially after talking with her last night. She's not just a girl to call "dibs" on. Tom never wanted Harrison or SJ to think that's what he was doing.

"Okay." Tom says, breaking the silence that formed. "You're right. Sorry. There's just somethin' 'bout her but if she's interested you, go for it."

"Thanks." Harrison says curtly, cutting the conversation.

He's not interested. That's the problem. She's cute and she's interesting but Tom is the one who likes to play with fire. Harrison, not so much. He likes people who have their shit together. He likes people who aren't going to turn around burn him and SJ, SJ's the kind of person who will set everyone on fire if that's what she has to do. It's in the way she walks around and the sinister gleam in her eyes. She's for Tom, not Harrison but Harrison has to put on a hell of a show to make sure Arthur and Tom believe he's head over heels for her.

Back at the diner, SJ's shift is coming to a close and Mikey walks in, oil-stained shirt and jeans on display as usual. There's even oil on the side of his cheek and if SJ has to guess, he's had a hell of a day and he just wants to get to the gym and get out the frustration.

"Ready?" SJ says as she walks up to him.

"Yeah." Mikey nods, voice a little hoarse. He opens the door and allows her out first. "How'd it go?"

"Matty not tell ya?" SJ asks as the two walk with the nice weather. There's no telling when the last nice day will be so they're taking advantage of it today.

"Tell me what?" Mikey reaches over and offers to carry SJ's bag for her.

"You have grease? Oil? On your face." SJ chuckles. Mikey shrugs and wipes his face with the back of his hand. "Sure, you got it."

"Fuck off." Mikey groans. "C'mon, what's up?"

"Well, funny story-"

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Why do you always assume I did something?" Mikey looks down to her, brows raised and pulled together, calling her shit. "Fair. Basically, I decided I was gonna try and get with Tom's best friend, right?" Mikey drops the sarcastic expression and exchanges it for one of curiosity. "Ya know, distract Tom but fucking his best friend kind of deal."

"Right..." Mikey nods slowly.

"Well, Harrison asked me on a date so."

Mikey scoffs. "Did he really?"

"Yeah?" SJ looks up to him, quirked brow on display.

"Okay," Mikey starts. "But, why not just fuck Tom? I know you're into him but you could play catch and release if you wanted. He won't get in your head but you'll easily get into his so?"

SJ licks her lips and shrugs. "First of all, never said I was into him. Second, I was gonna do that but he didn't talk to me so ya know, Harrison it is."

Mikey glares at her and she can see every ounce of disappointment in his eyes. "I love you but you can be a shitty person." Mikey sighs.

"It gets worse." SJ says, chest tightening.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"St. Claire. Tom is under him."

Mikey stops dead in his tracks. His jaw locks and his eyes just bore into SJ. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Rocket?"

SJ turns around. "I-I-I gotta win, Mike. How do you get money here? Steal it or scam it and fuck knows I can scam the ever-living fuck out of anyone so."

Mikey shakes his head. "Yeah? That how you're gonna sleep at night?" Mikey walks up to her. "If we're right, if rumors are true about what Arthur does with his losing fighters, you're gonna set him up for that? When he's actually been nice to you? You said yourself when you found out that it just makes your stomach turn so why are you setting up someone innocent for that? What the fuck?" Mikey whisper-yells at SJ and she just dodges his eyes.

"Because if I don't win," SJ's voice is like leather. "Ian'll kill me or he'll kill you guys. It's two strangers or us. There's no choice. Never a choice."

Mikey stares at SJ and he's partially in disbelief. SJ will do anything to win. It's just who she is. Her life hasn't been the easiest and she does what she can to get by and if that means screwing people over, fine. She'll do it. She's loyal to three people and that's it. That's all she needs to be loyal to.

The fewer people she lets it, the less of a chance she'll be the one getting burned. But, this, this isn't something Mikey can just let go or easily get behind. If it weren't for Arthur, he still wouldn't agree with it but he'd at least understand. But, it does involve Arthur. It does and that changes things. Mikey would never ask SJ to give this up because he knows just as well as she does that it literally is her life on the line but Mikey has a line and Arthur's the line. It should be a fair fight and SJ is going to compromise it.

"There's always a choice. You've had a choice and you repeatedly make the wrong one." Mikey says as he starts walking again.

"What do you suggest I do then, huh? You never seem to have any fuckin' input, Mikey!"

"I suggest you get your fucking shit together. Dropped out of high school with a genius level IQ, colleges already up your ass for every fuckin' scholarship they had and you could have gotten the fuck out of her but you didn't."

"You do for family!" SJ screams.

Mikey whips around to face her. "YOU DO FOR FAMILY SO YOU GET THE FUCK OUT AND MAKE SOMETHING OF YOURSELF, DAMNIT!" Mikey's arm gestures to the side in pure anger and frustration. "Do you know what I'd give to have the opportunities you did? Everything. You think Ally deserves this? You think I don't want to get out of here for  ** _her_**? I would if I could. I would have but I'm not lucky like you or Travis. You both blew your fucking chances. Don't ruin other people's lives because you're too hung up yourself and everything you could have been and should have done." Mikey turns back around and starts walking.

SJ stays standing and watches Mikey's back and she can feel tears burning the back of her eyes while her head hangs. Mikey can hit below the belt but sometimes, SJ needs it. SJ needs people to tell her off and put her in her place and Mikey will. It breaks her heart when he does but it has to be done and he's always right. Manipulating people, especially involving their feelings, is wrong. It crosses a new line.

"Mikey." SJ says, catching up to him.

"I don't wanna hear it. Do whatever you want but I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear about it."

"I-I'm sorry." SJ mutters and her voice cracks.

Mikey shakes his head, looking down to her. "No, you're not. You're sorry I'm pissed, not for what you're doing."

"I'm sorry I fucked up. This....it's just something I have to do, Mikey and I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever, S. When it blows up in your face, again, I don't want to hear it this time." Mikey says and there's so much disappointment in his voice it's enough to completely crush SJ's self-confidence right there.

"It won't." SJ whispers.

"You could do something good here, ya know? Try again."

"Get caught, that means jail."

"You'll be alive."

"For how long?" Sj purses her lips as she asks the question.

Mikey looks down to her and he sighs, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into him. "You're smart. Figure it out, Rocket."

SJ nods and drops it. If anyone can guilt trip SJ into anything, it's Mikey. He's right, too. She's smart and she can use Harrison to turn everything around. She can try everything again. And if she does, she can get Tom and Harrison away from Arthur. It'll likely get her in the clear with Ian if it works. Mikey makes a good point but is the risk of being locked up outweigh it all?

The rest of the walk was quiet between the two of them, the tension slowly dying down. Even if they fight, over anything, the two do tend to get over it fairly quick. It's what happens when people are friends for years and they don't have very many people they trust. Mikey basically just has his mom and sister and then Matty, SJ, and Travis. It's not much, but it's always quality over quantity so it works and it works for SJ.

When they get to the gym and go their separate ways to the locker rooms to change and get ready, all is fine. They agree to meet back by the benches. SJ gets ready and walks out sporting a plain pink shirt and black shorts, her hair tied back but, instead of walking directly to Mikey, her eyes fall on Tom and Harrison who happen to be there. It'snot so much of a surprise, really but they're not exactly people SJ wants to see after fighting with Mikey. Not when their fight was about the two of them and SJ's terrible decisions.

"Gonna talk to him?" Mikey comes up from behind SJ, scaring her.

"You're gonna send me into cardiac arrest one day." SJ says through gritted teeth. "Should I talk to him?" SJ asks, tone almost condescending and snarky.

Mikey shrugs. "Should you?"

"You're not helpful at all." SJ mutters. "No, but I'm gonna."

"Actually, you should and I'll talk to his friend. Ya know, give him the talk." Mikey chortles putting air quotes around the word 'talk'.

"I will end you."

Mikey pats her head. "Sure you will." SJ glares at him before moving in front of him, pulling back her leg and kicking his shin. "What the fuck?"

"Leg spasm." SJ shrugs one shoulder before turning on her heels and going towards Tom.

Mikey is right behind her, planning to pull Harrison away and actually warn him about SJ. SJ can do what she wants but Mikey isn't gonna let Harrison go in blind. Stranger or not.

SJ, on the other hand, just wants to know why Tom is suddenly not talking to her. She wants to feel him out and make sure her going on a date with Harrison is making him uncomfortable and this won't be for nothing. If it'll be for nothing, it's plan B or C because Mikey just had to bring up plan C.

While SJ goes to one side of Tom, Mikey is going to one side of Harrison and greeting him.

"Hey." SJ says as she approaches Tom as he's hitting the punching bag. He glances to her but keeps up his movements. "Okay..." SJ says quietly and watches Mikey ask Harrison to the side. "So, last night you were more than okay talking but today....?"

Tom stops, catching the bag before facing her. "Okay." He says simply. For all Tom knows, Arthur could have someone in that gym watching him. Possibly the manager since he's one of the only people actually around but regardless, he'd rather not be caught talking to SJ.

"Well, why?" SJ presses.

"Why does it matter?" Tom challenges.

"W-uh, I, um, I was just wondering, I guess." SJ rolls her shoulders.

"You're not interested. I can leave you alone." Tom says and he starts walking off.

"That all?" SJ asks, keeping up with him.

"Yep." Tom pops the 'p' of the word. "You've a date with Harrison anyway, ya?"

"Yeah, yeah." SJ nods and she forces a smile to her face.

"Exactly." Tom's voice is short and plain and SJ is just lost. No one makes such a one-eighty in less than twenty-four hours.

"Are you-"

"I have to get back to this so." Tom runs a hand through his damp curls before walking away from SJ.

She stands there, slightly dumbfounded. He was so into her the night before and before that and now, now it's like he wouldn't even give her the time of day which, to be fair, this is probably how he felt the first day. It doesn't feel very good now that it's happening to SJ but, there's something telling her there's more and then she remembers the exact events of the night before. The lost expression Tom had when SJ told him he needed to win just as much as her, why she was so quick to leave when Arthur showed up. Tom doesn't know anything, not a single detail about Arthur and he's gotten in his head. But not Harrison?

"I'll be by the benches." Mikey says as he interrupts SJ's thoughts. "Leave you guys to yourselves." Mikey nods to Harrison.

"Hey." Harrison greets, a nervous smile coming to his.

"Hey." SJ shakes her thoughts away. "What's up?"

"Well, are you free tomorrow? Figure weekends aren't so good for a date." Harrison releases a chuckle and truthfully, he just wants to get the date done and over with.

"Oh, yeah, that's totally fine. I get off work at six." SJ says.

"I could pick you up?" Harrison offers. He's taking her on a date, he's actually going to put in effort.

"I'll text you the address. What time?"

"Eight?" Harrison offers.

"Sounds good." SJ smiles sweetly. "What should I wear?"

"I was thinking dinner and go from there so, nice, I guess?" Harrison gives her a nervous laugh.

"Got it." SJ's cheeks start to burn red. She catches a glimpse of Tom from the other side of the gym. He's glancing at her and Harrison but all he does is look annoyed which means, her plan is probably working but while she's catching his glance, Harrison is watching her. Harrison isn't stupid, either. "Well, I should, ya know?" SJ points her thumb behind her, towards Mikey.

"Yeah, yeah, same." Harrison nods, doing the same gesture towards Tom. "Tomorrow."

With guilt building in SJ's stomach, she gives Harrison a gentle and adoring smile. "Tomorrow."


	6. heartless

The sound of one of Matty's favorite local bands pumps through his bathroom while he holds a thin curling iron to SJ's hair. SJ is buried in her phone, bouncing between texting Travis and Harrison. Travis is making sure SJ knows he won't be home and the door's locked as usual and Harrison is triple checking the address and time, making sure she really wants to go tonight. Mikey is seated in the bedroom that connects to the bathroom, his position allowing him to see his friends while he's laid on the bed.

"You comfortable in there?" SJ quips, looking up from her phone once Matty moves the curling iron away from her head.

"Better than the fumes Matty is letting out in there." Mikey groans as he hears Matty start spraying some of SJ's hair with hairspray.

"Better than the fumes you bring home with you." Matty snaps. "You always smell like a rusty car garage."

SJ snorts at the so-called insult. "Rust car garage?"

"I have a hot curling iron very close to your ear." Matty warns as he goes in for the final strand of hair.

"I was just saying." SJ laughs, trying not to move too much. "How much longer anyway?"

"Why? Nervous?" Matty quips.

"Nervous you're gonna ruin two people's lives?" Mikey chimes in.

SJ's shoulders drop and her expression falls. "You guys are mean."

They've both been at it all night. SJ sat them both down the night before and explained everything. She told that while she understands it's wrong, she can't figure out another way. Matty suggested just having a sparring match at the gym with Tom, see how he is and that's not such a bad idea. But, as it is SJ, she turned it down. The boys kept at it though, telling her to just not fuck with people's feelings. It's not the right thing to do and SJ is very well aware of that. After an hour, Mikey had given up and that's when Matty really started in.

Mikey has known SJ longer but Matty tends to get to be more reasonable. Matty understands a different part of SJ that Mikey doesn't, it's part of why they're friends. Matty's entire point the night prior was that if she really did find any interest in Tom, she wouldn't use his best friend regardless of the consequences with boxing.

Tom's dangerous, gasoline to a lit match. But, he's only dangerous  _because_  of the boxing. That's it. That's the only reason. She's interested, very interested and she's never interested in anyone. She likes to remain a one-night stand. It's easy and safe and she finds comfort in it. Real interest, that's scary. But, she doesn't know him and bottom line is that she's not sure if she can give up her freedom or her life for someone she simply  _might_  end up truly liking. Someone she doesn't know. Rock and a hard place.

Matty glances to Mikey before rolling his eyes and moving onto a new section of hair. "Sure we are."

SJ sighs. "You guys are never letting this go if I follow through, huh?"

"Nope." Mikey says immediately.

"Matty?" SJ asks.

Matty removes the iron from her hair and moves in front of her, leaning against the counter to face her. "Look what happened to you." Matty's voice is soft but almost pleading. "You're still fucked up from that and it's been what? Seven years? I'm just saying, you're setting them both up for a life of that but worse. And before you go off," Matty changes his tone, pushing away from the counter. "You can figure something else out but dating them with ill intentions, that's not the solution."

"So you think I should go with Mikey's idea?" SJ asks as Matty starts pinning some of her hair back.

"Yep." Matty says. "You like him, he likes you. Why not....just do it?" Matty looks in the mirror to make eye contact with SJ. "Why not just go for it and then he'll trust you, you'll trust him? If you can team up with him rather than this, SJ, it might work this time and," Matty goes back to working on her hair. "You can stop always lookin' over your shoulder."

"How about I think about it then?" SJ offers. "I can't cancel right now anyway but I'll think about it over dinner." SJ shrugs, looking at Matty with pleading eyes. "I promise, no bullshit.

"Okay." Matty says.

"Yeah, alright." Mikey agrees as he walks into the bathroom. Matty starts spraying SJ's hair with hairspray. "Really?"

"You came in here." Matty states. "We're done with her hair anyway."

"Finally." SJ groans.

"Well, I was trying to hide the blue. You have a blue dress you could have worn so your hair would match." Matty crosses his arms over his chest.

"Oh, shame." SJ says sarcastically. "I don't think he'll care if my hair matches my dress."

"How do you know?" Matty counters, hands going to his hips.

"Mikey," SJ stands up and straightens the red dress with a flowing skirt that cuts just above the knee. "What'd'ya think?"

Mikey nods and he can't help but smile. "Wow."

"He doesn't care." SJ laughs, turning back to Matty. "Now, I have to do my makeup." SJ takes her seat back and Matty takes a seat on the counter, ready to hand her whatever she asks for.

While SJ finishes getting ready, Tom and Harrison are back at their apartment, Harrison getting dressed and checking the GPS on his phone a hundred times. Tom is in the living room, beer in hand and sweats clinging to his body.

Tension has been thick with them since yesterday. Tom is very obviously jealous that Harrison has a date with SJ without even trying. Tom doesn't even get to try thanks to Arthur but Arthur doesn't seem to have an issue with Harrison dating her. And, all yesterday, it just pissed him off but now as Harrison strolls into the living room, Tom thinks of something.  

"Good?" Harrison asks as he walks stands to the side of Tom.

"Good." Tom nods once, looking back to the TV.

Harrison says as the weight of guilty pulls his heart to stomach. "Are you?"

Tom nods. "Yep."

Harrison weighs the idea of just calling it off. He could say that he's sick. At this point, he'd be willing to just go to the ER, fake some weird stomach ache just so Arthur would believe him but, then that'd just buy him enough time to reschedule not cancel fully. And he could tell Tom but Tom can be a wild card and he might change around Arthur if he knows right now. Harrison has to wait for the right time to tell Tom it's a setup. But, then, he could always tell SJ. If he tells SJ Arthur is making him do it, maybe he won't have to worry about her getting invested. It sucks for her, too and he doesn't even know at this point because he doesn't even think he can trust her. The only thing Harrison knows for certain is that he wants to go home which is pretty ironic considering he _is_  home.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened the other night then?" Harrison asks, a last ditch effort to get something out of Tom.

"Nope." Tom answers plainly and he's fighting a battle in his head to ask a question he's dying to know the answer to but if he asks, Harrison will want an explanation and Tom can't give him one.

Harrison shakes his head, internally punching himself. "You said you were okay with it."

"I am." Tom mutters. "Give me a minute, alright?" Tom ditches the beer on the end table before getting up and going to the kitchen. "You're really into her, ya?" Tom asks, finding this to be the best way to ask the question he wants. It's not completely direct but at least Harrison won't start asking questions.

Harrison looks down and back to Tom, hating that he has to lie to him. Hating that he has to lie and subsequently hurt his best friend and SJ, two people who don't deserve the manipulation. "Yeah, yeah I am." Harrison lies.

"Awesome." Tom mumbles, an unsuccessful way of hiding his disappointment.

Tom bites the inside of his cheek, his heart aching from the so-called truth. Tom wants it so bad to be Arthur's doing. Arthur seemed pleased that Harrison asked SJ out and Tom, after thinking about it, was just hoping that Arthur had something to do with it. Harrison wouldn't do this, not over a girl but maybe he would now. It's a mess and Tom's jealous and a little heartbroken.

"Yeah, I'll be back later." Harrison mumbles, heading for the door.

"Haz," Tom gets his attention but he doesn't say anything, there's just this look Harrison hasn't seen before. Tom looks almost desperate and like he wants to ask Harrison to just call it off. But, Harrison knows he won't. Harrison gave him that whole thing about her liking him and for once, to let him get the girl. It's all bullshit but Tom doesn't know that and that just makes it worse.

"Why do you like her?" Harrison asks, his eyes slightly narrowed.

Tom shrugs. "Dunno, just do."

Harrison sighs and Arthur never said how long Harrison has to keep this up. "Feel her out, talk you up a bit and if she seems even a little interested, that's it."

"Thanks." Tom says quietly.

"Yeah." Harrison nods before opening the door and leaving Tom to himself.

Tom really can't pinpoint why he wants anything to do with SJ. He just does which only adds to his guilt of making Harrison feel guilty for asking her on a date. She doesn't give him the time of day which makes the chase fun but she's not actually a bitch to him. Instead of glaring or telling him off, she just smirks and plays into the game. Tom was so positive that he had a chance and it just doesn't make any sense and that's what got him feeling so jealous, not that Harrison is going on a date. He just thought he had a chance.

Harrison allows the GPS to guide him to Matty and Mikey's house on another side of the city. Harrison follows the GPS to a point but he's never been to this area of Chicago before and as he gets deeper into it, the more the houses don't look like the ones he sees on the daily basis. The houses all look old and mostly unkempt. Windows aren't boarded up or anything to that extreme, it just seems to be not what he's used to but how could Harrison possibly be surprised? People don't end up underground boxing for fun, not here.

Harrison pulls up to the curb and sucks in a deep breath before exiting the car. As he starts to walk up to the gate, the tan door opens and SJ appears with Matty and Mikey behind her. Harrison's brows raise as he swallows. She cleans up very, very well and now he regrets coming even more.

SJ eyes Harrison and to no surprise to her, he's dressed perfectly. But, what really catches her is what he's wearing. Plain black shirt, black jeans, matching black shoes, and a red leather jacket. Somehow, the two of them managed to color coordinate.

"We match." SJ chuckles as she walks down the stairs, black heeled boots clicking against the steps.

"Yeah," Harrison's cheeks starting a pretty shade of pink. "We do."

SJ puts her hands in the pockets of her black leather jacket. "Well, are you ready?" SJ asks, a sweet smile on her lips.

"Yeah, absolutely." Harrison nods a few times before stepping to the side and gesturing his hand for her to walk first.

SJ gets a good look at the black car and her first reaction is to turn around and make a comment but she refrains. She isn't completely sure what she's doing with Harrison yet and she doesn't actually want to come off like she's judging him for something he doesn't have control over. But, then it hits her that it's probably not even his car.

Harrison opens the door for her and allows her in, her nodding to Mikey and Matty before she gets in. Harrison shuts the door and makes his way to the opposite side.

"A Bentley?" SJ quirks a brow, buckling her seatbelt. "Not your car, is it?"

Harrison gains an embarrassed smile. "No, it's not." He chuckles softly as he buckles his seatbelt. "Boss's car." The smile falters and SJ just gets confused all over again.

"He...loaned you his car so you could take me on a date?" SJ inquires.

Harrison nods a few times but his demeanor has seemed to completely change. He went from a normal pre-date nervous to suddenly very uncomfortable. If people borrow a car from their boss and it's no big deal, they don't get uncomfortable. SJ knows the car is Arthur's but Harrison doesn't know she knows. So, SJ wants to play it off. If Tom had told Harrison that SJ knows Arthur, Harrison wouldn't just brush it as his boss. Something's off and SJ's regretting her decisions now.

"Yeah, he's...cool." Harrison says as he puts the car in drive but the words are forced.

SJ drops it and tries a different angle. "Where're we goin'?"

"Oh," Harrison says, not remembering the name of the restaurant. "Here." He points to the GPS and SJ smiles, trying to hold back a laugh as she's piecing it together.

"Your boss suggest it?"

Harrison's cheeks immediately flare red. "Yeah." Harrison says.

A lightbulb seems to go off above her head. "Turn left."

"What?" Harrison glances to her.

"Turn left." SJ says again.

Harrison hesitates but he reaches the stop sign, he turns, going against the GPS. SJ directs him two streets down, four houses down from the corner. Harrison pulls over and SJ unbuckles her seatbelt. He watches her carefully as his heart starts to race. They have to go to the restaurant. Harrison is sure Arthur will have someone keeping on eye on him to make sure he goes with her but SJ just resituates and pulls her phone out from her pocket.

"Smile." SJ says, leaning over the center console to take a selfie. Harrison smiles as SJ takes the picture. "Okay, c'mon." She grins, moving for the door.

"Wait." Harrison reaches over and pulls at her arm gently. "What 'bout dinner? Where are we?" Harrison rambles.

"We're at my house." SJ says nonchalantly. "And we'll go to dinner after." SJ bites her lip as she goes for the door again, this time successfully getting it open and exiting before Harrison could stop her.

Harrison sits for a second, questioning what he's going to do. After. She said after and to Harrison, she could only mean one thing but why? By the look of her makeup and hair, she's put in a lot of effort and why would she just...ruin it? And Harrison isn't willing to sleep with her. But that's exactly what she's thinking, right? If he tells her no, she might get offended or pissed off and just cancel everything and then Harrison is fucked. But, if he agrees, and Tom finds out, he's fucked. Harrison is in a hell of a situation and he has no idea how to get out of it.

Harrison gets out of the car, locking it as he walks up to her. SJ smiles at him, reaching out for his hand. He takes it. Her skin is rough and his thumb brushes over her knuckles. He'd never paid attention before because why would he? But, her knuckles feel like they have cuts and scabs over the top of them, like they've been beaten to hell. The palm of her hand is calloused and Harrison has to wonder exactly how much time she really spends in a ring.

SJ leads him up the walkway while Harrison tries to think of an excuse to just go to dinner without upsetting her. He doesn't want to upset her anyway, making her think she's not good enough or anything like that. But, his mind comes up blank and before he even knows it, SJ is releasing his hand and grabbing her key to unlock the door.

"So, you live here?" Harrison shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, looking around her front stoop.

"Um," SJ looks to him and shrugs. "Yeah?" She says softly as she jiggles the doorknob, finally getting it unlocked. "Sometimes it sticks." She explains.

"Gotcha." Harrison says, his voice a little timid.

SJ gives him a confident smile before entering her home, knowing Travis was staying at Charlotte's house for the night. Harrison follows her inside but before he could get a good look at the home, SJ was shutting the door and pulling Harrison to her. She pins him against the door and her lips connect with his. Harrison groans against her, eyes shooting wide open and he should pull away. He should pull away for Tom, but he doesn't. Harrison's hands go to SJ's hips and his eyes flutter closed while his mouth starts to move in sync with hers.

SJ is used to having one night stands. She doesn't usually do relationships. She goes out to bars when Travis won't be home and Mikey and Matty are free and she brings someone home. It's fun and it's always easy. No strings attached but this is so much different. There are stakes here and instead of just the wanting to get off, SJ just feels the guilt building her stomach and wanting to boil over. She didn't really expect Harrison to kiss her back.

SJ pulls away just enough to whisper against Harrison's lips. "I have a proposition."

Harrison's eyes open, as he looks down to her, curious about what she was thinking and what made her stop. "Go on."

SJ goes in to kiss him again, Harrison not missing a single beat. "You could sleep with me." SJ mumbles between kisses.

Harrison pulls away a little, jaw falling open and SJ can see him visibly gulp. "Sleep with you? As in-"

"Fuck me, yeah. You heard right." SJ giggles, licking her lips.

"And you're serious?" Harrison asks, the look of pure shock is etched across his face.

"Dead serious." SJ leans in closer as she whispers in Harrison's ear, her hands trail to the hem of his shirt, thumbs brushing under it and rubbing the smooth skin. She kisses his cheek and moves down his jaw. "What'd'ya say, Osterfield?" SJ asks in a low voice, nipping at Harrison's neck causing him to involuntarily pull at her hips, bringing her flush against him.

Harrison's chest heaves and it's now or never. SJ kisses his neck but she's careful not to even go near leaving a mark and her hands stay where they are, not moving up or down, not going to remove his jacket or shirt. She's asking for permission and Harrison's mind goes to Tom because he should be here, not him.

"I'm sorry." Harrison whispers, squeezing SJ's hips and softly pulling her away from him. But, when he gets a look at her face, she's giving him a gentle smile and his brows knit together.

"Arthur set this up, huh?" SJ asks.

Harrison's eyes bulge just like Tom's did. "H-how did you...what?"

SJ laughs. "C'mon, can I get you somethin' to drink? We've got pop, coffee, beer?" SJ moves away from Harrison and goes to the kitchen.

Harrison stands against the door in shock, brows furrowed as he watches her. His eyes go to the floor and then to the side, trying to figure out what just happened. Was that some type of weird test? And how the hell does she even know about Arthur? And that he would set it all up? Why isn't she mad?

"Dude," SJ calls. "You coming?"

Harrison snaps out of his thoughts, directing his stare right at SJ before pushing off the door. "What just happened?" Harrison asks as he makes the few feet walk to the kitchen.

"Tom didn't tell you?" SJ asks as she grabs herself a pop, leaving the fridge open for her to gesture to it.

"Water, please." Harrison says. "Tell me what?" He takes a seat at the table while SJ kicks the fridge closed and grabs him a bottled water from the floor.

"The other night, Arthur came looking for him and saw us talking. I said his name. Did you not know?" SJ takes her seat across from Harrison and passes him the water.

"No?" Harrison shakes his head, opening the bottle. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

SJ shrugs, cracking open the pop. "Had to guess, Arthur's doing. Guy's pretty fucked up."

"Can you explain what's going on?" Harrison lets out a frustrated sigh.

Tom didn't tell him SJ and Arthur know each other. Tom said it was just another boxer the other night which is true but that's different. Something happened before Harrison showed up and Tom isn't speaking. SJ was there but how much could she really know? She agreed to this date and she asked him to have sex with her but it seems it was a test. Nothing is making sense and Harrison just feels like his head is going to explode.  

SJ takes a drink and shakes her head. "You first."

Harrison stares at her, more uncertainty filling his veins. "When we're done here, we still go to dinner."

SJ reaches across the table, opening her hand to shake his. Harrison takes her hand and shakes it. "Deal."

"Arthur wanted me to date you to get inside of your head and to piss off Tom enough that he'd win without question. You were flirting with me so he took advantage of it. Threatened me and he freaks me out so, had to." Harrison admits without any hesitation as if it were eating at him over the past day.

"That's what I thought." SJ says, the comment leaking with hints of agitation but not towards Harrison.

"You knew?"Harrison asks.

"When I saw the car, I did." SJ explains. "If Tom's in debt to Arthur, that means you're not gonna have money either, not enough money to afford a fucking Bentley. And then you admitted to Arthur loaning it to you. You just confirmed it when you didn't know the name of the restaurant."

Harrison hangs his head, guilty smile coming to his lips. "I'm not good at this."

"Good." SJ's eyes leak sincerity. "You don't want to be."

Harrison watches her shift in her seat as if more's eating at her. "Your turn."

"I have to win and I'll do anything for it, as you are. I was gonna date you to get into Tom's head so I could win." SJ admits and there's guilt in every single word and every move of her eyes as she avoids Harrison's stare.

"I won't tell him." Harrison says softly.

SJ's eyes snap to his. "Why not?"

Harrison takes a drink. "What he doesn't know can't hurt him." Harrison says. "But don't try with him, not if you're pulling this shit."

SJ nods once and silence fills the air. There's a bigger picture and the two of them are in it together. SJ might have Ian to worry about but at the end of the day, her and Harrison have Arthur. Arthur is the big guy that controls everything and everyone. He can convince Harrison to betray his best friend. If SJ pulls what she did last time, she's screwed. He can't physically touch her like he can with Harrison and Tom and he can't do with her what he does to his losing boxers, but he sure as hell can make sure she pays for everything. Arthur has a lot of enemies but he has the power to have them and dispose of them. SJ's decision was never right or wrong. There was never a decision. She needs to try again, work with Harrison and eventually Tom.

SJ pulls out her phone and goes to Instagram, posting the picture of her and Harrison. "How'd you get involved with Arthur?" She asks.

"Why?" Harrison asks. "Who are you callin'?"

"Not calling." SJ passes him the phone. "Covering your ass for the moment. This will buy you time."

"You were planning this? In the car?" Harrison smiles as he sees the post, public for people to see.

SJ nods a few times before she lets out a sigh. "Do you have any idea what you guys got yourselves into?"

 Truthfully, Harrison and Tom have no idea. All Arthur tells them is that if Tom wins, they're off the hook. If Tom loses, Arthur owns them but that could mean anything. Harrison has always had a bad feeling and deep down Tom has too but he hasn't been willing to admit it. It seems SJ might be the key to unlocking exactly what they got themselves into.  

Harrison's brows furrow as he pushes her phone back to her. "Um, just Tom has to win and we do what he says."

SJ bites the inside of her cheek, debating on telling him. If she tells him what she knows, he could go right to Arthur and tell him. If Arthur finds out SJ is running her mouth, she's done for. When she says Arthur can't touch her, it's because she's too smart to go running her mouth but now she's given the opportunity to really do something about him. Harrison and Tom are her openings. They're strangers but they don't deserve what Arthur has planned. But, trust isn't easily given, especially coming from SJ.

"I...I need to tell you something." SJ starts, shame filling her voice. "But....I need to do something and you have to do something because if I tell you, you can rat me out."

"What do you want?" Harrison asks.

"First, you can't tell Tom."

Harrison immediately groans and hangs his head. "Of course not."

SJ sighs. "That's it. I'm gonna fuckin' trust you against my better judgment."

"Why?" Harrison's eyes are narrowed in suspicion.

"Something about Tom makes me like him and if you tell him I said that, I'll knock your teeth in. But, also because you guys have no idea what you got yourselves into and I've seen you with Arthur. You already fucking hate him, Tom is terrified."

"Yeah, noticed that." Harrison's eyes go distant for a second. "I won't say anything." Harrison promises. "To anyone." Harrison needs to know what's going on so SJ has his word.

"Okay, here's the thing, Arthur only has like two boxers that have stuck around but...." Sj pauses. "They pop in and out and it's....sketchy. I dunno, it's weird as fuck, man." SJ says. "He had this one though and long story short, I did some stuff and found out some stuff and, um, I don't know for sure because I got caught before I had anything solid but....I think....I think he sells his boxers. The ones that lose."

"What do you mean he sells his boxers?" Harrison asks, his voice is low and on edge.

SJ shrugs. "There was an investigation after I got caught because well, I opened my mouth, lesson not learned as you can see. The investigation went into sex trafficking."

Harrison's heart stops dead in his chest. "What?" His voice cracks.

SJ nods. "Yeah, the investigation didn't go on long and it just...went away." SJ scoffs. "Like...just vanished. If you look into it, there's no information. Nothing. No public files on it. It's like it never fucking happened when it did." SJ pauses, Harrison looking like he's about to throw up. "But here's the thing, I don't really know if that's what going on. I think it's a little far fetched if I'm being honest but he does do something with these guys." SJ explains further telling the full truth.

"How do I know you're not fuckin' with me? To get in my head?" Harrison asks and rightfully so.

"You can help me prove it." SJ says. "We be friends and if I can get in with you, I get into Arthur's shit again."

"That's a big theory." Harrison states but there's no doubt in his tone.

"I know." SJ says, simply. "I know but I'm telling you, something isn't right and I think I am. Look, if I didn't believe I was, I would have had you and/or Tom in bed right now."

Harrison gives her a displeased look. "Really?"

"Yep." SJ gives him a cocky grin, a terrible attempt at lightening the mood. "I wanted to just get into Tom's head originally but I feel like a shitty person for all this and Mikey mentioned trying again and he's right. If I didn't think you guys were totally fucked, I wouldn't care. I would do whatever to win but getting sold for  _anything,_  that shit is..." SJ winces. "I can't set Tom up to lose like that."

"You're really serious?"

"Unfortunately."

Harrison doesn't say anything for a few beats. There's an overwhelming feeling of panic and dread wanting to consume him. He knew there was something wrong with Arthur and he knew something was up with Tom. Tom hasn't been his usual self since Arthur brought up the boxing. SJ's right, there's more to this and it goes deeper than what Harrison and Tom think. If they want out, they need her.

"Tom likes to gamble. It's how he got into this. He lost over twenty grand from Arthur. He got desperate-"

"Desperate people do desperate things." SJ interrupts, her words showing she understands.

Harrison nods. "Yeah, he made a deal with Arthur."

SJ huffs. "And you're guilty by association."

"Yep." Harrison says, going for another drink of water.

"Why'd you tell me?" SJ asks.

"Now you have something on us." Harrison shrugs, but the corner of his mouth is pulled into a smile. "What's your plan?"

"I don't have one." SJ laughs, leaning back in her chair. "Not yet, I've had all of not long to think here. For now, we go to dinner, we tell Tom, Mikey, and Matty nothing. We just...go on. We had dinner, it was nice. That's it. We don't fake date or any of that. If you find something out, lemme know and vise versa. I'll keep you in the loop but we just go on like this conversation never happened."

"We're friends." Harrison shrugs a single shoulder.

"Exactly. We can flirt a little but not over the top."

"Tom has to keep winning." Harrison states.

"If he looks like he's going to lose-"

"I'm telling him."

"Good." SJ agrees. "Now, come here." SJ stands up, straightengn her dress. Harrison follows her lead as they walk up to each other. SJ runs her hands through his hair, messying it up a little bit before doing the same to her hair, removing a few pins. "Sex hair."

Harrison chuckles. "Really?"

"Safe than sorry."

"Hey," Harrison starts as SJ leans against the table. "Tom really is into you."

SJ gives Harrison a gentle smile. "I know." She whispers. "He didn't say a word to me yesterday but I saw him staring me down and he gives me that look. I know."

Harrison laughs a little, running a hand through his hair. "Told him I'd bring it up."

SJ's head goes back as she lets out a laugh. "Why?"

Harrison rolls his shoulders. "Think you're into him, too."

"Everything thinks they know shit." SJ remarks, pushing away from the table. "Guess, you'll never know since you said to stay away."

Harrison shakes his head. "Can't control him," Harrison wiggles his brows. "We're friends after all."

"You need to spit out whatever you're hinting at."

"'M just saying, if we all make it out of this alive and not....ya know, maybe you should ignore what I say."

SJ rolls her eyes as she tries to bite back her smile but to no avail. "We have to go to dinner, Harrison."

"This might be a disaster." Harrison warns, but there's a plotting smile on his lips.

"Guess we'll have to make it work then." SJ smirks, leading the way out of the house and sealing their fate.


	7. tension

SJ and Harrison went on their date. They ate together and actually both had a good time. They pushed their conversation from before out of their minds to at least enjoy the night. If they had to be on a date, they might as well have fun. And it was. The two found out they get along quite well and in SJ's words, if it weren't for everything going on, they'd be great friends anyway. Harrison felt relieved through the entire date knowing SJ was on the same level he was. He felt at ease with her for the first time since everything with Arthur had started. Harrison isn't stupid so his guard is up but it's nice for it not to be to the skies.

After they'd finished their desert, Harrison took SJ back to Mikey and Matty's by SJ's request. SJ didn't feel like being alone so she'd be staying with her friends for the night and Harrison didn't even question it. He was a complete gentleman and even opened the door for her when they pulled up to the curb. They were going to say a goodnight but Harrison had a few more questions he was dying to know and seeing as the night had gone so well, he'd been hoping she'd give him an honest answer.

"Alright, gotta know," Harrison leans against the car door. "Why didn't you go for Tom first?"

"Didn't I explain this?" SJ raises a brow, crossing her arms but there's a smile at her lips.

Harrison gestures a handout. "Did you?"

SJ laughs and nods. "Look, honestly?"

Harrison nods. "Yeah, honest."

"I don't do the feelings thing. I don't have the time, ya know? I dig him. He's cute. But, feelings, I just...don't."

"Are you scared?" Harrison asks and his brows pinch together as if to feel a pain for her.

SJ shakes her head. "No, not really." SJ moves to stand beside Harrison, leaning against the car. "Between you and me, I told Mikey and Matty that I was afraid Tom would distract me but...." SJ pauses and she looks up to Harrison, his eyes a prettier shade of sapphire in the light of the night. "He wouldn't." She lets out a gentle scoff. "But, if or when we'd have to fight each other, I couldn't do that. I mean, I would because it's my fuckin' life here but I wouldn't  _want_  to and I wouldn't want to make him have to decide on putting a fist to face or living the life Arthur has planned for him if he loses."

Harrison nods in understanding. She has a point. It wouldn't be fair for either of them to really, really have feelings for each other that are more than surface deep and then be stuck being pinned against each other. If SJ is right about Arthur, that is a hell of a situation. Literal hell but SJ also says she's literally going to die if she doens't win. If something were to happen between SJ and Tom, it's put a new meaning to finding someone to die for. It'd be literal.

On a good note, however, SJ did say she was going to try and help. Try to figure something out to help them and hopefully help herself. Harrison isn't sure what her plan is and SJ doesn't exactly have one yet but she'll think of one. Harrison needs her and she needs him. But, what SJ doesn't realize is that she also needs Tom. She needs him no matter what her plan is.

"So, you're scared of really liking him."

SJ slowly loses the smile and a look of heartbreaking honesty consumes her face. "Yeah, felt comfortable with him when I talked to him and I don't feel comfortable with anyone. I only feel comfortable with you because you told me shit. Tom didn't tell me anything and I still felt like I could trust him. I can't."

"He'd understand if you told him, if you wanted to." Harrison offers.

SJ chuckles a little. "I won't but nice try."

"Had to." Harrison laughs, running a hand through his messy curls before he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"Tell him or my friends," SJ starts as Harrison pulls out his phone and starts reading a text. "I'll knock your damn teeth in."

SJ's wearing a smile but Harrison isn't. His expression had fallen as he'd read the text and it felt like someone was squeezing his heart. He coughed a few times and shoved his phone back in his pocket, forever regretting the night. SJ watched him and questioned it but assumed it was Tom. If only had it been Tom.

"Arthur's watching." Harrison mutters.

"What?" SJ asks, eyes glued on Harrison.

"He said he's just been watching."

SJ scoffs and turns away. "He's looking for a show."

"What?" Harrison asks, looking down to her.

"He wants a show."

"What do we do then?" Harrison asks, ditching the question on how she'd even know that's what Arthur would want. Harrison figures they're on borrowed time outside in the chilly weather so he might as well just roll with whatever SJ has up her sleeve.

"Don't freak out," SJ says, leaning her head against his arm. "Give you a hickey."

Harrison starts coughing again and it takes everything in SJ not to snap up and hit him. "Really?"

"That's a horrible idea."

"Do you want Arthur to think you're not trying to play him or not?" SJ questions and all she hears is Harrison sigh before his arm moves from behind her head and goes around her shoulders, pulling her in front of him.

Harrison tugs at SJ's hips, bringing her flush against him before he leans down. "Tom's gonna be pissed."

"That's what Arthur wants, man." SJ whispers but makes sure there's a smile tugging at her lip just in case Arthur really is watching them.

Harrison pulls away, but only enough to look at her. "Okay." He says simply and there's guilt in his eyes but there's guilt in SJ's, too.

SJ's guilty eyes and fake smile make Harrison more confident to follow through. If she feels as bad as he does, this isn't a vendetta. This isn't something to get herself ahead. It's strictly something to make sure Harrison and Tom have time. They need all the time they can get so if random hickies to make it look like Harrison isn't playing Arthur, then that's what has to happen. If Tom starts going south, Harrison will start talking.

There's hesitance in Harrison's movements, very obvious he's unsure if this is the right thing to do. His thumbs are rubbing over the red fabric of SJ's dress and he's pressing his forehead to hers but he can't bring himself to make a move, to escalate and put on a show.

SJ takes it into her own hands but there's hesitance in her movements as well, something Harrison didn't know could happen. She holds herself with so much confidence and ease, but it's like she's scared now. This is her idea and she's scared. Ironically enough, her fear makes Harrison trust her more.

"Say the word and we stop." her voice is gentle and soothing as her lips brush against Harrison's.

Harrison responds with anything other than the tilt of his head, pressing his lips to hers. It's rushed and tastes like shame. There's urgency but the urgency that isn't lust filled and makes someone want to jump out of their skin in ecstasy. The urgency is just that. Urgent. A need to get over and move on. It's two-sided and boring. No sparks or butterflies, fireworks or rainbows. Just fast, harsh, and dreading.

SJ is first to make the move down his neck, making sure the kisses from his jaw are quick but precise. Harrison lets his hands go to her back, gently squeezing. SJ's mouth connects with Harrison's neck and she nips at his skin. She's fast but efficient. Delicate but rough, just rough enough to make sure there would be a mark and there was. It's small and bright pink, a simple mark that'll be gone in two days.

Harrison is next and he follows the same steps SJ did. Careful but precise. He takes his time a little more, making sure to find the right spot and thinking that if Arthur was around, he just needed to believe it. Harrison needed their making out to just look believable. So he took a little more time and the bruise is a little bigger than his and a bright shade of purple by the time he's done and trailing kisses back to SJ's lips. And lucky for the two of them, Mikey was calling out of the upstairs bedroom.

"You guys gonna get a fuckin' room or what?"

SJ pulls away, a lazy smile on her face as her forehead rests against Harrison's for a few seconds. She pulls away from him, leaving his forehead cool. "I'm coming!" she yells as she looks over her shoulder. Mikey shakes his head but his shoulders move with a soft chuckle before he shuts the window. "Right on time."

"Did you plan that, too?" Harrison asks, half joking.

SJ laughs, shaking her head. "Nah, I'm good but not that good."

A sheepish smile forms on Harrison's face. "Good."

"Well, it was fun tonight but I will see you later." SJ grins, tapping Harrison's chest.

"Yeah, have a good night, SJ."

"You, too." SJ gives one nod. "Good luck with Tom." Her smile falls a little and she's sincere. "I hope he isn't mad."

"You and me both." Harrison agreed.

"Say what you have to if you need to tomorrow with Arthur. Dude won't come after me." SJ wiggles her brows with the statement.

"You're not going to explain that, are you?" Harrison asks as he watches her make the walk up the walkway.

"Nope, not yet anyway." SJ turns and gives Harrison a cocky smirk. "Maybe another time."

"Alright." Harrison shakes his head, the smile not leaving his face. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." SJ says before she opens the door and allows herself inside.

Despite smiles and airy words, SJ's gut is consumed in guilt. Her plan was to get into Tom's head but it is wrong. It's wrong for many, many reasons but mostly Arthur. She wanted out because of him but it was too late and now Tom is going to get mad and will likely be distracted. It's proof SJ needs to take a breath, look at things from all angles before making rash decisions. She's sure to take note of that if there's a next time. If she makes this work, can think of a plan that will work this time and benefit her, Tom, and Harrison. That's the only way now. The only way everything will be worth it.

By the time Harrison got home, Tom was asleep. It was truly lucky for him because he did not want to deal with what Tom was going to say. Harrison had the drive to figure out what he could tell Tom and what he couldn't but every run through of a conversation lead to Harrison just explaining everything. Harrison knows it's the guilt of everything but that doesn't make him feel any better. Tom will get over it. Tom will be fine, especially when Harrison can tell Tom everything but in the time he can't, it's going to be a living hell.

The next morning came around and Harrison and Tom were shuffling around their apartment getting ready for work. It seemed like a normal morning besides the undying tension.

Harrison woke up before Tom so he's yet to sit down and talk to him, tell him what the date pertained. He wanted time to tell him what happened, to tell him before he sees the already fading pink mark.

"That a bloody hickey?" Tom asks, coming into the kitchen dressed in a navy blue button up and grey dress slacks.

"Oh..." Harrison says, hand coming up to his neck. "Yeah."

Tom scoffs, moving around the kitchen to grab himself coffee and to-go bar. "She really into then, yeah?"

Harrison shakes his head even though Tom can't see him. "She's into you."

SJ said not to tell Tom what she said and he won't. Telling Tom she's into him isn't exactly what she said not to tell him. SJ can bend rules and find loopholes, Harrison can, too.

"Doesn't seem like it." Tom's voice is stone cold.

"She is. Asked her myself." Harrison tries.

"Doesn't matter." Tom brushes it off but his voice says it does matter.

It always matters. People's feelings matter whether anyone wants to admit them or not. The circumstances don't matter but feelings do. Tom's feelings for SJ matter, especially to Harrison. The only person who doesn't care is Arthur and he doesn't care because it doesn't benefit him to care about how Tom feels and what's really best for him. But, Tom can't let how he feels matters. Arthur scares the hell out of him and rightfully so. Arthur doesn't want Tom talking to SJ and he has to obey that out of fear of what Arthur will do to him if he doesn't. Tom's jealous but there's nothing he can do about it.

"Yeah, it does." Harrison states.

"It doens't." Tom presses, turning around with Harrison's coffee mug in hand.

"Why not? Seems like it does." Harrison takes the mug from Tom while Tom finishes pouring himself his own coffee.

"Just doens't, alright?" Tom snaps and Harrison just nods.

"Alright, got it." Harrison's eyes are wide, caught off guard but just slightly annoyed at Tom's snapping.

Harrison did deserve it in his mind. To Harrison, he deserved every nasty attitude Tom could throw but Tom doesn't know that. Harrison thinks he deserves it for how he's lying and just not telling Tom things that maybe he does need to know. But, Tom doesn't know any of that. Tom just thinks Harrison and SJ are into each other. That's it. Harrison wishes it were that fucking shallow.

Harrison and Tom drop the conversation as they head to work. It's silent unlike most days and part of Harrison wants to ask again. He knows it matters but there's something more going on than what Harrison thinks. Tom's only been mad at Harrison for a day but he's never acted like this. Even when Tom is angry, he still runs his mouth. It's just what he does. So, Harrison has to wonder about what SJ said and if there's  more to Tom, more Tom isn't telling him and it's eating him the same way it's eating Harrison. But, maybe he's just paranoid now.

They get to the office and before Harrison can even sit down, he's being called into Arthur's office. A look of worry consumes Tom, one completely replacing the annoyance and distant expression.

"What's he want?" Tom asks.

Harrison shrugs, playing coy. "No clue." Harrison states. Tom nods once but doesn't explain his sudden mood switch. "Something up?"

Tom shakes his head and takes his seat. "No."

Harrison brushes it off as his paranoia for his own sanity. He goes into the large office with glass doors and window covered with elegant shades, something that's maybe a little too much for an office. He knocks a few times before Arthur opens the door and allows him inside. Arthur gestures for Harrison to take a seat but he doesn't. Harrison remains standing, feeling a better sense of security.

"Okay, we'll stand." Arthur scoffs as he leans against the end of his mahogany desk.

"Yes?" Harrison says, wanting to get whatever Arthur wanted out of the way.

"How was the date?" Arthur asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fine." Harrison says plainly, crossing his own arms.

"I see that." Arthur point to the pink mark. "Keep it up."

Harrison shakes his head. "No."

"No?" Arthur repeats almost dumbfounded.

It's been a day and Harrison is already tired. He doens't want to date SJ. He had hope that they could just do the one date and call it quits, just be friends like SJ said until she thought of a way to get everyone out of this big mess but Arthur is allowing that to backfire. Harrison doesn't want it. He'll take whatever Arthur is going to throw at him. If what SJ said is true, even part of it, Arthur won't fuck with Harrison too bad. He'll need Harrison by the end so he can't do anything. Harrison can be defiant and not worry as much. He's putting a little too much faith in SJ but sometimes people need to just take a leap and hope for the best.

"No. She's not even into me. She's into Tom and he's into her. So, no. I'm not fucking around with her." Harrison blurts it out for Tom's sake.

They're both into each other and the worst possible thing Arthur can do is make Tom do exactly what Harrison did and in which case, it'd likely just benefit the both of them. Harrison knows Tom better than anyone and if Harrison doesn't straighten this out now, Tom is just going to spiral from feeling betrayed and whatever else could possibly be going through his head.

"What's with the hickey then?" Arthur challenges.

"She had a bit to drink and wanted to make Tom jealous. I played along because you said you were watching." Harrison remarks, voice not quite snarky but not polite either.

Arthur uncrosses on arm, holding a finger to his lips as if to be thinking. "She likes Tom, huh?"

Harrison nods. "Yeah."

Arthur nods but he gains this expression that makes Harrison's stomach turn. "Go to work."

Harrison shakes his head but doesn't bother saying anything else. Maybe he shouldn't have told Arthur. Truthfully, Harrison has no idea what he's doing. What the right thing to do is. Everything seemed easier just the other day but now it just looks like a trainwreck. Harrison feels like he's been dragged down an endless pit and he's dragging Tom with him but Tom doesn't even know he's doomed yet. It's exhausting.

When Harrison takes his seat in the cubby behind Tom's, Tom peaks over the divider with a raised brow.

"Everything alright?" Tom asks and Harrison has never heard that kind of worry in Tom's voice before.

"Fine, why?" Harrison asks and it's a good thing he's a better liar than Tom.

Tom shakes his head. "Checkin'." Tom brushes it off but Tom's a terrible liar. "Sorry, for earlier."

Harrison shakes his head. "'S alright. Be pretty pissed if I were you." There's a smile coming to Harrison's face and Tom matches it.

Tom nods with an apologetic smile before disappearing behind the divider again. Tom feels guilty for being pissed and he knows he doens't have a leg to stand on about it. So he did owe Harrison an apology. Plus, it doesn't help that Arthur calling Harrison into his office freaked Tom out enough to just shove it all to the side. Tom knows what Arthur is capable of and he doesn't want Harrison to deal with it. Tom has to push it all aside and remain level-headed with Harrison. However, he doesn't have to with SJ.

If SJ is into Tom like Harrison says she is, why would she go on a date with Harrison? Tom's only conclusion is because she's fucking with him and that doesn't sit quite well with him.

The workday progresses and before Tom even knows it, he's making his way out of the building and heading right for the gym. Harrison is going home first so it's just him and Tom is just hoping that SJ is either working or working out and he can talk to her. He might not be able to get with her but he can try and make sure she isn't just screwing with Harrison to get to him. It goes against what Arthur said but Tom hopes that Arthur either won't know or will actually believe him that he was just watching out for Harrison. Arthur's thought process is always up in the air.

SJ is gathering her things, staring at the clock and waiting for the second she can clock out. It's been a long day and it's not over yet. She still has one more thing she needs to take care of and it's the thing she's been dreading and will dread every single week. But, because her day has seemed to go so well, before she can clock out, the glass door to the building opens and in walks Tom dressed in his office clothes. Tom spots her at the counter and doesn't waste any time before approaching her.

"I need to talk to you." Tom's words are harsh, similar to how SJ sounded the first time she talked to him.

"Can it wait like two minutes?" SJ snarks.

"Yeah." Tom nods, fingers tapping on the counter and SJ can't tell if it's nerves or annoyance, maybe both.

"You can change first?" SJ points out his bag hanging from his shoulder.

Tom nods and his jaw clenches before he walks away. You rolled her eyes and can only assume it's something about Harrison. Based on Tom's mannerisms, she's gonna guess it's not because Harrison told him anything but because of the hickie.

If it were anyone else, she'd be fine it'd be working but it just has to be him and she hates that he makes her feel guilty for ever thinking anything was a good idea. And she hates him for being nice when they talked and being so damn comfortable. SJ didn't know it was possible to just...fall. But here she is and she's going to ignore it as much as humanly possible.

SJ clocks out and waits for Tom by the counter, constantly checking her phone for the time. She'll be late if he doesn't hurry up. She's already late as it is and she's already going to get an ear full if not more. So why is she bothering to give Tom the time of day? Maybe it's the thrill.

"What're you doin'?" Tom blurts out, catching SJ off guard as she pries her eyes away from her phone.

"You really do come out of fucking nowhere, you know that?" SJ retorts, heading for the door, holding it open as she walks through so it doesn't shut in Tom's face. "What do you want?"

Tom keeps up with her, not even caring that they're walking away from the gym. "Do you really like him? Or are yo fuckin' with him?"

SJ groans and turns, Tom almost running into her. "Are you fucking with me? That's what you're pissy about? Dude, get the fuck over it."

"You didn't answer the bloody question."

"Are you jealous?" SJ tilts her head but there's not a playful glint in her eyes or smile coming to her face. Her brows are pulled together and her mouth is in a tight line.

"Don't fuck with him." Tom says, the small distance between them closing as he steps forward. "Didn't do fuckin' shit."

SJ can feel his breath on her cool skin and goosebumps rise to her arms. He smells of like Armani and she's never been this close to him and she hates it because she wants to be closer.

"Look, Pretty Boy, I got shit to do so if you're gonna bitch about this, go bitch to someone who gives a fuck." SJ's eyes glance down Tom until they meet back up to his eyes.

There's silence between the two of them. They're standing in the middle of the sidewalk as cars pass and the sounds of the city surround them. Eye contact doesn't break as if they're battling to see who will cave first and Tom hates himself because he swears that she's playing him and Harrison like her own personal fiddle but he still finds himself getting lost with her. It's so unfair that people can just...fall for no reason. No reason at all. People just gravitate towards each other and maybe it's fate or maybe it's something totally different but whatever it is, it can totally suck. But, Tom doesn't move. SJ doesn't move. There's just this tension that feels like a rubber band about to snap.

"What happened the other night? We talked and I thought we were fine but you've turned around to flirt with my best mate. Why?" Tom asks, stance remaining still but his voice changes away from the accusation tone to one of curiosity and genuine ache.

"What part of you're my competition are not getting? You think you know what the fuck is going on here and you have no-"

"The fuck I do!" Tom yells, looking up to not yell directly in her face. "I get it, competition but Harrison comes home to tell me you're into me but you're giving him hickies. Kind game are you playin' and  _why_?"

SJ hesitates. For the first time with Tom, she hesitates. Hesitation gets people hurt but he doesn't know. He thinks he knows and SJ knows why. And she is into him but that doesn't mean anything, just like what she told Harrison. It can't mean anything because she can't fight someone she gives a shit about. But, she finds her herself owing him something.

SJ lets her voice become grounded, understanding. " _I know what Arthur did to you_."

Tom's heart stops and plummets. It feels like he's just been hit by a freight train derailing at top speed. She can't know anything. How could she possibly know anything at all? She's just some girl who's fighting. But the look of pure sorrow written across her face tells Tom she's not lying. She knows.

"What?" Tom croaks. "W-what do-what do you mean? He didn't...what?"

"Okay." SJ nods but her tone doens't change. "I know what he did. I know what he's going to do to you if you don't win and for that, I'm sorry. So, if I were you, I'd do whatever the fuck he says. Don't worry about other fuckin' shit, alright? Just do what he says."

"What'd he do to you?" Tom comes back but it's the same tone SJ is holding.

SJ looks away and takes a step backward. "What  _hasn't_  he done?"

Tom's heart aches and he feel a lump forming in his throat for her. If Arthur did anything close to what he's done to Tom, Tom understands why SJ is the way she is. He doesn't need any more backstory.

"Are you okay?" Tom asks and he takes another step forward.

"I have to get some shit done. Are you okay?" SJ asks.

Tom runs a hand through his hair before dragging it down his face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You keep telling yourself that, Pretty Boy." SJ sighs and there's this sense of understanding SJ can feel herself wanting to run to. She wants to run to someone who knows. But she can't. She can't but not for her. " I have to go." SJ turns away before Tom can stop her.

"SJ!" Tom hollers after her.

"Go train." SJ turns around but keeps walking. "You'll need it!"

SJ turns back around and leaves Tom to himself. She said a little too much but she isn't thinking straight. That's the problem getting involved this deep with people and their business. She doesn't think straight and she messes up. But, now the only thing she can do is hope she didn't say too much and Tom will be too worried to say anything out of fear for exposing himself. For ruining his chances of making it out of this.

SJ arrives at Ian's after a twenty-minute walk. She opens the gated door before knocking, loud music is heard from outside of the house and she knows what that means. SJ should have just stopped by on her break even if it meant she would have been late. The door opens and Ian welcomes her inside.

Smoke filled the small living room, a few people scattered about looking high out of their minds. SJ can only guess what they're on and how much of it they took. Drug use, not something she ever understood. SJ watches her step over the tan carpet where a few dishes and cans lay scattered as she follows Ian to a room that should be a small dining room. SJ slings off her bag and digs through it, pulling out an envelope.

"Here." She hands it over.

Ian opens it to see the money and a smile crosses his face. "What took you so long?" Ian asks.

"Tuesday, man. Took all of two days." SJ retorts.

Ian's eyes darken and it's like a switch was flipped. Before SJ can even say an apology, Ian's hands are coming to her throat and pinning her against the nearest wall. Her eyes shut from the impact and she kicks to try and hit Ian's shins but nothing. She claws at his arms but her nails are too short to do any damage. Tears trickle behind her eyes as her throat is being crushed. Her head starts spinning and panic sets in that he's on something and she's not sure if he'll lighten up.

She should have come with Mikey. Mikey never lets her go alone and this is why. Ian's an idiot but he doesn't fuck around and Mikey was always there to make sure Ian kept his hands away from her but now it's just her.

Ian's grip finally loosens and SJ gasps for air. "Don't smart off."

"Mikey....had to get it." SJ chokes out. "I'm not....allowed."

Ian lets go completely and SJ falls to floor coughing and trying to get oxygen back into her lungs. "Better not be late."

"Got it." SJ's voice comes out hoarse.

Ian goes back to the money, leaving SJ on the floor to let her get back to breathing correctly. He shuffles through it, counting it. "Keep this up and you and your pretty little friends will be just fine." A sinister smile comes to his lips and SJ needs to think of a plan sooner rather than later to save her ass.

SJ gains her footing, standing back up. "Not a problem."


	8. emotional tether

Rain pelted down, slowly seeping through SJ's hoodie. Shivers ran down her spine as the wind picked up and thunder rolled through the city sky. It's after midnight, which is far too late to be outside. It's wet and gross and cold. Her body aches and her head hurts. Her throat is sore and her eyes burn with every blink. She can't go home and she doesn't want to go to Mikey and Matty's for the sake of what's left of her sanity.

She's been losing herself for hours, losing track of time and trying to figure out what to do. If she goes home, Travis will be there and she can only hide the bruises in the shape of hands so long. Hoodies only cover so much. He'll know and he cannot know. If she does go to Mikey and Matty's, Matty will freak out, worry and worry constantly, more than he already does. He'll badger for answers SJ doesn't have, and she can't deal with it, not now.

Mikey will lecture and lecture and lecture, repeat everything like a mantra. He'll get on a soapbox about how he's always right and how she shouldn't go places alone. She's strong and can handle herself but she's smaller than a lot of people, Ian being one of them, and he's dangerous. SJ just can't mentally deal with the words of so-called wisdom from her family or friends. That only leaves her with two options.

Continue on and hope police don't take her to a station for "suspicious behavior" or she can make a call. On a list of things SJ doesn't want to do, both of these are pretty high on her list of nopes but the possibility of spending a night in a cold jail cell tops just making the call. Not to mention, at least if he says yes, she'll be warm instead of being left out in the pouring rain.

SJ fumbles with her phone, trying to shield it from the rain that seems to get heavier with every passing second. Her thumb graces over the screen until she finally finds the right contact and puts the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey," SJ says, uncertainty evident in her voice. "I know it's late and super fucking random but..." She pauses as she looks at the sky, the lightning strike catching her attention. "You can say no..." She trails off as her eyes go to her feet, embarrassment already consuming her.

"What's wrong?" Harrison asks.

"Do...do you think, maybe, I could stay with you tonight? It's okay if not, I can deal. I just  _can't_  go home," Her voice cracks slightly. "Or go to-"

"Yeah, where are you? I'll come get you." Harrison cuts SJ off and she can already hear him rustling on the other end of the line.

"Spencer's Family Diner," SJ says, looking up at the sign she sees far too often. "The one I work at."

"Are you inside?" Harrison asks and she swears she could hear him whisper in the background.

"No, they're closed." Harrison can barely hear her with the softness of her voice muffled by the downpour of the beading rain.

"Okay," A door shuts on the other end of the phone. "Just stay there. I'm on my way."

"Thanks."

"It's no problem." Harrison states with honesty before the line goes dead, leaving SJ alone with her thoughts once more.

SJ leans against the wall of the diner and slowly sinks down. Her jeans and clothes are already soaked and the rain seems to be intensifying with every passing second. It's a little ironic really. She's had a hell of day and now the rain is icing on the cake. SJ has nowhere to go so she just sits in the rain and can feel herself drowning. She's drowning in the cold and the ache of her chest and guilt and dread. Everything is pulling her down and no one dares to notice because if they do, it might get scary.

Mikey had texted her and asked her where she was. She responded with a simple "where I usually am" and that was it. Matty texted her the same thing a few hours later and she responded the same way. Both boys knowing she'd be better left alone, but for once, just one time, she wished her friends would push a little. It's been a long day and it's storming and she's soaked and wants someone to talk to without having to actually say the words and the only person she can blame is herself. SJ can ask for help, but she won't.

SJ pulls her knees to her chest, tugging the hood of her hoodie over her head before crossing her arms and resting them on her knees. Her head lays on her arms and she waits. She waits and thinks, listening to the rain and distant sounds of sirens. Her eyes close and they burn and she can feel tears brimming and her throat tightening. She wants to go home but she's not even sure where home is anymore.

Fifteen long minutes pass as Tom's fingers tap the center console, his leg bouncing anxiously. It takes fifteen minutes to get to the diner and there's a pounding in Tom's chest and twisting in his gut. All he keeps thinking is that SJ  _has to b_ e hurt. Something happened and she's hurt, she's hurt and that's why she can't go home or to her friends. Something bad must have happened and she's scared. SJ is headstrong and always seemingly fearless but Tom doesn't buy it and now he's afraid this is going to prove him right.

The diner comes into view and Tom is already reaching for the door handle. In the dim light of streetlights and neon lights, he can see SJ hunched over against the wall as Harrison pulls against the curb. Before Harrison can even put the car in park, Tom is already opening the car door, disregarding it and leaving it open as he rushes to SJ.

His heart plummets to the pit of his stomach as he slows down and kneels in front of her, paying the pouring rain no attention. "Hey," Tom whispers, carefully reaching for her arm as her head shoots up. Her eyes widen like a deer in headlights and Tom gets a look at her red eyes and makeup stained cheeks. "What happened?" He asks and it's rushed but stern with worry. "Are you hurt?" He leans closer to her, hands gently and slowly coming to either side of her face.

SJ doesn't budge. She just stares at Tom in a state of utter shock. She called Harrison, not Tom. And while she wants to know why he's here, she can't bring herself to ask or even be mad. And if she were to just be honest with herself, she's  _happy_  Tom is here. But, she is so utterly terrified because he can't know what happened and that's why she called Harrison.

"SJ?" Tom asks, more concern showing in his voice. " _Are you hurt_?" He enunciates more as if trying to get through to her. She shakes her head, afraid to speak and thankful for the terrible lighting that's surely concealing her neck along with her hoodie. "C'mon, then." Tom removes his hands slowly and moves them to hers, helping SJ to her feet. "You're soaked."

SJ holds onto Tom's calloused hands as she gets to her feet. "So are you." She says, voice slightly hoarse and shallow.

"'S alright." Tom sighs, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, holding her close to him as if that were going to shield her from the pelting rain.

Harrison is quick to open the back door of the car, receiving a thankful glance before Tom helps SJ in the car. Harrison had decided to wait outside the car, letting Tom talk to her first. Sure, she called him, but he knew she needed to see that Tom really cares and worries about her for whatever reason. Him staying back and allowing Tom to handle her, let her see that, it allowed her to see that despite knowing nothing, Tom will show up and he cares. Sometimes, people just need to know someone else cares.

No one exchanges words as Tom follows SJ into the back of the car. There's the lingering thought of Arthur in the back of his head. Arthur could find out about this but for some unknown reason, Tom can't find it in himself to care enough. People don't call other people for help when they have a place to go. People don't sit in the pouring rain in early October for the fun of it. He'll pay for it if Arthur finds out but he couldn't care less at the moment.

SJ shivers beside Tom as Harrison starts the drive to their apartment. Harrison notices in the rearview mirror and turns up the heat while Tom pulls her closer to him. SJ doesn't fight him, instead, she leans into him and allows his arms to engulf her.

His clothes are nearly as wet as hers but he's still warm like a human radiator. And he smells like Woody's but not strong and overpowering, just enough to have a scent. His arms are strong and comforting under the blue hoodie that compliments his skin. SJ's eyes close and he's just so warm and he reminds her of what home used to feel like and she can't help but think of how ironic it is but she says nothing. She stays silent and just lets herself just be, just be in that moment with rain thudding against the roof of the car and streaming down the windows.

The car comes to a stop outside of a massive apartment building. SJ lifts her head from Tom's shoulder as his arms slowly release her. She looks outside as Tom opens the door and, normally, she'd have an off-handed remark about West Loop apartments but not tonight. Tonight, SJ is just happy she doesn't have to go home or face her friends. She'll take the night here.

Tom helps her out of the car and SJ adjusts her hoodie over her head, making sure to tug the strings and try and keep the fabric concealing as much of her neck as possible. Harrison meets them around the front of the car and the three of them make their way into the building. SJ doesn't pay attention to the entrance, keeping her head low and trying to keep her shivering to a minimum.

They get into the elevator and Harrison presses the fifth floor, allowing the metal box to take them up. Tom crosses his arms over himself, his shivering becoming evident as well and SJ feels bad for him even being in the rain just to check on her. She should have been paying attention and just gotten up when the car pulled up but she was lost in her own head, running through scenarios and lies as to how the bruising happened, all of them coming up blank and bullshit.

The elevator doors open and Harrison is the first one out, followed by SJ, and then Tom. The three head to the end of the hall to the last apartment on the right and Harrison unlocks it, allowing all of them inside. The hallway is narrow but short, leading directly into the kitchen.

"I'm gonna get you some clothes, alright?" Harrison says, turning his attention to SJ.

"Thanks." SJ whispers, hands tucking inside the wet pocket of her hoodie.

SJ looks around as Harrison makes his way down the hallway and into the back bedroom. Her eyes scan over the kitchen. There's a marble island with three black chairs, two beers, a half-eaten sandwich. The kitchen connects to the living room, both rooms have floor to ceiling windows that give Tom and Harrison a beautiful view of the city landscape. The apartment is mostly decorated in shades of navy, white, silver, and black. Elegant and modern, yet cozy. It's nice, beautiful, really.

Tom watches SJ look around and he feels a little uneasy based on her first reaction to him. She judged his clothes, his shoes, even his hair product which he still doesn't know how she knew such a tiny detail. So, he can only imagine what she's thinking looking around. But, it's when she walks in the space where the kitchen and living room meet to stand in front of one of the large windows, Tom sees it.

SJ keeps her stare at the windows, watching the rain and lightning as Tom walks closer to her. SJ catches him walking closer and catches where his stare is. Her hands come up and immediately yank the hood closer to her neck, pulling at the strings. He walks to her, steps slow and careful, and lightly pulls at the fabric of her hood still covering her head. SJ freezes and her heart stops as Tom pulls the fabric off of her head, revealing a large blue and purple bruise, an imprint of fingers surrounding her neck.

Tom's brows furrow but her actions don't stop him. He stands in front of her, blocking her view of the city and his heart shatters. With the storm and dim lighting, he didn't see the bruise on the street or in the car, not even in the elevator with him facing forward. But, now, standing in front of her, he's getting a full face view of purple and blue consuming the front of her neck and going to the sides.

SJ dodges his stare, her eyes looking to the side and Tom pulls the hoodie from her neck, revealing the entire bruise. The bruise spreads from a large blotch at the front of her neck into finger-shaped branches all around either side. A lump forms in SJ's throat and her eyes start to burn once more as Tom looks at the damage, horrified. His hands come up and cup her face.

"What happened?" His voice is a gentle whisper.

SJ's eyes meet his and she feels like she could fall and like she can breathe. The constant state of static in her head seems to fade as Tom looks at her like she's more than just someone to dispose of, someone to use until he gets whatever he wants. He looks at her like she's a person, a genuine human being with real feelings and a life outside of a boxing ring. Tom looks at her how she wishes other people would look at her, seeing more than just a trophy, a piece of meat, or a step stool. A person.

She hesitates. She hesitates and tears are so close to falling as Tom's thumbs brush over her cheeks, being patient and waiting for her to be ready to tell him. He wants to know who did this but he won't push and pull because she's like him. SJ won't say anything if she doesn't want to, especially if it's being pulled from her. So, he just cups her face and allows the air to be silent with unspoken words and eye contact.

Tom's damp curls fall onto his forehead and SJ hates that she feels like he's so comfortable and like nothing matters. He feels so safe despite the fact that he isn't. He's involved in horrible things, dangerous things, but with his hands holding her face and gentle eyes patiently waiting, he feels like the safest place on the planet and her heart aches for him.

Harrison walks back, seeing the two of them just standing there and Harrison feels for his friend and SJ. It's all taking place under such unfortunate circumstances because Tom is looking at her like Harrison has never seen him look at anyone before. It's the kind of longing gaze Harrison could swear he'd only ever seen in one of those cliche romance movies but it's certainly the look that speaks volumes. But, while he wishes things were different for the two of them, they're not so he takes step forward.

Harrison clears his throat and SJ quickly backs away from Tom, looking at Harrison. "Uh...here." Harrison sticks out the clothes on his hand.

"Thanks." SJ nods, taking them from him, her face turning a vibrant shade of red. Harrison's eyes catch the darker shade of skin around her neck and his mouth opens slightly but before he gets a chance to ask a single question, SJ cuts him off. "Bathroom?"

"Oh, right." Harrison shakes his head, pointing over his shoulder. "Down the hall, on the left, opposite the bedroom."

SJ nods curtly and makes her way away from the boys. Harrison and Tom watch her disappear around the corner and into the bathroom. They remain silent until they hear the sound of the door shut. Harrison looks back to Tom and Tom shrugs, making his way around the island and to the fridge.

"What...was that?" Harrison asks.

"Dunno." Tom answers. "Looks like someone choked her." His voice is taut but with specks of worry.

"Yeah, saw that." Harrison says, looking to the counter and back to Tom who still had the fridge open.

"What're you gonna do?" Tom mutters, closing the fridge, realizing he was mindlessly looking at the scattered food and beverages on the shelving.

Harrison's brows pull together. "What?"

"She called you." Tom states matter-of-factly. "What're you gonna do?"

"Let her sleep here." Harrison responds. "If it's alright with you."

Tom nods. "Yeah." He says shortly. "I mean, you know." Tom jerks his head and rolls his shoulders.

"Let her talk if she wants, but, mate, I'm not making her tell me what happened but you seemed to be having a moment so why don't you talk to her?" Harrison tries to be the voice of reason.

Tom shakes his head. "Called you." Tom repeats the same phrase, but he's not sounding jealous or even annoyed, his voice remains with worry as if he just wants to know what happened and if she's really okay.

Harrison nods. "She did but  _she likes you_." Harrison reminds Tom.

Tom scoffs. "Doesn't matter."

"Why do you keep saying that?" Harrison asks, rolling his eyes. Tom dodges his stare and licks his lips, going back to the fridge, desperate for some kind of distraction. "Finish your sandwich." Harrison pushes the plate to Tom.

"Arthur told me to stay away from her, the night I went to talk to her." Tom admits.

Harrison groans and he can feel his blood start to boil. "'Course he did, fuckin' bastard." Harrison grits his teeth. "Well, fuck it, yeah? Sit down and have a conversation. He isn't here." Harrison reminds him.

Normally Harrison would be against convincing Tom to do anything that could get him hurt but they're inside their own home and they were already outside on the street with her, even if Arthur is keeping that close of an eye on them. And, if it comes to it, Harrison will find a way to get in front of Tom and stand up to Arthur. Tom doesn't know anything yet, Harrison managing to not say anything of what SJ told him, but he should know and maybe if SJ can talk to him, really talk to him, she'd let Tom in on what's going on.

Tom sighs, pulling out a green bottle containing beer. He looks to Harrison and he seems to be distancing himself but Harrison doesn't get the chance to ask. "If she wants to talk, I'll listen." Tom says.

"Good." Harrison responds, taking the bottle from Tom. He smirks, taking a swig.

"Was gonna drink that." Tom remarks, rolling his eyes and going back to the fridge.

"You have half a bottle." Harrison picks up the bottle beside him, swaying it, causing the contents to swirl.

"It's warm." Tom grumbles and Harrison just laughs, shaking his head.

"Well, dump it at least." Harrison hands him the bottle with a low chuckle before the two hear the bathroom door open.

They immediately stop talking, and Harrison peaks around the corner while Tom dumps the contents of the warm bottle. SJ's hair is tied up in a messy bun, the blue streaks mostly hidden within the black and the bright aqua hoodie Harrison loaned her stands out against the dark blue pajama pants. She looks like she's swimming in his clothes but she looks comfortable, perfectly content, except for the dark bruise peeking out over the pretty blue.

SJ looks up, clothes in hand, and meets Harrison's stare. "Laundry?" She asks. "I'll pay you for the detergent and stuff." SJ rattles off and both boys look at each other in confusion.

"You don't have to pay to wash your clothes." Tom moves from the sink, SJ coming into view as he approaches her. "We've clothes that need to go in anyway."

He gently takes the clothes from her as if she's a fragile porcelain doll. "Thanks, Tom." SJ says and her cheeks are turning the prettiest shade of pink.

"You're welcome." Tom gives her a smile before disappearing down the hallway.

SJ walks into the kitchen area and pulls out the chair beside Harrison, taking a seat. She takes a deep breath and pulls her phone out from the hoodie pocket, sliding away to her messages. Harrison quietly watches her for a few seconds before taking a quick sip of beer and looking to her neck.

"You alright?"

SJ nods, her thumbs typing a message. "Yeah," She says and her voice is croaky. "I-I-I, uh, I-I, fuck," She swears in frustration before taking a deep breath, beyond annoyed with the stutter. "I didn't know....you guys lived together." She whispers.

Harrison just chuckles. "Yeah, kind of left that detail out."

SJ can't help but smile as she rolls her eyes. "How convenient."

Harrison nudges her with his shoulder. "Didn't seem important."

SJ glances at him, shaking her head. "It's not."

"Not mad?" Harrison asks.

"No," She shakes her head simply. "You picked me up in the pouring rain after midnight and then loaned me your clothes and said I could stay here. I'm not mad."

Harrison takes another drink of his beer, SJ watching him but before either of them could say anything else, Tom came walking back in this time in blue plaid pajama pants, similar to the ones SJ is wearing, and a plain white t-shirt. He gives SJ a timid but kind smile that sends her stomach twirling like a ballerina. She returned the smile before focusing her attention on the countertop.

"Why don't we get you something to drink? Eat maybe?" Harrison offers. "And you can tell us what happened?" The question comes off as an offer, not a demand or plea for any answers.

Tom opens the fridge and starts getting another bottle but SJ stops him. "I, uh, I don't drink." SJ bites her lip, seemingly embarrassed over something as small as a beverage making Tom question everything he's assumed about her. Sometimes, headstrong people are just the people who are the most broken and put up a front to keep their pieces from falling apart. "Water, though."

"Right, yeah, yeah, okay."Tom nods, putting the beer back and swapping it out for a water. He slides the bottle to her and she nods as a thank you, grabbing it and twisting at the top, showing the bruising and scabs across a few of her knuckles. "Food?" Tom asks.

SJ shakes her head. "Not hungry." She mutters before taking a small drink of her water, her throat burning as the water goes down. She winces and Tom exchanges a meaningful look with Harrison, wordlessly agreeing to help her.

"C'mon, couch is more comfortable." Harrison jerks his head behind them towards the living room.

SJ gets up and follows Harrison while Tom stays behind to close the blinds to the windows in the kitchen. SJ takes a seat and Harrison works on the blinds around the living room. The TV is playing old episodes of NCIS. SJ pulls her feet up, sitting cross-legged as her phone goes off. She checks it to see it's from Mikey texting her back but all she does is roll her eyes and lock it, shoving it into her pocket. The boys finish closing the blinds and Harrison takes a seat in the chair to the side while Tom takes a seat on the opposite side of the couch.

"So," Harrison breaks the silence. "What happened?"

SJ raises her brows and shakes her head. "Nothing."

Tom's eyes narrow as he huffs, SJ and Harrison turning to him. "You've fingerprints around your neck. I wouldn't call that nothing."

SJ sighs and she hates speaking. "I smarted off to the wrong person and I shouldn't have."

"That's no reason to fuckin' choke someone." Tom blurts out in annoyance. "Don't care what you've done, you shouldn't be choked."

"Yeah..." SJ says, looking away from Tom. "Can't go home because Travis will figure out what I'm doing and he'll just..." SJ hesitates, letting out a breath. "He'll be annoying about it and likely turn me in at this point and I can't go stay with Mikey and Matty because I'll get a lecture from hell and I just can't do it. Not...not tonight."

"Why not?" Harrison asks. "You guys seem about as close as us."

SJ shakes her head and looks to Tom, whose eyes haven't left her. She's reluctant on telling them her backstory. That's all anyone ever wants to hear. The backstory to why people are the way they are, what made people start keeping to themselves. People are addicted to tragedy.

"Guy I owe money to. I smarted off, he got pissed, pinned me to a wall." SJ admits, figuring she might as well give them something. They were nice enough to come and get her, she owes them an explanation.

Tom wants to push for more but it's like he can almost visibly see her getting cement and bricks, building up a wall higher to make sure him and Harrison don't get through it. What happened, whatever this night means, broke her wall down enough for her to call Harrison for help and enough for her to literally lean on Tom. But, minutes pass, time passes, questions get asked and the wall goes right back up only fifteen times stronger. So, Tom doesn't ask anymore and he shoots Harrison a glare, silently warning him not to ask anything.

"Are you okay, though?" Tom asks and there's a glimpse of adoration in his voice.

SJ looks to him and lies through her teeth with the faintest nod Tom has ever seen. "Yeah, always."

Tom nods, opting out of pushing. "Okay," He says, looking to Harrison and back to her. "Should let you sleep, ya? Get you a blanket."

SJ nods softly. "That'd be great."

Tom gets up and Harrison lingers a bit longer. "You really alright?"

SJ looks up, swallowing a lump before biting her lip. "Always." She forces a smile and Harrison just tilts his head.

"I'm the room at the end of the hall, Tom's beside the bathroom if you need either us, alright?" Harrison gets up and walks over to her.

"Okay." SJ says quietly. Harrison lowers his gaze in understanding as he heads out of the living room.

Tom comes back down the hallway and into the living room, handing SJ a pillow and a blanket. He explains he'll be right down the hall if she needs him. She thanks him and he leaves her alone. There seems to be a little bit of reluctance in his steps but he pushes past it, wanting to just give her space.

He wants to stay in the living room with her but he doesn't. He doesn't because he's respecting her personal space and showing her know he's not going to push. It's hard but it's one in the morning and Tom's chest hurts. So, he climbs into bed and gets comfortable, trying to get some sleep.

SJ manages to fall asleep but she wasn't asleep longer than an hour before her heart started pounding and her eyes were squeezing shut and she was shooting up in pure panic. Her breath heaves with every second and her hand goes to her neck. Stinging consumes her eyes and she can feel the tears coming.

Nightmares are scary as they are. Sometimes, they're so real. They're so real that the details are almost sickening, worse than a high budget, blockbuster gore film. Everything feels like it can be touched, there's a physical ache in the person's chest, and just panic streaming through their veins as if a dam had broken. It always seems real but once the person wakes up and starts thinking about it, putting everything together, they come to realize how utterly unrealistic everything was. Every detail, even the ones that seemed to be the most believable, are actually the least truthful. But, those are normal nightmares. So, when SJ is sitting in the living room, almost paralyzed from a nightmare of Ian choking her, it's real. It did happen and she just got to relive it in a dream. The scariest nightmares are the ones that are real and the ones that can't be escaped.

SJ's heart rate slowly starts to come back to normal until she hears a siren in the distance and her heart rate immediately spikes again, causing a tear to fall down her cheek. She swears to herself, frustrated that she's so scared in the unfamiliar living room, that she's scared of something that already happened. She hates being scared and yet she so terrified all the time.  _Almost_  all the time.

SJ wipes her eyes before grabbing the blanket and pillow, pulling out her phone to use it as a flashlight and heads down the hallway. She stops in front of the white door and sucks in a harsh breath. Her fist comes up and she knocks but as she's knocking, she questions why she's even bothering because surely, he's asleep. A simple knock won't wake him up. At least, it doesn't wake up most people.

The doorknob turns and SJ's eyes widen in bits of relief and soft fear. The door opens and he looks at her, his eyes filled with sadness. She feels guilty because she swears she woke him up by the sight of his messy curls and she feels stupid for having to do this. But he wasn't sleeping. He couldn't sleep with the gnawing in the pit of his stomach. He tossed and turned but couldn't get quite comfortable or relaxed to fall asleep. But, that doesn't matter because he can see the panic across her face with her eyes glossy and sad. She can't hide her panic or the glossiness of her eyes. SJ can try but she won't be able to and it doesn't matter because he sees through the facade.

"You alright, darlin'?" Tom asks. SJ shakes her head, her lip barely quivering as she tries not to cry. "C'm'ere." 


	9. gasoline meets matches

He's warm, so warm he's like walking into a heated home after walking a few blocks in the peak of winter. Tom's safe like a radiator, keeping SJ from getting frostbite. His arms engulf her and her head is pressed against his chest allowing her to hear his heartbeat. Her eyes closed and the two stood in Tom's doorway. His hand came up and rubbed her back with a gentle grace, careful not to put too much pressure on her. She's so delicate against him.

It's an odd sensation for him, to think she's delicate. SJ shows that she's anything but. She lays out guys twice the size of her without even blinking. But, right now, in the moment with only the sound of rain echoing through the apartment, she's fragile like fine lace and Tom would do anything to preserve her. To protect her in every way, from anything he could. He's crazy about her and he doesn't even know why.

SJ picks her up, looking up to him before pressing her forehead against his chest. "C'mon," Tom starts. "Why don't we talk?" Tom asks and SJ looks back to him, nodding just once.

Tom finds a sense of security in the lack of gloss in her eyes and the singular nod. He'd guessed she's willing to talk and maybe that's all she needs, an outsider to listen to her. Sometimes, it's easier to tell people who aren't close to someone things rather than people one is close to. The fear of being judged isn't as present, the fear of being rejected can be better ignored, outsiders tend to have an unbiased opinion. Sometimes, it's just easier to speak and Tom hopes that this is the case.

SJ unwraps her arms from Tom and his soon follow, allowing her to start her walk into his bedroom. Tom's room is tidy, not even an article of clothing on the floor. Just like the kitchen and living room, windows, floor to ceiling, go across the furthest part of his room. Raindrops cascade down the windows reflecting from the city lights outside. A desk sits against the wall beside the windows, a nice place for good light. A decent sized closest is beside the black desk and his bed sits right in the middle and a black dresser matching the desk stands against the wall opposite the windows. His room is just...pleasing.

SJ takes a few steps inside, standing in front of the windows and beside the desk. "Do you normally sleep with your curtains open?" She asks, not looking behind her while Tom shuts the door.

"No," He scoffs with a gentle laugh. "Couldn't sleep." Tom walks up to the side of her, following her gaze. "So..." Tom takes a breath and glances to her. "Are you-"

"I don't wanna talk 'bout it." SJ cuts him off, shaking her head.

He feels safe but safe can be dangerous and SJ already knows she's messing with fire when it comes to him. She knows more of what he's involved with than he does. But, she does find the feeling eating at her, eating at her to just say something and based on the look on his face earlier that day when she called him out about Arthur, Tom is good at keeping secrets. He's good at keeping the ones that matter so SJ could talk to him and deep down she knows that but her walls are set fifteen feet in the air and a mote with raging crocodiles surrounds it. It's safe to stay quiet. The quieter she is, the less likely she'll get hurt, even if it's someone she feels safe with.

"Okay," Tom nods in understanding. "I won't make you." He looks back to her and gives her a timid smile.

He had hope she'd talk to him but not very much. The way he sees it, it's just one step at a time and sometimes it takes time. If he pushes, she won't open up at all so he can respect her boundaries. Asking if she's okay and not making her talk if she doesn't want to, even when his heart is aching throughout his bones for her, that's a part of it. She talks on her own time and Tom'll be there to listen.

"Thanks." SJ returns the smile before looking down to the top of the desk.

Tom's words caught her off guard but in the best way. She's never had someone just be okay with her not talking. Of course, she's had people who simply ask if she's alright and when she says 'always', they drop it. If she says she doesn't want to talk about it, they shrug and move on because at the end of the day, if it's not fucking tragic, people don't care. If it doesn't concern them, they don't care so they always drop it without a second glance. But, Tom, it's different. And SJ knows that because he does understand. To be working with Arthur, he has to understand what it's like to not want to talk about what happened. It's just how it is but nonetheless, she finds herself surprised he just understood and relieved that she isn't going to need to lie or shut down, she can  _breathe_.

White paper with graphite stains and nearly perfectly drawn lines lay on the desk, slightly scattered. There's a desk lap perfectly angled over one of the pieces of paper and a number 2 pencil sits on the right side of the smudged paper. It takes SJ a minute of looking in the dull lighting to figure out exactly what he's been drawing.

She taps the desk with the pads of her fingers. "You design  _furniture_?" She asks as she gets a better look at the work that's laid out.

"You're gonna think it's lame." Tom chortles, walking beside her and looking over his work, slight embarrassment showing on his cheeks.

"Only if you don't do anything with it." SJ retorts with the role of her eyes.

A sense of pride swells in Tom's chest as he runs a hand through his hair and a smile splits his face. "Maybe."

No one has ever said anything close to that. But, then again, Tom doesn't tell very many people about his hobby. Harrison and his family are mainly the only ones who know. It's one of the things he likes to keep to himself.

SJ looks up to him and shakes her head. "Yeah, I get it." She bites her lip before looking back down at his work. Tom's not the only one who keeps his hobby under wraps.

Silence consumes the room as SJ continues to look over what Tom has on his desk. It's all things between desks, chairs, couches, everything anyone can use to furnish a home. And she hopes he does something with it because if he does, he could be extraordinary. More extraordinary than he already is. Everyone becomes so much more when they can express themselves in something they thoroughly enjoy and while Tom might have thought SJ missed the tinting of his cheeks, she didn't. He's proud of his work and he should be. And Tom should show it off to the world, be unstoppable at something he loves. Be him, all of him.

Lightning and thunder rip through the sky, pulling her attention back to the windows. She steps forward a little bit so she can see over the edge where the windows stop. A few cars pass by, nothing out of the ordinary, but her heart starts to speed up.

"Ya know," SJ chuckles to herself. "I don't even like heights."

Tom's brows furrow at the random comment. "Ya? Why d'you keep standing in front of the windows then?" He moves beside her and looks down to her.

SJ looks back to him and her heart jumps to her throat with a sense of anxiety but not necessarily the bad kind. A smirk comes to her mouth as her eyes meet his. "The beauty outweighs the fear."

Tom's brows raise and he matches the smirk. "Anything else outweigh fear?" Tom challenges while his heart starts to race in his chest.

"Stupidity." SJ chortles.

Tom laughs, nodding his head. "Yeah, true." His laugh subsides as his eyes glance from SJ's lips to her eyes. "What else?" His eyes seem to darken with lust, the smile dropping as if knowing exactly what SJ was thinking.

SJ licks her lips and her heart is beating a thousand miles an hour. "Everything." She mutters before closing the small distance between them, cupping his face, and bringing her lips to his.

Tom's hands go right to her hips, fingers digging into her skin as he pulls her flush against him. SJ deepens the kiss as her hands move to his neck, lightly grabbing at the hair of the base of his neck. Tom lets out the softest groan while he pushes her forward so she's just in front of the window but not touching the glass. He reaches over and grabs the string to shut the blinds. With the sound of them closing, SJ can't help but laugh against Tom's lips.

"Like some privacy." Tom mumbles against her, reaching to close the other set of blinds.

"Not complaining." SJ whispers and her voice is drenched with lust.

A smirk crosses her face as she grabs the collar of Tom's shirt and twists the two of them around so his back is towards the window and she can reach the final set of blinds. Tom chuckles before pushing her forward until the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and the two of them collapse, Tom catching himself with an arm. SJ starts shimmying up the bed, Tom following while their lips barely disconnect. Once her head reaches the pillows, she's quick to start tugging at the hem of Tom's shirt.

He pauses for a second. Only a second but SJ sees it. "You okay?" She asks. "We don't have to."

Tom shakes his head and there's a playful smiling dancing onto his face. "No, it's fine." Tom leans up, straddling her legs and tugs his shirt over his head.

"Christ." SJ mutters, taking in his perfectly toned torso.

She's seen him from a distance but up close, that was another story. Of course, she finds his abs attractive, jaw-dropping even, but there's more to that than just appearance. He had to and still has to work to keep up with them. He has to eat right, hit the gym more than usual, constantly keep himself in check just to maintain the toned muscle. That's sexy.

Tom grips the hem of SJ's hoodie and shirt as she comes up. In a quick movement, he's able to get both articles of clothing from her, leaving her torso bare. She lays back down and Tom gets a look at her stomach and ribs, an up-close look rather than far away like in the basement of the club. Bruises liter her skin just like his but there's a scar right above her hip, not large and definitely old but there. None of it phases him with him being used to seeing injuries, with him knowing bits about SJ. He'd be surprised if she didn't have more than one scar. So, he focuses his attention on breasts and then her collarbones, moving up to her neck and then her face.

"Christ." Tom mimics, lips gracing hers.

"Gonna do something about it, Pretty Boy?" SJ giggles, fingers running down Tom's sides.

Tom licks his lips with a huff and a smirk. His brows wiggle before he wraps an arm around her and quickly flips them over, a squeak barely escaping SJ's mouth before Tom's hand covers her lips.

"Sh, you'll wake up Haz." Tom chuckles.

SJ can feel a rush of heat go to her center with Tom's mouth on hers and the thought of having to be quiet. There's always something about the thrill of possibly being caught that turns her on.

"I'll try." SJ mumbles against his hand before kissing it.

Tom removed his hand and SJ bent down to press a deep kiss to his lips, pulling his bottom lip between her teeth. A whimper came from Tom as she slowly pulled away. SJ made her way from his jawline to his collarbones pressing pecks and slow open-mouthed kisses. She continued her journey down his stomach and right above the band of his sweatpants that were now straining against his hard member.

SJ tugs his pants and boxer briefs down with the help of Tom lifting his hips. His cock springs up and SJ wastes no time in closing her hand around it, pumping him soft and slow at first but quickly speeding up. Tom groans and a knot starts forming in his stomach.

"God." Tom growls, hands gripping his sheets.

"That's not at all." SJ whispers with a wink before moving her hand and licking a stripe up the underside of his cock.

"Fuck." Tom moans almost a little too loud.

SJ snickers, her chest filling with pride, before guiding him into her mouth. She takes in as far as she can and Tom throws his head back into the pillow, hips involuntarily bucking up to meet her mouth. SJ starts bobbing her head, swirling her tongue around his head while Tom just starts moaning under her. His hands come to her hair, gripping not too hard while he looks down to her.

The sight of her sucking him off is almost enough for him to come right then but he's determined to hold off. Her hair is already a mess between his fingers but she's fucking gorgeous right there.

Tom's cock starts to twitch and he knows he's close and SJ does, too but she doesn't stop, not until Tom tugs at her hair. She releases him with a pop and devilish smirk.

"Fuck, you're amazing." Tom mutters, pulling her up to him.

"Hmm, I know." SJ remarks, her lips meeting his in a hot kiss.

Tom laughs and shakes his head and his heart just beats for her. Of course, his heart is pounding and his chest is heaving, his head is already in a state of bliss but it's more than that. She's sarcastic and confident even in this setting, she's got her sense of humor and self-awareness even though she's got a bruise covering her entire neck from being choked. She's unlike anyone else and Tom's heart just wants her, wants her like this, and wants the three in the morning conversations she'd never tell anyone else.

One of Tom's hands goes back to her hair pulling her mouth to his and keeping her head there while his other hand travels to the waistband of her pajama pants, quickly slipping inside. His fingers trail over her clothed heat and SJ gasps into his mouth, her fingers gripping his shoulders.

"Hmm," Tom hums against her lips, eyes looking up at her. "Already soaked, huh?"

"What're you gonna do about it, Holland?" SJ challenges with a lustful quiver in her voice.

Tom's eyes darken and he doesn't even answer. He flips both over so he's on top. A quick but deep kiss is pressed to SJ's mouth before Tom works on pulling her bottoms off, tossing them to the floor. He hovers over her and his hand slides between her legs. Tom teases her slit but only for a few seconds before his thumb is working rough circles on her clit.

"Ohh," SJ moans quietly, eyes shut as her head spins and the knot in her stomach grows.

A cocky smile comes to Tom's face while he starts placing open-mouthed kisses to her collarbones. He works down her chest and to one of her breasts. He kisses around her nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking. He looks to her through his lashes and her mouth is slightly parted, chest completely heaving. SJ brings a hand to Tom's hair as he inserts a finger to her center.

"Fuck's sake, Tom. Just fuck me." SJ says and she's almost begging. Tom just hums, speeding up movements and inserting another finger. SJ's breath becomes labored and she sees stars as she can feel her high start to come. "T-tom," SJ moans. "Please."

A satisfied grin is on Tom's face as he removes his hand and mouth to look at her. There's a few beads of sweat on her forehead and her eyes are completely consumed with lust and need. Tom kisses her cheek and reaches into his nightstand for a condom. He tears it open and carefully rolls it onto himself but before he can make a move, SJ moves her hands to his shoulders and rolls them over, allowing her to be on top.

SJ looks down to him and it should be simple. She's had sex plenty of times. It's nothing new but she's smart enough to know that Tom's going to be different. He's going to be different because he's dangerous and he cares. Caring gets people hurt and Tom is going to get himself hurt while hurting other people.

Tom is like gasoline. He can be lethal if mistreated but also incredibly useful when treated right, when treated with respect and SJ is like a match. She's helpful in all sorts of situations. Some serious, others not so much. But she's very useful and just like matches, she's taken for granted until she's gone or all used up. And what happens when gasoline and matches meet? Devastation. SJ and Tom, they're going to be a forest fire.

With her own lust and want clouding her thoughts, SJ smiles down to Tom and lines his member up with her core, sinking down on him. SJ's hands are planted on his chest and Tom's are her hips, the two not moving and allowing her to adjust for a moment. And once she is, she starts riding him.

Minutes pass and SJ's bouncing is becoming weaker and sloppy, her moans are growing louder with Tom's until he pulls her down to his chest.

"Sh, we're gonna wake Harrison." Tom whispers into her ear but his voice is airy yet thick.

"Got it." SJ mutters against his neck. "Quiet." She says.

Tom plants his feet on the bed and starts thrusting into her. The new angle sends a new and satisfying sensation all through SJ's body. She has to bite down on Tom's shoulder to conceal her moans. The coil in her stomach is already ready to snap and she can feel Tom growing closer. He's burying his face in her shoulder, trying to swallow his own grunts and moans while his thrusts are becoming messy.

"Close." SJ moans as her head starts spinning.

"Fuck." Tom moans lowly as he hits his high and with the stuttering of his hips against SJ's, she follows right after.

SJ heaves with Tom as his arms wrap around her. He kisses her shoulder, soothing the skin he'd bitten down on. SJ sits up and she can't help but smile at the boy beneath her. His hair is sticking to his sweaty forehead and there's a blush creeping onto his face. A thin layer of sweat covers his torso and there's something beautiful about him in that moment. Or maybe it's just the post-sex talking but nonetheless, SJ smiles and nods, kissing him quickly before getting off of him.

"That was-"

"Yeah." SJ cuts him off.

"Wow." Tom says in a breath, turning his head to look at her.

"Mhm," She hums, cheeks aching from smiling. "Well," She bites her lip. "I'ma go to the bathroom." She lightly pats his chest before getting up.

SJ quickly finds her clothes and tosses them on before heading to the bathroom. Tom takes care of the condom before putting his clothes back on and taking a breather. He's in a state of lust and disbelief and a little bit of confusion. He went from hugging SJ because she was upset to having sex and he doesn't even know how it happened. He doesn't know what the next day is going to bring because he never knows what SJ is thinking. So, instead of letting himself worry about what the morning will bring, he lets himself have the night.

When SJ returns, Tom takes his turn with the bathroom. SJ looks around his room and while she'd love to be tired and ready to sleep, she's not. So, she pulls out her phone from her hoodie pocket and goes to the window. She pulls open the blinds and takes a seat in front of one, leaning her side against the glass before putting in her earbuds, a near permanent accessory to her phone. Music plays and SJ finds herself in a state of contentment and for once, she isn't worrying about the morning. The morning is the morning's problem, not now.

Tom comes back to the room and he smiles as he sees SJ. Warmth spreads through his chest at the sight of her head against the window as she watches the few cars pass by, rain still pelting the window. He follows her lead and opens the other blinds, taking a seat in front of her and mimicking her position. He catches her attention and she takes out her earbuds.

"What're you listenin' to?" Tom asks.

"Local band." SJ slides her phone to him so he can look at the band's name.

"I'll check them out, then."

"You should." SJ nods with confidence before looking back outside.

Tom sucks in a breath and he looks at the time on her phone, reading after two in the morning. "Tell me somethin'." Tom says, brows drawn together in curiosity.

"Like what?" SJ chuckles, looking back to him.

Tom shrugs. "I dunno." He laughs. "Just something you wouldn't tell anyone else."

SJ raises one brow in speculation. "Mm, not happenin', Pretty Boy."

Tom looks to the window and figures he'll share. Maybe if he shares, she'll share something, too. He's not tired and she doesn't seem to be. He wants to know her. If it takes him a thousand tries and a pick-ax to get past whatever walls she has, he'll do it.

"Haven't talked to my family in two years." Tom's voice goes sad and he keeps his stare at the window just watching the rain.

"Why not?" SJ asks, looking to him.

Tom shakes his head, sad eyes looking to her. "Disowned me."

"What'd you do?"

The corner of Tom's mouth tugs up as he shakes his head slowly. "Nope."

SJ snickers, running her tongue across her front teeth. "Okay," She says in understanding. "I, um, I don't, yeah, I don't talk to my parents either."

"Why not?"

"It's hard to talk to people who aren't around, ya know?" SJ replies and she looks back to the window, her chest aching and a lump forming in her throat.

Tom can see her chew her cheek from his seat so he drops it. He didn't expect that. He doesn't know what he expected, but it wasn't to hear that she doesn't talk to her parents either and because they aren't around. At least with Tom's family, it's on him. He fucked up. They want nothing to do with him over his fuck ups. SJ, her parents not being around, that's not on her or Travis.

"Alright," Tom breaks the silence that formed. "Something happier?"

SJ sighs and looks to him with adornment. "I'm only telling you this because it's late and you're not gonna say anything because I know you design furniture." Tom rolls his eyes but gestures a hand for her to continue. "I like marine biology." She says quietly and Tom just shakes his head in confusion. "Everyone has a dream career, ya know? No limitations, nothing. Just, if you can anything in the world, that's it. Maine biology, I'd be a marine biologist."

Tom smiles ear to ear listening to her talk. "Why?"

She shrugs a shoulder with wide, gentle eyes. "We know more about fuckin' space than we do about what the hell is on our own planet. How fuckin' insane is that? Wild, right?" SJ's words grow faster and more enthused as she keeps talking. "They always say that animals like the Megalodon are extinct. Okay, but how do they know? Sure, is it likely? Nah, but it's possible. We weren't alive when it was in existence, or so we think. But, maybe that's it. It could live at the bottom of the ocean, as deep as the bottom of the Mariana's Trench. We just don't know and they're constantly discovering new species, some they thought were extinct like the giant squid. So, who's to say that these supposed extinct animals from the prehistoric era aren't extinct after all and just hiding in the depth of the ocean we can't reach with ease?" SJ finally finishes and Tom's heart could beat out of his chest for her.

He feels like he's managed to fall even more for her. Listening to someone talk about something they're passionate about, really, really passionate about, there's nothing like that. It's raw and beautiful. Their eyes light up and their voice goes higher in pitch with the excitement and their joy just radiates off of them like the sun rays in the middle of the summer. SJ's rambling about something she loves with everything in her and Tom gets to witness it, gets to hear it and he would do anything in the world to be able to hear her talk about it for the rest of his life. He doens't understand it and he's never found interest in marine biology but if SJ is going to talk about it, hell, Tom will listen with his entire being and full attention.

"What?" SJ asks after a moment of silence between the two of them. "You asked."

Tom bites his lip before letting out a beautiful laugh SJ would hate to admit she'd love to hear every day. "You're a nerd."

SJ extends her leg and kicks him lightly. "Look who's talking." She scowls.

"I'm kidding, darling." Tom continues to laugh. "Didn't expect it."

"I'm full of surprises." SJ holds her head up.

"You gonna lemme see those surprises?"

SJ smirks. "Guess you'll have to wait and see."

Tom nods once before looking back to the window. "C'mon," He looks back to her and jerks his head towards his bed. "Should get some sleep."

"Would it be ridiculous if I called off work tomorrow?" SJ asks but her voice already says it's rhetorical.

Tom shakes his head. "It's two-thirty in the fuckin' morning, I'm not going to work tomorrow." Tom scoffs as he gets to his feet.

SJ laughs quietly while Tom reaches down to help her up. "Good because I need a day."

"Yeah," Tom says and his smile falls just slightly.

The two make their way to Tom's bed after closing the blinds once more and crawl it at either side. They both roll on their sides, facing each other and it's comfortable for the two of them. Falling asleep with people can be awkward and even intimidating because everyone is most vulnerable while they sleep, but SJ and Tom don't feel any of that. They feel peaceful today, safe and secure. Somehow two dangerous people have managed to feel safe with each other.

SJ moves closer to Tom, feeling the heat from his bare chest radiate to her. Tom's eyes glance to the bruise around her neck and his fingers come up to rub over it. SJ's eyes close and she lets him look at it and touch it, waiting for him to say something. His fingers are calloused against her smooth skin but they're delicate and careful not to place any pressure making sure to not cause her any pain. It's just weird to him that someone would do this to her. She's snarky and she's got a mouth but to choke someone, to choke someone so hard that it leaves a bruise this vibrant, it pisses him off and makes him want to just take care of her.

"Really, you alright?" Tom asks and SJ can almost swear his accent is thicker.

"Always." She mutters, eyes still closed.

"You can tell me." Tom mumbles, the hand from her neck comes to her waist and pulls her closer to him.

She opens her eyes and looks up to him. "I'm fine, Pretty Boy, just tired and you are, too." SJ nuzzles her head into his chest, allowing his warmth to comfort her.

"Okay." Tom says, allowing the conversation to end, not wanting to push her. He presses a soft kiss to the top of her head before closing his eyes and allowing sleep to take him.

* * *

The rest of the night went by and Tom slept with his arms wrapped around SJ. She laid against him in perfect content. It was the best sleep she's had in years. It was the best sleep she's had despite the two of them both waking up to blaring alarms around six. They'd given each other groggy laughs before calling their jobs and calling in for a sick day. By six thirty, they were back to sleep, this time, SJ's back to Tom's chest as he held her close.

It wasn't until eleven that SJ was stirring awake. Tom's arm was still wrapped her and she smiled softly to herself, warmth flooding her chest. He said he was going to make it really hard for her not to like him and he's right because he's impossible not to like. He's impossible not to fall far.

SJ turns just to see him rolled over on his stomach. She bites back a quiet laugh because even though he felt he had reposition, he still had to be touching her, his arm around her. And SJ has one thought.

_He's so perfect._

But, as she goes to place a kiss on his shoulder, the bliss of the night before and the morning sun fades. Her heart throbs and her stomach turns while her mouth runs dry and a lump comes to her throat.

" _No_ ," She whispers sorrowfully to herself looking at Tom's back.

A few burns decorate different spots of his back around the bruises. They're nasty. Blistered and red, inflamed and not looking to be cleaned well. Most of them look to be like they're in the same state of healing as if they were done at the same time. SJ thinks back to the times she's watched Tom fight, trying to remember if she noticed anything. She was never too close to him but she swears they weren't there before.

The night before replays and she didn't claw his back and he didn't seem to be in any pain when he was on his back. But, then she remembers him hesitating to take off his shirt. Maybe it's a coincidence that he kept his back away from her or maybe he did it intentionally, the only thing she does know is that Tom has circular burns on his back and she wants to help him.

Her chin quivers and tears sting the back of her eyes. He doesn't deserve it and she'd do anything to be wrong. When she'd told Tom she knew what Arthur had done to him, she hoped she was wrong. She hoped that all Arthur did was threaten him, maybe show him something, but no. He really, really did get to him.

SJ pulls herself together and gets out of bed, leaving Tom to sleep. She exits the bedroom quietly and goes into the kitchen where she's greeted by Harrison making himself toast. Her eyes widen, not expecting him to be home. A strike of fear hits her as she wonders why he's home. He should be at the office, at work, with Arthur.

"Mornin'." Harrison chortles as he catches a glimpse of her.

"Morning." SJ says, voice still groggy with sleep.

"You okay?" Harrison asks, brows furrowing when he gets a better look at her.

"Yeah, always. Why're you home?" SJ shrugs it off and takes a seat at the counter.

"You're really pale." Harrison states. "Did something happen? And Arthur called and told me not to come in."

SJ stares at him and she's good at lying but she doesn't try and hide it. She just stares at him and bites the inside of her cheek. Harrison's heart plummets and he's terrified of what happened. SJ and Tom did wake him up the night before and from what he knows, they were perfectly fine but by the look of pure sorrow on SJ's face, that must not be the case.

"Okay, what happened?" Harrison asks, allowing worry to consume his voice.

SJ shakes her head and widens her eyes slightly. "I-I," SJ stutters, trying to find the right words. "You and me, right?" SJ whispers just in case Tom wakes up.

"What?" Harrison asks.

"It's just you and me, right? You haven't told him shit, right? And you're not gonna?"

"Yeah, of course. What the hell is going on?"

"Do you know about Tom's back?" SJ keeps her words low and quiet.

Harrison shakes his head. "What's wrong with his back?"

SJ scratches the side of her head, dodging Harrison's eyes. "He has burns."

"Burns?" An instant lump comes to Harrison's throat. "W-what do you mean burns?"

"Like, someone took a lit fucking cigar to his bare back and held it there until it went out, burns."

Harrison stares at SJ in a state of shock. He's pissed, beyond pissed, even. Without even having confirmation, Harrison knows it's Arthur but why? What purpose does he have to burn Tom? And why the hell wouldn't Tom just tell him? Harrison is tired of Arthur and he's tired of secrets. He wants his friend back and he wants his life back. He wants Arthur taken down.

"Okay, tell me what you're thinking." Harrison says as he comes around the counter and takes a seat beside SJ.

"Arthur likes to burn people, it's his thing. Some people strangle people," SJ points to her neck. "Others, burn them."

"But why?" Harrison presses. "Why'd he do it? How do you know it's a cigar?"

SJ bites the inside of her cheek as she looks away from Harrison. In order to fill him in, she has to tell him things. She needs to trust him and tell him everything she knows with this. Just this. So, she pulls at the sleeve of her hoodie until she gets her arm out and shows Harrison the inside of her bicep. A string of white scars in not so perfect circles shows against her skin. Harrison takes her arm and looks at the scars, scars that are definitely from burns.

"Arthur has a thing with burning people who fuck him over or don't do what he wants." SJ says, taking her arm back and putting the hoodie back on fully.

Harrison sighs, running a hand through his hair a few times. "I'm sorry." He says.

"I'm over it." SJ states. "Fuck what he did to me. I don't fucking care. The point is that he's burning Tom, now."

Harrison groans as it hits him. Tom's been weird since Monday. Saturday, Arthur apparently cornered Tom, Sunday they didn't work, but Monday they did. Harrison doesn't keep track of Tom but he remembers Monday because Tom had his break with Arthur. Harrison just thought it was because he had that date with SJ and he put it in the back of his head but now he's kicking himself for doing it. He should have checked on Tom more, pushed him to tell him why he was acting off. Now he knows. Arthur showed him what will happen if he talks to SJ.

"It's because he talked to you." Harrison mutters through a sigh.

"Saturday."

"Yeah," Harrison nods. "Tom told me last night after we got you that Arthur told him to stay away from you. Monday, he had lunch with Arthur." Harrison admits. "I didn't...I don't know." Guilt takes over Harrison's voice.

"It's okay." SJ rests a hand on his shoulder. "Um, I-I don't know what to do, Harrison." SJ admits.

"You said you'd have a plan." Harrison almost whisper yells.

"I will." SJ reassures. "But I don't right now. I'm good at, uh, the...I'm a one night stand, okay? So, I just...ya know? Avoid him until-"

"No," Harrison cuts her off. "If Arthur sees _you're_ avoiding him, he'll know and won't that be bad?"

SJ rubs her face with her hands. "Yeah, you're right." SJ nods and she shrugs. "Okay, we go on like we have been. Tom isn't stupid so he'll avoid me outside of this apartment. You gotta watch him though and make sure he's okay. Those burns are going to get infected if he doesn't clean them properly."

Harrison nods a few times. "Do you think he'll keep burning him?"

SJ's heart weighs heavy not wanting to tell Harrison. "It's just the start."


	10. pivot

Tom wakes up in an empty bed to his surprise. He groans as he feels the side of the bed that SJ had slept in, finding the sheets cold. With a grunt, he rolled onto his side, eyes closed as he winces. His body aches, arms, back, neck. Everything hurts and he'd do anything to just be able to stay sleeping but he has to get up. Tom sits up slowly and places his feet on the cool carpeted floor. His hands fall to his knees as the burns on his back sting. Tom's stomach turns as he takes a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the pain.

Tom gets to his feet after a few minutes and grabs his shirt from the floor. He closes his eyes, head turning to the ceiling as his hand runs through his bedhead. He woke up on his stomach, blankets down to his waist. That means his back was exposed and he never wanted SJ to see those burns but now he thinks she has. Maybe that's why he woke up alone. Maybe it scared her off. He didn't think much about it, not in the heat of the moment. The second he did, he figured that as long as he could stay on his back, it'd be alright but that's just been proven to be false hope.

Tom tugs his shirt over his head, wincing and rolling his shoulders until it covers his torso fully. He ruffles his hair and heads for the door, opening it quietly as he can he hear the TV coming from the living room as well as brief talking. His heart lifts up with relief figuring that Harrison was talking to SJ. They don't really have friends so SJ is basically the only person Harrison could be talking to unless he suddenly picked up the habit of talking to himself.

"Aye." Harrison nods to Tom as Tom walks down the hallway and into view.

A gentle smile starts pulling at Tom's lips as he sees SJ sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Harrison. She's ditched the borrowed clothes Harrison loaned her and are back in the clothes from the night before. Her hair is tied in a braid falling to one side and Tom sees a few strands of blue encased in her dark hair.

"Hey." Tom says, voice still decorated with sleep and it's one of the hottest sounds SJ has ever heard.

SJ looks over and she smiles. Her heart flutters as she looks at Tom half-limping into the room. He looks like a disaster but a beautiful disaster. He kind of looks like the first clear day after a natural disaster. The first day that things aren't so horrible anymore, clean-up has started, and things just seem to be okay. That's what Tom looks like.  _Hope_.

"Afternoon, Pretty Boy." SJ bellows.

Tom rolls his eyes but the smile remains. "Yeah, afternoon." Tom takes a seat in the chair, turning to partially face them. "Really the afternoon?"

SJ nods. "Yep," She pops the 'p'. "Just after one."

"Shit." Tom groans, a hand running over his face.

"You  _were_  up past three according to my time." Harrison quips.

A smirk comes to Tom's face. "Sorry." He mutters, catching a glimpse of SJ.

SJ shakes her head, shrugging her shoulders. "Oops."

"Mhm," Harrison hums before getting to his feet. "I'm gonna get ready and I'll run you home now that Tom's awake." Harrison nods to SJ and then to Tom.

"I can just take the bus or the train or an Uber." SJ says.

"Or I can drive you." Harrison states and without another word, he was exiting the living room and making his way down the hallway.

SJ shook her head, looking back to Tom and sending him a gentle smile. Tom returned it and the room remained silent besides the TV playing. The air stiffens with unasked questions and unsaid statements. Tom wants to talk about last night for a variety of reasons. Arthur will keep burning him if he's caught with SJ which means he has two options. He can come clean to SJ and they can keep it a secret. That's terrifying and not just for Tom's sake. If Arthur is willing to burn him, Tom can only imagine what he'd do to SJ if he found out. So, that leaves option two. He can tell her last night was a mistake and that's that. It was a one night, heat of the moment reaction. A lie but maybe it's the safer option of the two even though he's afraid it'll hurt her. She seems to trust him but if he turns around and does this, says it was a mistake and lies to her face, he risks ruining that. He wants her, wants to get to know her so fucking much he can't think straight or clearly.

SJ on the other hand, she knows exactly what she needs to do. She needs to tell Tom the same thing he's thinking. It was a mistake, heat of the moment. Her reasoning is the exact same as his. She's had the unfortunate experience of dealing with Arthur's rath and she can't put Tom through that. He might to be willing to risk that, but she won't let him. It's not about Tom distracting her or her liking him, it's just about protecting him and making sure he can make it to the end. She can figure everything else out on the way.

"So, 'bout last night..." Tom starts, forearms resting on his knees.

"Yeah, wanted to talk about that actually." SJ sighs, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged. "I'ma one -night stand, alright? You're great, ya know? But just a one night, yeah?"

One of SJ's so-called talents is lying. She can lie about anything and everything and there's not even the slightest quiver in her voice or her story. She keeps every lie straight even when she's fifty lies in. Her voice is level and she doesn't have a single tick, knowing she has to remain casual to be believable. Her lying is almost eery. But, it's saved her ass on countless occasions so, she uses it. But, that doesn't make her feel any better, especially with the look on Tom's face.

Tom's face drops and while he's trying to pass it off with a nod and furrowed brows of agreement, he's like cellophane. Completely transparent. He's hurt but he can't say he's hurt because if he does then he ends up with option one which risks the both of them. So, he has to act like this is what he wants, like he was going to say the same thing. His heart aches and his back hurts but he needs to suck it up.  _She's just a girl_.

"Yeah, yeah." Tom agrees. "Was gonna say the same."

"Cool." SJ gives him a forced smile and a thumbs up. "But," SJ starts again and Tom keeps his stare on her. "Thanks...for staying up with me. I'll totally kill you if you tell anyone or anything but," There's a warmth that seems to come across her eyes. "Thank you."

Tom's face softens as he looks to the floor, curls falling in front of his face. "Always be here." Tom looks back to her, bright smile showing.

"Ya know, despite my snarkiness and bitchiness and all around detachment," SJ's remark starts off sarcastic before it turns soft. "I am actually a good listener if you want to talk about anything and don't wanna talk to Harrison."

Tom's breath hitches, SJ's words catching him off guard. She  _did_ see the burns. Tom hangs his head with shame. "You saw?" SJ just nods sadly.

"I-I, uh, I don't know." SJ stutters.

She doesn't butt into other people's business, not directly. She doesn't like people coming into her life and asking a hundred questions, demanding she tell them anything so for her to turn around and admit she knows about his burns, that's big.

Tom shrugs. "Was just an accident." Tom says, lying through his teeth.

"Okay." SJ keeps her voice level, not willing to push him to admit anything. He doesn't push her so she won't push him. She gets it.

"What happened to your hip?" Tom asks, pointing to her hip in attempt to change the conversation.

SJ looks down and back to him. "What do you mean?"

"You've a scar." Tom states, raising his brows.

"Oh!" SJ exclaims eyes widening. "Hockey accident."

"What?" Tom chuckles, almost yelling. "Hockey?"

"Yeah," SJ laughs. "You've heard Mikey call me Rocket, right?" Tom nods, hanging onto every word. "It's a reference to Rocket Power. When we were younger we did pretty much everything they did on the show besides surf. Skateboarding, rollerblading, ice hockey, street hockey, snowboarding, even went dirt boarding a few times. So, you get scars and shit from that shit."

"Really?" Tom laughs, finding himself engulfed with her talking and opening up a bit.

"Yeah! Loved it all." SJ beams with enthusiasm remembering the fun she had before life took its turn. "The thrill of it all and you gotta be quick and it takes effort and I dunno, it was a lot of fun."

"Well, how'd you get the scar then?" Tom pushes, leaning in closer to her as if she were telling the most interesting story Tom has ever had the pleasure of listening to

SJ rolls her eyes. "Okay, so Matty, I love him like a brother but the dude can barely walk on solid fucking ground so why Mikey and me thought he could ice skate let alone play fuckin' hockey is truly beyond me." SJ rambles. "So, we're on the ice and he wasn't doing too bad. It's just us cause ya know, coach was chill, let us scrimmage sometimes if he could so we're teaching Matty to play. Well, I'm kinda behind him, kinda on the side, ya know? Helping him stay up and helping hold my stick. I let go, he starts skating, all is good but I stay close behind him to make sure he doesn't eat shit. Next thing I know, he slips somehow and he falls all weird, I collide into him and I fell right on the tip of the damn blade."

"You've a scar on your hip from trying to teach someone to play hockey?" Tom chuckles, brows pulled together in amusement.

"Mhm." SJ hums. "Needless to say, Matty doesn't skate or play hockey and I had to get six stitches."

Tom shakes his head, mouth partially open. "Anymore?" SJ really likes hockey by the way her voice changes pitch telling the story and Tom can't get enough.

"Check it." SJ says moving her hair away from her forehead revealing a small scar right by her hairline. "Hockey puck to the face."

"Mikey or Matty?" Tom asks, almost joking.

"Travis actually." SJ tosses her head back in laughter. "He looked so fucking scared, it was great. The head bleeds a lot more than you think it does."

"You really have a thing for people hitting you in the face, huh?"

Without hesitation, SJ quips, "Yeah, well, we all have our own kinks."

Tom leans back in his chair, filling the room with laughter. SJ laughs with him and she wants him. She laughs but the thought of how unfair life is crosses her mind because this man laughing about a simple joke is so pure and happy and good,  _he is so good_  and he deserves everything good. Everything in SJ is just pulling at her to toss everything away and say fuck it, just risk it all but he's just a boy with a pretty laugh.

"Ya know," Tom leans up again. "You're funny when you're not snarky and all around detached." Tom puts air quotes around SJ's previously-used phrased.

"You forgot bitchy." SJ gestures finger guns with one hand, squinting an eye.

Tom scoffs. "Nah, I don't think you're bitchy."

A blush starts to creep onto SJ's face with Tom's words. "Thanks."

Before Tom can say anything else, Harrison comes back in. "Ready?" He asks.Harrison quietly hates himself for having to reak up the conversation.  _They look happy together_ , like they understand each other in ways Harrison doesn't grasp,  _can't_ grasp. 

"Yeah." SJ nods, standing up, Tom following her lead. "Pretty Boy." SJ smirks up to him.

"SJ." Tom mocks.

SJ glances to Harrison and he shrugs, moving to put his shoes on. Harrison said that while they're in that apartment, what Arthur doesn't know, can't hurt anyone. And SJ is having a little trouble with impulse control about Tom so, she moves forward and clasp her hands around his neck, pulling his lips to hers. Tom's hands immediately tug at her hips, pulling her flush against him.

One of the problems that comes with addiction is that it's dangerous. It doesn't matter what people are addicted to, the addiction becomes dangerous because it's hard to live without. It's hard not to have that thing. It's dangerous for one's physical health and sanity. Tom and SJ are already hopelessly addicted to each other and the way their mouths move with each other and the way it feels like electricity flows through their veins and keeps their hearts pumping with only the simple touch of each other's fingers, solidify it.

SJ pulls away, biting her lip. "One-night stand." She reminds him before pressing a chaste kiss to his cheeks.

Tom's eyes widen with infatuation. "Wish it wasn't," Tom mutters, pulling her closer, desperately wishing she didn't have to leave because if she leaves, it'll be like he woke up from his favorite dream.

"Do you need a room?" Harrison quips from behind them.

SJ wiggles away from Tom's grip. "I'm coming. Bye, Tom." SJ bites her lip before making her way to the door.

"Need anything?" Harrison directs his voice at Tom.

"Nah. I'm good." Tom responds, taking a seat on the couch, a smile still splitting his face.

SJ and Harrison head out to Harrison's car. SJ's mind is occupied with thoughts of Tom and she knows she needs to up her game. She needs to put aside what happened last night with Ian and not worry about Arthur catching her. Her focus needs to be on figuring out a plan to get everyone out of the mess that's been created. It's not going to be easy but she needs to. Tom's clouding her thoughts and she knows there's no getting rid of the smile embedded in her memory or his dark curls and eyes so deep she feels like she could drown peacefully.  _She has to take Arthur down_. 

They reach Harrison's car and Harrison starts the drive to SJ's house with the help of her telling her actual address, not Mikey and Matty's. The two had work and she'd rather be in her own home where maybe she'd be able to think of something. It's easier to think in a place she's more comfortable and that would be her bedroom.

Harrison glances over to SJ as they drive through the sunny city streets. "Hey," Harrison breaks the silence, his eyes moving back to the road. "Overheard you with Tom, why'd you say  _you_  were a one night stand when he's the reason for it?" Harrison asks, brows knitted together.

SJ shrugs a shoulder, not looking over to him. "He'd feel guilty."

"You don't?" Harrison glances back over. "Feel guilty, I mean."

"Oh, no," SJ shakes her head looking to him. "I do but I initiated it last night so."

Harrison lets out a frustrated sigh. "Do you care? Seemed like you do this morning, now it doesn't. Are you fucking with him?" Harrison glances back over with a squared jaw. She's too nonchalant about it but what Harrison doesn't know is that it's just a defense mechanism.

"If I didn't care, I wouldn't have told you about his fucking back." SJ glares at him, teeth clenching before she looks out her window.

"Sorry," Harrison mutters. "I just got him into this and," He pauses for a few beats. "I dunno."

"Well, I might have a plan. It's half-assed and solely relies on an incompetent drug addict slash drug dealer but it's better than nothing, I guess."

"I'm listening." Harrison urges.

"There's a fight, about a month from now, it's a throw-away. Boxers enter to get more money but it doesn't affect the outcome of the actual matches. It's just, extra I guess. But, there's a kind of poll where the people betting get to pick who they want against each other." SJ pauses, watching Harrison and gaging his reaction.

"I don't like where this is going." Harrison sighs already gathering what she's about to say.

"Yeah, you won't." SJ sighs, freehand tapping the center console. "Arthur will pay a lot of money to see Tom fight me. I know I can make it to the final match and he does, too. He's going to have Tom fight me because that's his best chance at winning or he'll do it to fuck with me."

"Won't that fuck with Tom?" Harrison points out the obvious.

"You bet." SJ points. "But, Arthur won't care because it's a throw-away. It happens on Wednesday and the following weekend doesn't contain a match. Tom will have over a week to recover. So, my half-assed, thought out in only two-minutes plan is that I fight Tom."

"Right..." Harrison blinks in a state of dumbfounded.

"But, I tell him beforehand that he needs to fuck me up. I mean, make sure as shit I can't fight the following weekend."

"How does that help?" Harrison interrupts her. SJ doesn't make any sense right now but he hates the idea of Tom having to actually  _hurt_  her. 

"I'm getting there, chill." SJ scolds. "Tom, yeah he'll feel guilty and all that but I'll be fine and it's my idea. No biggie. The problem is that I need to get Ian, the dude I owe money to, in on this."

"Wait, wait, wait." Harrison shakes his head. "Why?  _And why do you owe money to a drug dealer?_ "

"Do you want my plan or do you want to know how I got here because you're only getting one." SJ's eyes narrow as she watches Harrison.

"Plan." Harrison nods.

"If I can get Ian in on this, I'll get a few extra weeks to come up with some money to pay him back and he won't come after my ass. In that time, I can work my own fucking angle to fuck Arthur over because I know how but I can't do it while I'm fighting. Not working two jobs, trying to keep my friends safe, keep my brother safe, keep my ass safe, which we can see how fucking well I am at that. I gotta keep my shit together and I can't do what I need to if I'm getting my face beat in every weekend."

"Okay," Harrison lets air out in a shallow breath of uncertainty.

He doesn't want her to do it. Harrison's been there, getting beaten so bad he can't fight anymore. It's a mess, literally and figuratively. It can fuck with someone mentally and physically. It's just, not a good situation and that's not fair that SJ is willing to just put herself in that position to help Harrison and Tom, two people who just barely aren't strangers anymore. But, there's also the bigger point.

There's Tom. Harrison knows Tom will be completely against it even if they tell Tom exactly what's going on. Tom will never want to hurt her, it's who he is. Sure, in the ring it is him against his opponent and he gets lost in it, but that's completely different than him knowing ahead of time that he needs to actually cause enough damage to knock someone out of the competition completely, especially someone he cares about. And if for some reason he does agree to do it, he'll never be able to live with the fact he hurt SJ. It's crazy.

"What if Ian doesn't agree to it? Or Tom? Or what if he doesn't hurt you and you just make it look like he did?" Harrison rambles the questions off.

"Everyone has beef with Arthur." SJ chortles. "Ian will likely agree if I promise to take Arthur down. And I don't know. And I'm not an actor. I'm a liar."

Harrison groans, his grip tightening on the steering wheel. "What if it doesn't work?"

"Well, for right now, we have to make that work. We have a month to see if it will and during that month, I'll have to time think of a few more plans."

Harrison hates this more than almost anything but it's what he has. "Alright, fine." Harrison agrees as he turns onto SJ's street. "Should we tell Tom?"

"Not yet." SJ shakes her head. "He's gonna be pissed at us both, ya know?"There's a quiver in her voice, once Harrison didn't expect. It's a quiver that says she doesn't want Tom mad at either of them.  _She really, **really**  likes him._

"I knew that when I agreed to ask you out." Harrison shrugs with reassurement. "When should we tell him?"

"I don't know." SJ whispers as Harrison pulls the car against the curb. "I'll let you know and you can tell him. I won't tell him a thing. He should hear it from you when the time's right."

"Okay." Harrison nods, eyes sad yet determined. "Well, you alright?" Harrison asks, the change from snarky to sad worrying him plus, he has a very unfortunate view of the bruise on her neck.

"Always." SJ says as she reaches for the door. Harrison's mouth starts to open but SJ cuts him off before he can get a word out. "Thanks for letting me stay." SJ rushes. "I owe you."

Harrison huffs, the corner of his mouth pulling up. "You don't owe me. We're friends."

SJ smiles gently. "Alright, well, thanks, still."

"You're welcome." Harrison says.

"I'll catch ya later then." SJ nods and exits the car.

SJ makes her way up her walkway and into her house. The door creaks open as she steps inside, taking in the cool atmosphere. She swears under her breath before shutting the door and turning towards the kitchen. She's immediately met with Travis seated at the table flipping through the mail.

"Mikey and Matty stopped by." Travis mutters, not looking to her.

"Okay." She says, making her way past the table and towards the stairs.

"That's it?" Travis looks up, eyes boring into her back.

"Yep." SJ starts as she goes for the stairs. "I have a phone."

"Jules!" Travis yells after her but more with concern than anger.

SJ turns on the stairs to glare at him and he gets a look at the bruise. His jaw drops and the hardened expression turns to one of pure concern. "I'll text them later, alright?"

"What the fuck happened to you?" Travis asks.

"Tied a scarf around my neck a little too tight, what do you think?" SJ's eyes narrow with the snarky remark.

Travis sighs and maneuvers around the table and to the foot of the staircase. "Was it the person that dropped you off?" The protective brother side starts to make an appearance.

"Travis," SJ's voice is warning. "Leave it."

She goes to turn but Travis's voice stops her. "I know it's hard but you have to learn to move past it. I have." He knows why she's snippy today and he knows her well enough to know it's not the bruise.

SJ laughs dryly turning and looking down at Travis. "I have to learn to move past it? Move past what exactly? Your fuck ups? Mine? Mom's? Dad's? Everyone's? How 'bout the fact this fuckin' house is fuckin' freezing, huh? Wanna explain where the hell the money for that bill went or are we gonna pretend like it ain't shit? Because I'm not." She huffs, almost hovering over him, jaw clenching and fist balled at her sides.

"How many times do I have to apologize?" Travis asks through gritted teeth.

"As many times as it takes to fix this shit." SJ says with a scoff.

"I'm sorry, Jules." Travis says with sincerity.

"Leave me alone." SJ says, her voice turning calm.

"I can't do that. You do for family, remember?"

"Yeah," SJ shakes her head.

"Did you go out last night because of mom?" Travis asks. "Just be honest, c'mon, just me and you."

SJ looks away. "No," She looks back to him with the rolls of her shoulder and raise of her brows. "Nothing to do with her. I didn't go to Mikey and Matty because of mom and I didn't come here because of mom. I called a new friend."

Travis nods. "I'm here for you, Jules. You can always come home. "

"The first thing you did was yell when you saw this. What would you have done last night?" SJ challenges. "I'm just--" SJ pauses and licks her lips. "It's a bad fucking day, okay?"

"You can't take out your bad days on me, SJ." Travis says with the gesture of his hand.

"Yeah, well, I'm working on it." SJ mumbles. "Look, I'll get you the money for the heating and you can run the money tomorrow. I need to nap."

"I'm here if you want-"

"I don't." SJ cuts him off, turning up the stairs and this time successfully making it up all of them and to her room.

SJ shuts the door to her room and leans against the old wood. She takes a few deep breaths and shuts her eyes, allowing herself to just breathe. She can feel everything riding on her, like she's literally holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. Travis has to rely on her, he doesn't have a choice thanks to Illinois's bullshit system. Mikey and Matty rely on her to just be a friend and be the brains whenever either of them get into form of a situation they can't get out of. And now Harrison is relying on her to get him and Tom out of the mess and she might have set herself up for that but that is not the point, not right now. The only person who doesn't seem to be relying on her is Tom himself which, ironically enough, makes him seem like the easiest person to communicate with and SJ can't for the sake of his own health. It sucks.

With a groan, she pushes off of her door and goes to her bed, plopping down. She digs her phone out of her pocket, holding it above her face and her fingers hover over Mikey's contact. He's working so it's not like he can talk very much and Matty is also at work and he can't talk so SJ types the quick 'I'm home' message and tosses her phone to the other side of her bed. SJ decides she can just spend her day in bed, thinking and sleeping. It's better than dealing iwth people.

* * *

The next day comes around and Tom is leaning over the wall of his cubby in the office, talking to Harrison. When Harrison had returned the day before, Harrison confronted Tom about the burns on his back. Tom was a little more than defensive over it but did eventually calm down to tell him what had happened. Now, Harrison wants a minute alone with Arthur, to give him a taste of his own medicine, not that Tom would ever let that happen. Harrison's just disgusted and he blames himself and he feels completely helpless. His friend is being burned and there's nothing he can about it. It's a bit crushing.

"Holland." Arthur's raspy voice pulls Tom's attention. "Office, now." Arthur states before walking away and allowing Tom to follow.

"What's he want?" Harrison asks.

"Fuck if I know." Tom shrugs, moving away from his cubby. "Be back." Tom states before he starts walking to Arthur's office.

Last time he was in Arthur's office, he left with burns down his back so to say Tom was nervous would be an understatement. His paranoia escalates with every step. Maybe Arthur is completely insane and he's bugged their house. Maybe bugged the car, their phones. Who knows? Maybe Arthur is just fucking with him. Tom doesn't have a clue about anything and the more he thinks, the worse it all gets. Sometimes, his thoughts are worse than reality.

Tom walks into Arthur's office, closing the door behind him. He walks in front of the desk where Arthur was standing and he's hoping that he just gets it over with. Whatever he has to say or do, maybe he'll make it quick.

"I do believe I owe you an apology." Arthur starts.

"What?" Tom's face contorts in confusion.

"I shouldn't dictate who you can and can't talk to." Tom just stares at Arthur as if Tom's missing an elephant in the room. He was burned for talking to SJ and now Arthur is apologizing. What. "If you'd like to see SJ, I think it'd be a good idea, actually." Tom's confusion and fear immediately drops with Arthur's words. He's not stupid.

"That's not a choice, is it?" Tom asks.

Arthur grins with a gentle huff. "What do you think?" Arthur turns to grab the unlit cigar from his desk before turning back around. Tom just glares and it's like Arthur's just relit the fire in Tom.

"No." Tom says. "No."

"Funny," Arthur gives a dry chuckle as he grabs the matchbox to the side of him. "Osterfield said you like her. I thought you'd be okay with this."

Tom hesitates. He hesitates because SJ hasn't left his mind in nearly twenty-four hours. She's at the front of his mind like his favorite song playing on repeat. He connects with her unlike anyone else and he can't even explain it. So, yeah, Tom should be happy he's free to at least speak to SJ but he's not because Arthur isn't giving him the choice which means there's a sinister reason behind it. It's not about how Tom feels. There's more to it and it doesn't sit well with Tom.

"What do you get out of it?" Tom asks, arms crossing his chest.

"I get a focused fighter." Arthur grins, putting the cigar in his mouth and lighting a match, disregarding the Illinois law.

That's not exactly his reasoning. Arthur is twisted and similar to SJ, he'll do anything he has to to make sure he comes out on top. But, he crosses the lines SJ won't. So, if Arthur can get Tom to start in on SJ knowing full and well she likes him, Arthur knows she'll get attached. He has complete control over Tom and with the snap of his fingers, he can rip Tom away with her without a second thought. With the past SJ and Arthur have, he knows that she won't be distracted because Tom was taken away, but she'll be distracted because she'll be worried about him with Tom working with Arthur. She'll slip and do something stupid. Arthur gets his revenge and a winning fighter.

Tom's eyes are narrowed and he hates Arthur so much more now than he already did. "What'd SJ ever do to you?"

Arthur pauses, catching Tom off guard. Arthur is always at the front of his game, no hesitation. He's quick with responses as if he's answered every question Tom has thrown at him a hundred times and he can respond to any remark like he's been doing this for twenty years. But, that one question caught Arthur off guard. SJ's a new denominator he needs to account for. He didn't expect anyone, especially Tom, to ask about what happened with SJ, not after the first time. Arthur thought the burns would be enough and they are, for a little while.

"That doesn't concern you." Arthur lights the cigar, puffing on the end a few times.

"She'll tell me if I see her." Tom states, keeping his voice confident despite his actual lack of confidence. SJ won't tell him anything other than her interest in marine biology, she isn't going to turn around and tell him her shit with Arthur, but it's a good lie.

"Are you sure about that?" Arthur asks and he has a smirk that's taunting.

"Positive." Tom says without hesitation.

Arthur shrugs, puffing on the cigar a bit more as if to be silently threatening Tom. "Good thing there's nothing to tell."

Tom shakes his head. "I'm not fucking with her because of you."

"You'll do as I say or your back will be the least of your problems." Arthur pushes off of his desk, closing the distance between him and Tom. Tom would normally back away, but he doesn't. He doesn't stand down this time and instead, he stands toe-to-toe with Arthur. Arthur blows smoke into Tom's face and the most Tom does is blink. "Understood?" Arthur asks with venom in the single word.

"Got. It." Tom says through gritted teeth.

"Good." Arthur pats the side of Tom's face as Tom jerks away. "Get back to work."

Tom glares up at Arthur, disgust and fury running through his veins. He backs away and goes for the door, shutting it behind him as he leaves. Tom hates that he's here. He doesn't even know how he got here but he did and now he has to actually try and date the girl he likes otherwise he'll get the full rath of Arthur. So, he has to try and date her just because someone said so. Surely, that's not going to end well.

Tom goes back to his cubby, plopping down into his seats, arms back to being crossed over his chest. Harrison stands up and looks over to him.

"You alright, mate?" Harrison asks.

"Fuckon' prick is what he is." Tom mutters. "Wants me to date SJ."

 Harrison raises a brow. Why would Arthur have Harrison date SJ just to turn around and have Tom date her? But, Harrison can't ask that. He promised SJ.  

"Why'd he change his mind and why're you pissed?" Harrison asks instead.

"Dunno." Tom shakes his head. "And 'm not." Tom looks to his computer.

"Tom--"

"It's fine, Haz. I'll explain later." Tom cuts Harrison off and Harrison simply sighs before sitting back in his seat not wanting to push Tom, not at work. But he has full intentions on holding Tom to his word of explaining later.

While Tom and Harrison spend the rest of their workday working in silence, SJ is at the gym working. Maurice had a few choice questions about the obnoxious bruise SJ couldn't completely cover with makeup but Maurice didn't badger. The less he knows the better so SJ basically just kept to herself throughout the day. That was until Mikey and Matty strolled in.

She hasn't seen them since Tuesday which is completely out of the ordinary and the two boys are worried. SJ doesn't just stop hanging around unless something's wrong and their thoughts were confirmed when they came face to face with her.

"What the fuck happened to your neck, Rocket?" Mikey raises his voice, his hand grabbing her chin to turn her face.

"Get off me, dammit." SJ slaps his hand away.

"What happened?" Matty's voice is soft and sweet. "Who did that?"

"No one, okay? Don't worry about it, I'm fine." SJ says, walking around the counter.

"Is that why we haven't seen you in two days?" Matty asks and his voice is so innocent it just fills SJ with more guilt.

SJ hangs her head slightly. "I just needed some time, okay?" SJ says.

"Yeah, so the bruise will heal. You never spend that day alone. Ever." Mikey edges in, voice harsh and unapologetic.

"I wasn't alone." SJ retorts, leaning her elbows on the counter. "I told you. I stayed with Pretty Boy and Pretty Boy 2.0." She states nonchalantly.

"I meant with people you can actually talk to." Mikey narrows his eyes. He's not into playing SJ's games and round-about answers today. Someone literally strangled her and he wants answers.

"Who says I didn't tell them?"

Matty and Mikey look to each other and then back to SJ, looks alone calling her bluff. "Did you?" Mikey asks, already knowing the answer.

"No, but you didn't know that." SJ mumbles.

"Who are you protecting?" Mikey asks and he's not going to budge.

"Mikey," SJ warns. "Leave it."

"Ian, right?" Mikey asks. "Why're you protecting that piece of shit?"

"Leave. It. Alone." SJ leans closer to Mikey, trying not to lose her temper.

"Fuck with you, he fucks with me." Mikey hits the desk with his palm a few times before heading for the door.

"Mikey!" SJ yells after him but he's leaving and nearly running into Harrison and Tom as they come in. "Oh, you're fucking with me, right?" SJ looks up as if to be cursing the world.

"Do you want me to go after him?" Matty asks.

"No," SJ sighs. "No, no point."

Matty and SJ's attention is pulled to the side when Harrison and Tom approach, both holding expression of worry. They know SJ better than Mikey but Mikey looked ready to kill anyone who got in the way so it's only fair they're a little worried.

"He alright?" Harrison asks.

"Yeah, it's nothing." SJ says with a shrug.

Tom's heart weighs heavy in his chest with the sight of SJ. He has to ask her out but there's something else gnawing at him and seeing Mikey storm out brought it to the front of his mind. She called herself a one-night stand which he brushed off at first but now that he suddenly has to convince her to date him, he's overthinking. People don't call themselves one-night stands, they call other people one-night stands. SJ is someone who's careful with her words so she wouldn't incorrectly word something. And with Mikey running out and just the overall look of how exhausted SJ looks, Tom has questions and worry. And guilt. Lots of guilt.

"Uh, hey." Tom says.

"Hey." SJ responds.

Tom looks to Harrison and then Matty before looking back to SJ. "Can we...talk for a minute?"

"I'm gonna...." Harrison trails off, pointing his thumb in the direction of the locker room. "Go that way."

"I'll come with." Matty says, the other three snapping their attention to Matty. "In case a locker gets stuck or something."

"Good idea." Harrison chimes, walking up to Matty and jerking his head for him to follow.

Harrison and Matty make their way to the locker room leaving SJ and Tom to themselves. SJ grows nervous, wondering what Tom has to say that he can't just speak in front of Harrison or Matty. Her first thought is that it's something about the burns on his back. Maybe there's more now and he doesn't know what to do. Maybe Harrison didn't tell Tom that she told him so Tom'sjust relying on her.  _Relying_.

"So," Tom sucks in a breath. "What if I don't want last night to be a one-night stand?" Tom asks bluntly.

"I told you, Pretty Boy, I'ma one-night stand." SJ says and there's a flicker in her eyes.

"But I don't want you to be." Tom says as if it were the simplest sentence that had ever left his mouth and SJ, she pivots.

She doesn't have a quip or harsh words. She doesn't have the fight to argue with him and she  _doesn't want to_. Her problem is that she doesn't want to fight him on this because she doesn't want to be a one-night stand, especially with him. But, that's just it. If SJ chooses to be the one-night stand, the other person doesn't get to make that choice for her. They don't get to kick her out because she kicked herself out. And with the amount of shit going on, the last thing she needs is to be worrying about someone kicking her out. Tom has Arthur breathing down his neck about seeing her and she won't be responsible for his injuries.

"You don't either." Tom says after a few seconds of silence.

SJ sucks on her teeth and walks around the counter, pulling at Tom's arm. She pulls him off to the side where she can actually talk to him without anything between them. She can be close enough to him to whisper and make sure no one can overhear.

"You have burns on your back, man." SJ whispers with pain in her voice, leaving out her insecurities in her reasoning. "Because you talked to me. Why do you want to risk more of that?" SJ's eyes scan Tom's face for answers.

Tom shakes his head. "He said he doesn't care anymore." Tom says quietly. "Said I can see you if I want."

She pivots, again. She doesn't trust herself not to give into him. Tom's the addiction she's feared and she's now up against. He lights this spark in her that makes her want to do better and be better, stop just skipping by and do something. She has this ability to help people and she's sitting on it for her own safety. Tom makes her want to throw it out. He's gasoline and she's the match.

But, she knows there's more to this. There has to be. Arthur doesn't just change his mind and she knows there's a reason why Arthur is saying Tom can suddenly, not only talk to her, but do what he wants. There's an ulterior motive but he's a few steps ahead and SJ's basically seeing through a pitch black tunnel. She has no idea where he stands and now it's like walking through a minefield, anywhere she steps might set off a series of bombs. It's not good, a terrible place.

"We're friends, okay?" SJ says after a few beats pass.

"Friends?" Tom asks and there's a smile starting to pull at his lips.

"Yeah, friends." SJ says, a blush creeping onto her face.

"Okay." Tom agrees. He has one foot in the door. "As friends," Tom starts. "I think it's only fair I know your full name and....your number." Tom chuckles.

SJ gives him a hearty laugh. "You call me by my name, I'll end you, got it?" Tom nods and mockingly crosses his fingers over his heart. "Sarah Juliet."

Tom's eyes soften as her name sits with him. It fits her. "I like it." He says gently, just above a whisper.

"I like SJ." SJ laughs softly.

"Alright." Tom pulls out his phone and hands it to SJ once he pulls up the space for a new contact. "Here ya go."

SJ shakes her head but takes his phone from him. She looks at him with a quirked brow after looking at the cracked screen. "Really? Get a case, man."

"It's fine." Tom laughs, pointing to the phone.

"MHm, and when it breaks, you'll be bitching you don't have a phone." SJ mocks, typing her number in the phone.

"Should probably put your address in there, too then. In case I can't text you or call you." There's a nervous quiver to his voice but it's adorable. It makes her heart skip a beat and butterflies explode through her stomach. 

"Oh," SJ looks to him with a smirk. "You think you're smooth."

"Not at all." Tom laughs once more and SJ's heart flutters against her ribcage.

_He's so cute._

"Here." SJ hands him his phone back. "Go wild."

Tom looks to his phone and smiles with the sight of her name and phone number in his phone. But, the happiness and warmth that filled his chest, slowly starts to fade with the thought of almost lying to her. Arthur's making him do this even if he wants to do it, Arthur is still behind it and he feels like he's lying.

"Thanks." Tom says with the lick of his lips as he shoves his phone back in his pocket.

"You're welcome, Pretty Boy." SJ giggles. "Now, I should get back to work so I can leave soon." Tom nods softly. "You better text me."

"Yeah, of course." Tom bites his lip, suppressing is smile. "I will."

SJ smiles and nods before she starts to walk away. Before she gets too far away, she lets herself go just for a second. What's the worst that can happen at this point? She turns to face Tom and the smile falls just a little while her brows knit together with anxiety. "You're right, ya know?" She says. "You make it  _very hard_  not to like you."


	11. hurricane

SJ's finger tapped across her phone screen with a gentle smile etched across her face. She's leaned against the old headboard, blankets covering the majority of her body and Matty's laptop playing Titanic. The most she's moved is to grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast, Matty's laptop, and use the bathroom. Other than that, she's been comfortable in the bed she calls hers half the week while texting Tom.

SJ had woken up to a text from Tom. It was a simple 'good morning' but it made her smile and her chest warm with happiness. Butterflies swarmed her stomach and while she wasn't one to immediately get on her phone the second she wakes up, she couldn't help herself but reply immediately. She feels like she's a kid again with her first crush, bubbly and happy. A pleasant reminder that even through dark times, there can be this peacefulness, happiness, innocence. It's refreshing, almost a little too refreshing.

While SJ and Tom texted away and SJ's cheeks ache from pure joy, there was this knot forming in her stomach. They aren't talking about anything important but she feels like she's really getting to know him. She can feel herself slipping and with every slip of her footing, the further she falls into a guilt-ridden swamp. It's sticky and enough to completely suck her under. It's like she's lying to him. Tom doesn't know why she went on a date with Harrison and why Harrison went out with her in the first place. He doesn't know anything about Arthur, the small bit she has been willing to tell Harrison, anyway. With Harrison knowing and Tom not, she feels like she's going behind his back and for no reason. At least before it was because it was easier, no harm, no foul but now they're texting for hours and they're friends. They had that night and he's in the forefront of her mind. Lying might be easy, the task, but the mental toll it can take can be hell and she's experiencing it.

A knock sounds on the door that's cracked open, Mikey pushing it open further. "Hey."

SJ nods at him, not really looking at him before her stare goes back to her phone. "Hey."

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" Mikey asks, leaning against the wall.

"Diner was robbed." SJ rolls her eyes. "They only got what was in the register but they broke the front window so Sheryl called us all off saying the guy that owns it is getting people in to board up the window and he's ordering a replacement. So, here I am." SJ puts her phone down, about to ask why Mikey was home but when she looks up and really looks at his face, her question changes. "What the fuck happened to your face?"

Mikey chuckles, shrugging his shoulder and pushing off the wall. "Ran into a pole, Rocket. What else?" Sarcasm drips through his words as he walks over to her.

"Yeah? That pole have a few moving fists attached to it?" SJ pokes a still-forming bruise on Mikey's arm as he takes a seat on the bed.

"Perhaps." Mikey laughs, pulling his arm away. "Kicked Ian's ass."

SJ scoffs, shaking her head but there's almost a taunting smile across her lips. "Yeah, no shit."

"Why'd you ask then?" Mikey quips.

SJ shrugs. "The off chance you happened to run into a pole and had a good story."

"Sorry to disappoint, Rocket." Mikey lays back, arms going behind his head.

"Why'd you kick his ass?"

"He choked you?" Mikey says as if SJ should have known the answer. "Fucks with you, he fucks with me. I don't care how fucking smart you get with someone, no one touches you unless it's inside that damn ring and they're supposed to." Mikey's sarcastic tone completely drops as he eyes SJ, mouth in a straight line showing his seriousness and sincerity.

"You don't have to do that, ya know?"

"Always will." Mikey responds, words nonchalant.

SJ nods before muttering, "Thanks, Mikey."

He gives her a cornered smile, pulling the laptop to face him so he can see what she's watching but she switches her attention back her phone. Mikey notices and catches a glimpse of her face. She lights up from looking at the electronic screen, something he hasn't seen in years.There's something about Tom that rubs him the wrong way and maybe it's just because he's involved with Arthur but Mikey doesn't like him. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out SJ is texting him and that's why she's turned all smiley again so, despite his disdain, Mikey keeps his thoughts to himself. But then, her smile drops and she looks back to Mikey.

"What?" She raises a brow and Mikey's brows furrow.

"You alright, Rocket?"

"Always, why?" SJ asks, glancing back to her phone.

"You're in bed, usually when I protect you, you go on a rant about how you don't need anyone to protect you, you're smiling like an idiot at your phone and just stop the second you put it away. You were asleep by the time I got home and you're still here. You're never still here if you don't have to work and me or Matty aren't up or around. So, what's up?" Mikey lists off the few things he's picked up in the short time he's been talking to SJ. It's a good and a bad thing knowing someone for so long like she's known Mikey. It's harder to hide things from him.

SJ sighs, running a hand through her messy hair. "I just," She looks up to the ceiling as if the words were going to write themselves. "He doesn't know anything and I feel like I'm lying to him, ya know?" SJ says as she looks to Mikey.

He gives her an understanding nod. "Why don't you tell him?" SJ bites the inside of her cheek, dodging Mikey's stare and that silent tell gives him everything he needs. "Dude, if you fucking like him or whatever, just say it. Don't beat around this damn bush." Mikey sits up with a groan, wincing in pain. "What's the worst that can happen if you tell him?" Mikey reasons.

"He could tell Arthur." SJ counters.

Mikey just looks at her as if she's lost her mind. "I don't even like him and I have more sense to know he's not a moron." SJ glares at him and Mikey resituates, moving to sit beside her. "Okay, what do you feel guilty about?"

"Going on a date with his best friend just to use his best friend to get to Tom and having my initial plan be to use Tom himself." SJ rambles. "I mean, I feel guilty about all the Arthur shit I know but at least I have good reason to keep that fuckin' shit to myself."

"Yeah, keep your mouth shut on that, would you? We don't need a rerun." Mikey warns.

SJ doesn't say anything and Mikey knows that warning her isn't going to make her feel better. He hates seeing her like this, with momentary happiness. It happens sometimes, especially after everything with her parents and Travis and everything she's gone through since she was twelve. It's a lot and it gets to her head sometimes.

Mikey pulls the laptop onto his lap and puts an arm around her shoulders. "Hey," He starts and SJ looks up to him. "The dude likes you. He does. So, if you do or don't tell him anything, it's because you have his best interests in mind and he'll understand that." SJ forces a smile and Mikey just pulls her closer to him. "You gotta let the weight of the world off your shoulders, Rocket. It's gonna crush you one day."

"PRobably." SJ mutters, unlocking her phone.

She stares at the text from Tom. He made a joke about jellyfish which sparked SJ up on the marine biology topic. Tom, he didn't even mind. Not at all. He rolled with it and asked questions, wanting her to go more in depth about what she knows about jellyfish and why. It's a bit of a weird topic but one they're both enjoying and one SJ doesn't talk much about it. It's just so easy with him that she forgets about everything else. She forgets even when it's just texting. So, she types her reply and heads to Harrison's message thread.

"Tell him." SJ types, pressing send and immediately locking her phone, allowing Harrison to spill everything he knows to Tom.

Harrison reads the text and all he can do is look to Tom. He's seated in the chair, a smile splitting his face and eyes bright as can be. His cheeks are tinted a soft shade of pink and he looks genuinely happy. He's been looking happy all damn day. Harrison didn't even have to ask who Tom was talking to because it's obvious by the way his entire face lights up when he looks at his phone. But, now SJ is telling him to tell Tom and he has to. Harrison could wait, sure and maybe he should wait until later that night but the longer Harrison will sit on the permission to start talking, the more likely it'll just spill out of his mouth.

"Aye, mate." Harrison starts, grabbing Tom's attention. Tom raises his brows, locking his phone and waiting for Harrison to continue. "I've to tell to you something." Harrison's voice wavers just enough.

"'Bout what?" Tom asks with furrowed brows.

Harrison sucks in a deep breath and Tom grows nervous with anticipation. "You know how I went on a date with SJ?"

Tom nods slowly, hesitatence coming over him. "Yeah, 'course."

Harrison shakes his head, guilt and shame filling his veins and spreading across his face. "It was a set-up."

Tom jerks his head back with a light shake and brows knitting together. "Hell you mean it was a set-up?"

Harrison can't bring himself to actually look at Tom. "She was going to ask you out, not me."

"Why? Make me jealous or something?" Tom scoffs and for a second, he lets the anxiety ease. If that's all it is, that's no big deal. She still shouldn't have done it but she went to him the other night, not Harrison. But, Harrison's expression doesn't change and Tom gets worried all over again.

"No," Harrison shakes his head. "She wanted to distract you so you would lose. You wouldn't talk to her, so she was planning to use me."

Tom's face drops with his heart. "What?" The word comes out as a broken whisper.

"I went on a date with her because Arthur made me. He wanted me to distract her." Harrison confesses and he should feel a little better having some of the weight off of his chest, but he doesn't.

"Wait." Tom shakes his head and the broken voice from seconds before is replaced with annoyance. "She's fuckin' playin' me and you went along with it? Couldn't tell me? What the fuck?" Tom's voice increases in volume as he stands from his seat.

"She's not playing you! Before we even went on the date, she told me! She's not playing you, Tom." Harrison yells back. "I couldn't tell you! There's more to this, mate."

"I don't bloody care! You didn't think tellin' me she'd planned to fuck me over was important? You fuckin' knew and still--" Tom groans and tugs at the roots of his hair. "You let me walk around like an idiot! You're my best mate for fuck's sake!"

"Because she does like you! Tom, listen to me, ya? There's more to this, okay?"

"You lied to me!" The feeling of betrayal clouds Tom's thoughts as he yells, his only focus being that Harrison and SJ lied to him, used him for their own gain.

"Listen to me, fuck's sake!" Harrison gets up from the couch, tossing his hands out in frustration. "She can get us out of this!"

"Yeah? How the fuck am I supposed to believe that when she went out of her way to fuck around with you just fuck with me? Make sure I lose? You know, she knows Arthur and she's still willing to let me get fucked over! And you let her have that!"

Harrison just stares at Tom because he's right. Harrison doesn't know for sure that SJ can get them out of it. He doesn't know if she's telling the truth or lying. He's only got his gut to go on and his gut says to trust her. Everything in him says to trust her and even though Tom is screaming his head off about how she could still be using him, Harrison knows Tom will come to that conclusion, too. Hopefully, though, it's sooner rather than later.

"Tom, c'mon, lemme explain everything." Harrison cuts off Tom's ranting.

"Fuck off!" Tom brushes Harrison's arm away from him. "You let her do this. You let her use you, too. Fuck off."

Tom moves away from Harrison, making his way to his room and slamming the door so hard Harrison's surprised the door didn't come off the hinges. Tom rummages around his room for anything to take out his emotions out on. He's so pissed off that Harrison has kept this from him and he's pissed off that SJ would sink as low as she did to use him. Those were the two people he felt he could trust but they've both been lying to him and now he feels like he has no one. He has no one besides himself and his chest feels like someone is beating it with a jackhammer. Tom's humiliated. How is supposed to just forgive that and let it go?

Tom's phone vibrates in his pocket and he has a half damn mind not to just call SJ and tell her off himself but he doesn't. He clears the notification and throws the cracked phone onto his bed. How could he be so stupid? She played him and he fell for it. That's all he keeps thinking. Tom's never felt so betrayed in his life. Who uses people? Who uses people when they know the stakes? How could Tom have ever fell for her? Been there for her the other night? He shared his designs with her and let her in and she's been doing this. It doesn't matter if she's not using him now because once it's out there, it's out there and it'll be eating at the back of his head like the terrible lawyer jingles that won't go away. Tom will always question her intentions now and if she's lying or not. She fucked up. And yeah, so did Harrison but at least Tom knows that Harrison has his best intentions, it's SJ he doesn't fucking know about it and it hurts. He hates that it hurts. And now he's supposed to fight in just a few hours.

\-----

SJ's in one of the rooms of the club's basement wrapping her hands, readying herself for the night. A horrible knot is stuck in her throat and her head is fogged while her stomach turns. Tom hasn't texted her back, instead, she's received a text from Harrison. All he had to say was 'he's not talking to me. Give him space.' and she knows there's no redemption there. At least, not now. In order for her to even try to get a redemption is to explain in detail what's going on and she's stubborn. It's not the right time, not yet so she has to deal with Tom being pissed at her and her letting him in just that very, very small bit. Which, pisses her off more than anything. When she lets someone else in, they leave. And he's leaving, technically. It's her fault. But he's going to leave her high and dry without talking to her and that's what hurts the most. She'd hoped that Harrison would tell him and he'd want to talk to her, to get her side but it doesn't seem like she's going to get that lucky. Of course not, why would she?

"What happened to your face?" Matty's voice pulls SJ's and Mikey's attention to the door. Relief floods her at the sight of her tired friend.

"He's an idiot and fought Ian." SJ rolls her eyes.

Matty smirks. "Nice." He walks up to Mikey and fist bumps him. SJ scowls at the two. "He strangled you, Mikey can kick his ass any day he wants." Matty says with more sass than necessary.

"Can fight my own battles." SJ mutters, getting to her feet.

"Sure you can, Rocket." Mikey walks up to her and tosses an arm around her shoulder, your gloves in hand.

"Fuck you." SJ shrugs him loose before turning her stare back to Matty. "Where've been anyway?"

"Work." Matty groans as they enter the hallway. "I was booked all day and I need caramel frappe and a nap."

"We'll get right on that." SJ pats his back, a grin coming to her face.

"Gee, thanks." Matty retorts as they enter the center of the basement. "Good luck." Matty changes his tone with his words, sending her a genuine smile.

"Thanks." SJ nods, staring at the ring while Matty walks to his spot to stand and watch.

"You ready?" Mikey asks.

"Ready as I'll ever be." SJ says, faking a confident smile.

"You sure?" Mikey asks, helping SJ into the ring.

"Yes." SJ widens her eyes for emphasis.

Mikey helps SJ with her gloves and she walks to the center of the ring, facing her opponent. He's a guy, of course, and twice her size. He looks angry and he smells rancid. It's just another thing to add to SJ's already shitty day.

The match starts and immediately, SJ takes a hard hit to her face, making her stumble backwards. In the crowd, Tom is watching with Harrison and Arthur as usual. Tom winces watching SJ take another hit and Harrison scrunches his face. Tom might be pissed off at her and he'd love to say he doesn't feel bad, but god, his heart aches watching her take a beating. She never falls but she's getting her ass handed to her and it's killing him. In fact, Tom wonders if not texting her back, not going to her and asking her side of the story, is part of it.

SJ takes another hard hit to the face and Tom winces once, looking away this time. He hesitates to look back and when he does, SJ is on the floor of the ring, spitting out blood. Her opponent doesn't let her rest either. He's on her in seconds but luck happens to be SJ's side this round. The bell rings, signaling the end of that round. Tom sucks in a sharp breath looking to Harrison who looks just as worried as him. But, Arthur, Arthur has the smuggest look Tom has ever seen. It's almost enough to make Tom get up and punch him in the face right then and there. It's disgusting. They're watching SJ get pummeled and he _likes_  it.

Tom scoffs and gets up, Arthur's hand flying to grab Tom's arm, yanking him back. "Where do you think you're going?" Arthur demands.

"The toilet. Not allowed to take a piss by myself, now?" Tom snarks, Harrison having to look away to conceal his smile of pride.

Arthur glares at Tom, grip tightening on him. "Watch your mouth." Arthur says through gritted teeth.

Tom yanks his arm free. "Yeah." Tom replies curtly before exiting the room.

"What's wrong with him?" Arthur looks to Harrison.

"You'd have to ask him." Harrison quips, turning his attention to the ring where SJ is standing in the corner with Mikey.

SJ's head is throbbing. Her ribs ache and she feels like someone attacked her entire face with a hammer. It all hurts and at this point, she wants to give up. She can't but she wants to. Her mouth is bleeding and she can't tell if it's just because her opponent burst a blood vessel or if she's missing a tooth or maybe bit her tongue. Her nose is bleeding and her sports bra and a good portion of her chest have small streaks of blood.

"Hey, what's up?" Mikey whispers.

"He pivots." SJ mutters, holding the rag to her nose before taking a drink of water.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Mikey raged. "You're paying attention to how he fucking moves and not the fucking fight. SJ." Mikey is almost visibly shaking from pure rage.

"No," SJ says flatly. "He punched the shit out of me so I paid attention  _then_. Now, I gotta get up and win." SJ pushes the bloodied rag and water bottle to Mikey before moving to the center of the ring.

She gets into position with her opponent as the bell for the second round starts. Mikey turns to glance at Matty in utter confusion and disbelief but Matty just shrugs, just as confused as Mikey. Of all things, SJ doesn't just lay down. She gets up and up and up. She has to be knocked out and beaten to a bloody pulp before she stops kicking. But, she rolled over and let this guy continue the beating. Mikey and Matty want to burst, combust watching it and the only thing they can do is hope she pulls these next two rounds out.

And she does.

Her first came back and with a final punch, she knocked her opponent off his feet and was on him quicker than he could even process what was going on. She won. Her arm was raised, declaring her the winner and her eyes fell on Tom who was finally making his way back to his seat. Her heart ached like she'd be stung by a thousand bees with the sight of him. Disheveled hair and not his usual mess, his hair was disheveled from the constant running of a worried hand through his hair. But his brows were knitted together, mouth in a tight line showing his distaste. Her stare moves to Harrison who just gives her a gentle nod, one of reassurance.

Tom inhales sharply watching her leave the ring and his head goes back, eyes closed in relief. He couldn't watch her take a beating for another round or two. It meant he didn't get to watch her win but that's a lot better than the latter. But she's won so he can go right back to being pissed off at her. He doesn't have to worry now. He can be angry, upset, betrayed, and heartbroken. She's not his responsibility to worry about. That's on her friends.

"SJ, look at me." Matty says, pulling her hand away from her nose back in the room where she got ready. "What happened out there?"

"It's nothing." SJ mutters, holding a blood-drenched rag in her hand while Matty looks over her face.

A sad sigh leaves his lips as he goes to his first aid kit. "Can you give us a minute?" Matty looks to Mikey.

Mikey shakes his head, arms crossed. "Why?"

Matty narrows his eyes, darting them between SJ and him, silently hinting that he's going to get SJ to talk. Mikey groans but agrees without another word. The door shuts behind him, leaving Matty and SJ to themselves. Matty cracks the ice pack and hands it to SJ while he works on getting some gauze for her nose.

"Okay, you wanna tell me now?"

"Not really." SJ mumbles, eyes closing with exhaustion. Matty taps her hand so she'd open her eyes. His blue eyes are sad like a lonely ocean in the coldest winter. "Tom hates me now."

"What?" Matty asks with a huff.

"I told Harrison to tell him about the date and everything."

Matty nods, giving her the 'yikes' expression. "Not talking to you now?"

"Nope." SJ says before leaning over the small garbage can and spitting blood into the bin. "Looked pretty pissed when I saw him, too."

"Okay," Matty says. "And how would you feel if he had went on a date with me to get inside of your head?"

"Well, I'd probably punch him in the face which makes him a better person than me." SJ chuckles.

"Yeah, exactly." Matty says. "So, oh well. He'll get over it. He left after you get your ass kicked the first round." Matty informs her. "I wasn't watching much but I saw him and he couldn't watch you get hurt. So, I'm just saying, trying talking to him." Matty reasons and SJ goes to counter but Matty doesn't let her. "I know that's foreign for you and you don't have to tell him your shit, but just tell him point blank, man. He'll get over it."

"How do you know?" SJ winces as Matty presses around her eye to make sure nothing seems broken.

"Because you like him enough that you give a shit that he's not talking to you. And I like him. I think he's good." Matty side smiles, moving his touch to her other eye.

"Thanks, Matty."

"It's what I do." Matty smirks. "I think you're good. I mean, you're gonna have some gross bruises and shit, but I think you're okay." Matty assures before looking to her side. "Does this hurt though?" Matty pokes her side and SJ hisses in pain, moving away from him.

"Yes, yes it does." SJ snapped

"I had to check." Matty defends with his hands in front of him.

SJ pulls the barley bloodied gauze from her nose to see it's finally stopped bleeding. "You could have... _asked_."

"You might've lied." Matty mocks.

"You suck." SJ groans, taking the ice pack and moving it to her ribs.

"Says the one who looks like they were hit by a bus." Matty reaches for SJ's bag, pulling out a hoodie and sweatpants for he.

"You wanna look like this?" SJ retorts, taking the clothing from him after tossing the gauze into the garbage can.

"I'm good." Matty laughs, cleaning up the things from his first aid kit.

SJ allows silence to fill the room after tossing the sweats on over her clothes and watches Matty clean up. She lets his words sink in and tries to accept them. Matty is probably right. Harrison will talk to Tom more and Tom will eventually hear SJ out. But, it still eats at her because she knew what she was doing was wrong but she did it anyway. She went along with it too long and hid it. Secrets don't make friends. They cause hurricanes.

Matty helps SJ to her feet and the two exit the room. Her arm crosses her stomach, holding the ice pack in place. Mikey stares at her and he feels bad but there's a sense of pride. She gets her ass handed to her but she walks out with Matty with her head high. She's incredibly resilient.

The three of them make their way to the center of the basement, to their usual spots where they watch the fight. Tom might be pissed at her and she might want to just go home, but she's going to see how he does because she cares. Tom is in the center of the ring and his eyes meet hers. His mouth is taut just like it was before and his eyes hold anger. It's no surprise but SJ hopes that it will help him. Maybe him being pissed off at her will actually get him to win. That was Arthur's idea. Get Tom pissed and he'll win.

If only that were the case.

Just like with SJ's first round, Tom is layed out. He takes hit after hit after hit until the ref finally calls the round. SJ can see his chest visibly heaving with every breath but there's a fired glint in his eyes. They're different, sure, but not as different as they like to think. He's not going to roll over either and he's going to turn back around and lay out this guy as if Tom never took a hit.

SJ watches him take the ring for the second round and his back is to her. She gets a new view of the burns she can see clearly despite the flimsy lighting and distance between them. They're still red and inflamed, a little better than they were the other day, but still bad. A lump jumps to her throat and she finds herself looking to her worn shoes, not wanting to watch. But, she's not the only one who notices the burns.

"SJ." Mikey's voice is stern. SJ meets his eyes, biting her cheek. "Burns, aren't they?" He asks. SJ nods in response, moving her eyes to watch the fight.

"Fuck." Matty mutters.

"You knew?" Mikey asks, sounding almost offended she didn't say anything.

"Mhm." She hums watching Tom win the second round.

Matty and Mikey exchange worried glances but they don't say anything. What are they supposed to say? They know what Arthur did to SJ and there were no words that could ease that. So, what are they supposed to say to her when someone she cares about, who isn't talking to her currently, has burns from the same person? They know she's freaked and that's part of why she's putting so much pressure on herself. But, it's more than that. No one deserves to be burned so they're sad for Tom. The two of them find themselves empathizing with him. It's just painful.

Tom wins the final round making him the winner of the match. SJ gives him a soft smile when he looks to her but he just glares before looking away. He looks to Arthur who was glancing between the two of them. Tom might have won but by the red tint to Arthur's face, one would think Tom just lost everything. To Arthur, it can't be some coincidence that both Tom and SJ do terrible in their first round. Tom is pissed beyond belief, being snarky, glaring at SJ who looks like a kicked puppy. Arthur needs to know why they're acting like this and what they've told each other.

Arthur gets up and watches SJ head for the exit. He makes the decision to quickly approach Tom and Harrison, telling them to meet him outside when they're done gathering their things and before Tom and Harrison had a chance to respond, Arthur was walking away from them, leaving them both a bit scared for what awaited them outside.

Arthur leaves through the same exit SJ had left and spots her outside the building, checking her phone while Mikey and Matty chatted. He didn't hesitate to walk up to the group of three. SJ, Mikey, and Matty looked to him as he approached, all them showing the same expression of confusion.

"Can I have a word with Witter?" Arthur asks but his tone expresses that it's a demand.

"Nah," Mikey chortles. "You can fuck right off."

"Witter." Arthur looks to SJ and she sighs.

"Five minutes." SJ shrugs, handing Matty the ice pack.

"Rocket, c'mon-"

"You heard her. Give us five minutes, Yeun." There's a sinister grin tugging at Arthur's mouth, satisfied it didn't take any convincing to get SJ to talk to him.

"C'mon, we'll go back inside while we wait for the Uber." Matty jerks his head towards the door, urging Mikey to let them be.

"We shouldn't leave them alone." Mikey mutters below his breath as they walk away.

"That's why we're going to find Tom and Harrison." Matty concludes, opening the door for them.

The second they disappear into the building, Arthur's hands go to the collar of SJ's hoodie, slamming her against the brick wall of the club. Her head smacks the brick and a tingling sensation throbs through her neck and the back of her head. Her eyes shut and she yells out in pain.

"What did you tell him?" Arthur's fists ball more fabric into his fist with the hard words.

"What the fuck, man?" SJ yells, her hands trying to pry Arthur's off of her. "I'm getting so tired of people pushing against fucking walls."

"What did you tell him?" Arthur demands louder this time and her pushing against harder against the wall.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" SJ yells back, pain radiating through her body.

"Don't play stupid." Arthur snaps, pulling SJ towards him and then slamming her against the wall again.

"Stop! You fucking jackass!" SJ tugs at his fingers but his fists stay locked on the fabric.

"What. Did. You. Tell. Him." There's venom in Arthur's eyes but SJ doesn't falter.

"I have no fucking idea what the hell you're fucking talkin' about. You're literally paranoid as hell! Let me the fuck go!" SJ pushes against him, arms straining and flexing.

"Do you not learn?" Arthur sneers, pulling her up so only her toes brush against the pavement.

"I don't know what  _fuck_  you're even talking about!" SJ's hands go back to Arthur's trying to pry his grip from her again.

"Tell me what you told him or I'll make sure he won't be able to move for the next month."

SJ isn't stupid. She knows full and well he's talking about Tom. So that comment, that comment threatening Tom's well-being, it should make her pause. Catch her off guard and frighten her but it doesn't. Her face remains hard and pissed, bruised and beaten but full of fight and spite.

"Who the hell are you talkin' about?" SJ snaps back.

"Who do you think?" Arthur rolls his eyes.

"Tom?" SJ asks, playing up his name as a genuine guess.

"Yes, who else?" Arthur sneers.

"Could have been anyone if we're being fucking honest." SJ quips. "What the fuck would I tell him and why the fuck would I tell him shit? He ain't even talkin' to me."

Arthur isn't buying it. "Last chance, Witter."

SJ can tell by his tone and the stone cold expression that he's serious. He's going to go in on her if she doesn't talk but that's the thing,  _she_  hasn't told him anything.  _Harrison_  did. She isn't lying, technically.

"I haven't told him a fucking thing! Maybe he's just tired of your sadistic ass!"

Arthur pulls her back and slams her against the wall again, this time her head hits so hard, everything starts spinning and her vision blurs for a few seconds. Her eyes widen as she blinks, trying to regain herself and ignore the pain radiating through the back of her head. But, before she can, Arthur pulls his fist back and SJ's eyes slam shut, her head turning to the side and bracing for impact. The impact was going to be enough to knock her out, that she knew for sure. Arthur has a hard hit and he doesn't miss. It's all or nothing with him. But, the impact never comes.

"Get the fuck off of her before I bloody up your damn suit." Mikey's got a hold of Arthur's arm and fist while Tom is prying Arthur's grip from the collar of SJ's hoodie.

She lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding with the sight of the two of them. Tom frees her and her legs give out. Tom's quick to catch her and hold her up. There's fear and worry written across his face, similar to the other night in the pouring rain but, there's still a hardness to his expression. SJ's heart thumps in her throat as she stares at him and Tom's does the same, aching and wanting to scream for a thousand reasons but the two don't yell.

"You alright?" Tom whispers as Harrison is helping Mikey move Arthur further away.

"Always." SJ mutters.

Tom licks his lips, a cut splitting his bottom one. He shakes his head and looks to Matty who's standing to the side and watching everything unravel, knowing he can't help with Arthur and wanting SJ and Tom to have a minute. Tom can't be here anymore and if he doesn't get to Harrison, Harrison's likely to lose his cool. So he pushes his concern aside despite his gut telling him to tell her to tell him the truth. He's picked up on her 'always' routine and he's livid, of course he is, but he could let it go for a few minutes to make sure she's really okay. He could but there's Arthur.

"Okay." Tom says, jerking his head and signaling Matty to take over.

SJ's heart sinks as Matty comes over and helps SJ sit on the ground. Tom lets them be, walking away and not looking back. Tom grabs Harrison away from Arthur and Mikey backs off as well. Arthur goes to straighten his suit, a satisfied grin coming to his face as he looks to Tom.

"Thank you for pulling these animals off of me." Arthur says but his voice is contradicting to his statement.

Tom's jaw is squared as he narrows his eyes in disgust. "Just don't want them to be arrested for assault." Tom mutters, eyes locked with Arthur's, every care he's ever given completely gone.

Mikey and Harrison look to Tom, eyes wide and shocked by his statement.

"Excuse me?" A dumbfounded expression crosses Arthur's face.

"I'd punch you my fuckin' self if I weren't so damn tired."

He hates that he cares so much for SJ right now but he does. He cares about her even after finding out she's lied and used his best friend. Tom's issues with her are just that,  _his_  issues and as far as Tom knows and cares, Arthur can deal with him. Leaving SJ out of it. Tom will take whatever Arthur wants to dish out if it'll keep him away from SJ.

"Let's go." Arthur walks up to Tom, grabbing him by the hood of his hoodie and pulling him with him, Harrison moving quickly to follow them, demanding Arthur let Tom go.

They walk around the building where Arthur already has a car waiting for them. Arthur is fueled with fury and rage while Tom is fueled with the same but he's got that extra bit of heartache and physical pain to add to his lack of caring.

"Get in the car." Arthur opens the door, his grip still tight on Tom's hood.

Harrison looks at the both of them and crosses his arms in protest. "Fuck no."

"Get in the fucking car." Arthur's teeth are clenched but Harrison looks like he's going to swing at any moment.

"Get in the car, Haz. It's fine." Tom says, agitation seeping into this words. Harrison goes to protest but Tom cuts him off. "It's fine."

Harrison sends a final glare to Arthur before getting in the car. The doors lock the second Arthur slams the door shut. He releases Tom and towers over him but Tom just stands toe-to-toe with him. What's he gonna do? Hit him?

"You don't disrespect me like that." Arthur warns with a finger pointing out.

"Leave 'er alone." Tom responds.

Arthur laughs in Tom's face. "Why do you suddenly assume you have a say in the matter?"

Tom's expression doesn't change and it just fires Arthur up more. Tom stays flat and ready for whatever Arthur is going to throw at him, just like SJ. Resilient.

"Fuck off and leave her the fuck alone." Tom's words are threatening, giving Arthur a taste of his own medicine which he doesn't appreciate.

Arthur's hand comes back and he slaps Tom across the face. Harrison witnesses it in the car and tries to unlock the door but there's no unlock button in the back. He just struggles with the door while Tom looks back at Arthur, stinging cheek turning a bright red.

"Keep running your mouth, Holland." Arthur taunts. "You lose tomorrow, you're _all mine_." That gets Tom to dodge his stare. Arthur's smile is sinister as he's pleased with how Tom backs down the second losing is mentioned. "Now, get in the car and my driver will take you home."

Tom shakes his head, opening the car door. He sends Harrison a warning stare, silently telling him to stay quiet. It's for the best. At least, for now.


	12. hoping on the rain

Tom stirred awake, body cracking and aching as he rolled over, facing his curtain-covered windows. His eyes slowly opened, staring at the curtains in a state of exhaustion. Everything hurt from the day before. Ribs, head, face, stomach, hands, and unfortunately, his heart still ached. He closed his eyes and replayed the events of stopping Arthur all over again.

Arthur's face was red as a stop sign and he was going to hit her. SJ's face turned to the side and scrunched, looking terrified but Tom and Mikey ran without a word and just stopped it. There was no thought process. Tom didn't think before doing it because he didn't have the time and quite frankly, he didn't care. Sure, he'll probably pay for it but even laying in bed with terrible aches it'll take a bottle of ibuprofen even ease a fraction of, he doesn't regret it. She was terrified and he's not gonna let Arthur hurt her. He just wishes she wouldn't have lied to him.

Tom opens his eyes again, noticing no sunlight coming through the bottom of the currents. Instead, he can hear the pelting the rain hitting his windows. He rubs his face with a sigh, remembering the night with SJ because the rain reminds him of her and in more than just what happened the other night. It's rain because it's the first time he got to really sit down and talk with her. Rain usually sucks the hope out of people. It leaves them feeling sad and sometimes uncomfortable but all the rain did that night and right now is give Tom hope. Hope that maybe he's worth her time and she'll let him in.

He grabs his phone form the charger and unlocks it. He's met by a text message from SJ. It was sent last night after he'd already fallen asleep and there's an uncontrollable warmth that spreads through his chest.

_"Thanks for tonight ya know pulling arthur away and shit and mikey told me what you said to arthur so thanks and im really sorry"_

To say it was unexpected would be an understatement. Tom just didn't expect her to bother texting him despite the night before. She seems the kind of person to just let people do their thing. She's all but literally said those words. But, she texted him anyway because he deserved the thanks and Tom is kicking himself because there's no way she's using him. He's going to stay pissed about the lying and about the entire situation but that text and look of on her face when he caught her last night, it's enough. She looked at him like he was her hope in the pouring rain.

Tom scans the screen and allows himself to reply. It's simple and to the point because he needs a few more days until he's ready, really ready to talk to her. A few days won't hurt and he hopes she'll understand. Eye for an eye even. So, he sends his message and tosses the blankets away from him and places his feet on the floor.

The scent of scrambled eggs clouds Tom's nose as he enters the hallway and goes to the kitchen. Harrison is standing over the stove, making breakfast, Tom's stomach growling with the sight of the food. Tom walks over the island and takes a seat, Harrison glancing over his shoulder with a quirked brow.

"You alright, mate? Look a bit like death." Harrison chortles going back to his food, one of the few things he can cook without issues.

"I'm not wrong for being pissed, ya?" Tom asks bluntly.

Harrison turns back around and shrugs his shoulders. "Nah, think it's normal to be pissed but I think you should talk to herself, still."

"She talk to you?" Tom asks as Harrison turns around again.

Harrison pauses for a few beats. "Nope. Had to guess, she went home and her friends had her. Arthur seemed to scare her. Why?"

"She thanked me for it. I dunno."

Harrison turns the stove off, removing the small skillet and dumping half of the eggs onto a plate. "What'd you say?"

"Don't mention it." Tom says as Harrison hands him the plate of eggs and a fork.

"Alright," Harrison sighs in a bit of frustration before getting another plate down from the cabinet and turning to Tom. "Do you want to be pissed at her? Do you want to talk to her? What do you want to do?"

"What if this is just a persona and she's playing us?" Tom challenges.

"Nah," Harrison shakes his head. "Don't think so."

"You remember the first day we met her. She wasn't exactly pleasant." Tom argues.

"Don't care." Harrison defends. "I think  _that_  was a persona. The person she is with you, that's her if you ask me." Tom shoves a forkful of food into his mouth with Harrison words, unsure if he should believe Harrison or not. Harrison wants Tom to be happy. He wants everyone to just get along. He wants what's absolutely best for Tom but Tom fears maybe that's left Harrison a little gullible. "Don't believe me, that's on you."

"I trusted you both and--"

"Fuck's sake." Harrison groans. "You know I'd have told you about everything if I thought you needed to know. Why didn't you tell me Arthur's been burning you?"

Harrison immediately freezes as does Tom. Harrison wasn't supposed to tell him that. Of course, he's not blind and he did see the burns on Tom's back and he had planned to play it off and ask about them today. But, the events of last night happened and Harrison wasn't thinking. What's said between SJ and Harrison stays between SJ and Harrison but that's just been broken and Harrison doens't know how he's going to get himself out of that one.

"What'd you say?" Tom asks him as if giving Harrison a chance to rephrase his wording.

The only person Tom has told is SJ and only because she saw. For Harrison to know, it's easy for Tom to know SJ is the one that said something. Arthur wouldn't and he thought SJ wouldn't either but SJ is clearly full of surprises. Harrison could have guessed it was Arthur because who else would be burning Tom? But, by the look on Harrison's face, Tom knows there's not a single question in Harrison's mind and he just knows. Harrison knows it's Arthur and Tom is livid.

Harrison goes back to his plate, pouring his eggs onto the glass. "I, right," Harrison mutters. "Um, yeah." He turns back around, plate in hand, fork in the other. "Why didn't you tell me?" There's no undoing it. He can't unring the bell.

"How do you know it's Arthur?" Tom's eyes are narrowed and he's asking to see if Harrison is going to lie to him or just spit it out.

Harrison purses his lips and shrugs a single shoulder. "She was worried, alright?" It kills Harrison a little to tell him. He's not one to go back on his word.

"Oh," Tom slams his fork down, a dry chuckle coming from his throat. "So, SJ wants shit to stay between people when it's convenient for her but when it's other people, she can't be assed?"

"She didn't know what to do, Tom." Harrison rolls his eyes, finding Tom's outbursts a little theatrical. "She gives a shit about you and for the life of me, I don't fuckin' know why because you're not giving her the benefit of the doubt and you should."

Tom can feel the anger bubbling and boiling through his veins. "That how you feel? Date her then. I don't fuckin' care anymore."

Tom picks his fork back up and Harrison just stares at him. "She told me because she's been planning on to get us out with Arthur. She's willing to risk her own life to save us. To save you. So, maybe you should care a little bit."

Ever since the fallout with Tom's family, he's quick to jump to not caring. He's quick to snap. His own family left him, betrayed him when he needed them. Sure, it was all his fault and he had it coming but family is supposed to stick with you, thick and thin. They didn't. Harrison did. So, Tom is willing to make an effort with people but when things get sticky, when they do something where he's going to get hurt, he runs. It's easier to run than get betrayed again and again and again. But, Tom needs to listen to Harrison.

"She what?" Tom asks, the anger leaving his face.

"You're not gonna like the plan she's thinking about but she's trying, alright? Yeah, she fucked up and I fucked up but you fucked up, too."

"What's she thinking?" Tom asks and there's no bitterness in his voice this time.

Harrison shakes his head. "I want her to tell you." Tom's face hardens once more and Harrison doesn't let him get a word in. "It'll be better coming from her because  _she can explain what she's thinking_. I don't read minds."

"Fuck." Tom groans and he hates how he's reacting. "I'm being a dick, aren't I?" Harrison's words hit deep and Tom knows deep down he's right. It's just letting that sink in.

Harrison chuckles. "Just a bit." Harrison shoves some food into his mouth. "Can't blame you, though."

"'M sorry." Tom apologizes, going back to eating his food. "I'll, yeah I'll talk to her."

Tom doesn't have much choice but to talk to SJ, not right now. He does have to talk to her sooner rather later thanks to Arthur wanting Tom to get with her. But, Arthur has already ignited a spark and that spark is turning into a roaring fire that isn't going to be able to be extinguished with threats much longer. His fear of Arthur is wearing down so he'll talk to SJ when he feels he can hear her out the way she deserves.

Harrison nods allowing the conversation to die. To Harrison, it's better to quit why they're ahead. If he pushes anything else or states anything else, Tom will probably fly off again. Deep down, Harrison wants Tom to go talk to SJ now. And he wants Tom to tell her exactly why he's pissed because maybe if Tom gives her that, she'll give him her side. They might be able to make progress and Harrison knows Tom is more willing to talk so maybe his willingness will make SJ talk. Maybe.

Back at the diner, SJ is bussing a few tables, ignoring the pain in her ribs. When she got back to Mikey and Matty's, the two helped get her some ice and make sure she was comfortable in bed. They made sure she was okay but her mind always fell back to Tom because he didn't have to help and he did. Mikey can take Arthur but Tom helped and he helped her. So, she owed him a thank you and an apology. She owed him an apology anyway even though she figured he'd ignore her. She would ignore him if the situation were reversed.

"SJ?" Sheryl pulls SJ's attention towards the register, most of the diner fairly empty thanks to the robbery.

SJ walks over to her, container of dirty plates under her arm. "What's up?" SJ asks, shaking the thoughts of Tom away.

"Why don't you go home?" She offers and SJ just shakes her head.

"Why?"

Sheryl looks SJ up and down with sympathy and she doesn't want to say it, but she needs to. "You come in looking worse every day. You're limping a little and you have some bruises that are cause for concern. Maybe you need to rest."

SJ has to remain composed. She can't let her anger or annoyance with Sheryl show. "Are you firing me?" SJ keeps her voice flat.

Sheryl shakes her head. "No, but a few others have brought their concerns to my attention, a few customers even." Sheryl explains. "I think you need a few days to yourself."

It's so unfair. Everything she's doing is to keep her and Travis afloat but there always has to be something to come in and toss a cinderblock into her boat, trying to sink her. She can't afford to lose this job. It's just not in her cards.

"I need the money, Sheryl. I can't afford a few days off." SJ almost pleads and she feel the tears of frustration and devastation behind her eyes.

"You still work at the gym. Maybe you can pick up a few extra shifts." Sheryl tries to reason but she doesn't get it. No one ever gets it.

"I can't. I'm pushing hours there as it is. The only reason I have what I do is because Maurice is an old friend, Mikey's friend. I need this money. What am I supposed to do?"

"I know things are hard right now, with everything with Travis, but maybe this will be good for you. I'm sorry, SJ but you need the week off to heal and get yourself together."

"The week?" SJ's eyes widen with heartbreak. "I had to scrape up everything I could find just for heating. Taking a week off? That's not going to do anything."

The bell chimes above the door and the two of them look to see Mikey and Matty coming in. SJ rolls her eyes at their incredible timing.

"You take a week off or I have to let you go. I can't have my employees looking like they're in a fight club." Sheryl's voice turns stern and SJ knows it's hopeless.

"Fine." SJ caves and rests the bin of dirty dishes on the counter. "I'll be back next week." SJ takes off her apron and starts for the back to grab her things.

SJ takes a moment in the backroom to breathe. She needs a second because if she doesn't, she will snap on Sheryl and she will get herself fired. SJ just doesn't understand how people can be so cold when it comes to other people's financial problems. Of course, people have their own problems to worry about but this is different. SJ is the main provider and she has been for years now. Sheryl knows that and it just feels like SJ is being stabbed in the back over it. Without this job, the hours, they'll lose the house. She won't be able to help Travis. He has a small income and he has the checks from the government that come once a month, but it's not enough. It's never enough because why would the government care? It doesn't affect them. People only care when it affects them.

SJ clocks out and walks to the front of the diner, paying no attention to the other employees or Sheryl. She walks right for the door, walking past Mikey and Matty knowing they'll follow her right out. The door swings open with the rage of SJ's push against the glass. Mikey catches the door from swinging back and allows Matty to follow after SJ.

"What happened?" Matty asks.

"I get the fuckin' week off because I'm in a fuckin' fight club." SJ storms, her words coming out sarcastic and snarky.

"What?" Mikey keeps up with SJ's pounding feet.

"Yeah, customers and co-workers were bringing up their _concern_ or whatever." SJ grits her teeth, one hand putting air quotes around 'conern' and the other hand tugging hard on the strap of her backpack. "It's fuckin' stupid! There's no fuckin' rule in that fuckin' handbook about this. I would know, I read it start to fuckin' finish three times and can recite the whole damn thing back to her. She's an inconsiderate bitch."

Matty's eyes widen and he knows SJ is dangerous when she's like this so he doesn't say a word. It's Mikey who does. "It's bad for business."

SJ turns on her heels almost too quick with the wet pavement from the rain earlier, Mikey running smack into her. "Really? You wanna fuckin' go there with me, Mike?" If SJ were in a cartoon, there would be smoke and steam flying right out of her ears.

"I told you this would happen but you didn't listen." Mikey argues.

"Mikey, don't." Matty whispers.

"Oh, no, Matty, let 'im finish. Go on about how you know so much, Mikey. Go on, give me the 'I told you so' speech." SJ gestures a hand out, waiting for the speech Mikey seems to be dying to tell her. 

Mikey looks down to SJ and he's ready to off fly the handle with her. It's not so ridiculous she's asked to take a step back. If it were a one-time thing, yeah she could be pissed but SJ walks into work after every weekend looking worse. Her bruises start to heal and she comes in with fresh ones. It's bad for business and small businesses need to keep up their appearance. If not, they'll go under. People will get the wrong idea. It's smart and Mikey warned her about losing her jobs if she kept fighting. She barely made it last year.

"I told you so." Mikey scoffs. "You barely kept your jobs last year and Rocket, you know the only reason Maurice kept you on two days a week is because I asked him to."

SJ shakes her head and looks to Matty. "Yeah," She looks back to Mikey. "But you're my friend and you're supposed to understand but you don't." SJ turns back around and starts walking.

Mikey looks to Matty who actually looks like he's ready to start telling Mikey off himself. "What?" Mikey asks.

"I'm just saying, you could be nicer. She's trying."

"I'm not saying she's not but--"

"No," Matty cuts him off. "You just want her to listen to you and she's not going to."

"I don't want her getting hurt." Mikey reasons.

"Oh, I know." Matty huffs. "I think the only person who doesn't see that is SJ but that's not an excuse for you to be a dick to her. She doesn't need an 'I told you so', she needs us to be there. If she loses this job, she's fucked. So shut the fuck up and be her fuckin' friend. Put yourself aside."

Matty doesn't even let Mikey try to argue. He just starts walking, SJ far ahead of them and Matty allowing it to stay that way. Knowing SJ, she'll end up going to her favorite place or she'll be finding a way to distract herself. He knows her well enough to know that she needs the time to herself and he'll happily give it to her with his phone volume all the way up just in case she needs him for something and Mikey should do the same. And he does.

Hours pass and SJ finds herself walking to the club. She's never been so happy she managed to pack everything with her for once. Extra clothes, water, gear, everything she could need. She'd already had plans when she got off work and figured she wouldn't have time to stop at home. Turns out, she just didn't feel like going home and wanted to be alone. She'd even still prefer to be alone but as she gets closer to the club, Tom comes into view.

SJ's heart stops as her steps become slower, prolonging her walk. Should she talk to him? She read his text he sent that afternoon when he'd woken up but she didn't reply. Similar to what SJ prefers, she figured it was better to give him that space. But, now what does she do? It's rude of her to completely ignore him but what if he doesn't want anything to do with her right now? What if talking to him fucks everything up more than it already is? It's a lot to think about in the last two minutes of her walk.

Tom looks up from his phone and his eyes spot SJ, her eyes on her feet as she walks towards him. He doesn't want to talk to her right now. When he said he'd talk to her, he meant after the fight. Last night, he made a dumb mistake of almost losing. It wasn't a conscious mistake but there's a part of him that thinks his subconscious made him almost give up. Physical pain to outweigh the mental exhaustion and heartache of being betrayed. At least, maybe that's what happened or maybe Tom just wasn't in it and his opponent was better than him. No matter what happened in his fight last night, he just can't risk it happening again. But, similarly to SJ, he can't ignore her. That's a bit cruel given what Harrison told him.

SJ gets closer and Tom's palms start to sweat, heart thumping in his chest. Her eyes meet his and the smallest, almost awkward smile comes to her face. Her face is bruised pretty bad and Tom wonders if she'll make it out of this round. With her getting closer, he noticed a small limp, probably from the hit she took to her ribs. He doens't look too great either but he's definitely better off than she is and it breaks him a little.

"Hey." SJ says, approaching him and hoping it's the right decision.

"Hey." Tom says and looks around at the neon lights illuminating the street.

They're just silent. Neither of them knows what to say or even how to say what they want to say. SJ regrets approaching him and Tom regrets just saying 'hey' and he regrets not just going inside and pretending he didn't see her. She wasn't looking at him. He could have done that. Why didn't he just do that?

"Um," SJ pushes her hands into the pocket of her hoodie, eyes staring at her shoes. "Uh," She stutters and she doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't do this. "Good luck tonight." She manages to say and looks back up to Tom.

Tom's head tilts just barely before he nods. "Yeah, you, too." He mutters.

"Tom, I-"

Tom shakes his head. "I gotta go." He licks his lips and SJ doesn't try to continue, she gives him an understanding look.

She lets him walk away and there's a pain tugging at her heart. He looks at her differently now. There's no spark anymore. He just looks hurt and it's her fault. It hurts to see him look at her like that. She's terrified of people leaving. It's why she does what she does. It's why she pushes people away and maybe, maybe when Tom asked about her parents or about anything and she would have told him something, maybe he'd be willing to forgive her. Maybe he'd understand why she did it without her having to explain. If SJ would stop pushing people away, people who actually give a shit about her, she'd be okay.

"SJ?" Matty is standing next to her, grabbing her attention and pulling her back to reality.

"Huh?" She looks at him, shaking her head. "Sorry, zoned out."Confusion comes over her, wondering when him and Mikey even showed up. 

"You alright, dude?" Matty asks.

"Always." SJ sends him a faked reassured smile before looking to Mikey.

"I'm sorry I'm an asshole." Mikey says, eyes squinting with sincerity.

"You should be." SJ remarks, leading the way to the side of the building.

"C'mon, for real. I'm sorry." Mikey jogs beside her.

"I know." SJ says. "And I'm saying that you should be."

"I just want what's best for you." Mikey reasons as Matty catches up on the other side of SJ.

"Mikey, you can't always protect me from everything and I don't need you to or want you to. Sometimes, I just want to yell about something and have it not to turn into some fuckin' lecture."

"Lesson learned." Mikey says with the shrug of his shoulders.

"Thanks." SJ says, bumping into him.

"Can I take your bag or is that too much?" Mikey muses.

"Here." SJ pulls her backpack off her shoulder and shoves into Mikey.

He blinks at her a few times before pulling the strap over his shoulder. "What the fuck do you have in here?"

"Couple of bricks, some rocks." SJ laughs while Mikey opens the door to the building.

"Wouldn't even surprise me." Mikey mutters.

The three of them make their way down the few stairs and into the basement of the building. SJ hates how familiar the building is. It's a reminder that she's stuck. She most likely will not get to see the ocean or the stars in the silence of the night. She'll likely always be stuck in the circle of needing money, not being able to gain enough traction to get herself out.

It's like she's having to climb up a well. The rope is wet and the cinderblocks wrapping around her are slimy with muck. She gets up a few feet, sometimes even a little close to the top, the edge being just out of reach, and then she falls. She'll always be stuck at the bottom of the well where there's no ocean and the stars don't shine. The basement is her reminder and it's more than disheartening, to say the least.

The group getsto the room they're using for the night and SJ takes a seat in one of the chairs while Mikey shrugs her backpack off and rests it in front of her. She digs out her clothes and her gloves, followed by a water bottle. SJ stands up and motions her finger in a circle for Mikey to turn around.

"So," Matty starts as SJ hands him clothes so they don't have to go to the floor. "Saw you with Tom as we were walking up."

"Yeah?" SJ asks, swapping her pants out for shorts.

"How'd it go?" He asks with hesitance.

"It didn't." SJ says softly, pulling her hoodie over her head.

"What do you mean it didn't?" Matty takes her hoodie from her while she sheds her shirt, leaving her sports bra for the fight.

"I mean, it didn't. I said hey, he said hey, and then he said he had to go." SJ takes her clothes back from Matty.

Matty watches her walk back to the chair, putting her clothes back. Maybe he shouldn't have asked. "I'm telling you, he'll get over it."

SJ looks up to Matty and shakes her head. "Mikey, you can turn. How much time?" SJ drops the Tom conversation and Matty lets her. It's for the best right now.

"You got five minutes." Mikey checks the time on his phone as he relays it back to SJ.

She nods in response, grabbing her hand wraps. She wraps her hands and makes sure everything feels right. By the time she's done, it's time for them to make their way out to the ring. SJ's gloves are in hand and Matty goes to his normal spot. She takes a few breaths and preps herself silently, pushing Tom out of her mind. SJ clears her head of everything besides the anger of having to take a week off. If she's going to have to deal with it, hell, she's going to use that anger to make sure she doesn't lose.

The night is similar to most nights. Tom watched SJ fight from his seat beside Arthur. He watched her take a few hits but despite the injuries she's already sustained, she pulls out a win in the first round. There's a sense of unbelievability that comes over Tom as he watches because it's like watching a different person today compared to yesterday. Her hits are harder and faster than he's seen, especially last night. SJ's face scrunches with almost every hit she makes, likely from sore muscles. SJ's fighting is what caught Tom's attention first and it's something that continues to pull him in.

The round ends and SJ is declared the winner, her glancing to Tom as she does after every match and Tom nods, giving her a gentle smile. It's not one that says forgiveness or anything close but it's relieved. He's relieved she's okay this match because if she had another one like the one the night before, Tom isn't sure he could follow that. There'd be a pull in his bones to make sure she's okay. He can't help it.

SJ exits the ring and Arthur is pulling Tom to his feet, ushering him to the hallway for him to get ready for his fight. Harrison can't help but roll his eyes at Arthur's actions but, again, not the time to start anything.

"You better win, got it?" Arthur threatens as they walk down the hallway.

"Got it." Tom mutters, the annoyance evident.

"I don't think you do." Arthur retorts. "Your performance last night was less than perfect and I believe you owe me a nice fight tonight."

"I owe you?" Tom raises a brow with snark in his voice.

"You don't think so?" Arthur questions.

Tom's brows furrow in confusion. "Not particularly."

Harrison bites the inside of his cheek to conceal the smirk that's coming to his face. Harrison is happy and proud Tom isn't letting Arthur scare him. Of course, he's worried about that but if Arthur can't scare him, he doesn't have any leverage anymore.

"You do." Arthur sneers, shoving Tom into the room that's deemed theirs for the night. "Get ready." Arthur demands, pushing Harrison into the room as well before shutting the door.

"You owe him?" Harrison chortles.

"Probably for telling him I wanted to punch him." Tom chuckles.

Harrison shakes his head but agrees. Maybe not the smartest choice of words but it wasn't a lie. Tom would give anything to punch Arthur in the face at this point and he just might when it's all over. But the comment maybe should have been held off for a little bit. Tom's sure it'll come back to bite him in the ass.

Tom gets ready and before he knows it, Arthur is pounding on the door for his match. The boys exit the room and head to the ring. Tom looks over his shoulder to SJ's usual spot once he's in the ring. She's there, just as she is every other time. He doesn't know why she stays but she does. And he's happy she does. He nods her way and she nods back, a reassuring and delicate smile coming to her face.

Tom and his opponent take center ring and this guy is much bigger than Tom. The guy must be over six feet tall and two-hundred pounds. It's not going to be easy, not with Tom's still aching muscles and bones. But, Tom can tire this guy out even if that means losing the first round.

Which, he does.

Tom takes a few good hits and he ends up losing that round but none of the hits were major and all of them were just to get his opponent tired. Tom is quick and agile on his feet, it's how he fights when he knows the competition won't be easy. Tom is content with it because his opponent is in the opposite corner looking smug but breathing fairly heavy. But, that doesn't fly with Arthur.

Arthur knows Tom can beat this guy and it looked like Tom was intentionally losing which Arthur doesn't like. Tom is supposed to go out and win, try his hardest and win not whatever he's pulling tonight. It's not some game to Arthur and he'll be damned if Tom makes it out to be one. He's getting out of line and it's time Arthur put him in his place once more.

The next two rounds fly by with Tom taking the upper hand and winning. Pride fills his chest and he's happy he's not in excruciating pain this time. He's happy that he pushed SJ out of his head and fought. It felt like an overall good match, an ego boost he desperately needed. And it lifted a weight from his chest he didn't even realize was there. But the weight would soon be crushing him once more.

SJ locked eyes with him and smiled but she was heading for the exit as he was exiting the ring. If he wants to talk, he'll text her and he seems pretty okay. She doesn't want to crush the high that he's likely on with the win. So, she plans to just leave with her friends.

Arthur is waiting for Tom and Harrison by the hallway. His face is red and Tom doens't get it. He was told to win and that's what he did. He held up his end so what does Arthur have to be pissed about this time?

"What was that?" Arthur demands as he grips Tom in the space between his shoulder and neck, leading him down the hallway.

"I won?" Tom responds, trying to pull away from Arthur.

"The first round? You call that winning?" Arthur question with a huff.

"I won the match." Tom presses.

"After tossing away the first round. You don't pull that." Arthur warns, his grip tightening on Tom's skin while they approach the room that's theirs.

"Fine, won't happen again." Tom glares up at him.

"You're right, it won't." Arthur opens the door and shoves Tom inside, slamming the door before Harrison could come in.

Harrison grabs the doorknob only for it to be locked. Panic starts to take over his system. He didn't like the way Arthur gripped Tom or the look of pure sinister rage on Arthur's face but he laid back. He laid back because he figured the same thing Tom did. Tom won. What the hell could Arthur possibly be so pissed off about? But, now Harrison is banging on the door while he's hearing Tom yell at Arthur to get off of him.

"Shit, shit, shit." Harrison mumbles under his breath as he rams his shoulder against the door. The door doesn't budge and a painful scream that's without question Tom's hits Harrison's ears. "Let me in!" Harrison yells over Tom's scream.

Tom's scream starts to die down and Harrison rams his shoulder against the door again. He has an idea of what Arthur could be doing and he needs to get in that door,  _ **now**_. So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone.

SJ feels her phone vibrate in the pocket of her hoodie. She furrows her brows with Harrison's contact showing up.

"Yeah?" She answers, allowing her confusion to show through.

"He's got Tom in a room and I can't get in. I need your help,  _please_." Harrison's words are panicked and rushed and before SJ can even give him an answer, she hears Tom's horrific scream on the other end.

"I'm coming." SJ says, already pulling the phone from her ear.

She shrugs her backpack off and digs through it, finding the pick she always carries on the off chance she gets locked out of a house. Mikey and Matty watch her frantic state, both just waiting for her to explain.

"Arthur has Tom and Harrison can't get in the room. Make sure there's a car here when I come out of that building with him." SJ speaks so fast the boys can barely understand what she's saying but luckily they do.

And they know that what's going on in that basement is anything but good. SJ has the scars to prove it. They remember hearing her screams and the initial pain. They know what Arthur does. So, they'll be right here with a car when SJ gets back with Tom and Harrison.

SJ runs into the building, ignoring her aching muscles, and makes her way to the all too familiar hallway that reeks of dread. She sees Harrison running his shoulder into the door. His voice is going hoarse from yelling and his face is pale as SJ approaches. The second she reaches the door, Tom's screams are heard and her stomach turns with the sound.

"Move." SJ mumbles to Harrison as she crouches in front of the door handle, the lockpick in hand. She can hear Tom crying on the other side of the door and she's never been so happy she took Mikey's advice on carrying the lockpick.

"A lockpick?" Harrison asks, almost relieved SJ might actually have a way inside.

"Mikey's idea. I had a habit of forgetting my key." SJ barely explains and she hears the door unlock just as a wail comes from the door.

SJ turns the knob and shoves the door open. She gets to her feet as her and Harrison are met with the sight of Arthur having Tom pinned to the floor on his stomach and a round lighter, similar to the ones that used to be in cars, in hand and pressed to Tom's back.

"Help." Tom croaks.


	13. bad habits

When people see something devastating and heartbreaking, time seems to slow down. Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours. That's how both SJ and Harrison feel. They stare and it's only for two seconds but they stare and it feels like an eternity because Tom's face is bright red with tears glistening against the horrendous yellow lights and Arthur's knee is dug into Tom's back with the round lighter pressed up against his shoulder blade. It's a sight that only brings a burning sensation to the back of SJ's eyes and barbed wire coats around her heart. And it's a sight that just sends Harrison into a fit of rage.

Those two seconds of shock are up and Harrison lunges for Arthur, SJ moving to Tom. With a hard slam, Harrison tackles Arthur off of Tom and right to the ground. His hands grip the dress jacket and he shakes Arthur a few times before his fist comes back and connects with his skin. Everytime Arthur reaches up to try and stop Harrison, to get any form of a grip, Harrison's fist just connects again. Everything is red and Harrison can't even see anything besides Arthur's bloodying face. It's like tunnel vision all the while SJ is getting Tom.

SJ's hands glide over Tom's back, checking the burns. Luckily, they are only five new ones but they're bad. They're worse than the others but there's only five. Just five hollowed circular burns tracing around his shoulder blade. SJ shakes her head and swallows the golf ball sized lump in her throat before yanking her hoodie over her head.

"C'mon, gonna get you outa here." SJ sets her hoodie down and grabs Tom's arm to help him sit up. "Put this on your arms, it's cold outside." She hands him her hoodie and he doesn't hesitate to only use the use the sleeves, ready to protect himself from the fall air.

SJ gets to her feet and sticks out her hands for Tom to grab hold of and help him up. It's exactly what he did for her when she needed him. She didn't call him, she didn't even really want him, not exactly. But, it was Tom who helped her and it's going to be SJ that's going to help him.

"Harrison!" SJ yells, Harrison's first freezing mid-air. "Let's go." She lowers her voice and pulls at Tom's arm to get him to start leaving the room.

Harrison glares down at Arthur, his fist still held in the air and ready to come down. Arthur is just grinning beneath him, teeth coated in a thin layer of blood as if all he did was take a sip of red-colored corn syrup. He's a cocky son of a bitch and he's proud of what he does to other people. Harrison has half a mind to knock him all the way out, maybe even make sure he doesn't wake up at all. Arthur attacked his friend, his best friend,  _his family_.

"Haz." Tom's voice rings through Harrison's ears and Harrison only shuts his eyes for a second.

Harrison's fist clenches harder, but he's not going to hit Arthur again. Tom's up, he's relatively okay. Harrison can back up, he can go now. Let it go.  

"Okay." Harrison says, letting go of Arthur and letting his arm drop. He wants to get to his feet but he can't, not yet. He grabs Arthur once more, bringing his face close to his and Harrison's eyes have never been so dark before, rage and venom mixing with the usual vibrant hue. "Touch him again and I'll kill you." Harison's grip tightens before he slams Arthur into the floor.

He lets out a breath and gets to his feet, turning to face SJ and Tom. The pair share a similar expression of impressed and shock. SJ thought he was cool-headed one of the two but now she's not so sure. Maybe Harrison is the one who can have a temper and Tom just rolls with the punches. Tom on the other hand, he just didn't expect Harrison to attack Arthur. Not after knowing that Arthur will just go around and burn people. But, they're like brothers and people do for family.

"Let's go." Harrison mutters but he doesn't move, just reaches for Tom's bag. He waits for SJ and Tom to leave first in case Arthur decides to get up and finish a fight Harrison would love.

SJ just nods and guides Tom out of the room, her hand on his lower back. The walk through the hallway and through the center of the basement until they finally reach the exit. They climb the few stairs and exit the building. The cool air smacks Tom in a rush. He becomes incredibly grateful SJ loaned him her hoodie to cover his arms for the short walk to the car Mikey and Matty have waiting. SJ is shivering beside him but her mind is still focused on getting Tom away from the club and away from Arthur.

They reach the car and Mikey and Matty look a little more than worried to say the least. Tom's face is tear-stained, SJ's without a hoodie, and Harrison keeps looking over his shoulders, fists balled at his sides. The three just look like walking disasters.

"What happened?" Matty asks. "Are you okay?" Matty's attention is solely on Tom.

"Yeah." Tom says, looking down to SJ.

"Can you clean the burns?" SJ asks bluntly. "I still have the stuff you gave me at the house and Travis is--"

"Okay." Matty cuts her off, knowing she doesn't have to ramble around him.

"You guys take the car, we took my bike here." Mikey says, jerking his head towards the door and then to Matty.

"Yeah, okay. My house." SJ clarifies and Mikey just nods.

SJ is first to get into the back of the car followed by Tom and then Harrison. Mikey and Matty were already off to where Mikey had parked. SJ gave the Uber driver the address and they were on their way.

The air is thick between the three in the back seat. Tom's leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees and the burning is still prominent. It's throbbing and stinging, consistent and relentless. Everything hurts. SJ had to come and save his ass and it hurts to have to sit next to her. It hurts that she's the one willing to help him. And it hurts more because Tom still finds himself pissed about her lying and he's pissed at himself for being pissed. She didn't have to come to him, just like he didn't have to go to her, but she did. He's pissed for being pissed at her.

SJ doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what to say or how to handle it. All she knows is that Matty can clean his burns better than he can given their location. Matty actually knows how to clean them and Harrison probably doesn't. But then what? Should she tell him everything about Arthur? Maybe show him her arms? Because he looks so ashamed it's crushing her. There has to be something she can say or do.

The car pulls against the curb and the three pile out of the car after a quick thank you. The sound of Mikey's motorcycle comes from down the street and by the time Harrison, Tom, and SJ are up the stairs, Mikey is pulling against the curb. SJ leads the boys inside, leaving the door cracked for Mikey and Matty. She flips on a few lights while leading them to the living room.

"You guys can sit. I'm gonna get the kit and stuff." SJ mutters.

"SJ." Tom's voice pulls her attention before she leaves. "Here." He pulls the hoodie from his arms and she takes it from him with a nod. "Thanks." He dodges her eyes and looks to Harrison.

SJ leaves for the stairs, trying to remember exactly where the ointment that Matty had given her was and where their first aid kit is. Matty always just carries one so she doesn't usually use the one he'd given her. Matty's always a little too prepared sometimes but it does have it's advantages.

"You okay, mate?" Harrison breaks the silence.

"Are you?" Tom asks. "Been awhile since you've been that pissed."

"Fine." Harrison shrugs. "Your back though?"

"It's fine." Tom runs a hand through his messy curls.

"Doesn't look fine and you didn't sound fine." Harrison argues as Mikey and Matty walk in.

"It's fine." Tom says through gritted teeth.

"I'll be the judge of that." Matty interrupts the tension and takes a seat on the couch beside Tom.

Matty grabs Tom's shoulders and moves him so he can get a good look at the burns around his shoulder blade. Matty winces but he's relieved. They could be worse. They aren't great and they're going to scar like a bitch. The dead skin will probably peel and they're going to blister. Tom's going to be in pain there for a bit but it'll be tolerable.

"Here." SJ walks behind the couch, the first aid kit in hand with the ointment for burns and a wet paper towel.

"So, what happened?" Matty asks, taking the ointment from SJ.

"Nothing." Tom says and SJ shakes her head at Matty and Mikey.

"Arthur had him pinned to the ground with a lighter to his back. He said somethin' about Tom blowing the first round or something." Harrison tells the group what lead up to Tom being locked in a room with Arthur.

Harrison is so sick of having to hide things and keep secrets. He's fucking done. And telling them this, it's not going to hurt Tom. It's not going to change anything. They already know. SJ has burns on her arm that prove they know what Arthur does. Telling them what happened, that's just being polite.

"Thanks, mate." Tom says sarcastically, scowling at Harrison.

"He's just relaying what happened." SJ mutters.

"Oh," Tom lets out a dry chuckle looking to her, astounded by her audacity. "That's real good comin' from you."

" **Anyway** ," Matty says, "It's gonna hurt." He says quickly before lightly dabbing the wet paper towel onto the burns.

Tom's eyes slam shut and his arms extend forward, preventing him from falling. He bites his lip, trying not to yell as the burning increases everytime Matty moves the paper towel. It stings and all he wants to do is yell his head off. Hell, he'd rather the damn metal be pressing into his skin rather than Matty cleaning them right now.

SJ's stomach turns watching Tom try not to yell and she can't watch it. Maybe it makes her weak and selfish but it's not like Tom wants her help or wants her around anyway. So, maybe it's best if she does the both of them a favor and just excuses herself for a little bit.

SJ heads for the stairs and Mikey gets up to follow her but Matty stops him. "Just let her be."

"Fine." Mikey sits back in the chair and the room falls silent.

Matty moves as fast as he can to clean the burns and apply the ointment. It really didn't take too long but to Tom, it felt like an eternity. It stung so bad, he couldn't even straighten his back by the time Matty was done. It's just sore and sure the ointment is easing some of the burning but Tom knows it's going to wear off and he'll be in a world of pain soon enough. It's like a never ending cycle of pain. He gets punched in the face, lied to, used, and burned. That seems to be his life for the time being and he's less than thrilled.

So, how does someone ease their pain? They address it.

"Thanks." Tom says as he turns to Matty.

"Here." He hands Tom the ointment. "I can get SJ more so you should hold onto that. You'll need it."

"Where  _is_  SJ?" Tom asks, taking the tube from Matty's hand.

"If she isn't here, it's because she doesn't want to take part in this." Mikey quips and he's instantly granted a nasty scowl from Matty.

"Upstairs, turn right, room at the very end of the hall." Matty explains.

"Did you know?" Tom asks as he stands up. "About her using me?"

He's not even sure why he asked. They're SJ's friends. They're not going to rat her out but there's something in Tom that has to know. He needs to know if he's really the only one that was left in the dark. Is he really the only one that doesn't know what's going on? And if he is, why? Why isn't he good enough or trustworthy enough to know?

"Nope." Mikey denies but Matty isn't having it.

"We told her not to and she didn't. She didn't use you." Matty states.

His loyalty runs deep but he knows the difference between right and wrong. Mikey was far more vocal about how wrong it was for SJ to go out and use Harrison and/or Tom but Mikey's loyalty runs deeper than his moral opinion. He won't rat SJ out even when he probably should. Matty will if he feels it's best for the other party and in this situation, it is. Tom has every right to know and Matty isn't going to cover for SJ's fuck ups. Mikey can do that if he wants.

"Right." Tom scoffs. "I'll be back."

Mikey goes to open his mouth, a smart remark to try and deter him but Matty is quick to hit Mikey and shake his head. Tom is good for SJ whether she wants to admit it or not. He is and Matty is going to be the person that's going to make sure they try to hash it out. Tom isn't going to put up with her bullshit and him ignoring her and still being pissed after she saved his ass, proves that. SJ needs people who won't put up with her bullshit and will call her out. Matty doesn't want to stand in the way of that.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Mikey asks once Tom has started up the stairs, eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Matty gets up from his seat. "Yeah, why don't you?" His voice is challenging, he knows the answer but he's waiting for Mikey to admit it.

"She won't tell him anything." Mikey leans back in his chair, his confidence radiating from him.

"Not everything but she'll tell him something," Matty says, hoping he's right. "Something to drink? Water? Pop? Beer?" Matty turns to Harrison.

"Beer would be great, yeah." Harrison sighs. "Thanks." Harrison would actually love something stronger if he's going to have to listen to Mikey and Matty question the state of Tom and SJ but, Harrison keeps that thought to himself.

"He's going to go up there and SJ's gonna scream her fucking head off. She'll defend herself to preserve her name and you know that." Mikey argues, ignoring Harrison.

"Yeah, they'll start yelling, SJ will feel bad, so she'll jump him, we get to overhear  _that_  and then she'll tell him something." Matty rambles as he walks to the kitchen, grabbing two beers and a water. "It's what she did with him already."

Mikey's face scrunches together as Matty enters the living room again, handing him a beer and handing Harrison the other. Matty takes his seat, not gathering why Mikey looked confused.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Matty gives him a yikes face as he takes a drink of his water. "She slept with him and told her about her weird thing with fish." Matty explains further.

"She told him about marine biology?" Mikey asks and the confusion and hardness completely disappear.

"That's what she told me." Matty shrugs. "She told me she went to him that night and he was there for her. They fucked and then she told him about her thing with the ocean and fish."

Mikey's attention turns to Harrison. "That true?"

Harrison is perfectly fine with not being involved in the conversation especially when it concerns other people's sex lives. It's none of his business but now he's being stared at and they  _did_  wake him up.

"Uh, well, I can't speak for what they talked about but...." Harrison trails off. "Yeah, they woke me up." Harrison shrugs a shoulder.

Matty holds a triumphant smile, looking back to Mikey. "She likes him more than she's letting on so yeah, Mike, she'll come clean about everything. It might take some time but I've got more faith in her." Matty pulls his feet onto the couch and grabs the remote, turning on the TV and dropping the conversation.

Tom reaches the door of SJ's room and he can see her shadow pacing from the door and he pauses. He's so angry, and frustrated with her. All he wants to do is be there for her and be her shoulder for whatever she needs and it's just hard. It's hard when he doesn't trust her and she doesn't trust him. What do people have when they don't have trust?

Tom knocks softly and he watches the shadow under the door come towards him. The doorknob squeaks as it turns. SJ opens it and her eyes widen with the sight of him. She's surprised to see him despite knowing he was right downstairs. She just assumed with his annoyance with her, he wouldn't bother coming upstairs. Not to her room but there he is, black basketball shorts and no shirt with messy hair and yellow and pale blue bruises decorating his body.

"Hey?" She lets him in and closes the door behind him.

Tom walks into her room and looks around, noticing the posters with marine life, random facts printed onto the pictures, similar to the ones seen in science classrooms. Her room is remarkably neat, the complete opposite of her life outside of this room.

"What the fuck?" Tom turns to face her and her jaw just drops.

"What the fuck? That's what you have to say?" She crosses her arms, brows pulled together.

"Fuckin' with my best mate to get to me, yeah that's what I've to say." Tom mutters and his jaw clenches.

"You really wanna do this? Now?"

Tom gestures his hands out, knowing if he doesn't get it all out now, he won't. He'll cave and talk to her but he won't let out everything he's thinking. He won't snap on her or call her out for her shitty thinking. He'll just nod and go along with it so while his back is in pain and he's pissed off about everything tonight, he's going to hash it out with her.

"Okay." SJ says. "Yeah, and I didn't though?"

"But you were going to, were you not?" Tom's voice raises.

"But I didn't!" SJ yells. "That's the point! I didn't!"

"But you thought about it! You were actually goin' out with him and that's when you change your fuckin' mind!"

"And I didn't do it! I didn't do it! Alright?" SJ yells louder than him, taking a step towards him.

"You lied to me!"

"I didn't lie to you!" SJ screams. "I just didn't tell you! There's a difference!"

Tom looks to the ceiling in frustration. "That's your excuse?"

"It's not an excuse!"

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because of this! I knew you'd be pissed!"

"Then what was your fuckin' point? Huh? Why did you fuckin' bother? How do I know you're not working with Arthur? All this is some fuckin' show to throw me off?"

"I'm not working with him and fuck you for thinking I am! You know what I'm trying to do? Get  _your_  ass out of the mess  _you_  created. I don't know what the fuck you did to get in with Arthur but I'm trying to save your ungrateful ass."

"I'm ungrateful? You're shitting me, right? Look at you!" Tom's voice booms against the walls. "I fuckin' help you and--"

"And what?" SJ cuts him off. "I fuckin' thanked you. I came and saved your ass tonight. I am saving your ass and you know why? Because. That's the fuckin' reason. I don't have another one. Not anymore because you're in-fucking-sufferable!"

Tom heaves and she's right. She did come and help tonight. She didn't have to and if she were working with Arthur, it would have been in her best interest to just let Arthur continue. But, she didn't. She came to help him, she didn't pull Harrison off of Arthur when she could have. SJ isn't working with Arthur and Tom is just paranoid, albeit, rightfully so. SJ is just screaming her head off at him and Tom deserves it as she deserves him yelling at her for not telling him anything. But, it's just keeping the anger flowing through Tom's veins, for the moment.

"Why don't you just fuckin' tell me what the hell is going on? If you told me, I'd have somethin' to go on!"

"Because!"

"Why?" Tom asks and he's letting his anger slip, just enough for his voice to crack like a plea. "Just tell me you're not fuckin' with me and what the fuck is going on!"

"I'm not fuckin' with you! Okay?" SJ screams and the crack in his voice gets her to crack, just enough. "I give a flying fuck about you and I'm not fucking with you, alright?" She catches herself and she switches right back. "So, you owe me a fucking thank you."

A switch flips with SJ's words, her stepping forward, almost chest-to-chest with him. Tom moves forward, pushing her against the wall but not hard, just enough to pin her to the wall with his hands on either side of her head. She admits she cares for him, in a yelling match, but admitted it nonetheless. She cracked and sprang right back with the thank you remark and Tom curses himself because it's intoxicating.

"Thank you?" Tom's voice is low and rough.

SJ's heart jumps to her throat with his close proximity and taunting question. "Thank me, yeah. You heard me."

Tom's lips crash into hers in a rush. "Thank you." He mutters into her mouth.

SJ's hands go to his unruly hair and tug lightly. "Fuck you, Holland."

Tom pulls away, moving his hands to her cheeks and he thinks maybe she wants to stop but the corner of her mouth twitches up and she pushes into him. Her lips mold into his. The anger Tom felt towards her completely melts away and his hands move from her cheeks to her thighs, picking her up. A squeal falls from her lips while her legs wrap around his waist.

"Fuck you, too." Tom mutters, smirking and nipping at her neck but minding the bruise that's still decorating her skin.

SJ's eyes close and she whispers in his ear. "Fuck me then."

She doesn't have to say anything else for Tom to oblige. He brings her to the bed and strips her of her shirt. There are more bruises than the other night but she's just as perfect as ever. He kisses around her stomach and over her sports bra before his mouth reaches hers once more. SJ's knees hug either side of his hips and he's so warm.

He pisses her off and he makes a solid argument and he is addicting. It's infuriating but there's something about him standing up for himself and calling her out that just turns her on. It makes her fall that much harder for him. It makes her want him in every aspect. No one does that with her besides Mikey and Matty but they're her best friends, that's expected. Tom is different and he's so warm.

Tom's hands glide down her side and push her sports bra up, revealing her breasts. A breath escapes her throat from the cool air touching the newly exposed skin. One of Tom's arms hold him up while his other and kneads her breast, open-mouthed and sloppy kisses being pressed against her cheek to her neck. SJ's eyes flutter closed and the coil starts to build in her stomach with the heat between her legs. She reaches her hand up and pulls at the elastic of Tom's shorts, pulling them just enough to snake her hand inside and inside his boxer briefs, grabbing his hardened length. Tom's head falls into the crook of her neck with every pump of her fist.

His mouth is hot against her skin, dangerously hot but all the more inviting. His kisses trail down to her nipple and she never wants the warmth to leave. Her heart is pounding loud in her ears and it's like it's just singing for him. It's singing for him as he pulls her shorts and underwear down, tossing them across the room somewhere. Tom pushes her legs aside and he kisses up her thighs and she's already seeing stars. His lips are like little surges of electricity causing sparks up and down her spine in the best way. Tom's mouth reaches her folds and his tongue darts out, teasing her folds.

One of SJ's hands come to his hair, pulling a little harder than intended. "Tom." She moans and in his lustful state, Tom doesn't care what it would take if he got to hear his name fall from her lips like that all the damn time because it is the sexiest thing he's ever heard.

"What was that?" His voice is husky and it makes SJ squirm beneath him. Her eyes meet his and they're so dark and there's a teasing grin across his face. He could get anything he wanted from her if he keeps it up. She's wrapped around his finger and he doesn't even know it.

"Tom." Her eyes widen with the needy whimper and Tom chuckles, loving the ego boost.

Tom doesn't tease any longer, his tongue works her heat, eager and needy. He alternates between flattening his tongue and working in zig-zag formations, all just as fast and his pace just increases with her high pitch moans. One hand tugging his head closer to her and her hips buck up to his face. Tom's arm goes across her hips to keep her on the bed and she whimpers under him, the coil in her stomach begging to be snapped.

"Please," She begs, looking down to him and he pulls away just long enough to ask a question.

"Please what?" He's taunting her and all it does is make her want him more.

"Ma- _ohh_ ," SJ's cut off when Tom's mouth attaches to her clit, sucking softly. "Make me come." She rushes as her legs start to close around his head. She's so close but Tom isn't. His cock twitches with her begging beneath him and he's not ready to let her finish just yet.

"Condom?" Tom asks, releasing her swollen bud and kissing up her waist and stomach, sucking on a spot near her side.

SJ releases her sweaty hand from his matted curls and reaches to the nightstand beside the bed, pulling the drawer open and just grabbing the box. "You're a fuckin' tease."

"I could stop." Tom taunts, sitting up on his knees after tugging his clothes off. He grabs a little square package from the box.

SJ sucks on her teeth, never wanting him to stop. She watches him roll the latex over his throbbing cock and she just wants him to come back to her. And she isn't mad that she's willing to admit it.

She pushes up and lets her hands hook around his neck, pulling down with her. Her lips attach to his, hungry and needy for attention. "Don't stop." She mutters into his mouth and there's a rush of relief and adrenaline that comes over Tom.

"Hands and knees, darlin'." His voice is dark and SJ nearly whimpers at the sound alone.

Tom sits up and SJ moves to her hands and knees. He lines himself up with her soaking entrance and his tip brushes against her a few times before Tom slowly pushes in. He's so slow the anticipation is almost agonizing. Tom bottoms out and leans down, pressing kisses down SJ's back and a shiver runs down her spine. She clenches around him and a gruntled swear falls from Tom's lips.

He grips her hips and starts thrusting into her, at first slow but it doesn't last long before his thrust are fast and hard, him bottoming out every time. SJ's higher pitched moans fill his ears and it's beautiful in the most forbidden way, his head clouding and eyes closing. Tom's low moans come deep from his throat and neither can be bothered to stay quiet, not tonight when there's so much unsaid and pent-up annoyance and frustration. They just throw caution to the wind and ride out their highs together, loud and blissful.

SJ falls onto the bed, a sheer layer of sweat covering her body while she catches her breath. Tom falls beside her, taking a second to gather his breath before removing the condom and tying it off, tossing it in the small garbage can SJ directed him to.

Tom tosses SJ her clothes while dressing himself and lays back on his side once they're both dressed. His body aches all over but not an ounce of regret finds itself streaming through his veins. The aches are worth it and by the blissful and soft smile on SJ's face, he can only assume she's feeling the same way.

Her eyes are closed and her breathing has returned to normal. Her hair is a matted mess, some strands covering her face. Bruises still decorate her glowing skin and Tom's heart just flutters. There's no more anger and there's no animosity. No frustration or vendetta. He's over it. The only thing he's focused on now is how incredibly peaceful she looks facing him and how vulnerable she looks. It's a moment of peace in the chaos of their lives, in the forest fire.

Tom reaches for the strands of hair and pushes them behind her ear. Her eyes flutter open and they're the prettiest shade of brown he's ever seen. He's never liked brown eyes. They've always seemed bland. He has them and they're just, brown. One color, boring, not even very pretty. At least people with blue and green eyes, they have vibrancy and there's usually different hues within the iris, he never saw that with brown eyes. But, maybe that's because he's never paid attention. He's never felt like he needed to pay attention or even cared much to pay attention, but now he is and it's like he's seeing another galaxy with gold blotches. Her eyes remind him of venus and he's never loved brown eyes so much.

"You're beautiful." His voice is just above a whisper and SJ's cheeks flush red.

"Stop." A smile is splitting her face as she looks away from him, shyness coming through.

"Nah, I mean it." Tom's hand cups her cheek and glides it to her shoulder and to her waist, pulling her close to him.

She looks up to him and he has his flaws. Clearly. But, he's perfect to her. In this messed up world, in the universe that has fucked her over more times than she can count, it let her know him and he's perfectly flawed and she'd be damned if that four letter word wasn't taunting the back of her mind already. And she'd be damned if she'd ever say it.

SJ presses a kiss to his shoulder and he presses a gentle kiss to her head. "Stay tonight." SJ mumbles against his skin.

Tom's arm flexes and pulls her closer to him. "Gimme your phone." SJ looks up, quirked brow, showing her wonder. "Text Harrison."

"Right." SJ nods nonchalantly before her eyes widen. "OH. They're downstairs."

Tom's grip on her loosens as his laugh fills the room. "Yeah, they are."

"Oops." SJ chuckles, turning in Tom's grip to get her phone from the nightstand.

"Oh well." Tom's laugh continues as SJ unlocks her phone and hands it to him.

"Harrison can stay if he wants. Travis won't be home until late tomorrow." SJ explains. "Mikey and Matty will likely stay anyway."

"Alright." Tom types away with the hand that was wrapped around her. "Who's Travis?" Tom asks and whenever someone would ask about Travis, someone SJ shows interest in, there's always a jealous undertone but there's no jealousy in Tom's words, just curiosity. It's refreshing.

"My brother." SJ answers while Tom sends the message.

Her answer catches Tom by surprise. She didn't hesitate to answer. She gave him a detail about her life. She gave him something. There's a little glimmer of hope that she's really going to open up. He won't get his hopes up but maybe she'll tell him more.

"You live with your brother?" Tom rests the phone behind SJ before resting his arm around her waist again.

"Yeah, kinda." SJ sighs. "I swap between Mikey and Matty and here. Travis, he, uh," SJ sighs, her hand coming up to his arm and her fingers trace his veins. "He helped raise me so sometimes I just need to get away from him."

Tom's thumb brushes under her shirt and rubs her smooth skin gently. "Understandable."

SJ sighs and she doesn't want to talk about her family. If she talks about family, her mom will come up and she'll have a mental breakdown from pure fury. She'll completely lose her shit. If she talks about family, she'll talk about her dad and that'll just lead to a mess for too many reasons to count. And if she talks about family, details about Travis will come up and she doesn't want to talk about it. So, she lets Tom in about something else.

Her fingers stop tracing his veins and she extends it from her side, showing him her inner bicep, opposite the side of the burns on her other arm. Tom's eyes meet the paled skin, a burned scar in the shape of what looks to be some type of crest. It's round with two crisp detailed bucks. His brows furrow as he takes her arm in hand and leans in, looking closer.

"The bloody hell happened?" Tom asks.

SJ swallows thickly, ready to give him some answers."That's Arthur's family crest."


	14. somebody to someone

SJ's heart is in her throat and there's a part of her that regrets showing him. He'd see it eventually at the rate they're going and it's definitely easier to just show him rather than him finding out in the middle of having sex but she doesn't talk about it. There's so much that goes into that crest and Tom might push for more than she's willing to give him. But, he has burns on his back from Arthur and she needs to show him that she gets it. She understands at least some of his pain and what he's going through.

Tom's brows are pulled together and his forehead is creased while he holds onto SJ's arm. "What do you mean it's Arthur's family crest?"

SJ pulls her arm out of his grasp, resting her elbow on her hip. "So, without giving you the entire long backstory because that's not right now, basically, you know those wax pressers? Like what your Hogwarts letter would have been sealed with?"

Tom huffs and he can't help but almost laugh and close his eyes for a second at her reference. It's something so serious and she's going to go for a Harry Potter reference. "Mhm." Tom hums, opening his eyes.

"Okay, Arthur has some of those, so long story short, I've got his blinds pulled in his office--"

"You were in his office?" Tom's expression switches back to confusion.

"Do you wanna know how I got his family crest burned into my arm or why I was in his office?"

Tom sighs and he should have guessed he'd only be getting one explanation instead of two but it was worth a shot to ask. However, he will be bugging her about it because it's going to eat at him. His office of all places just seems like a weird place. Tom had kind of assumed they'd only known each other through the boxing but for her to be in his office, that would be mean they know each other on the outside. Just another question Tom has.

"Go on." Tom says and he rests an arm around her hip, pulling her a little closer to him.

"Well, the person who was supposed to save my ass, did not. Arthur barged in and saw me on his laptop so he pinned me down, took a lighter, held it the metal, and burned me because the guy who was supposed to save my ass helped him to save his own ass."

It takes everything in Tom not to start asking a thousand questions running through his head. She was working with someone but they turned on her and what does that even mean? Why even bother trying to get into his laptop and if he caught her, why not just report him? Why is everything so secretive? There's a lot going through his head but there's a look on SJ's face that says she has way too much going through her head. So, Tom opts for an easy question she might not have a problem with answering.

"Why don't you go to the police? It's his crest shouldn't they be able to help you?"

Of course going to the police could be a not-so-terrible idea. But, it's Arthur and the police don't like to mess with people with big names. Arthur has a big name, he brings in a lot of business for the city. Without anything concrete, it'd just be SJ's word against his. She's a no one and he's a someone.

"Arthur likes to own people, he likes people to know that he has them and there's nothing they can do about it. It's why he chose the crest instead of a cigar or just the lighter." SJ starts explaining because it's easier to ramble about this than actually sit and think of a coherent thought. If she starts thinking, she'll back out of telling him anything. "I didn't  _get_ anything on him. I didn't have time to put anything on a flash drive or a hard drive or anything. I know what I saw but I saw it for maybe five seconds and that's all I had. He branded me to remind me that I don't have anything besides my word and he has a ton of shit that can easily send me to prison. I don't like the idea of prison. If I'm gonna risk it, I want die-hard proof so at least he gets locked up, too."

Tom's heart plummets. SJ looks away from him and whatever she saw wasn't good. It's in the quiver of her voice and the way she dodges his face. Harrison said SJ had a plan, she's going to get them out of whatever mess they've gotten themselves into. What if that's what she was doing the first time and what if whatever she saw is exactly what she's trying to get them out of? Something isn't right, something is beyond fucked up and Tom hates  _himself_  for it. Whatever  _it_  is, he's now dragging SJ and her friends into it and he didn't even know or mean to.

Tom's arm flexes around SJ, silently giving her encouragement to tell him more. "What'd you see?"

SJ's eyes meet his and she sighs. If she goes into what she saw then she knows he'll be freaked out. Harrison looked like he was going to faint when she'd mentioned the rumor of sex trafficking. Tom is likely to actually freak out if she tells him what's on that computer, and just what she could access in the time she had. The last thing SJ wants is for Tom to start freaking out. Her reasoning might be selfish, because she likes his arm around her and she likes how close they are right now and she doesn't want to ruin it, but maybe it's not completely selfish. What he doesn't know right now, about that, can't possibly hurt him. If she tells him, he might go off the rails and confront Arthur. That would be bad for everyone.

SJ moves closer to him, her forehead resting on his collarbone. "Just lemme handle it." Her voice is soft and pleading, not demanding like Tom would have expected it to be.

His grasp on her tightens as he looks down to her. " _Let me help you._ "

Her heart pulls and a lump forms in her throat because she could use the help. She needs someone to walk up to her and take the weight of the world from her shoulders if just for a second. It's heavy and crushing and she feels like she can't straighten her back anymore because it's all so much, it's hard to walk and she just needs a break. But, she can't. If she breaks, if she lets herself breathe, there will be something there to make sure she doesn't gather all of her pieces and put herself back together. There will be something having a hand to her throat, cutting off any hope for regaining her breathing. She has Harrison and that's help enough. Harrison will listen to her and Tom is more likely to get hurt if she slips.

"It's okay." She picks her head up and meets his stare. "I got it, just trust me, okay?"

Tom sighs but he agrees because he doesn't want to fight her. He has to trust her for her to trust him. "Okay."

"I'm...I am sorry for everything." SJ says. "Lying to you."

Tom presses a kiss to her forehead and it's something no one has done before. "'S alright." Tom looks back to her and there's a smirk tugging at one side of his mouth. That was a heavy conversation and SJ is clearly done talking about it, so he might as well change the subject. "SJ?"

"Hm?"

"We smell." Tom chuckles and SJ immediately bursts into laughter.

"We smell like sex and teenager's hockey bag."

Tom's laugh booms against SJ's chest while he shakes his head. "That's oddly specific."

"Trust me, it's true." SJ's laugh vibrates with Tom's and he loves her laugh. It's slowly becoming his favorite sound. "I know it'll ruin Matty putting the ointment on your burns but I mean, I'm pretty sure your sweat already did that, but we can shower if you want?"

There's resistance in Tom answering. It's not that he doesn't want a shower or need one or even want to take one with SJ, it's that he knows those burns are going to make him want to rip his skin right off of his back. With fresh burns, Tom has literally bitten his lip so hard from trying not to scream out in agony while showering just to hide it from Harrison. Tears cascade down his face so fast he can't tell what's shower water and what's actually tears. SJ has already seen him in an extremely vulnerable situation and he doesn't know how he feels about her seeing him in another one, in the same night.

"If you don't want to, it's fine." SJ shrugs and there's no disappointment in her voice. "You can shower and then I can shower. I, um," SJ looks away for a second. "I just know it's gonna hurt and you probably haven't cleaned them real well, the old ones, so I figured if you were okay, I could help." Her voice went from confident to shy with the offer and there's a kind smile across her lips.

"Didn't take you as the caretaker type?"

Tom says and it's not to be rude. His voice a bit joking but he is surprised. Matty seems to the "mom" friend and Mikey is like an overprotective brother. SJ always came off as the wild child but she's offering to help him shower to make sure his burns gets cleaned. She was there to help Harrison save his ass.  _She_  took him to the car. She got the first-aid kit.

"Tell me why you're weird about showering and I'll tell you why I think I can be the 'caretaker type'." SJ holds up one hand to put air quotes around Tom's repeated words.

Tom sighs and his hand comes to her hip but he keeps her close to his chest. "It's...gonna hurt." Tom's cheeks flush blood red.

"I know, though." SJ says with understanding. "That's kind of, part of why I showed you the crest, so you'd know I'd understand."

Tom's thumb rubs the skin under her shirt, his eyes on his hand. "I dunno." He mutters. "I don't want you to think less of me, I guess."

SJ is visibly taken aback. She's the one that's always afraid he's going to look at her differently. Why would she see him differently because of burns? Because of being in pain over burns that are by definition painful?

"I won't think less of you for being in pain over something that's literally painful."

Tom brushes his nose against hers and SJ scrunches her face, a smile coming to her lips once more. "We'll shower after you tell me."

SJ sucks in a breath and shrugs a shoulder. "I, um," Her brows furrow as if she's trying to find the perfect words to express her thoughts. "It sounds stupid, but, I just...I always wanted to be somebody to someone."

Tom shakes his head. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I...I just want to feel like I'm somebody to someone, that's it. I want to be someone's someone, someone's person. If you see me riding the L, I'm just someone on a train. A no one, but I wanna be somebody. It doesn't have to be anyone big or anything, just somebody to someone."

_Even the seemingly most confident people still want to be somebody._

Tom moves his hand to cup her cheek and his eyes lock with hers. "You're not just someone sitting on the L to me.  _You're somebody to me._ "

He's not glancing at her lips like he has some ulterior motive or like it only means something if he can kiss her. Tom's eyes just stay on hers and they don't move or change in any way. It's all just him being completely honest. He can't really explain it. Feelings, emotions really, are weird in that way. Sometimes, people just can't explain why they feel a certain way about someone and Tom is like with SJ. She's someone to him. She is his somebody and she should know it. Tom wants to scream it from the rooftops so all of Chicago can hear him if that's what'll take for her to believe it.

SJ is strong but delicate like canvas. She can hold herself together just fine and she's resilient, proven time and time again. SJ has taken beatings and from what Tom can tell, she's had a hard life but she stays together. That said, if something comes in and tears it, cuts a part of her, she'll rip apart. She's strong on the outside but when someone with a strong emotional connection comes in and ruins it, she'll lose her strength. She'll slip and fall, lose everything. So, she should know, she deserves to know that she is somebody to someone, somebody to Tom.

Her eyes are glossed over but she's not willing to let any tears slip. " _You're somebody to me, too_."

There are those three little words at the tip of her tongue. It's only been a few weeks but she's somebody to him and she knows it's true. He's somebody to her and every piece of her just wants him. SJ would love more than anything to tell him those three words, pack a few bags, and leave. Just run for as far as they can but the reality is still there and they can't just run away. They have to face their problems and pay their debts but maybe after that, she can use those words and they'll still be true.

"C'mon, we'll shower." Tom presses another kiss to her forehead and SJ bites her lip, trying to hide the smile that won't die down.

The two of them get out of bed and SJ goes to one of her drawers for fresh clothes. Tom excuses himself to go get his bag from downstairs. He always keeps extra clothes in his bag and he's never been so thankful for it until now.

Tom makes his way downstairs where he's met with the scene of Matty and Harrison sitting on the couch with their feet up on the coffee table and Mikey ina Laz-E Boy. While Tom and SJ were busy and having a serious discussion, the three guys downstairs were relaxing with beers (and a tea) and Stranger Things playing on the TV. Two completely different atmospheres in the same house and it just baffles Tom but brings a smile to his face.

Tom walks around the couch, behind Harrison. "Where's my bag?"

Harrison turns just enough to get a glance at Tom. "Here." Harrison reaches to floor and hands Tom his bag. "We're still saying, ya?"

Tom shakes his head, a chuckle escaping. "Yeah, we're staying."

"Oh, cool." Harrison says as he looks back to the TV, a satisfied smile now across his lips. "Good episode."

Tom's face contorts in confusion but before he could say anything, Matty's turned facing him. "Where's SJ?"

"Upstairs." Tom nods towards the stairs.

Matty's eyes move to the ceiling when he hears the water start running. Mikey rolls his eyes and resituates. "Have her put more of the ointment on your burns when you're done." Matty gives Tom a cheeky grin before turning back to the TV.

"Right." Tom says with a tiny bit of embarrassment in his voice.

"Go on, scurry, we're watching something." Matty leans forward and grabs his mug, sipping from it before looking back to Tom.

Tom nods, a little confused why Matty is so pushy about him going back upstairs while he catches Mikey glaring at him. It's obvious Matty actually likes Tom and he seems to get along with Harrison, at least now, but Mikey. Mikey doesn't even have to give Tom a look or say anything for Tom to just get the vibe that Mikey doesn't like him. It's not exactly comforting.

Tom climbs the stairs and heads to the closed door beside SJ's room. He knocks softly before hearing SJ say he could come in. When he enters, the room is already warm and goosebumps form on his skin. SJ's silhouette can be seen against the shower curtain, her hands running through her hair before coming to the curtain. She pokes her head out and a delicate smile graces her face.

"You coming? Cause I don't take half hour showers."

"Oh, yeah." Tom furrows his eyebrows as he nods his head.

"Okay." SJ laughs tugging the curtain back in position.

Tom sighs and there's just something weird about it. Not a bad weird, more of a good different. He's never showered with anyone. He's thought about it, of course, but it was never in the context of really showering. And he was never this vulnerable in the situation. For some reason, it's racking his nerves and Tom can't quite put his finger on the reason why. But, he shakes off the nerves and undresses, getting his new clothes out beforehand, and he gets in the shower.

"Finally." SJ chortles, feeling the cold air rush over her while Tom closes the curtain.

"I didn't take that long." Tom defends with a laugh.

"I'm already washing the shampoo out of my hair and then I'm done." SJ retorts, eyes wide and her hands in her hair.

"I'm sorry?" Tom shrugs, a playful smile on his lips.

SJ finishes getting the soap out of her hair and allows Tom inside the water. He winces as the warm water runs down his back. SJ's face contorts in empathy as she watches him try to get used to the stinging.

She knows it's agonizing but it wears off after a few minutes. It always wears off until the soap comes, then it's like someone is setting one's back on fire all over again. Soap might help keep infections at bay but it certainly doesn't feel like it.

"This sucks." Tom mutters as water cascades down his body.

"I know." SJ whispers just above the pattering of the water. "Turn around and we'll get it over with."

Tom runs a hand through his hair, before nodding and turning around to face the wall. His burns are inflamed from the water. The ones SJ had seen originally are bright red with ragged edges, peeling skin showing they're healing. The ones from that night though, they're a horrible, blood red with blotches of different shades. If they were big, they'd actually be stomach-turning to even look at. But, SJ knows it's just the fresh water and they will look better, kind of, in the morning and after she cleans them and puts the ointment on them again.

SJ grabs the bar of soap and runs it between her hands before resting it back on the edge of the tub. She's slow and gentle as she moves a hand over Tom's back, cleaning over the burns. His body shutters and one of his arm reaches out, hand pressed against the tile of the wall to keep him standing. His head hangs and SJ knows he's in a ton of pain. She tries to wash and clean the burns as fast as she can but she keeps her movements delicate to try and keep the stinging to an absolute minimum.

She watches her hand travel along the pale muscles of his back and her heart just aches for him. He deserves better. It doesn't matter what he did to get him here, the point is that he deserves better. He deserves so much better and yet here he is. He is putting all of his trust in her hands. Tom is being vulnerable, something no one ever likes to be with people, especially people who have lied but here he is. To put trust in someone in this state, that's completely insane. But, that's what makes him good. He is so good and he is wonderful and everything amazing. It takes a special kind of person to just do this, to be like Tom and he deserves better.

Tom is biting his bottom so hard the taste of iron starts to fill his mouth. His eyes are squeezed as tight as they can be but tears are still slipping by and joining the water falling over his face. Tom's arm shakes and his heart races in his throat. It's taking everything in him not to scream or let out a wail, collapse onto the shower floor or even just ask SJ to stop. Having to deal with the pain is one of the hardest things he's been through and he hates it so much. His head is spinning and the only thing he can feel is the stinging. Tom can't even feel when SJ takes her hand away after she's done.

"You can turn around now." SJ whispers.

Tom turns around and his eyes are bright red while the back of his hand comes to wipe his nose. "Thanks." He croaks out, still rubbing the tip of his nose.

SJ's shoulder shrugs just once. "You don't have to thank me." Tom nods while SJ hands him her shampoo. "You'll smell like me now." Tom shuffles the bottle in his hands as he manages to stifle a laugh. "I'ma get out and stuff but just meet me in my room, alright?"

"Yeah," Tom meets her eyes as he licks his lip, remnants of blood gone from the water. "Thank you."

SJ rolls her eyes. "You did the same for me. You just don't know it." She gives him a thankful smile before pulling the curtain open just enough to exit the shower.

She could stay in there with him to make sure he's really alright but if it were her, she'd want the rest of her shower to be just her and her thoughts. Tom isn't her but with this, she thinks he might think the same. So, she wraps her hair in a towel and dries off before putting on Blackhawks pajama pants and a plain red t-shirt.

SJ leaves the bathroom, a shiver running down her spine as she hits the cooled air of the house compared to the steamed bathroom. But, SJ doesn't turn towards her bedroom, instead, she heads for the stairs. She's met with the exact same sight Tom was and she just narrows her eyes in suspicion but if the three of them are willing to watch a show together, they have to be getting along so she's not gonna complain. Instead, she walks up from behind Matty.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Matty's eyes widen as SJ whispers in his eyes, mostly just from not expecting her. "You okay?"

"Always." SJ says. "C'mon." She jerks her head towards the kitchen and Matty gets up, Harrison and Mikey looking at them with raised brows but go right back to watching the TV while they leave.

SJ opens the back door and allows the two of them outside. "Okay...something serious?" Matty asks once the door is closed.

"Do you like Tom? I mean, as a human." SJ asks and the question is blunt, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Yeah, why?" Matty asks and his arms wrap around himself to stay warm.

SJ licks her lips and she gives Matty a little bit of awkward smile. "I...like him, a lot and I...I just need to know you like him."

Matty nods and gives SJ a sweet smile. "He's great, SJ." Matty assures. "He makes you happy."

"Yeah..." SJ bites the inside of her cheek and Matty knows there's more to this than just asking if he likes Tom.

"So...?"

"I run." SJ sighs. "I run because other people run so if I run first, they can't run. Do you think he'll run....if....if I tell....him stuff?"

Matty shakes his head without hesitation. "No, I think he'll  _stay_  if you tell him." SJ nods and she's fiddling with her fingers, her bottom lip between her teeth. Matty puts his hands on her shoulders. "He stood up to Arthur for you." Matty says, voice gentle and pleading. "I think he'll stay."

SJ sends him a thankful smile, a small bit of relief coming over her. "Thanks."

"Of course." Matty grins. "Should get back in there."

"Yeah, are you having fun?" SJ chuckles as she opens the door.

"Harrison's great." Matty beams. "So, yes. Have fun with Tom." Matty pats her shoulder while he walks in front of her and heads back to his spot on the couch.

SJ climbs the stairs back to her room and her hands are sweaty and clammy, nerves growing. She doesn't talk about her mom because it brings up horrible memories. It's like it's a trigger. It tends to send her on this type of spiral mentally. She wants to self-destruct but there's a part of her that knows the reason for that is because she doesn't talk about it. SJ closes herself off so much that talking about anything at all can ease the tension in her shoulder and lift that weight of the world from her. It can do something, help her connect and build up more friendships than just those of Matty and Mikey.

She reaches her room and Tom is looking at one of her posters about orcas. He's reading the text about what food they eat and how they're not actually a whale, but a dolphin. The poster itself is an image of a pod of orcas swimming beneath the ocean. It's one of SJ's favorites. There's something about how elegant the animals look just swimming together in their own environment that makes her feel a bit at peace.

"Hey." SJ pulls Tom's attention from the poster.

"They're dolphins?" Tom asks as he points to the poster and SJ shuts the door.

"Yeah." She giggles softly. "Uh, technically, all dolphins are whales but there's kind of a subcategory. Think, wolves and dogs. They're all canines but they're two different species ya know?" SJ rambles and Tom's face lights up leaning on every word she's saying. "But orcas have teeth which puts them in a suborder with other dolphins, the ones you're used to seeing. And, they're shaped more like a dolphin. They're streamlined and smaller the smallest baleen whale. Their heads are rounded but go into a beak but whales actually have more squared heads and don't have beaks." SJ takes a breath and she feels like she should stop but there's just one more thing she can't help but mention. "Also, dolphins are the only marine mammal that actually uses echolocation a lot. Other marine mammals just use to get around, but dolphins use it to communicate, find food, get around, they never shut up, really." A shy smile takes over SJ's face as she looks to her hands, picking at her fingernails.

"That's really cool." Tom beams and he's so genuine. He really could listen to her ramble about marine life for days if she wanted to.

"You think so?" SJ looks up with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, I do." Tom affirms, walking away from the poster and going to her bed.

SJ walks over to her mirror where she has a brush ready to get her hair down. Tom watches her take the towel from her head, shaking it a few times before resting it on the chair by her desk. SJ grabs her brush and starts brushing her hair, turning to face Tom.

"Do you need a brush...a comb?" She asks.

"Nah, 's alright." Tom chuckles. "Don't care much what it looks like right now."

"It looks good, just for the record." SJ smirks but her words are meaningful. The messy fresh out of the shower look looks good on him. Everything looks good on him.

"Thanks, darling." Tom chuckles and SJ makes her way towards him, picking up the laptop from her desk.

"Here." She opens it and pulls up the Netflix screen. "You can turn something on." She says as she goes back to brushing her hair.

"What do you wanna watch?" Tom asks, pulling the laptop towards himself.

"Whatever, really." SJ shrugs.

"How's the Iron Giant?" Tom asks and SJ can't help but laugh.

"I love that movie, go for it." She says as she walks back to her dresser and rests her brush on top of it. "But, ya know, I'm gonna have to put that ointment on your burns." SJ mutters, feeling a little uneasy about bringing it up.

"Right." Tom says with a soft groan while the movie starts playing. He reaches to the side of the bed where he put his bag and digs out the ointment.

"Lay on your stomach." SJ joins him on the bed and he hands her the tube.

Tom does as told and once he's settled, SJ puts the laptop in front of him so they can both see the screen. She straddles his lower back and Tom relaxes under her. It's not that he didn't trust Matty to put the ointment on originally, it was just that he doesn't know Matty really and it all just happened. But, Tom knows SJ is going to go slow if she has to and she knows how to make sure she won't cause him too much pain. She proved that when she washed the burns in the shower. So, he relaxes.

"So," SJ starts as she unscrews the cap. "Why, uh, why don't you talk to your family?" SJ asks and Tom barely even hears her.

There's something different about tonight. It's everything. It's everything between the night before and then tonight. SJ saved his ass and he saved hers the night before. She is helping him and there's something that just feels so much different. It's like that night in his room but deeper. There's something better going on here and it might get dark and twisty and scary, but it goes deeper than that night and Tom isn't going to let that go. So, he talks.

"They didn't like that I was boxing for money. I'd lost my job and was mostly focused on that. Got a bit addicted to it. Started gambling with bigger money, knew that if I lost it, I'd just go fight a few matches and come back with enough to pay off the debt. Came home hurt once, bad. Could hardly walk, Haz helped me back and that was it for them. Mum told me I'd have to stop or that was it." Tom's voice is distant and sad as if he's almost dissociating to explain.

"You gave up your family for boxing?" SJ asks and she keeps the judgment out of her voice.

"Wasn't the boxing really. They didn't want to accept that it was what I liked to do. If I could change it, I would. Don't like how it is now, don't like doing it this way. Don't like ultimatums either." Tom explains and the guilt seeps into every word.

"Did you try apologizing to them?" SJ starts on one of the burns and Tom hisses in response.

"Wrote 'em a letter." Tom groans out.

"You could call them." SJ tries.

She just doesn't think a letter is the right way to do things but she doesn't know his family. Tom, though, he doesn't answer. Not for a few minutes because he doesn't know how to respond to that. Calling and apologizing is the logical, meaningful, and rational thing to do but he didn't. He wrote that letter explaining that his choice was wrong and he was truly sorry for everything. He never meant to hurt his family.

He never got a letter back.

"Scared." Tom mumbles.

"They're your family though. If they're willing to hear you out, isn't it worth it?" SJ offers the reasonable thought.

Tom knows she's right. He's picked up the phone a thousand times to call but he can neverbring himself to do it. He can't click the call button but he misses his family and at least if he does call them, he made the effort to try and make amends. He can die knowing he tried.

"Okay, I'll call 'em if you do the same with yours. Said your parents aren't around?" Tom offers as he looks over his shoulder to SJ. If he's agreeing, he wants her to make the same movement. But, not for him, for her. He doesn't want her to feel as bad as he does for not contacting his parents.

SJ sucks in a breath and moves onto the next burn, Tom hisses once more. "Okay, I will tell you why I can't talk to my mom and why I don't want to but I'm not ready to tell you about my dad. I don't want to talk about my father, that okay?" SJ asks and her voice is genuinely asking him because she wants to talk.

"Okay." Tom agrees, him facing the laptop screen but his undivided attention is with her.

"Mom went on a bender when I was twelve and never came home." SJ just blurts the sentence out, a sentence she's never actually said out loud before.

When her mom had ditched her family, it was just known. SJ told Mikey and Matty that she left. She was high out of her mind and drunk and then she left, she'd be back because she's never not come home. Not until then. So, this was the first time SJ has actually said it out loud. Had Tom known that was the reason SJ doesn't talk to her mom, he never would have said she should call.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean. I didn't-"

"No, it's fine. You didn't know. She had a drug and alcohol problem."

SJ is rubbing the ointment into a third burn but Tom's eyes aren't closed from the sting of the burn. Instead, they're closed because he feels terrible for SJ. A parent with a drug and alcohol problem who then just leaves, that's...horrible.

"That why you don't drink?" Tom chooses to ask.

"Yeah, ya know? I don't wanna end up like her." There's a waver in SJ's voice as her fingers run over the raw skin of Tom's back. "Well, she ya know? Chose drugs and stuff and just...never came home. And she was still with my dad but they weren't, my dad wasn't, like "oh stay together for the kids!!" SJ's voice mocks the stereotypical phrase before it drops back down. "It was a lot and Travis had a lot going on and she just came and went all the time, high out of her mind. My dad tried to kick her out but she always came back and when he'd change the locks, she'd camp out on the porch so it was kind of pointless, ya know?"

SJ pauses for a few seconds and Tom lets her. He doesn't know what to say or if there's anything he can say. In fact, he feels even worse for not contacting his family. Sure, he's got issues with his but not like this. His reasons are so petty and pointless compared to SJ's. She's all but literally saying she had to grow up without a mom despite her mom still being around. Tom took his parents for granted but he still can't imagine what that would be like, with either of his parents. It's just not fair for a kid. It's not fair for anymore.

SJ moves onto one of the fresh burns and Tom buries his face into her comforter, groaning in pain. SJ winces at his reaction but keeps going. The more she talks, the more Tom seems to be paying attention to her rather than the pain he's in.

"So, it's been ten years, the day you guys picked me up, yeah, ten years. And I've never gotten a birthday card or a phone call or a letter, nothing. She just...left."

Tom clears his throat and he just has to ask, "What do you think happened? If that's okay to ask?"

"I dunno. Part of me hopes she's out still getting high and drunk and just, being her deadbeat self because at least that means she left for the drugs because if she's out living a better life in like Montana, that means everything she said was true and she left because of me. So, there's a part of me that hopes that's true because at least she's not dead somewhere and she's living but more of me hopes she's still a drug addict and alcoholic who's also a pathological liar." SJ's voice goes completely cold with the last few words and Tom feel her disdain. And her hurt. But there's more because she should never feel like she's the reason people left. If her mom is out getting high and wasted off her ass, that has nothing to do with a child.

"Why do you think she left because of you?" Tom asks boldly while SJ moves to another burn. Tom is looking over his shoulder and his jaw is squared, telling SJ exactly what that question means.

"She told me. She told me I was a failed abortion and I was the worst thing that's ever happened to her. She said she should have just dumped me in the dumpster outside of the hospital or left me at a fire station."

Tom's jaw falls a little slack and he just looks at her in a state of shock. SJ dodges his eyes while she just rubs the ointment into the red burn. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are starting to gloss over. Tom's entire chest is just constricting for her. It is so un-fucking-fair. Life isn't fair but this isn't about life. This is about a parent, someone who's supposed to love their children unconditionally, mistreating their child. That's not okay and no one, no child, no person deserves that.

"My dad kicked her out for the first time that night. December 13th, was about twenty degrees outside and it was snowing. She was in shorts and a tank top. My dad was never cruel when he kicked her out but he was that time because he heard what she said. He told her to go to a shelter if she wanted to stay warm and his name is on the deed so she couldn't go to the cops." SJ explains further and it surprises Tom a bit but by the low volume of her voice and pain etched in every word, he's guessing if she stops talking, she'll break. SJ sighs as she finishes the last burn. "Yeah, so I dunno. She could be dead in a ditch somewhere, a crematorium, a morgue, a mansion with her new family, I don't know and I like not knowing."

A few beats pass and SJ questions if she made the right choice in telling Tom. He's never this quiet but he just is. His eyes are on the screen and SJ's thumbs are rubbing the muscles of his back now and she's so close to breaking down because she trusts him. She trusts him and he's not saying anything and she doesn't know why or even how to ask. But, Tom catches her off guard.

He looks over his shoulder and starts rotating, hinting for SJ to move off of him. Her heart sinks further into her stomach as he rolls over and sits up, facing her. Tom stares at her for a few seconds and there are a million things he wants to tell her. He wants to tell her that she should try to find her mom and then tell her the fuck off because her mom is a shitty person. SJ doesn't need her. Another part of him though, that part wants to pull her into a hug and promise that she's nothing like her mom. He doesn't have to know her mom to know that. SJ takes care of people she doesn't even know. She deserves to be happy.

SJ licks her lips and she's about to say something but Tom doesn't let her. He extends his arms and pulls her into his chest, his arms completely engulfing her and she relaxes into him. His legs are crossed and she moves to straddle his lap, the hug being more comfortable and she feels happy and safe in his arms. She doesn't feel like speaking was a mistake. It hurts, yes, it's always going to hurt talking about her mom but Tom, he's good at comforting.

Tom pulls away and his hands go to cup her cheeks. His voice is shallow as he whispers, heart thundering in his chest and aching with the sight of her red-rimmed eyes. " _You deserve better_."


	15. coyotes

The sound of dishes clanking from downstairs stirs Tom awake. The space against his chest is cold and empty, the opposite it was when he'd fallen asleep. His arm had been wrapped snuggly around SJ, holding her as close to him as possible. Now, his arm is pulled against himself, holding the blanket close to his chest to keep warm against the cooled bedroom. He peaks an eye open, the room dim with the closed blinds. To an unfortunate but not surprising sight, SJ is gone.

Tom sighs and he thought that maybe he'd wake up to her this time. It's her house and they really talked last night. It wasn't just bullshit and beating around the bush, they  _talked_. But, to his dismay, she's gone and he's waking up in a cold bed again. It's only the second time but there  _is something_ , like a gravitational pull, that makes him feel like she's left him a hundred times over.  SJ has a fucking crest burned into her own arm. She was branded and she went on. She picked herself up and kept moving. So, Tom's always wakes up alone but she makes me him never want to wake up alone ever again. So, his heart is aching in his chest but he gets up.

The burns on his back sting as he stretches but he ignores it the best he can. It's a part of him and after talking with SJ last night, he's not going to let the burns hold him back or stop him or even dare to make him quiet. He's just going to pretend like they're not even there and like they're not bothering him as he tosses his shirt over his head.

Tom hits the bathroom before grabbing his bag and heading down the stairs that lead into the kitchen. They creak beneath his feet but he doesn't pay the wood much attention. Laughter is heard as Tom gets closer to the kitchen. He knows one is Harrison but the other he can't quite identify fully. If he had to guess, it'd be Matty and that brings his chest full of hope. Matty makes him feel welcomed and if Tom were being honest, he doesn't really want to ask about SJ if Mikey is around. There's something about the way Mikey looks at him that rubs him the wrong way and makes him uncomfortable.

To Tom's delight, when he reaches the end of the stairs, Harrison and Matty are standing at the sink doing the dishes, Matty washing and Harrison drying. It's a sight that warms Tom's heart. Ever since moving to the states, Harrison and Tom haven't spent much time in trying to gain friendships. They've always been well off with the two of them but seeing Harrison getting along so well with Matty last night and this morning, it's nice and Tom couldn't be happier.

"Hey." Tom greets, voice still a little groggy with sleep.

Harrison and Matty both look over their shoulder to see Tom. "Hey." Harrison nods.

"Morning." Matty chimes before attending to the dishes once more.

Tom walks from the staircase to the side of the table. "Uh, where's SJ?" Tom asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

"If she wanted you to know, she wouldn't have left." Mikey says as he appears from the living room, leaning against the open door frame.

Tom turns to him and his heart sinks but annoyance fills his blood. Tom has done nothing to Mikey and Mikey is throwing him this type of attitude. Mikey very clearly dislikes Tom and Tom doesn't know why. It was Tom and Mikey who pulled Arthur away from SJ and it was Tom threatening Arthur afterward. Tom and Harrison picked up SJ when she needed someone, on the anniversary of her mother bailing, not Mikey. There's something SJ trusts in Tom and Harrison in a different way than her two best friends and Tom doesn't know why but Tom also doesn't grasp why that is such a huge problem with Mikey.

Tom goes to open his mouth to question what Mikey's problem is but Matty is first to say something. "Mikey, shut the hell up."

"She left about an hour ago." Harrison turns around, arms crossing as he leans against the counter. His eyes glance between Mikey and Tom. Harrison and Mikey got along just fine last night while Tom and SJ were on their own but Harrison isn't going to put up with another person going after Tom.

The room is silent, the three guys looking between themselves. Mikey's annoyed and he's not going to budge on where SJ is despite her not saying a word on if she wanted Mike to not say anything. Harrison doesn't have anything else to say seeing as he doesn't want any more issues and he doesn't know  _where_  she is. And Tom doesn't want to start an argument with someone that means a lot to SJ. So, it's Matty's turn to turn around and dry off his hands.

"Give me your phone. I'll give you the address." Matty sticks out his hand and Mikey just glares at him while Tom walks over. "You'll find her on the south side of the building." Matty explains while he types the address into the GPS.

"Is she gonna be pissed you told me?" Tom asks, his tone collected and kind with Matty.

"Nah," Matty shakes his head. "She just said she was going and she left, didn't say a word about not telling you and I don't think she'll care." Matty hands Tom his phone back. Matty leans in closer to Tom and whispers. "I think she wants you to know."

It's a bit weird for Matty to say that but it's comforting in a weird way. SJ doesn't tell people things, clearly but she also doesn't show people very much yet Matty is sharing wherever she is and whatever she's doing with Tom, based solely on the assumption she wants Tom to know. If anyone would know that, it would be Matty. Matty seems to be the one SJ confides in and Mikey is the one she looks to for defense. They're equally important and she adores them the same, Mikey is just harder to know and understand, just like SJ.  

"Thanks." Tom says, a genuine and thankful smile coming to his face. "You staying here?" Tom turns his attention back to Harrison.

"Yeah," Harrison nods. "Text you if I head home before you get back."

"Right, yeah." Tom nods, a grin starting to take over. "Let you know if I head back."

Harrison nods in response and Tom thanks Matty again before making his way towards the back door in the kitchen. Mikey has the living room blocked with him still standing and Tom isn't gonna fight him to get to a door.

Once outside, Tom digs through his bag and tugs a hoodie over his head before checking the GPS. The address leads him to a building about twenty minutes away from SJ's home on foot. Despite the breeze, the hoodie does its job at keeping him warm as he starts walking. The sun shines bright above him, beating down and keeping him perfectly comfortable.

During the walk, Tom finds himself with his earbuds in and the band SJ had mentioned the night she had stayed with him. It's not really his type of music but he likes this band and maybe that's because SJ likes them so it's different or maybe it's the vocalists and the way they sing that makes him get it. Maybe it's the lyrics that help him understand what goes on inside of SJ's head. It doens't matter really because he likes them and it's because of SJ.

By the time the eighth song had started to play, Tom was standing in front of the large tan building. The doors are clear and it reads "Arctic Ice Arena." Tom furrows his brows as he starts to wonder why he's at an ice arena and more so why SJ would be at an ice arena. Why would she be on the south side of the building? But, he doesn't waste much time in thinking as he makes his way to the back of the building and that's when he sees her.

Tom's eyes widen but a smile of disbelief comes to his face. SJ is facing a wall, a white construction mask covering her mouth and a silver spray paint can is in hand. Her eyes are trained on the wall as she works, her concentration is in every movement of her arm. Tom looks up and sees the entire art piece. It's a red animated coyote, mouth open and baring its teeth. The words "South Side Coyotes" are scribbled in large lettering where the neck of the head ends. It's huge and probably illegal, but Tom would be damned if he didn't think it wasn't cool. And, he had no idea she could do anything like this.

"Hey!" Tom calls, walking a little closer.

SJ jerks back from the wall as she looks over, fear across her face until her vision settles on Tom. "Hey." She calls, getting to her feet.

Tom sticks out a finger, pointing to the wall. "What're you doin'?"

SJ pulls the mask down and starts walking away from the wall. "Spray painting." There's smirk across her lips with the words.

"Yeah," Tom chuckles. "See that." He walks up to her and the two face the wall from a distance to get a look at what it looks like head on. "Isn't this illegal?"

"It is if you're not getting paid by the owner." SJ's smirk widens into a smile and her eyes stay on the wall while Tom looks to her in amazement.

"You're...getting paid? To do this?" Surprise is laced in his words.

SJ glances to him and her sinks a little, thinking he doens't like what she's done, that maybe he thinks she isn't good enough to be paid. "Yeah, I know the owner." SJ says quietly.

"It's really cool." Tom says and his eyes are wide, astonishment coming over his face as SJ glances back to him and she's relieved. "How do you know the owner?"

"I used to play hockey here when I was younger." SJ explains and her stare goes back to the wall.

"Really?"

"Yeah," SJ sighs, wiping her forehead with her forearm. "Played for a long time, really. I met Mikey here even. Travis played here, my dad played. It's....it was a thing, ya know? But, uh, stuff with Travis happened and I had to quit so Coach let me paint the mural to make extra money to help. I come and redo it a few times a year. I guess I could have chosen actual paint, like for buildings, but I like to spray paint."

It's interesting hearing SJ talk about her childhood. It's the complete opposite of Tom's. And it's just downright sad. She had to give up something she seems to have liked to help her family. She met her best friend here. SJ was clearly close with the owner, or still is, and she had to give it up. Or maybe she just chose to, moral obligation and not anyone really making her do it. Nonetheless, it's just sad.  

"Did you like it?" Tom asks, a piece of him just wanting to know the look of joy isn't just front her artwork, it really is because she liked playing hockey.

SJ furrows her brows at the question. "Like playing hockey?" No one ever asked if she ever liked playing.

No one ever asked if she ever liked playing. She was good, amazing even, so why would anyone ever bother to ask if she were enjoying it? Leave it to Tom to be the one to ask the question that actually means a lot more to SJ than she'll ever admit.  

"Yeah, had it not been for Travis, would you still be playing?"

SJ scoffs. "I loved it." SJ says and Tom's chest constricts with the way SJ hangs her head. "It was like...everything, ya know? Lived, breathed, slept, hockey. Day and night. If it weren't for hockey, I would have been in so much trouble but if I ever got pissed off or something, I came here and I made sure those pucks went into that net. My slapshots were great because of it. So, yeah, I really, really liked it but I wouldn't still be playing. It wasn't, a dream, ya know? It was Travis's and he was good enough to be one of the greats. He could have the hockey spotlight, I'll take something else."

Tom licks his lips as he questions what the something else could be. "With boxing?" He figures that's what she's referring to. She's good at it and she seems to enjoy it once she's in the ring. She always stays after so maybe that's what she means. It's a logical thought.

"No." SJ scoffs. "Not boxing." SJ's brows furrow and her eyes go distant before she shakes her head. "You can draw." SJ drops the conversation and Tom doesn't protest figuring there's more to whatever the something else and SJ's not ready to talk about it yet.

"So can you apparently." Tom points back to the wall.

SJ give him a mischievous smile. "Yeah, wanna help?"

"I've never done this before. Don't wanna mess up your work." Tom rambles.

SJ rolls her eyes as she walks to her bag and pulls out a can. "You're not gonna mess anything up. You can't mess up art." Sj challenges. "C'mon." She tosses the can to him and pulls out a mask from her bag.

Tom twirls the can in his hand and a grin comes to his face. "Yeah, alright." He agrees and walks over to her, taking the mask from her and putting it over his face.

"Just follow my old lines, you have the white so focus on the letters." SJ explains as she walks towards the wall, pulling her mask over her mouth.

Tom watches her get back to work for a few seconds and everything she does just makes him fall harder. This is her. The person he's talking to now, this is SJ. She likes to spray paint a building and she likes marine biology. Her brother and her friends are her family. Her heart is bigger than she lets it show. SJ is beautiful in every aspect of the word and in this moment with the sun shining against the blue streaks in SJ's hair that's barely tied in a messy bun and her kneeling with spray paint covered jeans and no makeup that Tom realizes, maybe he doesn't just like her. Maybe it's more, so much more.

* * *

The burger joint Tom picked is rowdy with the lunch hour but SJ and Tom aren't paying any of the other customers any bit of attention. SJ is plucking fries from Tom's plate and he's playfully swatting her hand away, the two of them laughing together with spray paint stayed fingers and clothes. A warmth of happiness fills the both of them and in this burger joint, it feels like nothing bad has ever happened to either of them. It feels like they've known each other for years rather than weeks and they never hit a single bump. It's always just been them. And for that, they're both thankful.

"So," SJ pushes her plate aside and leans forward. "How'd you know where I was?"

Tom chuckles as he leans back in the booth. "Matty gave me the address."

"Of course he did." She laughs. She was hoping Matty would tell Tom. "What'd he say?"

"That you'd be there." Tom shrugs, his chuckle not subsiding. "Harrison was the one that told me you'd left though."

"Oh, yeah." SJ nods. "Talked to him for a bit before I left, Matty and him were awake when I came down."

Tom quirks a brow. "What'd you talk about?" There's a look on Tom's face and SJ can't help but play into it.

"Why?" She tilts her head innocently before scrunching her nose. "Jealous?"

"Should I be?" Tom quips and he gains a smirk with SJ's jaw drop. Before, yeah he would have been jealous but after last night and everything else, Tom knows he doesn't have anything to be jealous about.

"Nah," SJ says, choosing not to play the game this time, to give him something. "You shouldn't be."

A blush creeps onto Tom's face and he was joking with her. He's not jealous, just curious but he's happy to know that there's no reason to be. He's happy that the girl he likes and is sleeping with gets along with his best friend and her best friend gets along with his. It's a weight lifted, truly.

"We didn't really talk about anything important. He talked more than I did." SJ explains. "Him and Matty stayed up watching Stranger Things and then they'd switched to a Mission Impossible movie. Harrison is a talkative person in the morning." SJ giggles.

Tom nods. "Yeah, you're tellin' me." There's a gentle smile that comes to Tom's face. "Him and Matty really getting along?"

"Seems like it. It's nice. Matty needs someone who's not fucked up." SJ states and it's an off-handed remark about herself, not Matty or Harrison. It's one that would usually slip by people but it doesn't slip by Tom.

"You're not fucked up." Tom says.

"Yeah?" SJ chortles. "C'mon, after what I told you, what I've done. I'm fucked up."

Tom shakes his head and he leans forward, his forearm brushing against hers. "Fucked up people don't know think they're fucked up. Shit you've been through doesn't make you fucked up." There's no smile etched across his face this time and his eyes are locked on hers, a seriousness in his tone and he means every word. No one's told her that before. In fact, everyone tells her she' fucked up.

That's the thing, really. Tom, he chooses to see the good in people. Sure, he can see bad in people and if people fuck him over, he can ditch them and it's whatever but, he tries to see good in people because he's someone who's fucked up a lot. He knows what it's like to be left out to dry, even if he deserved it. He gets it and he doesn't want people to feel that way, especially someone like SJ who just seems to do everything for the people she cares about. Everything she does is because she needs to protect those she loves. That doens't make her fucked up. Tom knows that and he'll scream it from the rooftops if he has to for SJ to know it's the truth.

"Thank you." SJ says and she bites the inside of her cheek.

"It's the truth, darlin'." Tom reassures and there's something with the pet name that brings the faintest smile to her face this time. "Hey," Tom whispers. "Why don't we get out of here? Grab Haz and go back to my place?"

"Are you asking me to stay or just come for the rest of the day?" SJ inquires and there's little confidence in her voice with the question. She wants him to ask her to stay but it is so fucking terrifying.

Normally, Tom wouldn't risk the idea of asking her to stay but it feels like a day that he wants to tempt fate. "Stay." SJ's eyes light up with a tiny bit of surprise but she's glad that's what he meant. She's not too fond of sleeping alone when she can sleep next to him. "But, only if you promise I get to wake up next to you this time." Tom knows she's scared, it's written across her face but she doesn't have anything to be afraid of when it comes to him. He wants to show her that.

SJ sighs and her heart clenches. "I-I don't...do that."

"Do it with me." Tom says. "What're you afraid of?"

SJ's eyes scan him and there's something about that damn question that makes her want to explode. She wants to explode and not because it's a button he pressed but because what isn't there to be afraid of? She is terrified of everything because everything she's ever loved or cared about just gets ripped away from her. If she wakes up first, if she gets to leave first, Tom won't get ripped away from her. There is nothing worse than giving someone their heart and waking up to a cold bed. But, that's exactly what SJ has been doing to Tom this entire time. He gives her this piece of him and she leaves him to a cold bed in the morning. Maybe it's time SJ tempt fate a little, too.

SJ sucks in a breath, pressing her forehead against Tom's and whispers."Okay. I wanna stay with you."


	16. ocean meets the stars

The living room of Tom's apartment is quiet besides the few city sounds outside. The blinds across the floor to ceiling windows are pulled up and the couch is turned around allowing SJ and Tom to have their view of the city. Neon lights illuminate the living room with a faint light coming from the kitchen. SJ has her legs across Tom's lap and her head turned towards the window while Tom's facing forward, his hands on her shins, thumbs rubbing against the fabric of her jeans softly.

It's been hours that they've been sitting here. They talk here and there but it's mostly silence, the two of them enjoying the silence. There's a different kind of comfort with someone when no conversation or sound needs to be had in order to be happy together. SJ and Tom have managed to reach that. They're peaceful and happy to just be sitting there, looking at the city at three in the morning, quiet but together.

Tom turns his head as he lightly squeezes SJ's shin. "Think Mikey is gonna be with Haz and Matty?"

SJ laughs softly with the shake of her head. "He has to watch his sister so probably not." SJ explains, still finding it amazing that Harrison decided to hang out with Matty for another night.

"He's a sister?" Tom asks, quirking a brow and blatant surprise covers his face.

"Yes." SJ comments. "He doesn't really talk about her."

Tom shakes his head with a huff, a smirking tugging at the side of his mouth. "No wonder the two of you are friends."

"Hey!" SJ flicks his shoulder. "I didn't  _hide_  Travis."

"I'm kidding." Tom chuckles.

"Why'd you ask though?"

Tom sucks in a breath and tries to play it off. "Just, curious."

SJ narrows her eyes. "You're full of shit. Why?"

"He's just....kind of hostile."

SJ burst into a fit of laughter. "Harrison will be fine, I promise. It's you he doesn't like."

It's not that Tom didn't know Mikey didn't like him but actually having it confirmed just makes his heart sink. SJ is clearly capable of making her own decisions and she seems to listen to absolutely no one so it's not that Tom thinks that if Mikey were to tell her to stop seeing him, she would, it's that he wants SJ's friends to like him. Tom hasn't done anything to Mikey or to SJ for that matter. So, he's worried that if Mikey doesn't like him, maybe it'll rub off on SJ and maybe she'll find a reason to stop talking to him. It's a bit of an odd worry, really. If SJ were going to just fall into whatever Mikey's issue is, she wouldn't open up like she has. And she definitely wouldn't be sitting on the couch with him at three in the morning.

"Why doesn't he like me?" Tom asks, his head slightly hung as he looks at her through his lashes.

"Eh, he's kind of in love with and doens't trust you." SJ shrugs as if her words meant nothing and her stare goes back to the city lights.

Tom's eyes widen and he didn't really expect that. He expected something like Mikey not trusting him. That's fair. SJ didn't trust him either and she still doesn't trust him as much as she probably should but Mikey being in love with her, that's not what he wanted to hear or expected. Tom doesn't want to get in the middle of that, not when it's her best friend. Friendships come before anything else.

SJ looks back to Tom, sensing him just staring at her. "It's not like that." SJ rolls her eyes, her voice still nonchalant. "He's not that kind of in love with me, like, he'd never do anything about it. We've literally talked it about it. It's," SJ pauses and her shoulders shrug. "It's hard to explain but it's really not like that. Him not trusting you is the main thing."

Tom nods slowly, not really grasping what SJ is saying but she's calm and it doesn't seem to bother her, not even a little bit so he goes with it. "Okay, so why doens't he trust me but you do?"

SJ's attention goes back to Tom and she dodges his stare, one of her hands going ot his and tracing her fingers over the back of his hand. "You're working with Arthur, that's why he doens't trust you." SJ says and she glances to him, taking in a shallow breath. "I trust you because you showed up when you didn't have to."

After hearing about her mom, Tom gets it. He understands why that's such a huge thing for her but it's still a bit surreal hearing it because it was second nature. Harrison told him SJ needed a ride and didn't sound good and Tom didn't waste time to tag along. He barely knew her and he was there because that's just who he is. He already cared for her then and he wasn't going to let her sit out in the rain possibly hurt. Tom going to her, that's easy. Him being there for her when she needs someone even if not to talk about whatever is going on, that's easy. Tom just didn't realize what that meant to her.

Tom looks to the windows, choosing not to say anything and let the room fall silent. He doens't need to say anything because it's in the way SJ says she trusts him. He doesn't need to know anything else about it and SJ knows that. She can tell by the way his jaw is relaxed and his fingers are running up and down her shin.

"Uh, hey, so," SJ starts. "How did you get involved with Arthur, exactly? I mean, how'd you get...here?"

Tom looks to her and raises the same question. "How'd you?"

Arthur isn't exactly someone he wants to talk about. How he got involved isn't what he wants to talk about it. It's been nice just spending the day talking about how SJ was the kid in school that doodled in the back of the class but still managed a 4.2. He likes the conversations where he got to tell her about his favorite movies and favorite tv shows. They're light-hearted and it's what he needs right now. The heavy is a lot and he just wants this night to be happy but, if SJ will tell him, he'll tell her because he can't close her out if he wants her to keep opening up.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know." SJ sighs. Tom's face contorts to concern, his mind going back to the burn of the crest on her arm, wondering if it's everything he's been through and threatened with. SJ feels his stare and shakes her head, gathering his concern. "It's not like....that kind of bad. Just, bad for me, I guess."

Tom nods softly. "Will you tell me one day?"

SJ's face softens and brows just barely knit together. "Yeah, one day." And she will but she doens't wanna talk about it right now. There are too many stones that would need to be overturned in order for him to even understand and, she knows he'll freak out.

"I, uh, I told you it was gambling but, uh, Arthur was one of the people who were playing the night I lost big." Tom explains. "I didn't have the money, fuckin' stupid of me but thought I couldn't lose, was on a winning streak." Tom looks back to the city, finding it easier to talk to the lights rather than SJ's face, fearing he'd disappoint her with his lack of responsibility and self-control with his money. "Haz and me were already working for him at the time, so when I'd lost, he pulled me aside and asked where I'd gotten the money to pay for the loss. I told him I didn't have it so...uh, yeah he said he'd give me the money for the debt and I could work with him to pay it off to him, said it'd be safer." Tom scoffs at the last part.

"He tricked you." SJ says, voice gentle and sympathetic as she goes back to running her fingers over the tops of his hand.

"Yeah," He says curtly. "So, uh, he starts telling me about this competition, all I've to do is win and I'd be good but, um," Tom shakes his head, a loose curl falling onto his forehead. "He threatened Haz and threatened me, never directly to Haz but he said he could make sure we were never found again and if we were, they'd need our dental records to ID us."

"Did...did he tell you what he meant? Specifically, or is he letting your mind fill in the blanks?" SJ asks and yes, she does want to know for the sake of Tom's sanity but if Arthur really told him, it could be good for her and him.

Tom looks to her and his eyes are glossed over, fear striking his face. "Yeah, he told me."

"You don't wanna talk about it, do you?" SJ asks carefully and all Tom does is shake his head giving SJ everything she needs to know. "Okay." She says softly.

"If only I'd have counted cards." Sarcasm drips from Tom's lips as he looks back to the windows.

"Why didn't you?"

Tom turns his head slowly, eyes narrowing. "It's against the rules."

"Oh, because underground boxing and gambling are perfectly legal." SJ quips and a smirk pulls at her lips.

"'S not that easy!" Tom chuckles, SJ's comments lightening his mood just enough.

"I can do it." SJ shrugs a single shoulder, a confident grin taking over.

"What the bloody hell can't you do?" Tom's eyes widen and SJ just laughs.

"Design furniture and build it."

Tom laughs with her and lightly shoves her shoulder. "I know more than just furniture!"

"Yeah?" SJ challenges. "Tell me then." She bites her lip and looks at him with wide eyes, hopeful and adoring.

"Alright," Tom taps her legs for her to move them so he can resituate and face her better. SJ props her legs back onto his lap once he's comfortable, her head falling onto the back of the couch, giving him her undivided attention. "I like space, stars, planets, galaxies. All of it."

"Really?" SJ asks with a raised brow. He just never seemed like the space kind of person, especially after her comment about knowing about space than the ocean.

Tom nods. "Yeah, it's cool. It's so big, we can't even really fathom it. We're just this speck floating out there surrounded by things we know nothing about." SJ smiles, and she wants to hear him talk about space all night. "Kind of like you with the ocean. So much we don't know, makes it interesting."

Tom starts rambling about supernovas and comets and SJ just listens. She doesn't say anything or ask any questions. She just listens to him talk because it's not serious. It's something he's passionate about just like she is with the ocean. And the thing with them, they represent the things they're passionate about. Tom likes to design furniture and build it because it distracts him. He can use his hands and furniture makes life a little more comfortable. It's not something too complex but it's not boring either. It's that perfect medium just like Tom. And SJ is her graffiti because it's usually illegal. It's done in secret and usually at night, going against the grain to be something different. That's SJ. And with space, there's so much people know about space because it's been researched so much over the years. It's still scary, given that there's still a lot that's unknown but not as scary as the ocean. The ocean, there are so many secrets that lie beneath the waves. Secrets the ocean isn't willing to just give up. They have to be hunted and it can be dangerous. It's dark and scary, hard to reach. Just like SJ, a force, a hurricane and Tom is space, giving answers when needed, free and open.

"Is that what you wanna do?" SJ asks, after Tom's rambling has slowed down. "Study space? Or do you wanna design furniture? Keep boxing?"

Tom shrugs, his fingers lightly tapping her knees. "I wanna design furniture I think, but I'd like to keep boxing, just not like this. Keep space a hobby." Tom explains.

"I think you should do it." SJ gives him a gentle smile.

Tom's cheeks turn a beautiful shade of red. "How 'bout you? Wanna keep boxing? Coach a hockey team? Spray paint murals over cities? Be a marine biologist?"

SJ laughs softly. "Marine biology." The words fall from her mouth like honey, sweet and smooth. "But, yeah, maybe coach a hockey team one day, one for kids who can't afford it though or something. Troubled youth, kinda deal. I will always spray paint buildings but," SJ sighs. "If I could give up boxing today, I would. I fucking hate it." It's the first time SJ has ever said those words out loud. She's hated it since she took it up but her debt keeps her in the ring.

The last bit catches Tom by surprise. "What? Really? You're so good at it. Why...why don't you like it?"

"I like to watch, like I could watch you box all day." SJ admits and Tom's heart jumps to his throat but he lets her keep talking. "But, I hate doing it. I just, I don't' like fighting. I've been fighting something or someone my entire fucking life and I just...I don't wanna do it."

"What made you start, then?"

SJ bites her lip and her eyes go distant, the same look she gets when she starts to close off. Tom expects her to. He knows before she does because it's the same look she always gets. But, this time is different. It's different because this is the first time they're alone together in a house. In a home. It's just them and the lights of Chicago. There's no one to interrupt them and there's no one there to judge. It's different this time so, SJ doesn't close off.

"I was attacked on my way home from school one day." Tom's heart drops to his stomach and he wonders what else could have possibly happened in her life. "It was....it was bad." SJ manages to say as she swallows a lump. "This cop found me and he got me to the ER and they did tests and stuff and it was just, everything was so fucking bad and it hurt and I didn't want to be there again." SJ's voice raises and Tom can feel the anger coming from her. "I promised myself while I sat in that hospital bed that no one would ever touch me again so I asked Mikey to help me. He'd taken up boxing after he had to quit hockey, boxing fit more into his schedule. So, he taught me and now I can't give it up because I don't have the money."

There's this tiny part of Tom that wants to ask how she was attacked but the look in her eyes tells him everything. Now, he just wants to know who the hell did it because he wants to hunt the guy down. It's clearly been years but whoever did it, deserves their teeth knocked in and Tom would be happy to do it.

"I really wanna be a marine biologist." SJ sighs, her way of telling Tom not to ask the questions she can see running through his head. SJ's eyes move to Tom's hands but his stare stays on her face.

Tom doens't push either. He doens't need to because this is her. Everyone puts up a front when they first meet people. First impressions are always said to be the most important but SJ puts up a front for as long as she wants and feels like she needs to to keep herself safe. But Tom wishes she wouldn't because the person in front of him telling him about how she hates boxing and just wants to study the damn ocean, he is in love with this person. He loves this version of her. She is authentic and raw and everything. SJ should be able to be herself.

"Why are you looking at me like?" SJ looks back to Tom, pulling him from his thoughts.

Tom is silent. He lets the air fill with the sounds of a distant siren and passing cars. His brows are knitted together and his stare is hard. His eyes move from hers, to her necklace that's catching the light of the street lamps. Tom can't help but bite the inside of his cheek and lick his lips when he finally looks back to her.

"I hope you find a way to be yourself someday." His voice is just above a whisper but it's etched in pure sincerity. It's sincerity mixed with a feeling of sadness and empathy.

"What?" SJ asks, her tone matching his but a little more broken.

Tom lets out a breath and looks in front of him. "You're not happy," He lifts his hand and gestures out. "...I just want you to be happy, be happy being you. This," Tom taps her collarbone lightly. "This is you, the person telling me this shit right now. This is you and you seem happy here because you're you." SJ's eyes are on his and a lump forms in her chest as her heart aches with his words. "You should be able to be yourself shamelessly, SJ. Be happy."

SJ just stares at him because what is she supposed to say to that? Her friends know her but she talks to a lot of people and no one bothers to get to know her, not like Tom has. And now he likes her, the rawest and scariest and purest versions of her. And for the life of her, she doesn't know what she ever did to deserve someone like Tom.

"You deserve to be happy, too." SJ whispers, her eyes not leaving Tom's and all he can do is give her this sad smile because she means it.

Tom's eyes start glancing between her lips and this is different.

The first time they kissed, it was so heated and full lust, it was SJ avoiding her issues. It didn't mean anything because they had vendettas, ulterior motives. And sure, by the morning those didn't matter, but it matters now because the look Tom is giving her is different. There was no other rhyme or reason on SJ's behalf but now Tom is looking at her and she is so scared that he might really kiss her. Tom might kiss her and it'll be like all the cliche movies and books where she feels like she's spinning on a carousel and fireworks are exploding behind them while butterflies and sparks consume her entire body.

She is terrified that she'll have this movie-like kiss with Tom because that means the feeling in her stomach and the uncontrollable smile etched across her face when she sees his messy curls and bruised skin mean exactly what she thinks. That strange, warmth in her chest she couldn't pin-point when he hugged her that day in the rain would all make sense and the sense of ease and catharsis she felt with her head on his bare chest would all confirm her fear. Her fear that she is, undoubtedly, in love with the one person she doesn't deserve.

But, above all else, she is excited. She's excited because SJ is not the person people fall in love. She's the girl people brush over. There's the kiss and then there's the sex, maybe they stay for a little while but she wakes up alone. SJ has Mikey, Matty, and Travis and she likes having those three to wake up to down a hallway, to talk to, but she is so excited that maybe she'll have someone new. She can have Tom and he can be hers. Just hers. Maybe SJ can have a love like no other, if she just lets herself, and she is fucking excited that this might be a kiss, a real kiss with passion and love, hesitance and fear from his side that she might not feel the same way because he loves her, too, maybe it won't be so scary.

But, the scary part is front and center and SJ wants Tom to stop looking at her like he's fallen so in love with her that he's willing to give up everything he's worked up for because...after all of this, she can't be the reason he gives up his life. She's not someone people fall in love with. She is not someone who is careful or easy. SJ is a wild card, scared of everything. A flight risk. But, she's hoping more than anything that he will lean in and his strawberry flavored, chapped lips will brush against hers and his nose will just touch hers for a second, as if silently asking if it's okay, before he finally just kisses her. Above all else, SJ just wants to love and be loved back the same way. SJ wants someone to show her that she doesn't have to be a flight risk or some one-night stand. She's everything he could ever want and need.

Tom leans forward and SJ's holding her breath while her heart pounds against her ribcage.

_Do it._

He extends his hands and places his calloused palm against the side of her neck, his thumb brushing over the faint bruise that lingers on her pale skin. His eyes aren't on her lips anymore, just the bruise and SJ can feel the pounding of her heart move to her stomach, convinced the excitement has been for nothing. But, then, Tom looks back to her light brown eyes and he's never seen eyes quite like hers before. They remind him of Jupiter, like the pictures in the expensive textbooks for astronomy. Crystal clear as if the planet has always been there the entire time. And her eyes remind him of fall, of his favorite season because there are different colors that subtly make up the shade of her eyes like the leaves that decorate the pavement. They decorate the black cement and dying grass in shades of orange, brown, and yellows. It's beautiful.

SJ's shoulder is pressed against the couch cushion and it's so uncomfortable and her neck aches from the position but she's afraid to move. She's afraid that she'll scare Tom off so she stays still and she waits for him to say something or move closer. Tom's chest is moving with every breath and his breathing is picking up as if he's just as nervous and scared as SJ is and it shouldn't be comforting but it is. SJ is scared of him but she likes that's he's afraid of her, afraid of her for different reasons than other people. Maybe he's afraid because he just wants to love someone and be loved back, just like her. Maybe he's afraid he's going to scare her away because he knows this is different.

Tom leans forward, his eyes locked on SJ's, nervous and careful. SJ remains still, partially paralyzed from her own fear and partially afraid of scaring him off like a timid deer. But her stillness doesn't stop Tom. He takes it slow because he wants this to be something and this can be something incredible. So, his nose brushes against hers and his eyes droop with adornment the second he smells the leftover scent of her bubblegum flavored gum. SJ's eyes are wide, a sheer sign of her uncertainty and fear but the second Tom presses his forehead to hers, the uncertainty melts away like a freezepop in the peak of summer. Her eyes close and she can smell the strawberry chapstick on his lips and his eyes flutter closed for a few seconds before he can find the courage to ask.

"You alright?"

SJ's eyes open and she swears she's never seen anything so beautiful, so perfect. His eyes are dark. Dark brown like the bark of shaded Cherry Blossom tree. His eyes hold secrets she's dying to hear, but only if he's willing to tell her. She wants to hear about his secrets and his life, his favorite color and she wants to know why he hates whatever movie he does. She wants to know his life but only if he wants to share it with her. She wants to share hers with him.

"Yeah." Her voice is hushed, just above a whisper and Tom swears it doesn't even sound like her because the word is vulnerable and delicate, everything SJ tries not to be but he loves it.

Tom moves and his nose brushes against hers while his lips ghost over hers. "Good." His warm breath graces her lips with the word that should have sounded confident. But, SJ swears Tom sounds vulnerable, vulnerable but trying not to and she loves it.

Tom's hand moves up to her cheek and his lips finally collide into hers. SJ can feel the sting of tears behind her eyes, the best kind of tears as she kisses him back. Her hands come to his neck and pull him closer to her and Tom sighs against her lips like he can breathe for the first time in a year. This kiss is like oxygen, finally letting Tom breathe properly and easily. And every ounce of hesitance and fear is just leaving SJ with every movement of Tom's lips against hers because he is the safest person on the planet and she can breathe for the first time in years.

Tom leans into SJ, moving his hand from her cheek to her waist, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her on top of him. Their lips never disconnect during the position change, the two of them too invested to detach. SJ's legs straddle Tom's lap, her hands are cupping his neck while his hands are grasping at her hips, pulling her as close as possible. And it's everything SJ wants because butterflies are exploding in her stomach and she can feel him smiling against her mouth. And when she starts to smile back, their teeth knock and laughter fills the room before their lips meet again. This is so much different than the other times because this isn't about getting off. They are happy here. This, this is happiness.

SJ's hands move to the hem of Tom's shirt, tugging it over his head, the material getting stuck for a second and allowing the two of them to erupt in laughter before Tom starts taking her shirt and bra off. They're so comfortable and happy with each other as Tom kisses from just above her breast, to her neck, and back to her lips, a smile never leaving his face. The smile is aching his cheeks but he doesn't care because his heart is beating a thousand miles an hour and they're laughing and he's crazy about her and that scares the hell out of him.

Tom's hands go back to SJ's hips and she grinds against him. Tom whimpers against SJ's lips before she grinds down again. Tom pulls at her hips, encouraging her to keep going as he detaches his lips from hers and starts making his way down her neck and her collarbones. The kisses are slow and open-mouthed, sending chills down SJ's spine. A whimper just above a whisper comes from SJ's throat as Tom starts kneading her breast, running his thumb over her nipple. Her eyes close and she grinds down harder, eliciting a moan from Tom.

"Condom?" SJ asks as she starts kissing Tom's jaw, his head going back and resting on the back of the couch.

"In my room." Tom mutters, lost in the pleasure of SJ's movements.

"Got it." SJ whispers against his skin before pushing up to her knees and reaching behind the couch. Tom holds her hips steady so she doesn't fall and when she comes back over, her bag is in hand. She digs through a pocket before pulling out her wallet and a condom. She gives Tom a shy smile, holding the square and handing it to him before putting her belongings to the floor. "I like having sex with you." SJ whispers and her face shines bright as she bites her lip.

Tom hums, pulling her face to his and capturing her lips in a deep kiss. "I like having sex with you, too."

It's more than the sex though. It's that he gets to be there with her. Of course, it's fun and everything but he feels close to her. It's not just the sex, it's her in general. It's everything about her and it makes him feel like he could never feel lonely again. It's like she's this piece of him he didn't even know he was missing. So, it's not the sex, it's SJ and it's always been SJ and it'll always be SJ.

SJ gets off of Tom, unbuttoning her jeans and shimmying out of the tight material, Tom watching her with wide eyes and raised brows. A smirk crosses his face and he follows her lead and starts tugging his pants and boxers off. Once him and SJ have discarded their clothing, Tom pulls SJ towards him by her hand, helping her straddle him before he rolls the condom on. She hovers above his hardened length as her lips go to his kiss once more and it's like electricity is shooting through Tom's spine.

It's SJ that's been having those three words tugging at her brain but now it's Tom and he wants to tell her so bad. He wants to say it because it's true and he wants to always be honest with her. He wants to show her that honesty is good and healthy and it is so scary but it's always the best option. It's cliche and cheesy but it's true, especially in times with dealing with other people's emotions. He loves her and he wants to tell her.

"SJ?" Tom pulls away and his breathing is slightly labored, brows pulled together, the expression showing his fear.

SJ's eyes meet his and she knows what he's thinking because she looks at him the same way but she doens't want him to say it. If he says it, she has to say it back. She has to say it back because she loves him, too but if she tells him, it makes it so real and that is the scariest thing of all. Reality is fucking terrifying. There are no take-backs in reality. No one can just unring the bell. Once it's out there, it's out there and she can be vulnerable with him like this but she can't say the words, not yet.

_Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it_

Tom shakes his head, his hands coming to her cheeks and colliding his lips to hers in a heated and needy kiss. Tom can't tell her he loves either because he knows she'll run and because he's just as afraid of reality as SJ is. He likes the little bubble they've created here.

SJ sinks down onto him, slow and careful, her jaw going slack once her hips meet Tom's. Tom's hands go to her hips once more and they hold her there for a few more seconds, keeping her still and letting the two of them adjust while their chests are already heaving in a steady tangine.

Tom's arms flex as his fingers dig into her hips and help her start grinding, her hips meeting his in a steady and slow rhythm. Their breaths intertwine as SJ starts to speed up. Whimpers and moans fall from their lips as they take turns kissing each other's neck and moving back to their lips. A light layer of sweat starts to cover the both of them and a coil builds in their stomachs, the rhythm becoming messy with every passing second.

"Tom." SJ moans and Tom bucks his hips up harder this time, a louder moan of his name escaping SJ's throat before his hand moves between the both of them and starts rubbing her clit at just the right speed.

Tom's quick movements and the harder bucks of his hips send SJ over the edge, her walls clenching around Tom sending him over the edge with her. Tom bites down on her shoulder, moaning as his hips stutter against hers as he rides out his high. SJ heaves, her forehead resting in the crook of his neck. A chill runs down her exposed back as she comes down from her high.

She lifts her head and a lazy but adorable smile is on Tom's face, making SJ's heart skip a beat. His eyes are hooded and his hair is damp with sweat and she can't help but kiss his cheek and then his nose.

"Mmm," Tom hums, kissing her lips gingerly. "Hey." Tom says and his voice is now rough.

"Hi." She says shyly. She shares the same smile Tom does and he knows it's different. They didn't say it, but he can feel it so he clears his throat and kisses her again. "That was,"

"Yeah," Tom whispers between kisses. "We should-" Tom says each word between a kiss.

"Move?" SJ does the same.

"Yeah." Tom chuckles, pulling away, eyes happy and blissful.

SJ nods in agreement. The two of them get their discarded clothing from the floor, Tom putting his boxers back on but he tosses SJ his shirt, offering it to her to wear. She takes it with a shy smile and she packs her jeans, bra, and shirt away, leaving her in Tom's shirt and her underwear. Once they're dressed, they turn the couch around to face the TV and Tom gets the blinds while SJ finds a random movie to have on.

Tom lays on the couch first, his back against the back of the couch and he extends his arms out, gesturing for SJ to join him. She doens't hesitate, not at all, as she moves to lay in his arms. She faces him as on Tom's arm falls over her hip and holds her close enough. SJ kisses his shoulder and there's something more here because she just wants to pepper his skin with the softest kisses and never leave him. He's everything she could ever ask for. The universe is a fucked up place but she's so fucking happy that it gave her him. And Tom is so fucking happy that he has her.

Tom kisses her temple and his thumb rubs her hip. "Hey," Tom whispers and SJ looks up to him and she's not scared of what he's going to say. He's looking at her like she's the north star. "You're beautiful." He whispers gently and SJ blushes, looking away from him.

"Stop." She shakes her head but the smile is uncontrollable and stuck to her face but she refuses to meet Tom's stare.

Tom moves his finger under her chin and gently lifts her head to look up to him. "No, I mean it." He says quietly. "You're beautiful." SJ's eyes dart over his face and there isn't a reason for him telling her but he did because she is. And she's so crazy about him. So, she kisses him again and he kisses her back before pulling away and his voice quivers a little. "I really like you."

Tom watches her and hopes she'll say it back. He won't be mad if she doesn't because he knows she's scared but he really wants her to. He knows she likes him, he knows deep down it's more than that and all he wants is for her to say it back.

_Please, say it back._

SJ can see the plea in his eyes and he's like this emotional tether, someone who can keep her grounded and pull her back with ease. He's her someone.

"I really like you, too."


	17. parental figures

SJ's body is warm with Tom's arms wrapped snugly around her body. The sound of him softly snoring fills her ears and she smiles to herself with contentment. She wiggles the grip of his arms loose enough so she can turn around and face him. Tom lets out a groan and his grip tightens.

"No, don't go." He mutters, face scrunching.

"I'm turning around." SJ chuckles, finishing facing him.

Tom peaks an eye open and a tired smile comes to his face. "Oh."

SJ shakes her head as she curls into his chest. Tom's arms pull her as close to him as possible before his fingers brush up and down her back. SJ lets out a satisfied sigh and she'd give anything to stay like this. It's like they're in their own little bubble. It's just the two of them in his living room, curled up under a thick blanket, and it feels like the safest place there ever could be. There's no Arthur, no fighting, it's just them being together, arms around each other and legs intertwined. What would it cost to just stay like that?

Tom's alarm starts going off and both him and SJ groan. Tom leans over her and to the floor, grabbing his phone and shutting the alarm off. He leans back and is met with her stare. She looks almost timid, kind of like she doesn't really know what to do or say and there's this small part of Tom that almost finds it a bit comical. SJ's quick-witted but right now, nothing. She's looking at him and waiting for him to say something more and Tom is in love with her.

"'Mornin', darlin." Tom smiles and brushes a few strands of hair away from her face.

"Morning." SJ blushes.

" _You stayed_." Tom whispers and his face softens.

"I told you I would."

Tom shakes his head and a smile splits his face before he leans in and kisses her. SJ kisses him back and Tom can feel her smile against him and it's like he's moved an entire mountain. He's been addicted to her since day one and she couldn't care less. It's taken a lot but she cares now and it's the best feeling.

"Hey," SJ pulls away and she dodges his stare. "Um, thanks...for not leaving." SJ bites her lip and it means the world because everyone always leaves.

"I'll never leave you." Tom says and there's not an ounce of hesitance in his voice because he means it.

SJ can pull anything at this point and Tom wouldn't turn his back on her. He's not everyone else. He cares about her and he'll be right there even if she doesn't want him to be because no one deserves to be alone. He's with her through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

SJ's cheeks a pretty shade of pink as she kisses him again and she likes kissing him like this, not heated or needy. Just kissing him to kiss him.

"I've to get ready for work." Tom mutters against her lips. "What time you've to go in?"

"Oh.." SJ pulls away. "I got laid off for the week."

Tom's heart sinks as SJ tells him. "What happened?"

"I look like I get my face busted in every week and it's bad for business." SJ rolls her eyes. "It's fine, I'll be looking for a new job that doesn't give a shit because they'll be firing me for it soon but I'll get ahead of it. Been fighting for jobs forever, I can do it."

Tom's brows furrow. There's something not comforting with the way SJ explains it. Maybe it's the way she just...explains it like it's really not a big deal. He knows it's bullshit. She needs that money any way she can get it and losing a job isn't going to help that. But, she brushes it off and it only makes him question what kinds of jobs SJ has managed to have and get on short notice,  _how_  she's managed to get them.

"It's fine, really." SJ reassures.

"If you need something-"

"I won't." SJ shakes her head.

"But if you do." Tom states. "Let me know, ya?"

"Okay." SJ agrees. "Uh, can you take me this mechanic shop on Halstead though? Mikey works today and it's been a minute since I've been to the shop and it's not really out of your way. It's fine if you don't want to. I ca-"

"I can take you." Tom chuckles as he cuts her off. "I gotta get ready now then." SJ nods and Tom pecks her lips before getting up from the couch.

While Tom gets ready for work, SJ finds herself looking around his apartment. She isn't snooping or going through anything, just looking around. If it's one thing she respects more than anything, it's innocent people's privacy. But, his apartment already shows plenty. When she was here the last time, it'd been a rough night and she didn't really pay attention to anything besides the windows so now, she's really getting to look.

A few pictures hang on the wall and it breaks SJ's heart a little. One of them is an old picture. Tom looks to be maybe fifteen and he's surrounded by people SJ assumes are his family. Three other boys and a man and a woman. They all look happy and SJ still can't process why Tom would just give that up. Sure, people fake their emotions all the time, especially in pictures, but either they're all good actors, or they really were a happy family. SJ never had that and Tom should. He should go back to having that.

There are more pictures hanging, some of Harrison's family she'd guess. She doesn't know what made Harrison move away from them but he doesn't seem to have any major issues so maybe he just followed Tom. That's what she hopes anyway. There a few more with scattered people, maybe friends and maybe some family and it all just looks so damn normal. This is what a house looks like. There are pictures of friends and family framed and they all seem happy. That's supposed to be a normal family and for the life of her, SJ wants to know why her.

Tom had this whole other life and he comes here, gets mixed up Arthur, and now he's mixed up with her. Why her? She's grateful as hell for him but she doesn't get it. He can do better and she knows that. It's nothing to with her own self-esteem but what Tom deserves. He doesn't deserve someone who's been to hell and back a few times in only two decades. Maybe there isn't really a reason and SJ knows that, sometimes there's just not a reason as to why people choose the people they do. It's all emotions and chemicals but it makes her wonder. He's kind of like the sun and she's like a blizzard. She's grateful, so grateful she's not going to dare to ask him, but she wonders.

After Tom finishes getting ready, the two of them head out for their day. There's some conversation between the two of them as Tom takes SJ to the mechanic's shop but it's mostly the two of them listening to the playlist Tom has playing. His hand is holding hers while his arm rests on the center console and it's still peaceful. SJ's actually dreading for the short drive to be over because she knows the second she steps out of that car, she'll be thrown back into reality and it's gonna suck. Tom, he's thinking the same thing. But, drives do come to and end and the two say their goodbyes and SJ heads into the shop.

"Hey!" Mikey calls out as he looks up from the car he was working on.

"Hey." SJ nods as she walks up to him. "Sup?"

"Working." Mikey chuckles. "So, what time did you go home last night?" Mikey ducks under the hood and continues what he was doing.

"Jump to the point, why don't ya, damn." SJ mutters with the role of her eyes. "I didn't." She says.

Mikey turns his head, brows raised. "You.....really stayed with him?"

"Uh-huh." SJ nods.

"Okay," Mikey stands up straight again, grabbing the rag to wipe his grease-covered hands. "How'd it go?"

"He had this whole other life, ya know? I've been dirt fuckin' poor pretty much my entire life and I steal shit or scam it. It's what I do, ya know? But you look at him and his apartment and you see that it's just....so fuckin' nice and there are pictures of happy families and fuck knows I've never had that. And it's just....it's so put together. I dunno." SJ shakes her head after she's done rambling.

"He's fighting with Arthur. I wouldn't call that put together, Rocket."

"I would." SJ defends. "Arthur still pays him. He has money. I get the fuck beat outa me and all I have to show for it are bruises from hell, broken bones, bloody knuckles, and a week off that'll turn permanent soon."

"Okay," Mikey sighs. "So, what? You wanna know why chooses you or some shit?" SJ nods sheepishly and Mikey shrugs. "I don't know." He scoffs and it's not a sarcastic scoff, he's serious. He really doens't know. "Dude, I love you and you know that but fuck, you make it hard to like you sometimes. You're bitchy half the time and you're impossible when it comes to getting information. You're shady as fuck."

"Gee, thanks." SJ sneers.

Mikey just laughs. "No, listen." Mikey gestures a hand out. "You put that shit out there. You all but advertise it and he chooses you anyway. I don't trust the fucker but I'm not gonna trust a damn person who works for Arthur until they're not working with him. I don't know why he's choosing you but he is. You're looking for a reason to leave." Mikey states and SJ opens her mouth to argue but Mikey doesn't give her the chance. "Don't. Don't argue with me either because I know you. You're looking for a good reason to leave him because he's not treating you like shit and it scares you. Stop fucking him over, Rocket."

"I haven't fucked him over." SJ mutters.

"You made out with his best friend and you were planning on letting Arthur traffic him? Kill him? Whatever the hell that bastard does. You leave when you sleep with him which is rude. You judged him from the very first time you saw him. You still haven't told him about Arthur. That's all fucking him over."

"You're not nice to him either, what's your excuse?"

"Fuck's sake, Rocket. You be happy with him and I, as your best friend, look out for you. I'm making sure he's not just here to fuck with you. It's my job but you're fuckin' into him so let yourself be into him. Matty's nothing bad to say about him so, I'm gonna be a dick but you should not be."

Mikey's rant catches SJ off guard. Mikey doesn't even like Tom but he's out here defending him, kind of. He's right, of course he is because Mikey usually is. SJ looks for a good reason to leave even when she doesn't want to and that's what she did. She convinces herself that she's not good enough and it'd be easier to leave Tom now, it'd be better for him. She doesn't want to and Mikey can see that and he's right. Which just means she needs to stay and she will because if Tom doesn't deserve something, it's her up and leaving for her own selfish fear.

As the day goes on, SJ sits on the conversation with Mikey, she decides that instead of not just leaving, maybe she can embrace it. Tom's been the one trying for weeks now so it's SJ's turn to return that. So, she texts him and asks him if he wants lunch and offers to bring it to him. The offer catches Tom by surprise but he takes up the offer. SJ offers to get him and Harrison whatever they want and Tom offers to repay her. Of course, SJ declines but Tom knows he can figure out a way to pay her back for the food.

It's around one when SJ shows up to Tom's work, a bag from Portillo's in hand. It's a simple gesture really and SJ is only there to drop off the food and head out before she goes to the gym for her shift but it's still nice. Tom fills with excitement for the full five minutes of seeing her and Harrison can't wipe the grin from his face. Despite the shit they're surrounded by, it just doesn't seem so bad for that part of the day.

But, as life would have it, not all good days must stay good.

Arthur saw SJ stop by with the food. He saw SJ kiss Tom's cheek, beaming and looking at him with soft eyes. Tom looks at her the same way and Arthur isn't an idiot. They both seem insanely happy despite what Arthur did. Despite SJ being the one to help. Arthur wants Tom to use SJ, get inside her head and maybe this really is the perfect way. He just needs to make sure.

"So, I saw Witter bring you and Osterfield lunch." Arthur says as he closes the door to his office.

"I was hungry. She was going to work." Tom holds a straight face, already bored of the conversation.

"She's just bringing you lunch from the kindness of her heart?" Arthur crosses his arms over his chest, his annoyance starting to show through.

"Yeah." Tom mimics his movements.

"You're not seeing each other?" Arthur gets to the point.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Tom challenges.

"So you are?" Arthur affirms.

"Yeah, thanks to the burns on my back and the fuckin' crest on her arm. So, thanks for bringing us together."

Maybe it's not smart for Tom blurt out about him knowing about the crest but Arthur gets under his skin. Arthur thinks he's ahead of everything but he's not. And Tom is fed up. He hurt SJ,  _he branded her_ , and Tom is gonna make sure Arthur knows and he's not just going to back off and do whatever he says anymore. He'll try his hardest in the ring because that's the contract, that's his literal life on the line and Harrison's, but that's it. He's not letting Arthur control anything else.  

Arthur's nostrils flare with the remark.  _SJ told_. "Watch your mouth, Holland."

Tom scoffs, gesturing his arm out. "Or what? Gonna be burn me again? Fuckin' go for it."

Arthur was so sure SJ wouldn't let her guard down. It's not her to just tell people things and she told Tom. If she told him about the crest, who's to say she didn't tell him about everything else? The crest is just the beginning and it's only a matter of time before SJ starts really talking, the one thing Arthur was positive wouldn't happen. But, arrogant people aren't always the ones ahead of the game.

"Go." Arthur says and Tom doesn't waste anymore time before heading back to his desk.

The second the door shuts, Arthur goes to his desk with an idea.

* * *

Luckily, the one encounter with Arthur was it for a week. An entire week of almost normal for everyone. Tom and Harrison went to work and SJ would bring them lunch, she continued to offer even after Tom had told her about Arthur. In fact, he didn't really cross her mind after the second day and it became easy. Tom brought her lunch one day when they happened to have their lunch at the same time. It was a nice change and it was all just so normal. It's something SJ's never had but quickly grew to love and appreciate.

The fight took place over the weekend as it normally does and both SJ and Tom had their best fights yet. Neither of them took hardly any hits. Tom got hit good once in the eye and SJ twice in the ribs but that's it. They might be seeing each other but it's only proven to keep their heads in the ring, not on each other. With them really seeing each other, they don't have to worry. It brings out another form of confidence and competitiveness. Who can do better in their fight and they want to impress the other. Arthur's entire plan backfired and it's only the first week. But, maybe come the next fight, something will change.

Now, it's Tuesday and Tom's just picked up SJ from the gym. It's chilly but not too bad so the two had agreed to walk. It's always nice with the two of them walking together. It can be silent or they can never stop talking until they reach their destination. Cars are great and everything, but SJ and Tom prefer walking with each other.

Tom's arm is wrapped around SJ's shoulders, keeping her close to him and keeping her warm against the wind. A shared pair of white earbuds hang between the two of them as their feet meet the pavement of the road. SJ's house is coming into view and nerves settle in.  
  
Travis never meets anyone. He only really knows Matty and Mikey because SJ grew up with them and went to school with them. It's just hard with people meeting Travis. They either ask too many questions about him or ask too many questions to him, both of which make SJ wanna burst at the seams. It's none of anyone's business but she does try to understand the curiosity. But, then again, that's what Google is for.  
  
But, more anxiety starts to cloud SJ's mind as she hopes Travis will like Tom. Tom's face isn't horribly bruised this time. There's still tinting of yellow and blue in places but he had a good fight over the weekend, leaving his face nearly unscathed. If Travis knew how SJ met Tom, he'd flip. She wouldn't listen to a word he had to say, but she also wouldn't want to listen to it and always having to be at Tom's, while nice, isn't always the best. SJ likes his home but it's not hers and she hates intruding on Mikey and Matty but it's always that or having to make sure Travis isn't home. It's just gotten tiring having to hide Tom from her brother. But, if Travis doens't like him, it won't matter because it'll just make being at the house hell. SJ likes Tom so hopefully, Travis will, too.  
  
"Who's that?" Tom asks, jerking his head towards SJ's house as they start crossing the street, her walkway to her house being only a few yards away. 

He knows Mikey, Matty, and Harrison obviously, but there's a man in a wheelchair and a person in a thick winter coat making their way down a makeshift ramp from SJ's house. Tom can only guess the man in the wheelchair is her brother which just raises a few questions he knows better than to ask. So, he just sticks with asking who people are.  

Travis is coming out with Mikey, Matty, and Harrison, all three following someone SJ never thought she'd see again. Her feet slowly come to a halt and her heart starts thundering in her ears. SJ's mouth runs dry and she can't decide if she wants to cry or scream. Tom is looking down to her, brows pulled together in confusion but her stare is set on the person standing at the end of her walkway, their eyes on hers. SJ's fists ball at her sides as she shrugs Tom's arm off of her and her fingers dig into her palms, almost enough to start drawing blood.

  
Everyone is standing and watching, waiting to see what SJ is going to say or do but all she sees is red. Pure, vibrant red. And it's written across her entire expression. It's Mikey's voice that pulls SJ from her thoughts of everything she wants to say and do to the person with the audacity to stand there with a gleeful smile, as if happy to see her.  
  
"Grab her!" Mikey yells as he moves to stand in front of SJ's target and as the words leave his mouth, SJ's lunging forward.   
  
Tom's quick and his arms wrap around her torso, pulling her against him as she thrashes around, trying to get his grip to loosen and Mikey is standing in front of the only person SJ will be happy to punch.  
  
"Aren't you happy to see me?" The person asks and their voice is desperate, laced in genuine hurt that SJ is fighting her way to them to cause damage.   
  
SJ pulls harder against Tom, pulling him with her but he's stronger and he's able to yank her back, arms flexing around her. "Let me go!"  
  
"Rocket, calm down." Mikey says, voice level as he stands in front of the person, arms out to block you. "You're not gonna fight in the middle of the street."   
  
"Why is she so upset?" The person asks and SJ can't fight the tears because they really think they've done nothing wrong and it hurts and it's infuriating.   
  
"Really?" Travis questions, his voice full of fury.   
  
"Let go!" SJ screams back at Tom and her voice almost breaks.   
  
"Nah," Tom says, his breath hot on her ear as she fights against him. "You're gonna calm down and tell me who that is before I let go."  
  
SJ should tell him. She knows he'll let go the second she tells him and she can do what she wants. Mikey can try and stop her but she's quicker than him. One good swing, that's all SJ wants. It's everything she needs right now so, SJ takes her chance and she has to tell Tom. A single tear falls and her voice breaks as she tells Tom who it is.

"She's my mom." SJ croaks and Tom's arms loosen from around her in shock.

His eyes are wide as he stares at the woman in front of them. That's her mom. That's the woman who abandoned SJ and her brother. That's the woman that verbally abused SJ. The addict who couldn't be bothered to give a rat's ass about her own children. Tom's blood runs of nothing but fire with looking at her and he almost wants to yell in her face, too but SJ is breaking free of his grip and snapping him from his shocked state.

"Hey, hey, hey." Tom says, regaining his grip around SJ after struggling for a foot. "C'mon, let's go inside." Tom's voice is hushed in SJ's ear but she's not hearing it.

"Why are you here?" SJ screams, pulling against Tom's arms. "Go back to wherever the fuck you've been!"

"I love you!" Her mom says and it is really like she means it. But, parents that love their children don't abandon them. They don't choose their addictions over their damn children. That's not love. It's greed.

"Bullhit!" SJ manages to pull at Tom and take a step forward. "Bullshit! You don't love me!"

"I made a mistake leaving!" Her mom's voice cracks and a few tears fall onto her cheeks.

SJ stares at her in disbelief and fury. If it were a mistake, she would have come back years ago but she didn't. She stayed gone and she never even bothered to call or send a letter. It's not like SJ ever moved. That house has been their house since before SJ was even born. Travis has grown up in that house his entire life. Her mom didn't not the address. She simply couldn't be bothered. She doesn't care and she's only showing up because she's low on cash or she got mixed up with the wrong people. Something but it's definitely not because she thinks leaving was a mistake or because she loves her children.

"No fucking shit!" SJ's face turns red with her screaming. "But we don't need you anymore so go away!"

"Please, Sarah-"

"Ahhh!" SJ screams and for a second, Tom's heart shatters as SJ stops fighting him.

Her scream is in frustration but it is broken. It's as broken as his cry for help and everyone else can feel the shatter of SJ with that one scream. Travis looks away, Mikey closes his eyes, Matty's eyes start to water, and Harrison has to cover his face with one of his hands. That's the scream of someone who's been shattered and can't be glued back together.

"Don't fucking' call me that!"

"You're my daughter!" Her mom cries out.

"So?" SJ argues and she pulls against Tom's grip again. "If I'm your fucking daughter, where the fuck have you been?" SJ's voice comes down to a disgusted tone and everyone freezes. First comes the storm, then the calm, then the hurricane.

"I-I...you've always been my daughter.If...if you needed me, I would have come back. I would have but-"

"Fuck! You're kidding, right?" SJ lets out a dry laugh and her lip starts to quiver. And then the broken screams start. "Where the fuck were you when I needed you then? When  _we_  needed you! You knew about dad! You fuckin' knew and you never came home! Ever! You left us to be on our own! I was a fuckin'  ** _CHILD_**!" Tears stream down SJ's face as her throat is going raw. "I needed my mom! And  **you. Weren't. Here**! You never even sent me a birthday card! A letter? A phone call? You don't give a shit about me because  _you don't have to_! Why would you have to give a shit when Travis does your fucking job? When dad was around? And where the fuck were you when Travis got hurt?"

"Juliet." Travis calls out, his voice calm but broken. "Just...please stop."

"No, Travis! This is everything you wanna say, right? Remember all those nights I stayed up crying either because mom was too fuckin' high to even know my fuckin' name or because she called me a slut and a waste of space? Or how about when dad would kick her out and we had to listen her cry because she was high as fuck and couldn't remember shit she did? What about when I had to stay up crying because she fucking left and the last thing she said to me was that everything was my fault? And you, you were the one that said she wasn't a good mom. She was shit. You said it first."

"I wish I would have been there for all of that and I'm sorry I put you through it. I am but I'm here now-"

"I don't fuckin' need you now!" SJ snaps her eyes back her mom. "I help with Travis now. I take care of myself now. I dealt with dad's shit with Travis. I did it all no thanks to you because  ** _YOU. WEREN'T. HERE_**!" It's a wail that comes from SJ's lips.

Travis sighs and he knows he needs to do something because SJ is crying in the middle of the street and that's his sister. They've been through hell together and regardless of why their mother is back and how he feels about it, that doesn't excuse the fact that SJ is losing it. It's SJ over their mom, SJ's the family Travis has.

"C'mon, we'll leave SJ alone, okay, Mom?" Travis asks and he moves in front of her. "We can get some food."

"I just want to apologize, Travis."

"GO!" SJ screams. "Leave! I don't want you here! Travis, please get her away from me!" SJ shakes with her words as they slowly slur together.

Tom changes his grip from holding her back to more of a hug. He can feel her losing her footing as she continues to scream for Travis to take her mom away. Tom's the only person keeping her on her feet until Travis manages to convince their mom to leave. They turn their backs and SJ's legs give out with her chest heaving and tears streaming down her face.

Tom holds onto her as he sinks them back down the pavement, his arms tightening around SJ. She buries her head into his chest, sobbing and gripping his jacket. Tom can hardly breathe with the lump that's taken up his throat and the crushing weight weighing on his chest. He never thought he'd see anyone break like that but especially not SJ. Tears burn the back of his eyes and he just wants to take it all away from her. Take away her pain.

Tom clears his throat, blinking the tears away and sniffling softly. "Hey," He whispers and his voice is gentle. "Let's go inside, ya?" Tom rubs her back, eyes soft as he searches for hers. "C'mon, I'll help."

With tear stained cheeks, SJ nods and Tom takes her hands, helping the two of them to their feet. SJ dodges the eyes of the other boys who don't know what to say or do. The only thing they know how to do is stand and follow Tom and SJ inside. Mikey and Matty might know SJ but Matty wasn't around when SJ's mom dipped and Mikey, he knows this is a bad, bad subject. He was there was she left and he remembers how SJ took it. So, he just follows because SJ won't talk to him. If she'll talk to anyone, it's the person she's crying to and he's hoping that she will.

Tom and SJ reach her room and Tom closes the door. SJ paces around and one hand is wiping her eyes while the other is balled at her side. Her stare is set on the floor but she's completely silent. Tom can't imagine what could possibly be going through her head but he knows it can't be good. If it were him, he'd be lost. And confused. But, then, SJ stops and stares at Tom before she just starts yelling. Most of it isn't completely coherent because she's just rambling so fast Tom can't keep up. She's not crying anymore or even looking like she might cry, she is just fuming from every part of her body.

"SJ, please, just....breathe." Tom tries.

"Breathe?" SJ tries. "I can't! That bitch just shows up and what? Now she wants to be the fucking mom of the year? She acts she didn't do shit!"

"I know." Tom keeps his voice calm and level. "I heard but, maybe you should sit down and just talk to me about it, okay?"

SJ pauses. She was set to argue. She doesn't want to talk. Talking isn't her strong suit and right now, right fucking now, she can't handle sitting down and talking about her mother. She's talked about her already and that was enough for her. Her mother now shows up and that's not a reason for SJ to open up that can of worms again. She doens't want to and she shouldn't have to. So, she does what she does best. She avoids it.

SJ closes the few feet of distance between her and Tom and cups his face. She brings his lips to hers in a heated kiss. Tom's hands come up to her shoulders and he kisses her back but only for a few seconds before pulling her away, his hands still on her shoulders to keep her at arm's length.

"What are you doing?" Tom asks and he doens't want to be her distraction.

"I don't wanna talk." SJ mutters as she goes to cup his face again and kiss him but Tom keeps her away.

"No. I'm not a fuckin' distraction for you."

"I don't wanna talk about it!"

"Then don't!" Tom finally raises his voice, not wanting to be the one yelled at.

"Fine! I won't!" SJ screams. "Kiss me!  _Please_!"

"No!" Tom yells and he takes a step back, SJ's face falls immediately. "I'm not someone you get to fuck because you don't wanna talk about what's bothering you!"

SJ's jaw drops in offense. "Is that what you think you are?"

"You tell me!" Tom argues. "First time, it was because you were choked. Then it was because you didn't wanna talk about the fight and Arthur and whatever. Now, it's because your shitty fuckin' mum shows up. What am I supposed to think?" He doesn't mean it but he wants to SJ to see it. He knows he's not just someone to have sex with but that's what it seems like in this moment. 

"You're not just someone to fuck!" SJ's heart pounds and her eyes start to burn with tears.

"Now, you're gonna lie?" Tom questions. "Right now, I am."

"You're not!"

"Then what the fuck am I right now?" Tom asks and SJ stares at him with a clenched jaw and eyes drenched in agony and fury. She doesn't have anything to say because he's not wrong. "Yeah, exactly. I fuckin' care about you! I'm not gonna let you use me to make yourself feel better!"

SJ lets out a scream as she looks to the ceiling. "I'm not using you!"

"Then what?"

"I-I-I...." SJ huffs and she can't bring herself to say the right words because she's so pissed off and she's hurt that Tom is yelling at her. It's what she deserves because he's not wrong. She's not using him in every aspect but she does use him to avoid things that are bothering her.

Tom's face falls and he just stares at her with his eyes glossing over. He nods and looks to the floor for a second before looking back to her. "Really?"

"It's not like that." SJ whines. "Not like that, I...."

"You what?" Tom's heart is breaking in his chest. "What?"

"Can't we just drop this and-"

Tom groans and he shakes his head before running a hand through his hair. "No, we can't. We're not fuckin' dropping this." Tom walks for the door and SJ feels like her world is imploding on her. "I know you're not using me all the time. I know this shit is hard for you, okay? But I'm done being someone you use to fuck to avoid your shit. You deserve better than that. So, call me when you're ready to talk. I'm leaving."

"You promised!" SJ cries out and a few tears slip down her cheeks. "You said you wouldn't leave."

Tom turns the knob of the door and opens the door. "I know." He says. "I know I did." Tom turns around and exits the room, shutting the door behind him.


	18. finding home

Tom lets out a breath through his nose, leaning against SJ's door as he runs his hands over his face and through his hair. His eyes are squeezed shut and he's fighting every ounce of him not to walk back in that room. The look she gave him was enough to shatter him. She looked at him as if he just betrayed her in the worst way possible and in a way, he did. He said and promised he wouldn't leave but he did. However, SJ isn't fair to him and sometimes, the right thing to do is to walk away.

With a deep breath, Tom pushes away from the door and heads for the stairs. He hesitates walking down, hoping SJ will open the door. He might be walking away but she's also letting him and it hurts. A small part of him is almost relieved SJ has the respect to let him walk if he wants but that small part is outweighed by the guilt, assuming she can let him walk because she's her own mess of shattered glass right now. So, it's with a heavy heart that he peels his eyes from her door and starts walking down the stairs.

Mikey, Matty, and Harrison are seated in the living room, all three of them turning the second they hear someone coming from upstairs. Their eyes land on Tom and he pauses for a few seconds, the air stiff. It's written across their faces that they probably heard everything that was said between Tom and SJ and it just makes Tom's stomach turn but he can't take it back. That's the thing with words. Someone can apologize all they want, but it doesn't take back what they said. There's no rewind. Now, Tom's left having to face them as he finishes descending and moving to the couch. Harrison prepares to get up but Tom just sits next to him. The other boys all look at Tom with pure confusion, brows raised and eyes slightly narrowed.

"What?" Tom asks, looking between them all.

"You said you were leaving..." Matty says.

"Yeah," Tom says, looking to his hands and back to him. "The situation. Told her I wasn't gonna leave and I won't but I'm not gonna be someone she's gonna scream at or use to get over whatever she's going through. So, I'll be here when she wants to talk."

Matty cracks a smile and turns to look at Mikey. Regardless on if SJ will say it or not, Tom means the world to her and her friends know that. While Tom and SJ were arguing Matty and Mikey were busy questioning what they were going to do if he left. They'd have to not only pick up the pieces SJ's mom so gracefully destroyed but also the new pieces Tom would leave behind. They'd do it because they're her friends and that's what friends do, but they were hoping they wouldn't have to. SJ deserves someone who will stay even if she isn't always a deserving person.

Mikey leans forward, expression showing his skepticism. "Why?" Mikey asks.

"Why what?" Tom questions.

"Why are you willing to just give her the chance to talk? She took out everything her mom is bringin' up, on you. She uses you, like you just said. We heard the argument, every word of it so why are you staying?"

With Mikey's question, Matty and Harrison turn their attention to Tom who's just staring at Mikey with furrow brows and his mouth in a straight line.

"Because." Tom says simply.

"Why? It's not that simple." Mikey challenges.

"It is for me." Tom retorts.

"It's never that easy." Mikey grits his teeth.

Tom shakes his head, not believing that Mikey is picking an argument over Tom staying. If anything, Tom expected him to just stay quiet. He doesn't owe Mikey any explanation but Tom thinks of SJ and everything she's told him and Tom is the bigger person.

"Leave 'im alone." Harrison's brows pulled together into a scowl.

"'S fine, Haz." Tom glances to Harrison with the role of his shoulders before peering back at Mikey. "When you care 'bout someone, you don't leave because there's an argument. You walk out of the room, let it cool down, and you talk it out. It's that fuckin' simple. I like her so I'll be here whenever she needs me."

Mikey leans back in his seat, arms crossing as he stares at Tom. He's trying his hardest to find every possible reason to hate him but Tom just keeps throwing every reason  ** _to_**  like him. There's always going to be the aspect of Tom working with Arthur but the way Tom treats SJ makes up for it. He doesn't treat her like other people have and he looks at her like SJ makes his world go round. Mikey wants to hate him but Tom makes it hard.

"Her mom brings up alota shit for her, sends her into a spiral. She has a breakdown, takes it out on people she cares about. That's you." Mikey says, eyes still looking at Tom but they've lost their disdain. "She'll be up there at least an hour cooling off. You did the right thing leaving her alone and coming down here."Mikey's voice remains flat, almost reluctant on telling Tom anything. 

"Doesn't feel like it." Tom says, leaning back against the couch, running his hand through his hair once more.

"That's proof you did the right thing." Matty states, looking over to Tom.

"Why's she take it out on people?" Tom asks.

"She's scared." Mikey states. "Flight or fight and SJ's a fighter."

"Is she gonna be alright?" Tom's voice slightly distressed.

Mikey nods once. "Yeah, she'll be fine."

"What about you?" Harrison asks eyeing Tom.

"Fine." Tom says shortly.

Harrison shakes his head, letting out a breath. Tom doesn't walk away from people. He never has so Harrison knows it's eating at him but that doesn't mean Harrison doesn't agree. He would have walked away, too but that's always where they differed. Harrison just worries that if this doesn't work out, if this fight is too much or if SJ pulls away completely, it'll ruin Tom.

Tom sighs and stares at the TV. The house is silent besides whatever show is playing. There's no sound coming from the upstairs, just silence. Silence isn't always comforting but for SJ, it is. While the boys are downstairs, she's been cooling off, sitting at her desk. Her eyes sting from crying, they're puffy and everything looks foggy. Her nose is clogged and her entire body aches, a lump still jumping between her heart and throat. Everything was going so well and then her mom just had to show up.

SJ should have expected it but she felt safe with Tom. That's the issue with finding sanctuary in a person. It all seems so real but it's not. Sure, they're safe but they aren't bulletproof. No human is bulletproof and they can't protect anyone from everything. They can try to lessen the blow, but that bullet is still gonna hit and it just might go through both of them. It's a tough and painful spot for everyone. SJ knew better but she did it anyway because damn it, she deserves to be happy. But now, she's certain she's messed it up because she doesn't handle her problems "properly". She knows she's wrong and if it were reversed, she would have walked out, too but that doesn't ease the guilt or regret.

Then again, sometimes, guilt and regret can be good.

SJ flips the page of her book and something clicks. Her eyes widen and her thoughts start going a mile a minute as she jumps from her seat, searching for the laptop. Guilt and regret can make some people wallow and shut down but not SJ. She uses it to her advantage. With a few clicks on the laptop, she's able to view what she needs to and she has a plan.

She quickly grabs her phone and heads for the door. As far as SJ knows, Tom left but that doesn't mean Harrison isn't there and that doesn't mean she can't catch a bus or a train or even walk to Tom's apartment if she has to. However, she stops dead in her tracks when she sees over the railing to the living room and the back of Tom's head, him sitting right next to Harrison. Her sudden rushing and stopping grabbed all of their attention. SJ's eyes don't even look at anyone besides Tom.

"I...I thought you...."

Tom's heart pounds in his ears as he gets a look at her. Eyes red and hair messy as if she'd run her hand through it a hundred times. It hurts. "Told you I wouldn't." Tom says and his voice is gentle.

"Are you okay?" Harrison pipes up.

SJ nods. "Always, yeah."

"You were coming down here pretty fast." Matty chimes in.

"Yeah....I, uh," SJ stutters, looking back to Tom. "Was gonna go find....you." SJ bites her lip and her cheeks flush a pretty pink.

"You found me." Tom states.

"Yeah, can we talk?" SJ rushes her words, her head jerking up the stairs.

Tom nods and pushes himself off the couch, making his way to SJ. He's nervous as he follows her to her room and she is, too. Tom doesn't know exactly what she's going to say, if she's still mad, which he doubts but it's in his head. He wonders if he messed it up but SJ, she's just worried that she's going to mess things up further because yes, she is going to relay a plan to help him out of Arthur's game but that means she needs to apologize and more than that, it means she needs to explain a few more things. People run when it gets dark and twisty.

"Okay," SJ takes a deep breath as she closes her door. "I'm sorry." She sniffles once, her eyes just meeting Tom's. "You're right. I-I, uh, yeah, when shit hits the fan, I fuck people because there's no talking and no one wants to talk about the shit after sex. It gets me off for a night until I can think of some bullshit or some way to sugarcoat it. And....you don't...you don't deserve that."

Tom nods, taking a seat on the edge of her bed, watching her and waiting to see if there's more before he says anything.

"I....I just," SJ sucks on her teeth, dodging his stare. "I, really like you and," Her eyes go to the right, shame filling her expression. "It scares the hell out of me. I can fight people three times the size of me and I'm not scared. I'm scared of heights but I can face it. I, um, I'm scared of ending up like my mom but I know I won't. But...there's...." SJ licks her lips and picks at her nails, her eyes coming back to Tom's. "There's you. And you aren't a variable. You're a person. When I'm with you, you make my brain stall like...I don't have to be ten steps ahead of everyone all the damn time. Like.....I can breathe for the first time since....forever. So, when my mom shows up, I feel like I should have seen it coming. There was probably something and I missed it because I can breathe and I can relax and I don't have to fuckin' think with you and Tommy, it scares the hell out of me. And I took it out on you and I'm sorry because I shouldn't have. You deserve better." She croaks out the last part, trying not to break all over again.

The guilt is radiating off of SJ but that's not what's making Tom reach out of his arm, signaling for her to come to him. It's what she just said. Tom knows how she feels about feeling vulnerable and talking but she can be with him and she admits it. She admits it with her faults and Tom had already forgiven her before she even spoke but hearing it, that makes him know he doesn't deserve better because SJ is better. She's a mess but everyone is a little messy.

"'S alright." Tom says, softly, SJ standing between his legs, her hands on his shoulders and his hands on her hips.

"I....I, um, I...." SJ stammers, her hands squeezing his shoulders. "I don't....wanna lose you and I'm...scared I'm gonna fuck it up."

Tom shakes his head and squeezes her hips. "You still got me." He says simply, the prettiest and smallest smile coming to his face. "'M not gonna go anywhere, I promise." SJ's eyes start to water and Tom pulls her closer, his arms wrapping around her waist as he looks up to her. "Cause I really like you, too and it's like I can breathe around you, too."

SJ lets out a graceful chuckle, shaking her head before resting her forehead against his. Tom's eyes lock with hers and the smile that had formed faulters. Tom nudges her nose before kissing her softly and the smile comes right back. They're both pulled back into each other with one kiss. It's endlessly addicting and both of them are positive it would be devastating to have to go a day without it. She pulls away, eyes gentle and lip between her teeth.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Tom asks, voice kind and dulcet.

"No," SJ huffs. "But I will."

SJ moves out of Tom's grasp and sits beside him. She lets out a breath and Tom watches her carefully, surprised she's willing to talk. She's said a lot so he's surprised but he's so proud that she'll talk. Whatever pieces of her that are supposed to be shattered, they're gluing themselves back together and maybe Tom is just someone handing her the pieces.

"Okay, where do you want me to start?" SJ asks.

"Whenever you want." Tom states.

"Uh...." SJ scratches the side of her head, scrunching her face. "Okay....Arthur is the reason my mom is back. At least, I'm pretty sure because she's dressed pretty well and even from where I was, I could tell she was high. She doesn't have any connections here anymore besides Arthur because she burned them all. There's no reason for her to come back."

"Wait," Tom shakes his head. "Your mum knows Arthur, not just you?"

"Sadly." SJ rolls her eyes. "She was fuckin' him for drug money when she burned out everyone else. Don't really know how they met but it's Arthur and he's a slimy fuck and so is my mom so they probably just saw each other and bam. The rest is history, I guess." There's venom in SJ's words as she lays back. "I think Arthur did it because we both fought well this past weekend."

Arthur did look pleased by Tom's fight but he didn't with SJ's fight. Tom's getting better and so is SJ. They're getting closer. They get closer, they get better in the ring. That's not looking good for Arthur. He takes all the low blows and SJ is more than aware of it.  

Tom lays back with her, pulling up one of his knees and resting the heel of his foot on the edge of the bed. "Sounds like him." Tom agrees, his eyes staring at her ceiling. "What d'you plan to do then?"

"Ignore her until she fucks off." SJ groans. "Sure, she's here and it sent me into a tailspin but she's not gonna fuck up anything else. She'll be gone by Monday."

After the talk SJ and Tom originally had about her mom, he knows she's probably right but it breaks his heart that she knows that. Maybe it's better to know she won't stick around but it's heartbreaking nonetheless. As a kid, she shouldn't have had to deal with her mom leaving in order to give her this impression. She doesn't need her mom showing up and acting like she cares. If SJ is right, Arthur is paying her off. It took someone paying her mother to show up. It's disgusting.  

"I'm sorry, SJ." Tom turns his head, his eyes being met with the side of her face.

"Yeah, me, too." SJ shakes her head, glancing to him.

"That how you know Arthur?" Tom asks.

SJ faces him and turns her head. "Nope. I knew about him but I never met him until after my mom was long gone. You ready for this bit of the story?" Tom quirks a brow but nods. "Ian? The guy I owe money to? Yeah, he had a brother who worked for Arthur. Same shit as you. He was threatened and so he told Ian because shit like that scares a person. So, Ian knows I'm good with tech, he tells me he'll let me off the hook if I can pin Arthur for this shit. I agree because that's a fuck ton better than being in debt to a scumbag like Ian and I mean, Arthur's a piece of shit anyway. We get this plan that I'll hit up Arthur's office and Ian's brother will distract him. Arthur got a tip, probably from someone in the office and Ian's brother had a choice. His life or mine. So he pins me down with Arthur and Arthur brands me."

"So, you tried to prove what he was doing with his fighters? That's what happened?" Tom's eyes scan her face and SJ nods.

"Yeah, uh, I don't like Arthur anyway, obviously but he sells his boxers. He uses them and sells them if they lose so yeah. I got caught though, Ian's brother's lost, he was gone the next day and no one's seen or heard from him since. Ian doubled my debt. Arthur knew I wouldn't go to the cops because what the hell am I gonna say? I was illegally hacking into one of Chicago's finest computer's in his own office so he branded me? Yeah, not a good idea."

Tom's stomach drops as he listens to her recount the events. He knows. Arthur showed him what's on the laptop. It's an auction. He does sell his boxers and Tom knew but actually hearing SJ say it, hearing her say it happened, that's something else. Tom hoped that it was some twisted scare tactic but SJ's just crushed that small bit of hope. People don't disappear.

"Why not just tell them what you know?" Tom tries to reason, him trying to keep his mind from wandering and freaking out too much.

"Arthur probably transferred everything to a hard drive elsewhere until he knew it was safe, that I wouldn't say shit. And.....uh...he kind of.....miight have....more....on...me." SJ trails off.

Tom's eyes narrow as he stares at her. "What else is there?"

"So....you saw Travis." SJ looks away from him, his stare making her fiddle with her fingers.

"Yeah, yeah I did. What happened?" Tom loses the shocked tone, switching to one of apathy.

"Remember when I said he could have been extraordinary?"

"Yeah," Tom nods, moving to his side and using one of his hands to hold his head up. "'Bout hockey."

"Yeah," SJ looks to him. "He was." She sits up and chews her cheek, her jaw squaring as she faces Tom. "He found out he had a spine condition. It's where his spine narrows in his lower back. People can't play professional sports with it because it's a liability. If the spine gets hit right, that's it. Ya know? Well," SJ rolls her eyes. "My dad didn't know because why the hell would a kid need their spine x-rayed? So, when they did a physical for the Hawks, they found it and my brother was able to get this doctor to lie for him. Proof we're siblings, I guess. Talk anyone into anything if we try hard enough." Her words drip with snark and venom. "So, he goes to play for the Blackhawks. The dream. He did it. Until a year later when someone body checked him into the boards and that was it. Everything got stripped. Insurance, career, paychecks, his ability to walk. The money he had saved went to medical bills and it didn't take long before they piled up. And he's in constant pain. Constant pain means painkillers. He needs narcotics. They're expressive."

"What'd you do?" Tom's tone is low and touched with hints of worry.

"I got involved with Ian and started dealing. I had to make the money and I had to get Travis his meds. You do for family and desperate people do desperate things. My dad was pulling overtime every time he could but he was union. If there wasn't work, there wasn't work. His boss and co-workers let him take extra shifts when they could but it wasn't enough. So, I...I did what I had to."

"What happened?" Tom reaches out to her, his fingers lightly tapping her knee. His heart is aching with everything she's saying and he just wants her to know he's there and it's okay.

"Arthur caught me dealing. His nephew or something had gotten into drugs so he was tracking down who was selling to him. It was me because that's my life." SJ scoffs. "He had one of his employees buy from me with a wire and shit and he had photos. It's another reason he knows I wouldn't go to the cops over the burn. He's got blackmail."

"Why wouldn't he just turn you in after you broke into his office?"

SJ was afraid of that question. She's pretty sure she knows why but it's not something she's ready to get into. Before, SJ never had any intention on telling Tom every single detail but this bit especially. However, her mind has changed because Tom just takes everything in. He absorbs it all like a sponge and just lets it be. It's comforting, just not comforting enough to let her tell him now. She'll tell him, just when she doesn't need to explain a thousand different things at the same time. So, she opts for a response that isn't a lie.

"I think he's saving it for when he needs it. He didn't need it then. I can do whatever I want but the second I start talking to cops, that's when he'll flip."

This is all a lot for Tom take in. He knew it was going to be bad and complicated but he really didn't expect to get it all at once. Everything seems to be connected and Tom's head is just spinning so he can only imagine how SJ is feeling. She's been involved with a lot for years it seems and he gets it. The more he finds out the more he understands why she snaps and why she's afraid of letting people in. He's almost certain he wouldn't last if he were in her position. He felt like he could crumble just from Arthur alone, let alone everything else she's dealing with. SJ is unbelievably resilient.

"Where's that leave you then?" Tom asks.

"I have to have everything on Arthur. If I can get everything, what he has on me, won't matter." SJ's expression is harsh, full of determination.

An all too familiar feeling comes to Tom's stomach, one that says SJ is onto something and it'll be a lot to handle but he pushes it away because she wouldn't have that expression or be telling him that if she didn't need him. So, Tom sits up, feet planting on the floor. "Okay, whatever you need. I'll help."

"Funny you should say that." SJ grins, moving off the bed and going to her desk. She looks to Tom, a glint in her eyes as Tom just watches her in curiosity and slight amusement at her sudden change. "I have a plan."


End file.
